• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
I dont think it was the seperation. Things were going fantastic until just about 3 weeks ago.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35067544]i was having lunch with this girl and shes part of this program where she helps the kids with disabilities literally right before i was about to ask her out for saturday night (im not free any other time), the kids all ask her what shes doing over the weekend, and it turns out shes busy on saturday night so i decided not to ask her out since she obviously couldnt do you think that was smart or should i have just asked her out for the next weekend instead?[/QUOTE] Is it bad that I thought of the possibility of her going to lunch with you because you are disabled and don't know it yet... But jokes aside, I think there's less pressure if you wait a bit then ask, if you ask 2 weeks beforehand it leaves a lot of waiting time and other plans could arise. But definitely ask.
So, I had a startling realization tonight. There is this girl that I've been friends with since freshman year of highschool that goes to University recently. We went to prom together out of convenience more than anything else, and because one of our friends were in town today we all went out to dinner. Out of the fucking blue, my brain decides to develop an acute case of "Hey it's my fri-HOLYSHIT she's cute lets ditch all mental abilities". Now I can't hang out with her without getting all googoo-eyed. What do?
So, I'm taking this job-course to improve my chances for getting a better job(learning to write better CV's, practicing interviews and that sort of stuff). There's this crazy girl there, around my age, who seems to like me, but I don't quite feel the same for her(quite being an understatement). She has a criminal background(she did/does drugs, chased a dude around with a box-cutter, most of her family is in jail, and she crashed while drink-driving). She also has no social antennas and blurts out every word she thinks of. Like which sex-positions she likes the most, pulling out condoms of her purse, how many guys she's slept with, her criminal background, what drugs she's used and more nasty stuff that I won't go into. My main problem is that, even if I'm acting dismissive, she doesn't seem to take the hint. I usually try to act polite to everyone I meet(even her), but she doesn't stop pestering me. Is there a definite way to tell her to back off? I've already told her that I'm not interested and that I don't want her as a friend on facebook. Haven't worked so far.
[QUOTE=ewitwins;35075646]So, I had a startling realization tonight. There is this girl that I've been friends with since freshman year of highschool that goes to University recently. We went to prom together out of convenience more than anything else, and because one of our friends were in town today we all went out to dinner. Out of the fucking blue, my brain decides to develop an acute case of "Hey it's my fri-HOLYSHIT she's cute lets ditch all mental abilities". Now I can't hang out with her without getting all googoo-eyed. What do?[/QUOTE] Well, that is good. Try to approach her or ask her if she is somewhat interested in you. Depends entirly on the girl though. Behave more like a guy who is interested in her than a mere friend. She will notice that.
[QUOTE=ewitwins;35075646]So, I had a startling realization tonight. There is this girl that I've been friends with since freshman year of highschool that goes to University recently. We went to prom together out of convenience more than anything else, and because one of our friends were in town today we all went out to dinner. Out of the fucking blue, my brain decides to develop an acute case of "Hey it's my fri-HOLYSHIT she's cute lets ditch all mental abilities". Now I can't hang out with her without getting all googoo-eyed. What do?[/QUOTE] Try your best. [editline]10th March 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Thaard;35075837]So, I'm taking this job-course to improve my chances for getting a better job(learning to write better CV's, practicing interviews and that sort of stuff). There's this crazy girl there, around my age, who seems to like me, but I don't quite feel the same for her(quite being an understatement). She has a criminal background(she did/does drugs, chased a dude around with a box-cutter, most of her family is in jail, and she crashed while drink-driving). She also has no social antennas and blurts out every word she thinks of. Like which sex-positions she likes the most, pulling out condoms of her purse, how many guys she's slept with, her criminal background, what drugs she's used and more nasty stuff that I won't go into. My main problem is that, even if I'm acting dismissive, she doesn't seem to take the hint. I usually try to act polite to everyone I meet(even her), but she doesn't stop pestering me. Is there a definite way to tell her to back off? I've already told her that I'm not interested and that I don't want her as a friend on facebook. Haven't worked so far.[/QUOTE] Haven't worked? How did she react to you showing disinterest? [editline]10th March 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Evilan;35070145]The separation seems to have killed the relationship. Also, why dont you guys call or skype? That really helps a lot of long distance relationships work. Fuck, typing on a tablet while on a bumpy road is hard.[/QUOTE] I think this has got more to do than just the way they communicate... Lack of communication within a relationship would only lead to further arguments, and even a breakup. Insist on why he's acting the way he does and I'm sure you'll get your answer. [editline]10th March 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35067544]i was having lunch with this girl and shes part of this program where she helps the kids with disabilities literally right before i was about to ask her out for saturday night (im not free any other time), the kids all ask her what shes doing over the weekend, and it turns out shes busy on saturday night so i decided not to ask her out since she obviously couldnt do you think that was smart or should i have just asked her out for the next weekend instead?[/QUOTE] If you are in a hurry to date her, then as a general rule, she will lose interest. When one is confident with what he's got to offer, then she most definitively won't run away that quickly from you... Also, blurring out the words "date, Friday" just so she knows you are interested, will most likely cause her to decline when the date arrives. The reason is because you just put yourself out there, waiting for her to decide. So just as with anyone else on the planet, when a person asks you to do something in advance, you most likely will decline when the date comes for a lot of reasons...
[QUOTE=thisispain;35061777]uh are you unaware of when you act like an asshole?[/QUOTE] to be fair, most assholes are
[QUOTE=Seith;35076639] Haven't worked? How did she react to you showing disinterest? [/QUOTE] She said I was mean or something. I think she maybe has some short term memory thing going on, because the next day it seems she has forgotten it..
[QUOTE=Thaard;35077130]She said I was mean or something. I think she maybe has some short term memory thing going on, because the next day it seems she has forgotten it..[/QUOTE] Keep at it, she'll get it eventually.
[QUOTE=Pascall;35045868]So One of the servers at my new job is insanely cute, tall, and smart as hell. He's 19, I think I was gonna ask him for his number today but I was in such a hurry to leave that I forgot. And I probably won't see him til after spring break damn, man Oh well, he's not quitting anytime soon so hopefully I'll get another chance. He seems nice.[/QUOTE] picture i will be the judge of that
Some time in November last year, I made friends with a girl, we started speaking because she gets the same bus to and from school. She told me I was the only one on the bus she liked, because I was the most mature and wasn't talking about sex 24/7. One night we were speaking on Facebook, at the time she had a boyfriend, but he lived very far away, I somehow ended up asking her if the long distance relationship wasn't in the way, would I maybe have a chance of getting with her, and told her that I liked her. Her feelings towards me were mutual- she's very attractive, we share the same interests, and the same taste in music, and she's a nice person in general. Me and her are both quite socially retarded, we could speak all night on facebook chat, but could barely maintain eye contact in real life. We chat pretty much every single day until we go to bed. Skipping ahead about four months, she had broken up with her boyfriend, but about three weeks ago, one of my friends suddenly came into the picture, he told many of my other friends including my best friend about how much he liked her, like he wasn't expecting my best friend to come and tell me. Him and her started getting quite close, he would always steal the seat she would save for me on the bus, and I was eventually just someone sitting in front of them, forcing a smile every time something funny happened between them. One day I got sick of it, and confronted my friend about it, he then told her about what I had said, which resulted in me and her getting into an argument. It had been four months since we had the facebook conversation. I finally became so depressed I ended up just telling her to say she didn't like me anymore, just to clear my mind and put me out of my misery, unexpectedly, she told me exactly that. That very night, after further arguing, we ended up agreeing that we would just be friends. A few days afterwards, after not speaking to the friend that caused the argument in the first place, me and him began speaking. I apolagized to him, even though I didn't feel like I had done anything wrong, and we once again became friends again. Skipping ahead once again, she sits next to me every morning on the way to school, and on the way back, we sometimes bump into eachother around school, and have little chats before going to class, and we mic chat pretty much every night after school on skype. On wednesday, me and her had walked home in the pouring rain, and got completely lost together, and ended up taking a huge ten mile detour, we were all alone, we hugged a few times, she held my hand during some parts of it, and she made me feel like she likes me again. Is this normal? Have I been horribly friendzoned? I haven't been able to sleep, or concentrate in class, and sometimes I've gone a day without eating, because she's on my mind, and I've fallen very hard for her. I really do hope something happens between me and her, because she's very different to other girls, she doesn't wear makeup to school, yet she still looks beautiful, she's very smart, and she has a fucking awesome taste in music. This is probably way too long, apolagies if this is difficult to scroll over.
Hngh went to this "party" last night and was kind of hitting it off with this girl but my friend, who was driving, had to leave because he made movie plans with his other friends. So we left, I was disappointed, and when we finally got to the movie it was sold out, so we all just got awful fast food and drove around for two hours. Still had a great time, haha.
[QUOTE=SubjectPROD;35079009]Some time in November last year, I made friends with a girl, we started speaking because she gets the same bus to and from school. She told me I was the only one on the bus she liked, because I was the most mature and wasn't talking about sex 24/7. One night we were speaking on Facebook, at the time she had a boyfriend, but he lived very far away, I somehow ended up asking her if the long distance relationship wasn't in the way, would I maybe have a chance of getting with her, and told her that I liked her. Her feelings towards me were mutual- she's very attractive, we share the same interests, and the same taste in music, and she's a nice person in general. Me and her are both quite socially retarded, we could speak all night on facebook chat, but could barely maintain eye contact in real life. We chat pretty much every single day until we go to bed. Skipping ahead about four months, she had broken up with her boyfriend, but about three weeks ago, one of my friends suddenly came into the picture, he told many of my other friends including my best friend about how much he liked her, like he wasn't expecting my best friend to come and tell me. Him and her started getting quite close, he would always steal the seat she would save for me on the bus, and I was eventually just someone sitting in front of them, forcing a smile every time something funny happened between them. One day I got sick of it, and confronted my friend about it, he then told her about what I had said, which resulted in me and her getting into an argument. It had been four months since we had the facebook conversation. I finally became so depressed I ended up just telling her to say she didn't like me anymore, just to clear my mind and put me out of my misery, unexpectedly, she told me exactly that. That very night, after further arguing, we ended up agreeing that we would just be friends. A few days afterwards, after not speaking to the friend that caused the argument in the first place, me and him began speaking. I apolagized to him, even though I didn't feel like I had done anything wrong, and we once again became friends again. Skipping ahead once again, she sits next to me every morning on the way to school, and on the way back, we sometimes bump into eachother around school, and have little chats before going to class, and we mic chat pretty much every night after school on skype. On wednesday, me and her had walked home in the pouring rain, and got completely lost together, and ended up taking a huge ten mile detour, we were all alone, we hugged a few times, she held my hand during some parts of it, and she made me feel like she likes me again. Is this normal? Have I been horribly friendzoned? I haven't been able to sleep, or concentrate in class, and sometimes I've gone a day without eating, because she's on my mind, and I've fallen very hard for her. I really do hope something happens between me and her, because she's very different to other girls, she doesn't wear makeup to school, yet she still looks beautiful, she's very smart, and she has a fucking awesome taste in music. This is probably way too long, apolagies if this is difficult to scroll over.[/QUOTE] Sounds like the girl does not really know what to do, she seems confused at the moment.Also you should have talked to your friend earlier that you might want to be with this girl and that he should stay out of it. A real friend would understand. Anyway try fighting for her, those signs of her are pretty clear. This sounds like a fine girl, go for it. I highly encourage you. Also beat up your friend :v: just kidding.
Drunk hands are so infuriating. I was literally, moments away, and then the damn button on her jeans would not cooperate with my hands. So frustrating.
I just had a girl who I have known for a while now text me asking me if I wanted to go to prom with her, naturally I said yes, I was planning on asking her anyways.(Even though I am sure if I ever pulled that shit on a girl it wouldn't work.) I also helped this girl out with school a lot, so I am figuring this is her way of saying thank you.
[QUOTE=Vobra;35083343]I just had a girl who I have known for a while now text me asking me if I wanted to go to prom with her, naturally I said yes, I was planning on asking her anyways.(Even though I am sure if I ever pulled that shit on a girl it wouldn't work.) I had a feeling this girl might of liked me for a while and I just never made any move. I also helped this girl out with school a lot, so I am figuring this is her way of saying thank you.[/QUOTE] Or maybe she genuinely likes you?
-snip-
[QUOTE=SubjectPROD;35079009]Some time in November last year, I made friends with a girl, we started speaking because she gets the same bus to and from school. She told me I was the only one on the bus she liked, because I was the most mature and wasn't talking about sex 24/7. One night we were speaking on Facebook, at the time she had a boyfriend, but he lived very far away, I somehow ended up asking her if the long distance relationship wasn't in the way, would I maybe have a chance of getting with her, and told her that I liked her. Her feelings towards me were mutual- she's very attractive, we share the same interests, and the same taste in music, and she's a nice person in general. Me and her are both quite socially retarded, we could speak all night on facebook chat, but could barely maintain eye contact in real life. We chat pretty much every single day until we go to bed. Skipping ahead about four months, she had broken up with her boyfriend, but about three weeks ago, one of my friends suddenly came into the picture, he told many of my other friends including my best friend about how much he liked her, like he wasn't expecting my best friend to come and tell me. Him and her started getting quite close, he would always steal the seat she would save for me on the bus, and I was eventually just someone sitting in front of them, forcing a smile every time something funny happened between them. One day I got sick of it, and confronted my friend about it, he then told her about what I had said, which resulted in me and her getting into an argument. It had been four months since we had the facebook conversation. I finally became so depressed I ended up just telling her to say she didn't like me anymore, just to clear my mind and put me out of my misery, unexpectedly, she told me exactly that. That very night, after further arguing, we ended up agreeing that we would just be friends. A few days afterwards, after not speaking to the friend that caused the argument in the first place, me and him began speaking. I apolagized to him, even though I didn't feel like I had done anything wrong, and we once again became friends again. Skipping ahead once again, she sits next to me every morning on the way to school, and on the way back, we sometimes bump into eachother around school, and have little chats before going to class, and we mic chat pretty much every night after school on skype. On wednesday, me and her had walked home in the pouring rain, and got completely lost together, and ended up taking a huge ten mile detour, we were all alone, we hugged a few times, she held my hand during some parts of it, and she made me feel like she likes me again. Is this normal? Have I been horribly friendzoned? I haven't been able to sleep, or concentrate in class, and sometimes I've gone a day without eating, because she's on my mind, and I've fallen very hard for her. I really do hope something happens between me and her, because she's very different to other girls, she doesn't wear makeup to school, yet she still looks beautiful, she's very smart, and she has a fucking awesome taste in music. This is probably way too long, apolagies if this is difficult to scroll over.[/QUOTE] From my personal experience, it is a friend zone thing. But I would see what comes of it.
i was at this school concert thing today and during the intermission this girl asked me to sit with her and then all through the show she was clearly flirting me and afterwards she started talking about prom a lot, and it was obvious she wanted me to ask her i dont really want to ask her, but i do like her as a friend and she is a really nice person and all, im not sure what to do [editline]11th March 2012[/editline] but its not like i have too many other options to ask either, i dont really have anyone else particularly in mind
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35087472]i was at this school concert thing today and during the intermission this girl asked me to sit with her and then all through the show she was clearly flirting me and afterwards she started talking about prom a lot, and it was obvious she wanted me to ask her i dont really want to ask her, but i do like her as a friend and she is a really nice person and all, im not sure what to do [editline]11th March 2012[/editline] but its not like i have too many other options to ask either, i dont really have anyone else particularly in mind[/QUOTE] If you just want to stay friends, but want to ask her to prom. You'll have to make sure she knows it's just as friends. I know if someone I liked asked me my hopes would be raised drastically. I have no idea how you could do that, but just make sure you don't give her a sign like that.
gulp i'm pregnant
woahhhhhhh [editline]11th March 2012[/editline] seriously?
For srs? Yay! Or nay!? Fascinating development in Sawah's life.
Seriosly. Just found out today. Haven't had my period since january 20, so I figured I was late enough to take a test. I had one lying around seeing as my period is pretty irregular, so a pregnancy test is something I do every other month, basically, just to be sure. I wasn't expecting it to actually be positive, so I was in shock. It's a bit more devastating than I thought it would be. I'm for abortion and all, but I feel weird about it, seeing as it's my boyfriend and I mixed together in a little to-be creature. I can't have a baby now, though, I've just started uni this year and my parents would be out of their minds if I decided to have a baby now. I'm just finding it all a bit harder to cope with than I would've expected. What makes it even harder is that my boyfriend and I (for fun) made this list of baby names half a year ago or so. Not so fun right now, seeing as we even have a name for the poor thing. I'm so scared that I might regret getting rid of it, because if I wasn't where I was in my life right now, I'd want the baby. My boyfriend is ready to be a dad, and I don't feel like I'll be more ready mentally than I am now in a couple of years. It's just such bad timing. [editline]11th March 2012[/editline] like, i mean, we're looking for a kitten to buy right now we didn't ask for a baby.
[QUOTE=SaWAH;35090521]Seriosly. Just found out today. Haven't had my period since january 20, so I figured I was late enough to take a test. I had one lying around seeing as my period is pretty irregular, so a pregnancy test is something I do every other month, basically, just to be sure. I wasn't expecting it to actually be positive, so I was in shock. It's a bit more devastating than I thought it would be. I'm for abortion and all, but I feel weird about it, seeing as it's my boyfriend and I mixed together in a little to-be creature. I can't have a baby now, though, I've just started uni this year and my parents would be out of their minds if I decided to have a baby now. I'm just finding it all a bit harder to cope with than I would've expected. What makes it even harder is that my boyfriend and I (for fun) made this list of baby names half a year ago or so. Not so fun right now, seeing as we even have a name for the poor thing. I'm so scared that I might regret getting rid of it, because if I wasn't where I was in my life right now, I'd want the baby. My boyfriend is ready to be a dad, and I don't feel like I'll be more ready mentally than I am now in a couple of years. It's just such bad timing. [editline]11th March 2012[/editline] like, i mean, we're looking for a kitten to buy right now we didn't ask for a baby.[/QUOTE] Just remember if you do go through with the abortion its something your going to live with for the rest of your lives (yes he will take it with him aswell even though hes not carrying it) Do you feel you could deal with this. (burden I guess) Either way good luck.
Well honestly, I'd rather deal with the abortion for the rest of my life than to make life harder for me, my partner and for that child. You should do what you want to do, don't let other pressure you into something that you don't want (talk with your partner of course before doing anything).
[QUOTE=SaWAH;35090521]Seriosly. Just found out today. Haven't had my period since january 20, so I figured I was late enough to take a test. I had one lying around seeing as my period is pretty irregular, so a pregnancy test is something I do every other month, basically, just to be sure. I wasn't expecting it to actually be positive, so I was in shock. It's a bit more devastating than I thought it would be. I'm for abortion and all, but I feel weird about it, seeing as it's my boyfriend and I mixed together in a little to-be creature. I can't have a baby now, though, I've just started uni this year and my parents would be out of their minds if I decided to have a baby now. I'm just finding it all a bit harder to cope with than I would've expected. What makes it even harder is that my boyfriend and I (for fun) made this list of baby names half a year ago or so. Not so fun right now, seeing as we even have a name for the poor thing. I'm so scared that I might regret getting rid of it, because if I wasn't where I was in my life right now, I'd want the baby. My boyfriend is ready to be a dad, and I don't feel like I'll be more ready mentally than I am now in a couple of years. It's just such bad timing. [editline]11th March 2012[/editline] like, i mean, we're looking for a kitten to buy right now we didn't ask for a baby.[/QUOTE] You're situation isn't that uncommon, so relax. I'm very pro-life in this matter and I'm not one to support abortions and never was, but, if that's your decision, I'll respect it. After all, Who am I to judge you? It's not the end of the world but your life will change dramatically if you have the baby and it's a huge responsibility. I think you should look at abortion as a last resort and not the easy way out. After all, it's a human life, it has a huge potential and it's yours. Think of the good things that can come out of it too. If you have this baby you'll love him above everything in the world. And that's the pro of being a mommy. You'll establish this strong love connection that you wouldn't have otherwise. That obviously in change of going out at night, movies, cinema. Yeah, the first years are a real pain. Your boyfriend is being supportive and that's very good. As for your parents, you should tell them. Yes, they will flip out, yell maybe, but they are your parents and they are there for you no matter what. And if they love you, they will help you take care of the child. Don't stress. Sometimes our parents can surprise us in a positive way. I think you should tell them before it's too late to make a serious decision because right now you're in panic, you're not thinking straight from the shock. Take a big breath, act like a responsible human being and let your parents know. It's the right thing to do and they'll help you with it. It's not the end of the world. Just don't use abortion as the easy way out. There are other methods and if finally you end up not wanting the baby there are lot's of couples out there who can't have children and would love to adopt. In my opinion I think you should consider it prior to abortion. Good luck to you. Courage!
If you're having the child, you can say goodbye to your studies.
I'm probably not the best to comment on it but you're going to have to deal with it either way. Seems like you've made up your mind and I'm not gonna guilt you, I'd probably do the same. Try not to let it get to you though, you're dealt a bad hand and shit happens, nothing you can do about it. Or not listen to us, we're just randoms on the internet spewing opinions after all, doesn't worry me.
[QUOTE=Thaard;35091476]If you're having the child, you can say goodbye to your studies.[/QUOTE] This exactly is the main issue. My mother had children at a very young age, and ended up quitting her studies. She was going to be an engineer, but ended up becoming a teacher, something she quite clearly isn't really that fond of. Not really keen on ending up in that situation. This is also why my parents wouldn't like it one bit. It's not because they think I'm too young, it's because they worry that my life will turn out as my mother's did.
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