• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
How could you even get pregnant? Anyway that is really a though choice. You should really talk to all the people that you care of the most and think deeply about it. Studies are important, raising a child in poor conditions is no piece of cake.
[QUOTE=junker|154;35092090]How could you even get pregnant? Anyway that is really a though choice. You should really talk to all the people that you care of the most and think deeply about it. Studies are important, raising a child in poor conditions is no piece of cake.[/QUOTE] Its something called sex, i think.
There is something called birth control.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;35091437]Just don't use abortion as the easy way out.[/QUOTE] abortion is not "the easy way out" what the fuck are you saying hmm yes adoption is such a brilliant idea, it's not like she has to go through a further ~8 months of pregnancy and then birth and attachment to her offspring, not to mention the social stigma of being pregnant at her age, only to give away her child which she has bonded with JUST enough to feel depression when it's given away and grows up without her [url]http://www.livestrong.com/article/74035-effects-adoption-birth-mothers/[/url] [editline]11th March 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Godline;35090574]Just remember if you do go through with the abortion its something your going to live with for the rest of your lives (yes he will take it with him aswell even though hes not carrying it) Do you feel you could deal with this. (burden I guess) Either way good luck.[/QUOTE] you know what's more of a burden than having an abortion? HAVING A FUCKING CHILD
[QUOTE=SaWAH;35091740]This exactly is the main issue. My mother had children at a very young age, and ended up quitting her studies. She was going to be an engineer, but ended up becoming a teacher, something she quite clearly isn't really that fond of. Not really keen on ending up in that situation. This is also why my parents wouldn't like it one bit. It's not because they think I'm too young, it's because they worry that my life will turn out as my mother's did.[/QUOTE] Yeah, you see it everywhere. Young mothers who have gotten a child around 16-18, and then quitting the studies, because the baby takes up all your time and energy. Many times they split up with their spouses too. Most of these mothers end up as unemployed or getting some low-paid menial jobs. It's really tragic, but if you wan't to have a happy kid and a good family life, you have to wait until you can get some stability at least.
I cannot believe what I'm reading!
i think this discussion could go downhill very very quickly... so i'm just gonna say, Sawah, i know you'll put a lot of thought into whatever you decide, and not just make a quick decision that lacks judgement. whatever you choose it probably won't be easy, but it's obviously something that needs dealing with, and i personally respect whatever decision you do make. i don't really think this is the right place for regular members to get into all sorts of pro-life/pro-choice, young mothers end up ____ arguments.
yeah, okay. it is a bad idea.
I said most, not ALL young mothers. The choice is hers though.
pls abort, for the sake of yourself your boyfriend and the baby.
Hoooly shit Sawah. I sincerely wish you all the best with whatever decision you come to. Not that I'm in any position to say, but I would probably do the same thing in your situation (or rather, encourage the girl to). How would your parents react if you told them you were pregnant and considering an abortion? I imagine they could help a lot in terms of supporting you through it, but I can also understand if you'd prefer to keep it from them entirely, especially considering your mother's own experience. Either way, I'm sure your boyfriend will be similarly supportive with whatever you decide to do. All the best, really.
Oh and not to sound like an ass or anything, but I think you should decide soon if you want to keep it or abort it. It will just get more troublesome and complicated if you drag it for too long.
If she drags it to long, there won't be an abortion.
(you can have an abortion up until the 24th week)
But it's not just legal wise, I was thinking emotional bonding as well, if her "motherly" instincts kick in it may be tough for her to decide (more than it is already).
well i'm pretty sure she's well aware of this, and i'd imagine it's the single most important thing she's thinking about right now, so you don't need to "remind" her of anything
[QUOTE=Autumn;35092896](you can have an abortion up until the 24th week)[/QUOTE] Oh I did not know that, thanks for the information.
[QUOTE=Turnips5;35092213]abortion is not "the easy way out" what the fuck are you saying hmm yes adoption is such a brilliant idea, it's not like she has to go through a further ~8 months of pregnancy and then birth and attachment to her offspring, not to mention the social stigma of being pregnant at her age, only to give away her child which she has bonded with JUST enough to feel depression when it's given away and grows up without her [url]http://www.livestrong.com/article/74035-effects-adoption-birth-mothers/[/url] [editline]11th March 2012[/editline] you know what's more of a burden than having an abortion? HAVING A FUCKING CHILD[/QUOTE] Sure. Cause it's just an pretty ethical thing to do to kill a life without second thought just because you don't want a burden in your life. I'm not against abortion, that's for people to decide based on their consciousness. What I find completely disgusting is using abortion to skip your responsibilities so you can keep on living the way you are. Obviously this is not saWAH, I'm just telling her to think it through. Not having a baby just because it's a social stigma to be pregnant at young age? So fucking what? Who are others to criticize that? I think having a baby is a pretty responsible thing to do regardless of what people say. And it's not like it's the end of your studies. That's total bullshit. Of course it will be harder, but you have your parents to back you up and her boyfriends parents too whether saWAH decides to have the baby or not. Just don't act like "Hey, it's gonna ruin your social and work life so you better throw it away" like it's some object. It's a fucking human being, for fuck's sake! And there are lots of contraceptives today, abortion is not a contraceptive and should not be seen as one. It requires a lot of conscious awareness and deep thought. I'm still sticking with my original opinion. I think saWAH should do what she finds best for everybody involved in this and should think of the life inside her as a human life. (witch no doubt she does), but first she should tell her parents because they will help her find a solution. Parents may yell, scream, call you everything, but at the end of the day they love you and want what's best for you. They will help. I know a friend of mine who had about 22 years old. She was studying in my university and had a baby. Yeah, the first months she didn't go there because of the baby, but her parent's and the father's parents helped taking care of the baby while she was studying. Yeah, she got late in the university but she finished it now. [B]saWAH:[/B] It doesn't necessarily ruin your studies. I'm not saying "Hey, you were careless, now you have to have the baby!". No, just decide what to do AFTER you talk to your parents and see all available options. If they help you, good, you'll feel safer, if not, well, you did all you could and should decide for yourself. You still have time and I'm certain you will have lots of people supporting you through this tough time. I'm just saying this because I was once in your situation. I'm studying too and I was careless once and got someone pregnant. I didn't tell my parents either. The only thing is I never rushed into saying "go do the abortion" and leave the problem behind. It's something to think of carefuly. I'm not 100% pro-abortion, but my girlfriend at the time decided it was the best option. I respected the decision. Thing is, I wasn't in a serious relationship when that happened, you are. You should seek council near your loved ones. It's for the best. Whatever you decide. I'll show my support!
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;35093106]Sure. Cause it's just an pretty ethical thing to do to kill a life without second thought just because you don't want a burden in your life. I'm not against abortion, that's for people to decide based on their consciousness. What I find completely disgusting is using abortion to skip your responsibilities so you can keep on living the way you are. Obviously this is not saWAH, I'm just telling her to think it through. Not having a baby just because it's a social stigma to be pregnant at young age? So fucking what? Who are others to criticize that? I think having a baby is a pretty responsible thing to do regardless of what people say. And it's not like it's the end of your studies. That's total bullshit. Of course it will be harder, but you have your parents to back you up and her boyfriends parents too whether saWAH decides to have the baby or not. Just don't act like "Hey, it's gonna ruin your social and work life so you better throw it away" like it's some object. It's a fucking human being, for fuck's sake! And there are lots of contraceptives today, abortion is not a contraceptive and should not be seen as one. It requires a lot of conscious awareness and deep thought. I'm still sticking with my original opinion. I think saWAH should do what she finds best for everybody involved in this and should think of the life inside her as a human life. (witch no doubt she does), but first she should tell her parents because they will help her find a solution. Parents may yell, scream, call you everything, but at the end of the day they love you and want what's best for you. They will help. I know a friend of mine who had about 22 years old. She was studying in my university and had a baby. Yeah, the first months she didn't go there because of the baby, but her parent's and the father's parents helped taking care of the baby while she was studying. Yeah, she got late in the university but she finished it now. [B]saWAH:[/B] It doesn't necessarily ruin your studies. I'm not saying "Hey, you were careless, now you have to have the baby!". No, just decide what to do AFTER you talk to your parents and see all available options. If they help you, good, you'll feel safer, if not, well, you did all you could and should decide for yourself. You still have time and I'm certain you will have lots of people supporting you through this tough time. I'm just saying this because I was once in your situation. I'm studying too and I was careless once and got someone pregnant. I didn't tell my parents either. The only thing is I never rushed into saying "go do the abortion" and leave the problem behind. It's something to think of carefuly. I'm not 100% pro-abortion, but my girlfriend at the time decided it was the best option. I respected the decision. Thing is, I wasn't in a serious relationship when that happened, you are. You should seek council near your loved ones. It's for the best. Whatever you decide. I'll show my support![/QUOTE] I don't really get why you want her to have a baby while she's studying and is at a young age. I don't think she wants to stay inside with a baby, when she's still a youth. It's a time for partying, experimentation, having fun. Not staying inside with a screaming baby waking up at 4 at night, and change diapers. Also, you call it a social stigma. Why the fuck are there increasing numbers of young women getting pregnant? If it was such a stigma, fewer and fewer would have a baby in the first place. Having an actual abortion is more stigma! Did you also know that the synapses begin forming after 17 weeks of pregnancy? That means that the fetus doesn't have a conscience. Also, compare your so-called success-story with the hundreds of thousands of young mothers who had their youth taken away, because they decided to have a baby. Their partners left them, the family can't take care of the baby all the time.
guys, this is not really the time nor place
It depends really on the personal view though, my grandmother had her first child with 20. She was so young but still enjoyed raising kids. Although she was already married at that point and my grandfather served in the Army. Nowadays she sometimes regrets that she was unable to study, but she would never change the course of events if she could relive her life. Although forget what I was saying, my grandmother expected the child and already had a somewhat stable life. Sawah is not so lucky.
of course nobody [i]likes[/i] abortion, but sometimes its necessary
unfortunate situation. her choice. hope you're okay sawah.
[QUOTE=Thaard;35093568]I don't really get why you want her to have a baby while she's studying and is at a young age. I don't think she wants to stay inside with a baby, when she's still a youth. It's a time for partying, experimentation, having fun. Not staying inside with a screaming baby waking up at 4 at night, and change diapers. Also, you call it a social stigma. Why the fuck are there increasing numbers of young women getting pregnant? If it was such a stigma, fewer and fewer would have a baby in the first place. Having an actual abortion is more stigma! Did you also know that the synapses begin forming after 17 weeks of pregnancy? That means that the fetus doesn't have a conscience. Also, compare your so-called success-story with the hundreds of thousands of young mothers who had their youth taken away, because they decided to have a baby. Their partners left them, the family can't take care of the baby all the time.[/QUOTE] You don't understand where I'm getting at with this. speaking of the pros and options of having the baby doesn't mean I'm saying she should have it. I'm just belying such arguments as "it will ruin your life". It will surely make a lot of things go away but it will replace them with other good things too. This doesn't mean that I'm all "You should have the baby". That's up to saWAH to decide. I'm not telling her that she should have the baby. I'm just telling her to talk to her family first before she does anything. Whether she has it or not it's up to her. I think talking to her parents would give her more perspective and evaluate her options best instead of rushing to an abortion. Abortions aren't that easy for women. It can sometimes get you down psychologically and some of you are telling her to do it as if it was the easiest thing to do. It's not, it can be pretty devastating if you don't have the support of your loved ones. And that's why I think saWAH should consult her parents before doing anything. They went through the experience, so they'll know how to give good council and support her in whatever decision she'll make. That's all I think on the matter. I'm just saying she should be cautious in her decisions to avoid any regrets and emotional breakdowns.
both of you, stop. if you want to continue this discussion then feel free to take it to PMs or find somewhere suitable in Mass Debate to start up. but stop posting about it in this thread.
Do you love me
To be honest I think the social advice thread should be exclusive to lesser social situations. Posting extremely important decisions here is a bad idea because everyone has an opinion and it just breaks down into a shitfest, which will end up just confusing the person who asked the question. Instead of helping them we make the matters worse, while on simple topics like "oh where should I take this date to" we generally can supply a pretty agreed upon answer. Even worse is that a majority of us are males so we can never truly view something like this properly, we can sympathize but we can not have true empathy. I think much like the FULS thread we should make a list of people who can be pmed for the big decisions that could possibly cause issues in the thread. If this goes through, then I will make the first nomination of Autumn, since we need a woman's perspective on issues, vote agree for yes and disagree for no.
[QUOTE=1chains1;35094200]To be honest I think the social advice thread should be exclusive to lesser social situations. Posting extremely important decisions here is a bad idea because everyone has an opinion and it just breaks down into a shitfest, which will end up just confusing the person who asked the question. Instead of helping them we make the matters worse, while on simple topics like "oh where should I take this date to" we generally can supply a pretty agreed upon answer. Even worse is that a majority of us are males so we can never truly view something like this properly, we can sympathize but we can not have true empathy. I think much like the FULS thread we should make a list of people who can be pmed for the big decisions that could possibly cause issues in the thread. If this goes through, then I will make the first nomination of Autumn, since we need a woman's perspective on issues, vote agree for yes and disagree for no.[/QUOTE] I think the variety in the comments is important, as it shows both sides of the spectrum. Also, how is sympathy a key in giving good advice? Isn't the objectivity of the people of the web is what makes these advises so valuable? If it's common answers they are looking for, then by all means they should just use Yahoo Answers.
why are you shying away from giving advice on large decisions? sawahs not a complete idiot, she's not going to go 100% with what this thread tells her unless she actually agrees that its a good idea theres no need to censor yourself just because this decision might have a larger impact than normal and the list idea sounds really dumb to me
The last thing Sawah needs is advice from a bunch of young single people on an internet forum about abortion. Seriously, talk to your parents, to doctors and more experienced people. (I doubt any of you are actually parents, which does change your perspective on this stuff a lot) [editline]11th March 2012[/editline] Plus it seems like most of you are seeing Behemoth as 'pro life' and immediately just rating him dumbs, he is making good points and you should respect a different opinion to your own.
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