• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=LazyBoy;35120159]um if you're already dating her then sure?[/QUOTE] I am. We've been spending a lot of time together recently.
Make a physical move if you haven't and it should be pretty much final
Just in case I am being misunderstood, what I mean is to figure out if she is interested in a relationship. All signs point towards that she is. Because long ago I did say "Can I take you out a date" and she even asked me why I am interested in her (After a few dates) and after all of that we are still hanging out quite often so I doubt she is just thinking of me as a friend.
[QUOTE=CommanderPT;35121046]Just in case I am being misunderstood, what I mean is to figure out if she is interested in a relationship. All signs point towards that she is. Because long ago I did say "Can I take you out a date" and she even asked me why I am interested in her (After a few dates) and after all of that we are still hanging out quite often so I doubt she is just thinking of me as a friend.[/QUOTE] Well, have you been on a date? If it's not clear to her that you're interested, you might just be picking up the wrong signs. I have a lot of girl friends that act pretty much the same way, minus the "I've asked her on a date" part. Just make it clear to her that you're interested in more than being friends, otherwise you might not get the message across.
[QUOTE=CommanderPT;35121046]Just in case I am being misunderstood, what I mean is to figure out if she is interested in a relationship. All signs point towards that she is. Because long ago I did say "Can I take you out a date" and she even asked me why I am interested in her (After a few dates) and after all of that we are still hanging out quite often so I doubt she is just thinking of me as a friend.[/QUOTE] You're looking into it way too much, just make a move. Hold her hand or something.
[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;35121444]Well, have you been on a date? If it's not clear to her that you're interested, you might just be picking up the wrong signs. I have a lot of girl friends that act pretty much the same way, minus the "I've asked her on a date" part. Just make it clear to her that you're interested in more than being friends, otherwise you might not get the message across.[/QUOTE] We have been on several. Sometimes she proposes an activity and whatnot as well. Like I said, she asked me why I was interested since she thinks that she isn't much to be interested in. So I explained and when I did she got a big smile on her face. [QUOTE=Lukeo;35121491]You're looking into it way too much, just make a move. Hold her hand or something.[/QUOTE] You are right about that. First time that I asked a girl out so my brain is not 100% operational. I'll just do it next time I go out with her, might as well, instead of going on for too long.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;35119041]seith i don't really feel you are qualified to give us a "regular joe's" perspective[/QUOTE] I was one in the past.
Seiths a regular Joe? More like a regular Yousouf [sp]get it cause he's from israel and yousouf is an israeli name[/sp]
[QUOTE=CommanderPT;35121894]We have been on several. Sometimes she proposes an activity and whatnot as well. Like I said, she asked me why I was interested since she thinks that she isn't much to be interested in. So I explained and when I did she got a big smile on her face. You are right about that. First time that I asked a girl out so my brain is not 100% operational. I'll just do it next time I go out with her, might as well, instead of going on for too long.[/QUOTE] Then by all means go for it. And don't think much about the "first time", it'll come natural when you're in the process, really.
Do you think its immature/unreasonable for me to get annoyed when my girlfriend mentions her ex? Especially about what they did in the bedroom? And another thing... do you think its bad that I don't like having nothing to compare this relationship to?
[QUOTE=Mort and Charon;35124204]Do you think its immature/unreasonable for me to get annoyed when my girlfriend mentions her ex? Especially about what they did in the bedroom? And another thing... do you think its bad that I don't like having nothing to compare this relationship to?[/QUOTE] My girlfriend only ever mentioned what she did with her ex once. It would get incredibly annoying/wouldn't want to hear it if she was talking about it all the time but - I get the impression from your previous posts that your girlfriend's ex was kind of an asshole, so maybe she's just venting. I don't like having anything to compare this relationship to either, but I'd have said it was pretty good.
[QUOTE=Mort and Charon;35124204]Do you think its immature/unreasonable for me to get annoyed when my girlfriend mentions her ex? Especially about what they did in the bedroom? And another thing... do you think its bad that I don't like having nothing to compare this relationship to?[/QUOTE] i think it's fairly understandable. i know i certainly wouldn't want my boyfriend to start talking to be me about whatever he and his ex got up too. i think if it's just an occasional passing comment then don't think anything of it, as the ex was a part of your girlfriends life before you were around... but if she bring it up more regularly or in more depth then you should just politely ask her if she thinks you're the right person to be talking to about him.
She doesn't do it all the time, occasionally she will. But I've said in the past, ok, neither of us will mention him unless he contacts her (I've asked a couple of questions.... regretted them, didn't like the answers tbh). But today she ended up telling me about how she told a couple of friends about him and what they did as well as what we've done. I don't mind about her telling them about us, but I was pissed off she mentioned him and their sex life to me after I specifically said not too. And then she had to go and talk about another prick who used her at the end of her last relationship and how they're still chatting... when she knows I don't like the guy anyway, and especially how he treated her.
then just tell her you don't want to hear it, simple as! [editline]13th March 2012[/editline] i wouldn't want to hear it, and i'd make sure they knew that
I've told her that, and I did before. She just has a habit of saying before thinking. Just wanted to know if I was being unreasonable/immature about it.
Is it crass to be "talking" to multiple girls at once? I've heard it's pretty frowned upon but I don't see the trouble.
I need some advice on this situation that I am currently in with this girl. So I moved away from home for my studies, I met a couple of new people and we all go along pretty well. During that time I met a girl, she's from Italy and her name is Julia. Anyway we started talking a lot and meeting eachother more often, at first it was a group thing where our gang did something together. But lately we did a lot of stuff together, only us two. At first I was not so interested in her, but after now 2 months I am quite attracted to her. The thing is that she gives me mixed signs which makes me a bit unsure and I do not want to fuck up anything yet. So we both meet up a lot, cook together. Go out for some drinks, only talk or sometimes just walk around the city, we also dance quite a bit. But she seems to be a girl that hangs out with guys, but I noticed that she spends more time with me than anyone else. So that has to be a postive sign. Well, we have become really great friends and she told me tons of stuff about her life, including secrets and all that jazz. So did I. Actually we talked a lot about our past relationship. She also mentions that she was not in a serious relationship for a long time now and that she longs for one.At times I think that she considers me as a really good friend, she once told me that she was annoyed that every guy with whom she was friends with was interested in her in a sexual way. That made me suspicious, maybe she only sees me as a good friend, like I mentioned. But when we are together she really leans onto me and touches me quite a lot, in a way that feels more than just friends. There is just a feel to it. She also slept a few times at my place, she sleeps half-naked next to me and holds onto me. I tried to pull myself together and not try to seduce her. She stated later that she was impressed that I did not make a move. She hangs around me a lot, more than just friends. A lot of my friends even asked if we were together. Recently I felt so tremendously attracted to her and wanted to make a move, although there are still some other signs that make me suspicious. But I cannot hold any longer, I need to kiss her. Any advice ? It is really difficult to fully describe the situation.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;35126399]Is it crass to be "talking" to multiple girls at once? I've heard it's pretty frowned upon but I don't see the trouble.[/QUOTE] my friend says that "talking" to multiple girls is his way of not getting infatuated with any one in particular
Morality check: I reconnected with an ex-girlfriend the other night, and we did snog most heavily. Having retained at least some sense of propriety, despite the obscene amount of whiskey in my system, I stayed the shagging, rescheduling for a night that would be a bit more appropriate. She's coming over tomorrow night, presumably to get right back to business. Thing is, now sobered, I realize that I don't necessarily want to open old doors with her. I'd definitely like to sleep with her, but the relationship was nipped for a reason. Being a little bit too chivalrous to use her and lose her, I've got a moral concern! We're both hip to shag, but: a) I don't want a relationship b) I get the impression that she [I]does[/I] want a relationship but c) I don't know whether or not she'd be offended if I proposed we have some "just friends" sex. Here are my options, as I see them: 1) Imply that I'm interested in dating again so that I can get with her, then end our relationship shortly after, breaking her heart and feeling bad about myself for using her. 2) Talk to her before the shagacity commences, and make sure we're both on the same page as far as this being a casual fling goes, and thus risk offending her and not scoring, but at the very least avoiding the guilt of misleading her. 3) "Postpone" the whole shebang, and then slowly ween her out of my life without ever again rescheduling it, thus avoiding directly offending her [I]and[/I] sparing my conscience, but also eliminating all chance of punani while simultaneously making myself look like a pussy. None of these seem like great options! I guess talking to her about it would be the most ethical solution, but is there any nice way to say, "I'm only interested in sleeping with you," or am I kind of a dirtball for having that thought at all?
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35127645]1) Imply that I'm interested in dating again so that I can get with her, then end our relationship shortly after, breaking her heart and feeling bad about myself for using her.[/quote] yeah you don't need us to tell you not to do that [quote]2) Talk to her before the shagacity commences, and make sure we're both on the same page as far as this being a casual fling goes, and thus risk offending her and not scoring, but at the very least avoiding the guilt of misleading her.[/quote] I think this is the best option. And when you say "before the shagacity", it should be [I]well[/I] before. just be completely straight with her. you're not a dirtball for having the thought, you're only a dirtball if you carry it out. also I have missed your posts in here D:
Haha, you shit! Apparently she was expecting something a little bit more serious than what I had in mind! "Are we having casual sex tomorrow? Report it like a weatherman." "I don't know whether to take that as a joke or not, but no, I generally don't have sex with people that I haven't talked to in two years!" "That wasn't anything like a weatherman." "Tomorrow, there will be a 90% chance that I will never hangout with you again." "What's the other 10%?" "Small chance of hail." "Oh. I'll remember my umbrella, then." "Ugh, you're such an asshole." C'est la vie!
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35128257]C'est la vie![/QUOTE] that sucks ass, not even kidding, but it's for the best - it could have been so much worse if you'd used her, and now your conscience is completely clear. also, you're the opposite of an asshole for being open about it. you did the right thing. [editline]14th March 2012[/editline] I'd buy you the electronic equivalent of a beer or something
Cursed for being an honest man with a weird sense of humor. Woe! Woe!
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35128931]Cursed for being an honest man with a weird sense of humor. Woe! Woe![/QUOTE] I know that feel. It's not in my moral fiber to lie. I don't like it. Even little lies. The weird sense of humor can be a bit of a plus, but it's usually hit or miss.
'K, well if you ever want to hang out without expecting to have sex, then let me know. Otherwise, you're lame." "Are 'expecting' and 'hoping for' the same thing?" "I should say so." "Oh. That might be hard for me. I'm always hoping for sex." I don't know if I avoided offending her, and I'm definitely not getting laid tomorrow, but at least it's pretty funny. [editline]13th March 2012[/editline] There's a stunningly beautiful bald girl at the coffeeshop down the street. She's got a body that makes my legs weak, and her baldness, for reasons I don't entirely understand, only makes her seem more exotic. I talked to her a bit the other day, and she seems fun, smart, and carefree. My kind of lady! I'm going to learn her name and find out if she's single tomorrow, to recover morale.
big dumb american what the hell kind of conversation is that
that was classic movie star panache you showed there, bda, i just think she took it a little too seriously. was this is a textual conversation? if so that could be the problem. it seemed disarming enough but people take things so seriously in text/IM
[QUOTE=thisispain;35129181]big dumb american what the hell kind of conversation is that[/QUOTE] We had kind of a strange relationship! [editline]13th March 2012[/editline] On a shag-free note, I filled tomorrow's empty social slot with a girl I used to be friends with in high school. I'm not planning on it going anywhere, I'm just looking forward to catching up with an old friend. We'll have a few drinks, chit chat, maybe play some scrabble. Everybody loves scrabble.
i didn't know you were such a shag-fiend
[QUOTE=Protocol7;35128987]It's not in my moral fiber to lie. I don't like it. Even little lies.[/QUOTE] I'm just plain bad at lying. I've learnt not to do it for my own good.
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