The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
What up
I left for Air Force basic training a couple months ago, now I'm in my dorm in Keesler AFB, Mississippi for tech school. How's it been, LA?
[QUOTE=junker|154;35127330]I need some advice on this situation that I am currently in with this girl.
So I moved away from home for my studies, I met a couple of new people and we all go along pretty well. During that time I met a girl, she's from Italy and her name is Julia. Anyway we started talking a lot and meeting eachother more often, at first it was a group thing where our gang did something together. But lately we did a lot of stuff together, only us two. At first I was not so interested in her, but after now 2 months I am quite attracted to her. The thing is that she gives me mixed signs which makes me a bit unsure and I do not want to fuck up anything yet.
So we both meet up a lot, cook together. Go out for some drinks, only talk or sometimes just walk around the city, we also dance quite a bit. But she seems to be a girl that hangs out with guys, but I noticed that she spends more time with me than anyone else. So that has to be a postive sign. Well, we have become really great friends and she told me tons of stuff about her life, including secrets and all that jazz. So did I. Actually we talked a lot about our past relationship. She also mentions that she was not in a serious relationship for a long time now and that she longs for one.At times I think that she considers me as a really good friend, she once told me that she was annoyed that every guy with whom she was friends with was interested in her in a sexual way. That made me suspicious, maybe she only sees me as a good friend, like I mentioned.
But when we are together she really leans onto me and touches me quite a lot, in a way that feels more than just friends. There is just a feel to it. She also slept a few times at my place, she sleeps half-naked next to me and holds onto me. I tried to pull myself together and not try to seduce her. She stated later that she was impressed that I did not make a move. She hangs around me a lot, more than just friends. A lot of my friends even asked if we were together.
Recently I felt so tremendously attracted to her and wanted to make a move, although there are still some other signs that make me suspicious. But I cannot hold any longer, I need to kiss her. Any advice ? It is really difficult to fully describe the situation.[/QUOTE]
Well, I say to just go for it. It [B][I][U]seems[/U][/I][/B] like she's trying to hint at wanting a relationship, and you can't really know for sure until you reciprocate a little bit and see where it goes.
I mean, I'm not the person to ask about this, but I would say to just try it. If it winds up going south, I think she'll understand if you explain your actions to her the way you explained her apparent interest to us.
I'm on break now, but I think I've been doing alright. Almost every day before classes I've been having breakfast with the girl I mentioned a while back, and it has really been brightening my mornings.
Honestly, I've really enjoyed getting to know her bit by bit, and having her as a friend is just excellent.
Yesterday I asked my crush out on a movie on friday. She said that she might be busy. Then I started worrying about is it her being busy for real or just "busy".
Later yesterday I found out it was her being busy for real and was I relieved.
Today I'm going to talk with her about how her friday evening (after she has come back from her workout) or how saturday would seem like.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;35126399]Is it crass to be "talking" to multiple girls at once? I've heard it's pretty frowned upon but I don't see the trouble.[/QUOTE]
It's the other way around. Especially with good looking women.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35130141]What up
I left for Air Force basic training a couple months ago, now I'm in my dorm in Keesler AFB, Mississippi for tech school. How's it been, LA?[/quote]
everything's gone to shit
My chances with that girl got shot down.
Now stuck in the friendzone forever.
So I drank and cried.
I guess I'll be ready to set my view on new land.
Hot Coffee Girl wasn't working today!
[QUOTE=Turnips5;35134713]everything's gone to shit[/QUOTE]
elaborate
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35141850]elaborate[/QUOTE]
have you met seith
(heheh)
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35140555]Hot Coffee Girl wasn't working today![/QUOTE]
Are you some sort of hipster babe magnet or something, BDA?
[QUOTE=thisispain;35141897]have you met seith
(heheh)[/QUOTE]
yeah the israeli maverick who talked too much, he was here when i left. has he de facto taken over or something?
Can't sleep for shit.
But from a positive side it has given me fuel for songwriting. Even tough it might be dumb.
[editline]15th March 2012[/editline]
It's 4 AM soon and I haven't slept at all.
Being highly uppset combined with the coca-cola and alcohol have given a constant need to go pee way too many times.
And why do I think that it would be a good idea to still talk to her about my feelings for her if I get the chance. Because atleast now I feel that letting her go so easily would be just giving up alltogether.
SHIT
i left my friend waiting for me at the mall for 2 hours because my fucking phone couldn't send out one goddamn message
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35142336]yeah the israeli maverick who talked too much, he was here when i left. has he de facto taken over or something?[/QUOTE]
That's like asking if a hypertensive, retarded penguin left in the middle of the gobi desert became the dominant species.
[QUOTE=ewitwins;35142136]Are you some sort of hipster babe magnet or something, BDA?[/QUOTE]
If I were an X-Man, that would be the power I'd want most.
[editline]15th March 2012[/editline]
I bailed on my old high school friend tonight, because I'm very sleepy. I'm going out to lunch with her and her boyfriend tomorrow, instead. I'm looking forward to catching up with her again, but her boyfriend's always given me the willies. He's overweight, balding early, and has an unsettling grin. I'm sure he's a nice guy, I'm just worried that I'll have trouble eating with him sitting across from me. Chewing. Staring. Harassing me with his combover.
[QUOTE=Mon;35144601]SHIT
i left my friend waiting for me at the mall for 2 hours because my fucking phone couldn't send out one goddamn message[/QUOTE]
That's not a horrible place to be stuck at for 2 hours. It's not like you left him/her at a police station all night because you couldn't get there that night to pay bail. Yeah, at least you did not do that.
I got over last nights worries. It's that now I happen to be sick.
And it sucks.
Gonna keep on being good friends with her.
And act like yesterday wasn't much anything at all. Going out to the bar tomorrow to possibly pick up some chick.
[QUOTE=1chains1;35144903]That's like asking if a hypertensive, retarded penguin left in the middle of the gobi desert became the dominant species.[/QUOTE]
I never could imagine you liking me so much.
Welp, taking a girl out for lunch tomorrow. This is pretty much the first time I've actually 'gone out' with someone so this should be interesting.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;35146257]This is pretty much the first time I've actually 'gone out' with someone so this should be interesting.[/QUOTE]
what really?
that's interesting
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;35146257]Welp, taking a girl out for lunch tomorrow. This is pretty much the first time I've actually 'gone out' with someone so this should be interesting.[/QUOTE]
You'll do fine ;)
Yeah, I never really dated my ex before we got together. We were at school at the time as well so it was much easier to see each other etc.
I managed to call my school about being sick. When I just had a hangover (pretty much the same).
Been really productive today working together with a friend of mine.
And the girl?
Well let's say that I will suggest to her that since we are still friends, we could use what happened yesterday for a excuse to start being more open friends.
So, I need some advice, gentlemen. I was dating this guy for the second time, and it just wasn't working out. We never spent any time together, he never wanted to go anywhere with me, sent me a few shock links, I didn't feel the same way about him, etc. It ended and he was pretty understandably pissed about it, I guess.
He started spamming me with 'DESU' on Steam, so I blocked him there, as well as blocking him on my phone. A few days ago, one of my other steam friends messaged me saying he's just passing on the message but that the guy wants to talk to me about the break-up and stuff.
I'm dating someone else and it's been pretty great. I don't think even friendship would work out with him, because we have a record of on-off-again friendship through the past few years. Should I message him this so he can move on? Would just being completely silent be a dick move?
Seems like he's just an immature dick.
the past few days ive been going out and doing stuff with people a lot more than normal
i feel much more sociable, and ive been having a lot of fun
but for some reason i still just feel depressed, even though i never really felt depressed when i sat around playing video games all day
[QUOTE=Penultimate;35149194]So, I need some advice, gentlemen. I was dating this guy for the second time, and it just wasn't working out. We never spent any time together, he never wanted to go anywhere with me, sent me a few shock links, I didn't feel the same way about him, etc. It ended and he was pretty understandably pissed about it, I guess.
He started spamming me with 'DESU' on Steam, so I blocked him there, as well as blocking him on my phone. A few days ago, one of my other steam friends messaged me saying he's just passing on the message but that the guy wants to talk to me about the break-up and stuff.
I'm dating someone else and it's been pretty great. I don't think even friendship would work out with him, because we have a record of on-off-again friendship through the past few years. Should I message him this so he can move on? Would just being completely silent be a dick move?[/QUOTE]
He was an idiot that's for sure but you're already moving on with someone who treats you way better. So yeah, wouldn't hurt to answer him if he ever talks to you. Just don't be too friendly nor too pissed off. Act nice and simple and never go to him.
I say don't message him. It's his interest to talk to you so if he wants something from you he has to ask, that's how you keep your self respect. Don't just act out of curiosity for someone who's been proving to be an idiot. If he wants anything from you he should work for it, not the other way around.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35150671]the past few days ive been going out and doing stuff with people a lot more than normal
i feel much more sociable, and ive been having a lot of fun
but for some reason i still just feel depressed, even though i never really felt depressed when i sat around playing video games all day[/QUOTE]
In the interest of staying relevant to these threads I shall try to help you understand this. A lot of what I'm saying may be wrong to your experiences, but I can say I felt the same way once I started to break out of my social anxiety state.
A lot of what I am saying is based on this, so if I am incorrect in most of what I say here you can feel free to rate me disagree and disregard everything else. You are probably more of a shy guy who prefers to have his friends invite him to do things rather than inviting your friends to go and do stuff with you. You are more on the quiet side and in some situations you tend to fall out of the conversation despite being around your friends. All this exposure to social situations and your friends has been fun while you've been with them, like an escape from your normal life of school>home>video games> homework> sleep.
Somewhere in the back of your mind are some nagging thoughts doubting your confidence when you were hanging around your friends. Some of those thoughts are telling you now that you're missing valuable time hanging out with them while you're in your room playing video games or you might be falling behind on a lot of the conversations they are having. Even more so you are feeling like these fun times might not last as long as you like and intrinsically that is forcing you to go out more and feel depressed while you sit around playing video games. If you are in any way feeling this way it's completely normal to be presented with overexposure and to feel depressed when the exposure ends. It's like bi-polar disorder where you switch from one end of the spectrum to the other without a slowdown of momentum to ease into each mindset. The easiest way to remove that feeling of depression when you are not with your friends is to hang out with them or others more and to invite them to do more things with you even if that activity is video games. Building up exposure helps to reinforce your ego that you are not playing video games because you have nothing to do, but because you want some time to yourself. Which is something completely normal and everyone understands it even if they may be disappointed you cannot be around 24/7.
I hope this makes some sense.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35150671]
but for some reason i still just feel depressed, even though i never really felt depressed when i sat around playing video games all day[/QUOTE]
it's your brain working against you, you'll feel depressed no-matter what if you have a depressive personality.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.