• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=thisispain;35155063]it's your brain working against you, you'll feel depressed no-matter what if you have a depressive personality.[/QUOTE] i have never been depressed before, and im normally a very upbeat person and I get over my periods of sadness quickly, I don't think its a physical depression but i also dont really think evilan has it right I used to take adderall every day, so all I wanted to do was work and be antisocial. it was perfectly understandable why I liked to just go home and do homework and play video games. every so often I'd do stuff with friends but for the most part I was content to keep to myself. Now that im done applying to colleges and stuff i've stopped taking adderall at first I was getting pretty bored just sitting around home, so thats why I started going out more but I really don't think the depression is because I think that there's more going on without me. It feels more like I just want to keep hanging out with people even after they leave, but at the same time I also want to sit around and browse fp or watch seinfeld or something. im conflicted between having fun and doing what I like doing also it definitely has to do partially with the fact that I still havent really gotten a date since a few months ago [editline]15th March 2012[/editline] now that I think about it its actually more of being aggravated than depressed
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35155840]i have never been depressed before, and im normally a very upbeat person and I get over my periods of sadness quickly, I don't think its a physical depression but i also dont really think evilan has it right I used to take adderall every day, so all I wanted to do was work and be antisocial. it was perfectly understandable why I liked to just go home and do homework and play video games. every so often I'd do stuff with friends but for the most part I was content to keep to myself. Now that im done applying to colleges and stuff i've stopped taking adderall at first I was getting pretty bored just sitting around home, so thats why I started going out more but I really don't think the depression is because I think that there's more going on without me. It feels more like I just want to keep hanging out with people even after they leave, but at the same time I also want to sit around and browse fp or watch seinfeld or something. im conflicted between having fun and doing what I like doing also it definitely has to do partially with the fact that I still havent really gotten a date since a few months ago [editline]15th March 2012[/editline] now that I think about it its actually more of being aggravated than depressed[/QUOTE] Wouldn't hurt to consult a counselor or some sort of specialist if it gets in the way of your well-being or your personal satisfaction. Anyways, I'm off to go see Jeff Dunham at the Purple Palace.
Need advice: I'm going to the movies with my might-be-but-not-sure girlfriend as our first date. How would you recommend cuddling up without it being awkward?
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;35158982]might-be-but-not-sure girlfriend[/QUOTE] wat
[QUOTE=JohnnyMo1;35159203]wat[/QUOTE] those girls who hug you on first sight and are very close friends, and yet have never called you 'boyfriend' or vice-versa
Yesterday night was a fucking blast, I was sitting behind this girl in whom I was interested for a few weeks now. I gave her a massage and after a while moved my head towards her and she turned back and we slowly moved closer. Then we had an amazing first kiss.
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;35158982]Need advice: I'm going to the movies with my might-be-but-not-sure girlfriend as our first date. How would you recommend cuddling up without it being awkward?[/QUOTE] with "might be but not sure girlfriend" do you mean your "best friend", because if so i think there is something you're not picking up on.
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;35158982]Need advice: I'm going to the movies with my might-be-but-not-sure girlfriend as our first date. How would you recommend cuddling up without it being awkward?[/QUOTE] 1. If it's a first date she isn't your girlfriend. Don't call her your girlfriend that would be really really weird. 2. Touch her hand in the movie, if she seems comfortable with that, then she may put her head on your shoulder. There's not much else that will happen in a movie theatre, the space is pretty restrictive.
[QUOTE=JohnnyMo1;35159203]wat[/QUOTE] Asked her out, but it's the first date. There's no guarantee there's anything there. Anyways thanks for the advice, that was all I needed.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35150671]the past few days ive been going out and doing stuff with people a lot more than normal i feel much more sociable, and ive been having a lot of fun but for some reason i still just feel depressed, even though i never really felt depressed when i sat around playing video games all day[/QUOTE] Guess Johnny Cash explains it better than anything: [video=youtube;c2fTVnFeErw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2fTVnFeErw[/video]
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35155840]i have never been depressed before, and im normally a very upbeat person and I get over my periods of sadness quickly, I don't think its a physical depression but i also dont really think evilan has it right I used to take adderall every day, so all I wanted to do was work and be antisocial. it was perfectly understandable why I liked to just go home and do homework and play video games. every so often I'd do stuff with friends but for the most part I was content to keep to myself. Now that im done applying to colleges and stuff i've stopped taking adderall at first I was getting pretty bored just sitting around home, so thats why I started going out more but I really don't think the depression is because I think that there's more going on without me. It feels more like I just want to keep hanging out with people even after they leave, but at the same time I also want to sit around and browse fp or watch seinfeld or something. im conflicted between having fun and doing what I like doing also it definitely has to do partially with the fact that I still havent really gotten a date since a few months ago [editline]15th March 2012[/editline] now that I think about it its actually more of being aggravated than depressed[/QUOTE] I take it you're also a high school senior. I'm on the same boat as you are right now (minus the adderall), I've been spending a lot of time with friends out of the house over the past few weeks and I used to spend a lot of my time at home (excluding summers when my older friends came back from college). About a week ago I started feeling just a little depressed again despite being way more social and having made a bunch of new friends, so I thought about what was bothering me. It might be completely different for you, but I realized that throughout high school I've been chasing different girls. Whether or not I was successful, I was still always chasing. Now that college decisions have come back and people are starting to know where they're going to be going in a few months, people really don't want to start new relationships and so I've realized that at this point it's going to be a lot harder to start a relationship when most people are just looking forward to college and not wanting to start anything new. So I realized that I was bothered by the fact that I'm not actually chasing anyone right now and that I wouldn't be for at least a few months, and it took a few days for the idea that it's fine to not be dating/wanting to date a girl at all times. As strange as that sounds, even to me, it was what was bothering me and making me feel depressed.
you should accept that you don't need to be chasing romance all the time to have a great existence
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35166955]you should accept that you don't need to be chasing romance all the time to have a great existence[/QUOTE] pretty much this, after dating this one weird-but-sort-of-attractive girl mostly out of desperation and breaking up with her, I finally realized that I DONT need a girlfriend to be happy. I was single and content for about three weeks then I met this normal, sociable, pretty girl and things are going well.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35166955]you should accept that you don't need to be chasing romance all the time to have a great existence[/QUOTE] this makes sense only after you've had at least one girlfriend though
So. A while back in fall quarter, through my ASL class I met this pretty neat chick. Her name is Amy. But I was content with being friends, as was she. Yet some how, no matter how many times I told my other friends, "No, we're just friends," they managed to glance over that and assume that I actually wanted to be with her in a more intimate manner. This in and of itself is inconsequential to life; I could live with simple jests here and there. However, one of my closer friends, Michael, hooked up with her around, mid January, I think, and they were dating for a while. Everyone was confused. They're like, "Marcus, aren't you mad at Michael? That's your girl isn't it?" And my response was, "No, it is equal part her choice; not to mention, I had no intent before hand." And even Michael was being a fool about it, "Dude, I'm sorry man... but this is awesome." It took a while but I finally managed to have him understand how I have no care for the false sorries ("I'm sorry...but") and even less for his adventures ("this is awesome"). So after a while people are finally coming to the understanding that I don't care. Cool. And then they broke up (which, although Michael and I are close, I have to laugh at this duration of some, two months (though, I have no experience to speak of, but still, a few months)). Alright, so what? Well, I'm friends with them both, and I'll be damned if I pick a side... well, kind of. I have a general rule of "respect for the ladies" which Michael violates horribly when his girlfriends become exes, so I kind of stand up for them, but only in the, "owe them proper respect." [i]Anyway[/i], they've been broken up, for all of two days when Amy and I chill out (like, two days ago). We start out playing some pool, then chill on chairs, and then move to my couch. The whole time we're just talk, chilling. But so slowly she moves closer and closer to my position on the couch. And then eventually she's resting her head on my shoulder; and then we just cuddle. Fairly cozy, I must say. But it seems to have had implications. For both her and me. Later that same night we went to an ASL event, then to a nearby Red Robin (as is custom for this event). Some shit happened there between her and Michael, over the phone. She and I also texted a little bit while we were at Red Robin, but that went no where. When I got home we picked up texting again, a little, but it was mainly me asking about what Michael did. But towards the end the question, "What does this mean," came from the both of us. Yesterday we just chilled. Cool. And last night we did more talking. We explained to each the other what "this" and "means" meant in our own respective views. (The following is exact texts shared, Amy's texts will be [i]italicized[/i]) [quote] "'It': The act of us being on the couch. The act, nothing. But what of the act? Well, for me, it was potential being created. I could see it going somewhere, maybe. But with that maybe, i create all sorts or, "this may be why not." But I don't like any of those. I enjoyed cuddling with you, on the couch. That felt good, and I dare to say, right. And i'd love to go somewhere with that 'good' and hesitant 'right,' but i couldn't; not so soon after you and michael. For both parts you and him. I mean, it's been what, days?" [i] "Oookay. Can we cuddle again soon? 0-0 I know, I'm definitely not saying it should be anything huge, especially not this soon, I just wanted to know. :P Also, I'm not sure if I said this or not, but I felt like we broke up a few weeks ago, when it got bad. That's the only reason it seems like such a quick bounce back into everything. We both saw it coming, I feel like he and I haven't been together for a lot longer than a few days. You know?" [/i] "Nope. I have no clue on how to relate to anything. I have only intuition and readings [b]((Note: This "readings" is a reference to you guys, :D))[/b] to go off of. When you say a "quick bounce back" do you mean from perspectives not your own? I should think we could. But it seems weird to say it like that, i dunno why. But I am curious, what is your "it." [i] "Yes! That's what mean by the quick bounce back. Okay! I want to *-* I think "it" was the cuddling and the implications of it. I mean, I didn't even know what was happening until it happened. So not only was it kind of a super duper surprising thing to be, but, i dunno, i surprised myself, you surprised me. It was confusing. Okay, this part would definitely make more sense in person." [/i] [/quote] That was last night; we proceeded to set aside a time earlier today to talk. She reworded her statement, but I would be damned to remember it (I have horrible memory, even of the same day). And then we awkwardly cuddled in her car. Then she had an engagement so we parted ways. And now here I am. I am not sure what I am looking for, from this post. It may be advice, or your take on it. Or it could have just been a vent. Well, one thing I do want to know of your opinions is this; should I, if the possibility arises, commit to Amy? In an earlier text when Michael informed me of their separation, he quite literally declared her "fair game" and said he'd understand if I did. But he also said that about his last girlfriend (this one out of the blue. "Allowing" Amy at least makes a bit more sense) which was total bullshit, because he was still pretty attached to her. Anything you want to say, I will read it all. TL;DR: too bad. I'd like if you read it, but it is too much for me to summarize any more.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;35167917]So. A while back in fall quarter, through my ASL class I met this pretty neat chick. Her name is Amy. But I was content with being friends, as was she. Yet some how, no matter how many times I told my other friends, "No, we're just friends," they managed to glance over that and assume that I actually wanted to be with her in a more intimate manner. This in and of itself is inconsequential to life; I could live with simple jests here and there. However, one of my closer friends, Michael, hooked up with her around, mid January, I think, and they were dating for a while. Everyone was confused. They're like, "Marcus, aren't you mad at Michael? That's your girl isn't it?" And my response was, "No, it is equal part her choice; not to mention, I had no intent before hand." And even Michael was being a fool about it, "Dude, I'm sorry man... but this is awesome." It took a while but I finally managed to have him understand how I have no care for the false sorries ("I'm sorry...but") and even less for his adventures ("this is awesome"). So after a while people are finally coming to the understanding that I don't care. Cool. And then they broke up (which, although Michael and I are close, I have to laugh at this duration of some, two months (though, I have no experience to speak of, but still, a few months)). Alright, so what? Well, I'm friends with them both, and I'll be damned if I pick a side... well, kind of. I have a general rule of "respect for the ladies" which Michael violates horribly when his girlfriends become exes, so I kind of stand up for them, but only in the, "owe them proper respect." [i]Anyway[/i], they've been broken up, for all of two days when Amy and I chill out (like, two days ago). We start out playing some pool, then chill on chairs, and then move to my couch. The whole time we're just talk, chilling. But so slowly she moves closer and closer to my position on the couch. And then eventually she's resting her head on my shoulder; and then we just cuddle. Fairly cozy, I must say. But it seems to have had implications. For both her and me. Later that same night we went to an ASL event, then to a nearby Red Robin (as is custom for this event). Some shit happened there between her and Michael, over the phone. She and I also texted a little bit while we were at Red Robin, but that went no where. When I got home we picked up texting again, a little, but it was mainly me asking about what Michael did. But towards the end the question, "What does this mean," came from the both of us. Yesterday we just chilled. Cool. And last night we did more talking. We explained to each the other what "this" and "means" meant in our own respective views. (The following is exact texts shared, Amy's texts will be [i]italicized[/i]) That was last night; we proceeded to set aside a time earlier today to talk. She reworded her statement, but I would be damned to remember it (I have horrible memory, even of the same day). And then we awkwardly cuddled in her car. Then she had an engagement so we parted ways. And now here I am. I am not sure what I am looking for, from this post. It may be advice, or your take on it. Or it could have just been a vent. Well, one thing I do want to know of your opinions is this; should I, if the possibility arises, commit to Amy? In an earlier text when Michael informed me of their separation, he quite literally declared her "fair game" and said he'd understand if I did. But he also said that about his last girlfriend (this one out of the blue. "Allowing" Amy at least makes a bit more sense) which was total bullshit, because he was still pretty attached to her. Anything you want to say, I will read it all. TL;DR: too bad. I'd like if you read it, but it is too much for me to summarize any more.[/QUOTE] I don't think it's really a good sign that she's getting all cuddly and stuff with you only 2 days after a breakup. Good for you, but it doesn't seem like a sign of stability. Good luck mate.
You both seem to be drastically over complicating and dramatising things. I'm not sure what half of those messages even mean.
There were more but I deleted all of my texts Thursday noonish. Meaning, missing context. But okay.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;35167917]So. A while back in fall quarter, through my ASL class I met this pretty neat chick. Her name is Amy. But I was content with being friends, as was she. Yet some how, no matter how many times I told my other friends, "No, we're just friends," they managed to glance over that and assume that I actually wanted to be with her in a more intimate manner. This in and of itself is inconsequential to life; I could live with simple jests here and there. However, one of my closer friends, Michael, hooked up with her around, mid January, I think, and they were dating for a while. Everyone was confused. They're like, "Marcus, aren't you mad at Michael? That's your girl isn't it?" And my response was, "No, it is equal part her choice; not to mention, I had no intent before hand." And even Michael was being a fool about it, "Dude, I'm sorry man... but this is awesome." It took a while but I finally managed to have him understand how I have no care for the false sorries ("I'm sorry...but") and even less for his adventures ("this is awesome"). So after a while people are finally coming to the understanding that I don't care. Cool. And then they broke up (which, although Michael and I are close, I have to laugh at this duration of some, two months (though, I have no experience to speak of, but still, a few months)). Alright, so what? Well, I'm friends with them both, and I'll be damned if I pick a side... well, kind of. I have a general rule of "respect for the ladies" which Michael violates horribly when his girlfriends become exes, so I kind of stand up for them, but only in the, "owe them proper respect." [i]Anyway[/i], they've been broken up, for all of two days when Amy and I chill out (like, two days ago). We start out playing some pool, then chill on chairs, and then move to my couch. The whole time we're just talk, chilling. But so slowly she moves closer and closer to my position on the couch. And then eventually she's resting her head on my shoulder; and then we just cuddle. Fairly cozy, I must say. But it seems to have had implications. For both her and me. Later that same night we went to an ASL event, then to a nearby Red Robin (as is custom for this event). Some shit happened there between her and Michael, over the phone. She and I also texted a little bit while we were at Red Robin, but that went no where. When I got home we picked up texting again, a little, but it was mainly me asking about what Michael did. But towards the end the question, "What does this mean," came from the both of us. Yesterday we just chilled. Cool. And last night we did more talking. We explained to each the other what "this" and "means" meant in our own respective views. (The following is exact texts shared, Amy's texts will be [i]italicized[/i]) That was last night; we proceeded to set aside a time earlier today to talk. She reworded her statement, but I would be damned to remember it (I have horrible memory, even of the same day). And then we awkwardly cuddled in her car. Then she had an engagement so we parted ways. And now here I am. I am not sure what I am looking for, from this post. It may be advice, or your take on it. Or it could have just been a vent. Well, one thing I do want to know of your opinions is this; should I, if the possibility arises, commit to Amy? In an earlier text when Michael informed me of their separation, he quite literally declared her "fair game" and said he'd understand if I did. But he also said that about his last girlfriend (this one out of the blue. "Allowing" Amy at least makes a bit more sense) which was total bullshit, because he was still pretty attached to her. Anything you want to say, I will read it all. TL;DR: too bad. I'd like if you read it, but it is too much for me to summarize any more.[/QUOTE] holy shit, are you from the 17th century or something? why are you so awkwardly verbose? those were exact texts you sent her? dear lord. on the other hand, some practical advice: she was talking to you, went out with your friend, now you're her second choice. a fallback. don't be a fallback.
My friends are pretty used to it. I do actually text like that. And occasionally talk like that, but with a very lazy slur and mumble. Okay.
The girl I talked about in the last page. Yesterday we talked about her movie night with her friends today. She suggested if I would tag along. (But I will skip it this time because it's their girls night). So I guess there is still a chance on that front. I'm just gonna let it sail smoothly after her wind. And not really worry about it too much.
Well tonight was quite interesting. After school I rented a tuxedo for prom (tomorrow at our school), and as I was driving back I saw my sister and a friend going to my friends car and they asked me to go watch a movie with them, which I was told was a "date but not a date" with the guy she's taking to prom. Now I'm friends with that guy too, and just from the sound of this I can tell he's not very good at this sort of thing. His one big turnoff is that he talks. A lot. And loudly. I'm pretty sure you could have heard him laughing from across the theater even with the sound of the movie still going. Anyways, the movie ends without anything happening. Back in the lobby, I check my phone only to see I have a text from a different girl who I asked to grab a coffee with after school a few weeks ago (she replied with "maybe" and never followed up, so I assumed she meant "no"), and she's asking me if I'm free tomorrow or on Monday, so I text her back saying I'm free on Monday. Not really sure where that's going but I'll find out tomorrow. Anyways, we start walking back to our cars and the guy tells me that he wants to suggest that we stay a bit longer in the mall across the street from the theater, so I tell him to suggest it to the other people in the group but he got a bit nervous and we were getting closer to the cars so I go ahead and make his suggestion for him. While I'm in the car with my friend and my sister driving to the mall, I let them know that I'm trying to help the guy out a little bit since he's pretty bad with women. I suggested an ice cream place at that mall, but it was closed so we walked around for another few minutes. He told me that he wanted to sit down on some chairs outside and talk for a bit, but I once again told him to just ask them and he started off pretty well when he said "Hey guys..." but went to hell after she replied "Yeah?" and he responded with "...uhhh, never mind." Again, I stepped in and made the suggestion, and she said that she had to be home soon. So he went home and the three of us got some coffee and talked for a bit and that was pretty much the end of the night. Over the next few months I'm going to help this guy out with not being so awkward with women since I think he really needs some guidance right now. On top of everything, I'm going to prom with the girl I was dating a few months ago, but as friends. I can tell that she's been wanting to tell me something for a day or two because she acts in a certain way when she does (the same way she was when she wanted to tell me a slightly embarrassing story on our first date and the same way she was about a week before she told me she didn't want to continue dating), but I have no idea what it could possibly be at this point. Well, my mind has come up with some ideas about it, but I'm not going to let my imagination run wild with them as I'll only be setting myself up for failure if I do. So much shit is happening in such a short amount of time, I'm not used to this!
Everytime I walk down this hallway to school in the morning to go to my locker, i see this couple ALWAYS hugging and smooching. It's so repulsive and unattractive, that it actually makes me feel better about myself for not having a girlfriend.
Sounds like you are in a bad mood :v:
[QUOTE=junker|154;35175220]Sounds like you are in a bad mood :v:[/QUOTE] More like depressed.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;35168461]My friends are pretty used to it. I do actually text like that. And occasionally talk like that, but with a very lazy slur and mumble. Okay.[/QUOTE] stop
[QUOTE=robmaister12;35173448]-The part of your story about your socially awkward friend on the socially awkward date-[/QUOTE] By how you were describing this story, I thought for sure that pocket-spaghetti would have started flying at some point. Is he always like that? Or is it just around girls that he likes (or just girls in general)?
So. I've stopped talking/keeping in touch with some friends this week. Some of them just act childish or just aren't worth keeping in touch with anymore. Some of the people I stopped talking to was because of an argument that made me realize they just weren't worth my time any more. They're stubborn, occasionally arrogant, extremely bias, act like huge silly fanboys at times, and are somehow never ever wrong. I can state my opinion about something and then one of them, or both, tell me how I'm wrong. Don't see how an opinion can be wrong really. I'm just forming a thought of something based off what I already know, have read, and heard from talking to others. But no they can't really accept that and need to inform me on how I'm wrong. I even restate what I'm trying to say to get the point across I'm just sharing my thoughts on something but they don't seem to get that and continue a very pointless argument. I'm not trying to say I'm right about anything. Best part is that they call me arrogant and overly stubborn but I didn't really react to that but just say that they are too at times, I don't see myself as arrogant but I can be stubborn at times but who isn't? In the last argument I called them morons and they act like I'm some kind of devil for using such a word, which was amusing to say the least. But now that I'm done with them and plan on no longer speaking to them I don't have to worry about that anymore. Best part is that somewhere I left a message saying I'm glad I cut off communication with people who I view as childish to only receive a message from one of them calling me predictable and implying I'm a hypocrite for calling other childish. I feel like they proved my point for me when I decided to no longer speak to them. Not sure I can make a TL;DR for this. [editline]17th March 2012[/editline] Am I being childish or something like that here? I mean I do feel better not having to talk with them and have found new friends I enjoy a lot more already.
Can't be the judge of that, when you are being so general. From a general perspective; it's your life do the fuck you want. Friends may come and go, when you decide you found someone you can trust, I'm sure you'll hold on to him / her.
How can I be less general? I'm not the best when it comes to describing things.
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