• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
My friend, Adam, is hopeless. He's totally cool with talking to women, up until the point when you suggest the possibility of romance, then he just shuts the whole thing down. He plays it off like he's just not interested, even when he totally probably is! The guy could definitely be a smooth operator, if he weren't such a colossal pussy! He's athletic, easy-going, and sociable with everybody except romantic interests. I just don't [I]get[/I] it. What a schmuck!
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35227780]My friend, Adam, is hopeless. He's totally cool with talking to women, up until the point when you suggest the possibility of romance, then he just shuts the whole thing down. He plays it off like he's just not interested, even when he totally probably is! The guy could definitely be a smooth operator, if he weren't such a colossal pussy! He's athletic, easy-going, and sociable with everybody except romantic interests. I just don't [I]get[/I] it. What a schmuck![/QUOTE] I just want to say I love the way this post is written. When I read "What a schmuck" I chuckled. Maybe he's happy with the way his life is and doesn't want a major change?
[QUOTE=JenkinsJ;35223745]Eurgh I'm having a crappy night, I've had a pretty alright day - did a presentation and didn't end up looking like too much of a nervous stuttering spazzock, but then this evening I just got the sort of feeling that everything's fucked. Like one of them proper realisation moments: hardly any money, no job and lots of uni deadlines. Then I had this [i]OhmygodWHATamIgoingtodoafteruni[/i] mind explosion that's kept me up til now when I should be asleep, and my social life has become a housemate-stagnation situation again. Rant rant rant rant rant rant, I know. Soz about that![/QUOTE] I'm pretty sure that, like, every college student has moments like this! My two biggest fears: 1) That I picked the completely wrong career field, and that I'll hate being an architect and that I'll be broke and unhappy and stuck forever in this dumb little city, and, as a result, will never get to go on any grand adventures. 2) That I'll never find "that girl," and that I'll never have a family, or that I'll have to settle for some woman I don't really feel a connection to, and end up living in unhappy mediocrity forever and ever. My point is, these are pretty darn common worries! It might not take much of the bite out of them, but knowing that everybody else is feeling about the same way should offer at least a little bit of comfort.
the secret is just not giving a fuck
The only thing I'm really worried about is that I never seem to worry about anything. That's not true. I worry about a lot of things. They're just things that I shouldn't really worry about. The things I [I]don't[/I] worry about probably actually demand some attention. I'm apathetic towards all the wrong subjects!
I'm a film student, so I have no future pretty much. I accepted it and now totally will change my studies to something else.
[QUOTE=Cl0cK;35228402]I'm a film student, so I have no future pretty much. I accepted it and now totally will change my studies to something else.[/QUOTE] have you considered the porn industry
[QUOTE=Cl0cK;35228402]I'm a film student, so I have no future pretty much. I accepted it and now totally will change my studies to something else.[/QUOTE] The film students who stick with it are super serious about it. We have freshmen with budgets up to like ten thousand dollars for just their freshman film project.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35227780]My friend, Adam, is hopeless. He's totally cool with talking to women, up until the point when you suggest the possibility of romance, then he just shuts the whole thing down. He plays it off like he's just not interested, even when he totally probably is! The guy could definitely be a smooth operator, if he weren't such a colossal pussy! He's athletic, easy-going, and sociable with everybody except romantic interests. I just don't [I]get[/I] it. What a schmuck![/QUOTE] I'm kinda the same. Not always, but it happens. Any advice?
[QUOTE=Occlusion;35230218]I'm kinda the same. Not always, but it happens. Any advice?[/QUOTE] BE SOCIAL
[QUOTE=Seith;35230232]BE SOCIAL[/QUOTE] While you're at it be interesting, attractive and successful. All great qualities that can somehow actively be done. I can't think of much helpful, talking about sexual things more openly with them and airing out their anxieties might help. They're probably worried about seeming creepy or doing something particularly offensive as sex is seen as a more sensitive topic, best way to shut that down is expose them to the idea more.
Bah, I finally realized why men drink. Women. Fucking hell, talk about drama. The girl who thinks I'm a liar now thinks so because I accidentally made it look like I'm a liar in a text. She sent a work in progress of her big project. I take a look at it with my phone but since it is hard to read on there I skim through it and a few minutes later I replied with "Great work, I read it through" when clearly I was supposed to say skimmed through. I didn't even realize it until I sent it but it is too late now and whenever I try to explain something she just interrupts me with "Okay let's drop that now! What are you going to do tomorrow?" Anyhow, we didn't say a word to each other today even though we said good bye on good terms yesterday. I'll just leave her alone for the rest of the week since she keeps snapping at me for no reason. She is under pressure from the project and stuff but still. We are talking and she mentions her life goals as an example and I say something along the lines of "Oh, Okay" but she thinks that I was insulting her and yells at me almost because she thought I said something else. The fuck do I know. Outside of school when I've met her she is the most awesome girl I've met but right now she probably hates me. All because of me putting in the word "read" instead of "skimmed". GREAT. It seems like, sometimes she is the way she is right now. But randomly she forgets all of her problems when we talk and becomes the awesome girl that I knew from the start. [editline]21st March 2012[/editline] For the first time in my life, I want to drink. :v: Fuck this drama.
I feel good about myself when I haven't crashed from the whole being friendzoned thing. So I started to follow advice on how to escape it and what I'm doing this weeks friday (which I did mention earlier) is going out with a hot girl (who studies modelling). [editline]21st March 2012[/editline] Not to mention that I could propably take this thing very far if I wanted to. Since her ex is know around her hometown as "Mr. Asshole".
[QUOTE=Devodiere;35230290]While you're at it be interesting, attractive and successful. All great qualities that can somehow actively be done. I can't think of much helpful, talking about sexual things more openly with them and airing out their anxieties might help. They're probably worried about seeming creepy or doing something particularly offensive as sex is seen as a more sensitive topic, best way to shut that down is expose them to the idea more.[/QUOTE] These kind of tips are useless in my eyes. "Avoid this, keep this" results in a robotic, even more anxious person. By "be social" I meant go out, talk to everyone. Moms, women on the street, clerks. Everyone. Make yourself understand you can be interesting. Make mistakes and learn from 'em, it's not any much different than learning how to ride a bike.
[QUOTE=Seith;35230634]These kind of tips are useless in my eyes. "Avoid this, keep this" results in a robotic, even more anxious person. By "be social" I meant go out, talk to everyone. Moms, women on the street, clerks. Everyone. Make yourself understand you can be interesting. Make mistakes and learn from 'em, it's not any much different than learning how to ride a bike.[/QUOTE] And someone will certainly learn how to ride a bike with the simple piece of advice "ride the bike". I suggested facing fears and discussing sex more if they are anxious about it, and gave reasons for my thoughts. If someone is already sociable in normal circumstances, being more sociable in general won't be as helpful, especially with random people.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;35230857]And someone will certainly learn how to ride a bike with the simple piece of advice "ride the bike". I suggested facing fears and discussing sex more if they are anxious about it, and gave reasons for my thoughts. If someone is already sociable in normal circumstances, being more sociable in general won't be as helpful, especially with random people.[/QUOTE] Really? And you know that for a fact? "Being social" is as abstract as god to me. There are tons of ways to interpret "being social". You suggested facing fears by discussing sex? I would suggest him having sex, if he's having issue being comfortable about such a natural thing. If you want a person to be more social, he needs to be more social; talk to people - on the street, everywhere. Now that's facing fears. Have you ever engaged in a conversation with a random person, be it male or female, on the street? In my eyes, the interpretation of "being social" for most people is different than mine. I am extremely social. Being social is part of what I do, and as a person who was and is, social in "normal circumstances" I can tell you it's miles apart from the "being social" I am today and am advocating right now.
your posts are so weird dude
[QUOTE=Rusty100;35231326]your posts are so weird dude[/QUOTE] Coming from you, I'd say you know your stuff.
Seith, no offence but you kinda dissect and analyze things too much and too deep that you make it look like you have a formula for every situation. Things don't work that way.
Just saying, Seith. I spend 99% of my time in downtown Denver. It's a big city, there's a lot of people. And the only people I see talking to everyone is homeless people. It's not about "talking to everyone." If your ulterior motive is talking to women, then it's just a matter of chatting up girls you have an interest in (which isn't as daunting as it seems, trust me.) What Devodiere is basically saying, is don't be the awkward, anxious you. Goes back to confidence. As long as you're talking to a girl and you aren't doing that weird shit where you can't make eye contact and your voice breaks every three seconds when you speak you're doing fine. Talking to random people on the street makes you look like a weirdo, not the brave guy who can face his fears. Being more generally social does have a lot of connotations, but talking to more people doesn't really guarantee anything positive.
[QUOTE=Seith;35230232]BE SOCIAL[/QUOTE] Are you retarded. I am social, i'm willing to bet i'm doing more this summer than you, i can easily make friends with most people. It's just i'm not the best spontaneous romantic. Atleast read shit seith before posting.
[QUOTE=Seith;35230232]BE SOCIAL[/QUOTE] woah hmm never thought of this, what a brilliant new idea!
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;35232094]Seith, no offence but you kinda dissect and analyze things too much and too deep that you make it look like you have a formula for every situation. Things don't work that way.[/QUOTE] I look look inside, and not on the surface. You guys seem to be so afraid to look inside, you make excuses to make my statements seem irrelevant. I try and find deeper meanings, and not just look on the surface; "How do I make her like me?" "Put perfume, shave" opposed to "The reason you ask this is...." There's a purpose. Why not try asking myself why things are happening around me, solving them, instead of providing quick fixes to comfort myself? [editline]21st March 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Occlusion;35232981]Are you retarded. I am social, i'm willing to bet i'm doing more this summer than you, i can easily make friends with most people. It's just i'm not the best spontaneous romantic. Atleast read shit seith before posting.[/QUOTE] [quote]My friend, Adam, is hopeless. He's totally cool with talking to women, up until the point when you suggest the possibility of romance, then he just shuts the whole thing down. He plays it off like he's just not interested, even when he totally probably is! The guy could definitely be a smooth operator, if he weren't such a colossal pussy! He's athletic, easy-going, and sociable with everybody except romantic interests. I just don't get it. What a schmuck! [quote]I'm kinda the same. Not always, but it happens. Any advice?[/quote][/quote] I read it. The answer is still, be more social. Is there any other way to not be a "colossal pussy" ? Your problem is you took "be more social" as if you are not talking to people, cutting your wrists and sitting at home. Being more social, as I have said, means you should go out more; take risks, try and engage more women with romantic interests.. [editline]21st March 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Protocol7;35232250]Just saying, Seith. I spend 99% of my time in downtown Denver. It's a big city, there's a lot of people. And the only people I see talking to everyone is homeless people. It's not about "talking to everyone." If your ulterior motive is talking to women, then it's just a matter of chatting up girls you have an interest in (which isn't as daunting as it seems, trust me.) What Devodiere is basically saying, is don't be the awkward, anxious you. Goes back to confidence. As long as you're talking to a girl and you aren't doing that weird shit where you can't make eye contact and your voice breaks every three seconds when you speak you're doing fine. Talking to random people on the street makes you look like a weirdo, not the brave guy who can face his fears. Being more generally social does have a lot of connotations, but talking to more people doesn't really guarantee anything positive.[/QUOTE] "The only people I see"... So, basically you're saying that if "nobody" talks to random people on the street, male or female, you shouldn't do it. Tell me, do you usually asks your friends what to wear, or what to eat? That notion sounds so idiotic. You're giving abstract tips. You can't just go-go gadget people into "confidence" "don't be anxious" people needs actions - going out more, despite being so bad with people. Despite having a lack of confidence. It won't come out of nowhere. I won't tell a person to do something, I won't do myself. I am fine with being a weirdo. I am also with you having a different opinion, but don't act as if mine's obsolete.
[QUOTE=Occlusion;35232981]Are you retarded. I am social, i'm willing to bet i'm doing more this summer than you, i can easily make friends with most people. It's just i'm not the best spontaneous romantic. Atleast read shit seith before posting.[/QUOTE] Be nice with Seith, Occlusion! You won't have a chance to become Seith's friends with that attitude!
I come seeking advice, let's see if you can help me. I met this girl via another friend, my school and her school are practilly like 5 mins away, my friend and her are in the same school, I always wait for my friend to walk home, anyways she started to come with him, I didn't know her, so we started to talk the usual stuff, and on the second day I added her to facebook, we started talking, the next day she gave me her number and we talked though WhatsApp, and when we left school we went together walking.. Anyways she invited me to a party she was doing in her house, I went to the party, she was on top of me abit too much for hardly knowing me so I didn't do anything. The next day she invited me to her house once again, two friends of hers were going, to watch a film and that, we had dinner blabla, and when we watched the film she sat by my side and after a bit she started to hold my hand, and when I left I didn't do anything, the next day she starts to talk to me, saying she isn't sure about this, we were like that for the next days, both weirded out about the situation. After a few days like this we started a relationship, we were fine for two days, that week after we started she was going to her town where she lived before, anyways after those two days, she started to act weird, she was really cold with me (we never met thoses days, because of exams). She said we should have some time not talking to see if she actually feels something for me, I started to like her, we talked little over the course of the week, these two girls I met not too long ago, dedicated a photo for me, and I put it as my profile picture, she took notice and when I talked to her she was really cold, I asked her, and said it doesn't matter she just wanted to make me notice that she didn't like it, on the weekend, she phoned me and we talked about what we did and that, she was making hints that she wanted something with me. We kissed on Monday after school everything was going good, then she started again with the same, and now she told me another guy was after her in her school, I didn't mind, we didn't have anything serious yet. To cut the rest out short, we was cold to each other these days, and she said she was going to give me a surprise on my Birthday which was on last Saturday, I invited those two girls aswell, and they only knew me and another friend, so we had a party on the beach, I wasn't really worrying about anything that day, and I was with them two cause the didn't know anyone and I didn't want to leave them alone, when she left, she sent me a message saying she forgot to give me my present, she was going to give it to me on Monday, the next day, she phoned me saying that on the beach she noticed she actually liked someone else, nothing happened on the beach that I know of, and that she doesn't want anything with noone, I was quite gutted she said that, but it was her decision I took it and carried on, on the other hand, the other guy has been really annoying with her, and that she somesort told the other guy to leave her alone, and she didn't say anything like that to me, this week we have still been meeting to go and leave school, we have been talking, we both have been cheerful, the question is, What do I do now?, I really like her, and I enjoy her presence, patience could be a factor here, but I've been waiting for nearly two months, if she liked me and wanted something with me, why did she change her opinion one day to another? Sorry for the long post D:
[QUOTE=Cl0cK;35234578]Be nice with Seith, Occlusion! You won't have a chance to become Seith's friends with that attitude![/QUOTE] I highly doubt Seith actually has friends
[QUOTE=exxkai;35234614]I come seeking advice, let's see if you can help me. I met this girl via another friend, my school and her school are practilly like 5 mins away, my friend and her are in the same school, I always wait for my friend to walk home, anyways she started to come with him, I didn't know her, so we started to talk the usual stuff, and on the second day I added her to facebook, we started talking, the next day she gave me her number and we talked though WhatsApp, and when we left school we went together walking.. Anyways she invited me to a party she was doing in her house, I went to the party, she was on top of me abit too much for hardly knowing me so I didn't do anything. The next day she invited me to her house once again, two friends of hers were going, to watch a film and that, we had dinner blabla, and when we watched the film she sat by my side and after a bit she started to hold my hand, and when I left I didn't do anything, the next day she starts to talk to me, saying she isn't sure about this, we were like that for the next days, both weirded out about the situation. After a few days like this we started a relationship, we were fine for two days, that week after we started she was going to her town where she lived before, anyways after those two days, she started to act weird, she was really cold with me (we never met thoses days, because of exams). She said we should have some time not talking to see if she actually feels something for me, I started to like her, we talked little over the course of the week, these two girls I met not too long ago, dedicated a photo for me, and I put it as my profile picture, she took notice and when I talked to her she was really cold, I asked her, and said it doesn't matter she just wanted to make me notice that she didn't like it, on the weekend, she phoned me and we talked about what we did and that, she was making hints that she wanted something with me. We kissed on Monday after school everything was going good, then she started again with the same, and now she told me another guy was after her in her school, I didn't mind, we didn't have anything serious yet. To cut the rest out short, we was cold to each other these days, and she said she was going to give me a surprise on my Birthday which was on last Saturday, I invited those two girls aswell, and they only knew me and another friend, so we had a party on the beach, I wasn't really worrying about anything that day, and I was with them two cause the didn't know anyone and I didn't want to leave them alone, when she left, she sent me a message saying she forgot to give me my present, she was going to give it to me on Monday, the next day, she phoned me saying that on the beach she noticed she actually liked someone else, nothing happened on the beach that I know of, and that she doesn't want anything with noone, I was quite gutted she said that, but it was her decision I took it and carried on, on the other hand, the other guy has been really annoying with her, and that she somesort told the other guy to leave her alone, and she didn't say anything like that to me, this week we have still been meeting to go and leave school, we have been talking, we both have been cheerful, the question is, What do I do now?, I really like her, and I enjoy her presence, patience could be a factor here, but I've been waiting for nearly two months, if she liked me and wanted something with me, why did she change her opinion one day to another? Sorry for the long post D:[/QUOTE] it sounds like you're not making her feel wanted and she's doing the whole cold/liking other guys to make you jealous
Oh fun, now the Love Advice Thread is in GD.
[QUOTE=Seith;35234447]I look look inside, and not on the surface. You guys seem to be so afraid to look inside, you make excuses to make my statements seem irrelevant. I try and find deeper meanings, and not just look on the surface; "How do I make her like me?" "Put perfume, shave" opposed to "The reason you ask this is...." There's a purpose. Why not try asking myself why things are happening around me, solving them,[B] instead of providing quick fixes to comfort myself?[/B] [/QUOTE] But that's exactly what you do! You think you're always right that you end up giving the most trivial advice in a huge wall of text. You act like you've figured it all out and the rest of us don't know what they're doing. You're actually so full of yourself that you feel like you're giving deep and useful advice. You're so convinced of what you just said above and of how you're analysis is so deep and helpful that you fail to see that what half of what you say is just redundant things that all of us already know and the other half is just wrong. There is not a single person asking for advice here that hasn't been jumped by your arguments. Arguments, once again, that you make so complex and deep that you start inventing universal formulae for everyone's problems. Everywhere we look here you're there acting like you're the man and when we try to tell you, you think we're just messing with you. We're not, you just have to put yourself in your own place and think things through before posting.
I tried to joke with this girl today, but she didn't get it. I don't know who was more put off by it, her or me. [editline]21st March 2012[/editline] It was obviously an hilarious joke. The most hilarious joke.
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