• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
Are you picking up on their actions when you do a certain thing? Are you being overly nice? Are you sucking up or something along those lines? Is your 'nice' different to theirs? Are they pricks, you're not giving us anything to go off other than assumptions.
[QUOTE=Icyanimal;35274965]I always try to be the nicest whenever I'm talking to new people, and very rarely are they nice back.[/QUOTE] then i think there's something not quite right in your perceptions of your own niceness, or their lack of it
[QUOTE=ZombieDawgs;35275045]Are you picking up on their actions when you do a certain thing? Are you being overly nice? Are you sucking up or something along those lines? Is your 'nice' different to theirs? Are they pricks, you're not giving us anything to go off other than assumptions.[/QUOTE] I always talk to new people who seem like they have the same interest as me. I made a new friend in Wood shop because he liked gaming too, so that went OK. Its also doesn't help that Ive lost 2 of my best friends during high school (I'm a senior now, graduating in May.) One of them left me to hang out with a bunch of other people, he's also very popular now. The other friend started talking crap about me and my only remaining friend now on the MSPA forums. I think I just have a bad history with trying to make new friends.
[QUOTE=Icyanimal;35275134]I always talk to new people who seem like they have the same interest as me. I made a new friend in Wood shop because he liked gaming too, so that went OK. Its also doesn't help that Ive lost 2 of my best friends during high school (I'm a senior now, graduating in May.) One of them left me to hang out with a bunch of other people, he's also very popular now. The other friend started talking crap about me and my only remaining friend now on the MSPA forums. I think I just have a bad history with trying to make new friends.[/QUOTE] Not being judgemental or anything but I don't think a pleasant personality and passively hating all women and straight men go hand in hand I'm just suggesting that it might be you that's the problem, not other people [editline]24th March 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Scrimp;35264537]Define aske her out, please.[/QUOTE] I would just get talking to her first, about school and whatnot before you take that step. It'll make things easier for both of you for when you do actually decide to ask her out, just don't leave it too long though
I'm kind of confused about this friendship I have, and I'm not sure if I'm just imagining things or what. The thing is, we only ever hang out if she includes me in her plans. If I make an offer it never goes anywhere. It could be that she just doesn't want her boyfriend getting jealous or something, but if that was the case I wish she'd just say so. She doesn't, though. Often times she doesn't even respond. On the other hand, she often talks about how we should hang out more. I wasn't too upset about this until the past couple days. She asked me to stay a couple days during spring break so we could hang out, and I agreed. I expected us to actually do something. Not only has she not made any offers, she's practically ignored me, and campus is pretty much closed down, which means I'm stuck in my dorm room. If I knew it'd be like this, I wouldn't have stayed. Basically, I'm feeling kind of used. Should I be? If so, should I confront her about it?
Yes you should.
[QUOTE=1STrandomman;35278898]I'm kind of confused about this friendship I have, and I'm not sure if I'm just imagining things or what. The thing is, we only ever hang out if she includes me in her plans. If I make an offer it never goes anywhere. It could be that she just doesn't want her boyfriend getting jealous or something, but if that was the case I wish she'd just say so. She doesn't, though. Often times she doesn't even respond. On the other hand, she often talks about how we should hang out more. I wasn't too upset about this until the past couple days. She asked me to stay a couple days during spring break so we could hang out, and I agreed. I expected us to actually do something. Not only has she not made any offers, she's practically ignored me, and campus is pretty much closed down, which means I'm stuck in my dorm room. If I knew it'd be like this, I wouldn't have stayed. Basically, I'm feeling kind of used. Should I be? If so, should I confront her about it?[/QUOTE] you should say something, but don't be too accusational about it, just tell her how you feel
[QUOTE=1STrandomman;35278898]I'm kind of confused about this friendship I have, and I'm not sure if I'm just imagining things or what. The thing is, we only ever hang out if she includes me in her plans. If I make an offer it never goes anywhere. It could be that she just doesn't want her boyfriend getting jealous or something, but if that was the case I wish she'd just say so. She doesn't, though. Often times she doesn't even respond. On the other hand, she often talks about how we should hang out more. I wasn't too upset about this until the past couple days. She asked me to stay a couple days during spring break so we could hang out, and I agreed. I expected us to actually do something. Not only has she not made any offers, she's practically ignored me, and campus is pretty much closed down, which means I'm stuck in my dorm room. If I knew it'd be like this, I wouldn't have stayed. Basically, I'm feeling kind of used. Should I be? If so, should I confront her about it?[/QUOTE] You're right to feel used if she invited you to do something with her and hasn't even taken the time to come talk to you. Like lil_nooblett said, don't make it sound like you're accusing her of anything, just try to open up about how you're feeling without using accusatory terms like "you are doing this." Assuming she even responds to talking to you.
Thanks for the advice guys. I'm kind of thinking if she doesn't contact me in the next hour or so I'll facebook PM her to ask if we can talk for a minute, unless you think it's better that I wait. I'm leaving tomorrow at 2 though, so if I wait it's probably not going to be until after spring break. I'm kind of worried about coming across as accusatory, though. Should I just stick to passive statements, like "I feel like we..." etc?
Enough of all your problems, it's my turn to speak! [I]Hot Coffee Girl[/I] is working today! I stopped in earlier, on the way home from work, and joked around with her for a few minutes while the coffee slave prepared my beverage. Now that I'm cleaned up, I'm totally gonna go back and see if I can't make her think I'm cool and in control and whatnot. I really wish I could have gotten that haircut I need, though! My bangs are in my eyes, and my complexion's a mess from wearing a hat to keep it from blinding me while I drive and am at work! I'm just gonna wait for my hair to dry, trim up my beard real neat and proper, see if I can't figure out how to style my hair without making it weird and unpleasant looking, and trot on down to the coffee shop to get some HCG (Hot Coffee Girl) action. Her baldness is especially sexy today, because her hair has grown out a little and she's got this downy fuzz on her scalp, like some kind of petite warrior woman.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35280509]Enough of all your problems, it's my turn to speak! [I]Hot Coffee Girl[/I] is working today! I stopped in earlier, on the way home from work, and joked around with her for a few minutes while the coffee slave prepared my beverage. Now that I'm cleaned up, I'm totally gonna go back and see if I can't make her think I'm cool and in control and whatnot. I really wish I could have gotten that haircut I need, though! My bangs are in my eyes, and my complexion's a mess from wearing a hat to keep it from blinding me while I drive and am at work! I'm just gonna wait for my hair to dry, trim up my beard real neat and proper, see if I can't figure out how to style my hair without making it weird and unpleasant looking, and trot on down to the coffee shop to get some HCG (Hot Coffee Girl) action. Her baldness is especially sexy today, because her hair has grown out a little and she's got this downy fuzz on her scalp, like some kind of petite warrior woman.[/QUOTE] what coffee are you ordering?
And she wears these shirt-dress things that hang off one of her shoulders, and I pretty much dig that. Sexy, but still classy and casual. [editline]24th March 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=mike;35280518]what coffee are you ordering?[/QUOTE] Ice mochas. I sometimes worry that's a foofy drink, the coffee equivalent of an Appletini or a Cosmopolitan or any liqeur served with a tiny umbrella, but if it is I guess I can pretend like it's just part of my boyish charm and hope nobody sees through my clever ruse.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35280548]And she wears these shirt-dress things that hang off one of her shoulders, and I pretty much dig that. Sexy, but still classy and casual. [editline]24th March 2012[/editline] Ice mochas. I sometimes worry that's a foofy drink, the coffee equivalent of an Appletini or a Cosmopolitan or any liqeur served with a tiny umbrella, but if it is I guess I can pretend like it's just part of my boyish charm and hope nobody sees through my clever ruse.[/QUOTE] those are fabulously girly drinks.
Better do something tough while I wait to balance out my drink order then. Pushups, or something.
Doesn't matter if they're delicious.
Hamstring stretches.
[QUOTE=1STrandomman;35280224]Thanks for the advice guys. I'm kind of thinking if she doesn't contact me in the next hour or so I'll facebook PM her to ask if we can talk for a minute, unless you think it's better that I wait. I'm leaving tomorrow at 2 though, so if I wait it's probably not going to be until after spring break. I'm kind of worried about coming across as accusatory, though. Should I just stick to passive statements, like "I feel like we..." etc?[/QUOTE] yeah, don't say anything like "you told me to stay and you haven't hung out with me ugh." say things like "I stayed here because i was hoping we'd be able to hang out, and i haven't heard anything back from you." use 'I' statements, not 'you' statements, basically.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35280659]Hamstring stretches.[/QUOTE] just walk in and do bicep curls
lunges
do some yoga poses in tight pants, very feminine
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35280646]Better do something tough while I wait to balance out my drink order then. Pushups, or something.[/QUOTE] When she brings it to the table, pull out some scotch to go with it. How could it fail?
wear sunglasses indoors
How do you avoid drunken hiccups (not sure how to translate, if you even know what it is)?
don't drink. i would say you could tell your friends to look out for you, but i wouldn't trust anyone to look out for me. they would have to be one of your best friends.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35281678]don't drink. i would say you could tell your friends to look out for you, but i wouldn't trust anyone to look out for me. they would have to be one of your best friends.[/QUOTE] Why not? Some of my friends just tricked me into drinking more but they followed me home.
Best way for a 16 year old to get his hands on some condoms?
I've been noticing a girl who's in my school. I had no idea she was even in the school until January. Both me(and from a very quick glance) and her seem to be very shy about talking to opposite genders. Both of us seem to talk to the same gender perfectly fine, but if either of us aren't near our friends or people who spark up conversations, we both sit dead silent. She's a bit better at being social than I am when someone asks her a question. She's in my Biology, General business and gym classes. I'm very interested in talking to her. Even if we only kick it off as friends, I think that would be great. There's 2 problems with doing so however. First of all, I have a reputation of being rude(Which isn't true at all, my cousin goes to the school with me and me and her had some fights in the past. I tried letting it go, but she did the same thing countless times before I stopped trying to communicate with her. I have heavy suspicion that she talks about me poorly) and letting people throw me around. I stopped majority of the insults and harassment I was getting from people in the first 3 weeks of this school year. I still get insulted for being physically inactive and for being black, but I can't help the latter and the former I'm working on. The people she hangs out with used to hang out with my cousin(why she doesn't talk to them, I don't know). Second problem: In the beginning of the school year I signed up for a Drumline program. It looked cool at first, but then I got the news that not everyone was going to play the drums. I was cool with it, but my parents weren't and said that if I wasn't learning how to play the instruments(first time doing anything musical), they would drop me out. At first I was learning things: beats, measurements, the different things I had to play(they put me in auxiliary), but after around 2 weeks it started to get dull and boring. I stopped having fun and I stopped learning, and it basically turned into a thing that I went to all day and the only thing I did was tap on a drum once every 10-20 minutes. My mom noticed and stopped paying for the program, which meant that even if I wanted to stay I would have to spend $700(I'm 15 and there's no jobs here for my age). I told one of my friends who was in the program, but I didn't have the balls to email the director of the program. Only my friend I told what happened to and 1 other guy talk to me now, the rest shun their heads when I pass them. This brings a lot of tension between me and them, which escalates in gym because 2 of the people in the program are in my class and the teacher always pairs them up with me for some reason. So basically there's a lot of negative influence around me and I'm certain it's out of my control. A friend of mine who I asked for girl advice said "The beauty about women is that if they're interested in you, it doesn't matter what you say". It certainly made me feel better about the situation, but still. What can I do to start a conversation with her? My friend said to ask her about quiz scores, but if I do that it'll come off like I'm bragging(I'm top in my class in Bio and general business). What else could I talk about? Oh, and one more thing: To my knowledge she doesn't have a facebook(All of her friends don't have her added), and I'm 90% certain she doesn't have a phone. What do?
[QUOTE=leshrec1;35281736]Best way for a 16 year old to get his hands on some condoms?[/QUOTE] Servo or supermarket, it shouldn't be illegal for minors. Anyways I do have something to ask: There's this chick in my Business Studies class who just won't stop mentioning me to all of her friends and complaining about me, this is because I do absolutely no work at all in class (I sit next to the most unproductive person in the year, a filthy drugged up leb) and I'm always getting at the top of the class in all the assessments we receive. This chick works so hard in Business Studies and I'm always beating her by a few points in every assessment (I do study a lot at home, which is why I'm going so well). I was thinking of asking her around to my place for some study and other things, but I'm wondering if it would be a dick move considering she has a boyfriend as well as the fact that I'd look stupid for asking it. Supposedly she might secretly love me haha, but I dunno. Maybe it's not a good idea but who knows.
[QUOTE=Antdawg;35281847]Servo or supermarket, it shouldn't be illegal for minors. Use self serve if you're gona feel embarrassed and if it's avaiable.[/QUOTE] Thanks much
Scenes unfold differently in my brain than they often do in real life. In my brain, I suavely get Hot Coffee Girl's name and number and charm her with my inherent goofiness and lack of grace, but in real life the manager takes my order while Hot Coffee Girl does dishes in the kitchen, and I linger by the pastry window hoping to trade a smile as she comes out to bus glasses. That tears it! Next time HCG is in, I'm definitely getting her name and asking for her number! I just need to figure out a way to do it that doesn't mess up our sweet coffee dynamic. I can totally handle a rejection, but I can't risk my coffee supply.
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