The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
Its just that its not enough time to REALLY get to know her, and it would suck to find out things about her that i dont like.
Besides yeah we met last friday.
I went out with this girl about a year ago for about a week, she was hardly a super model, but I wouldn't call her ugly. My friend teased me for going out with such and ugly person, and spread (not behind my back or anything) misconceptions about what happened between us. He was generally taking the whole banter between friend a step to far about this girl. I found out that a few months later after this fling happened, this friend went on a date with her, but I was told it was an accident as he wanted to hang out with a mate and he turned it into a double date,but he was still teasing me during that time.
Yesterday I found out that they had been dating for about a month before that date, while he was still teasing me, I'm not sure how to react.
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder[/url]
I have this and it fucking sucks :(
[QUOTE=Slowbro;35292419][url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder[/url]
I have this and it fucking sucks :([/QUOTE]
i thought i had this too and then i realized the reason i never talk to people is because I was afraid of it
My experience in speech/presentations taught me better, so this week I'm gonna say fuck it to being quiet and go talk to whoever i think would be interesting to talk to, including this girl that i like
btw reposting what i said about the girl that i liked for more things to talk about in my head
[QUOTE]I've been noticing a girl who's in my school. I had no idea she was even in the school until January.
Both me(and from a very quick glance) and her seem to be very shy about talking to opposite genders. Both of us seem to talk to the same gender perfectly fine, but if either of us aren't near our friends or people who spark up conversations, we both sit dead silent. She's a bit better at being social than I am when someone asks her a question. She's in my Biology, General business and gym classes.
I'm very interested in talking to her. Even if we only kick it off as friends, I think that would be great. There's 2 problems with doing so however. First of all, I have a reputation of being rude(Which isn't true at all, my cousin goes to the school with me and me and her had some fights in the past. I tried letting it go, but she did the same thing countless times before I stopped trying to communicate with her. I have heavy suspicion that she talks about me poorly) and letting people throw me around. I stopped majority of the insults and harassment I was getting from people in the first 3 weeks of this school year. I still get insulted for being physically inactive and for being black, but I can't help the latter and the former I'm working on. The people she hangs out with used to hang out with my cousin(why she doesn't talk to them, I don't know).
Second problem: In the beginning of the school year I signed up for a Drumline program. It looked cool at first, but then I got the news that not everyone was going to play the drums. I was cool with it, but my parents weren't and said that if I wasn't learning how to play the instruments(first time doing anything musical), they would drop me out. At first I was learning things: beats, measurements, the different things I had to play(they put me in auxiliary), but after around 2 weeks it started to get dull and boring. I stopped having fun and I stopped learning, and it basically turned into a thing that I went to all day and the only thing I did was tap on a drum once every 10-20 minutes. My mom noticed and stopped paying for the program, which meant that even if I wanted to stay I would have to spend $700(I'm 15 and there's no jobs here for my age). I told one of my friends who was in the program, but I didn't have the balls to email the director of the program. Only my friend I told what happened to and 1 other guy talk to me now, the rest shun their heads when I pass them. This brings a lot of tension between me and them, which escalates in gym because 2 of the people in the program are in my class and the teacher always pairs them up with me for some reason.
So basically there's a lot of negative influence around me and I'm certain it's out of my control. A friend of mine who I asked for girl advice said "The beauty about women is that if they're interested in you, it doesn't matter what you say". It certainly made me feel better about the situation, but still.
What can I do to start a conversation with her? My friend said to ask her about quiz scores, but if I do that it'll come off like I'm bragging(I'm top in my class in Bio and general business). What else could I talk about?
Oh, and one more thing: To my knowledge she doesn't have a facebook(All of her friends don't have her added), and I'm 90% certain she doesn't have a phone. What do?[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Slowbro;35292419][url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder[/url]
I have this and it fucking sucks :([/QUOTE]
I Have every single one of those signs/symptoms. I feel for you brah.
So I spent the last two days at a steampunk convention
Once you adjust to the various, extremely awkward people who feel the need to butt into every conversation with your friends, it's actually pretty fun. Plus all my friends urged me to talk to this cute blonde, and I ended up getting her number. All in all, enjoyable weekend.
[QUOTE=Slowbro;35292419][url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder[/url]
I have this and it fucking sucks :([/QUOTE]
you need to get over it. it's something that you can do yourself, you have to start with baby steps. looking at myself four years ago, i had that. now i don't. it's going to take time and [I]effort[/I] but if you really want to you can change yourself.
[editline]25th March 2012[/editline]
i've made an observation that i think some people here might benefit from.
you'll always hear the advice "if you talk about something passionately enough, people will want to listen." i'd never really believed it, but i saw it in action just a few days ago.
my school is doing a production of "beauty and the beast: the broadway musical" and i've got the role of gaston. it's a very technically complicated show, so my director (who's also my choir teacher) called one of his former students who went on to be a tech producer on broadway (he built The Hand in for the most recent run of The Addams Family).
anyway, he's got a very deep passion for everything disney, and at the last rehearsal, i started talking to him about some of the old movies on break. it's a forty minute break, and we talked for pretty much the whole time about the technical aspects of movies like toy story, wall-e, etc. and people started gathering around to listen. it was the nerdiest conversation ever, but everyone was enthralled because of the liveliness with which we spoke.
i'm sure i sound like one of those "pick up wizard" websites, haha.
[QUOTE=MrCrumbCake;35293249]I Have every single one of those signs/symptoms. I feel for you brah.[/QUOTE]
of course you do. a shit tonne of people who read that will - those symptoms are amazingly vague and subjective. everyone will have experienced one or all of them at some point in their life
just another label people can give to themselves to validate what's wrong in their lives
in short: suck it up
Hot Coffee Girl's name is Katie, and I never would have guessed she was that much older than me.
Still smokin' hot, though.
People tend to be hypochondriacs when it comes to personality disorders.
Hint: It's much, MUCH better if you just shut the fuck up and do something about it instead of saying "well I have XYZ disorder I can't do a whole lot."
I personally probably fall into the categories of so many personality disorders, but instead of just sulking to myself I actively try to address my problems. It's a little more strenuous but so much better in the end
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35294203]Hot Coffee Girl's name is Katie, and I never would have guessed she was that much older than me.
Still smokin' hot, though.[/QUOTE]
that's a nice name :~)
The last girl I asked out was [I]also[/I] named Katie. Clearly, there's a theme here!
... So. You come here often?
Yeah, blaming it on "disorders" is pointless and doesn't do you any good
[editline]25th March 2012[/editline]
woah didnt know there was another page
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;35294054]in short: suck it up[/QUOTE]
If what happens in my head could be solved by simply "sucking it up" I wouldn't be in this thread asking for advice.
sucking it up is a very long process and it's basically a rude way of saying "you can get over it with a lot of work and a good mentality."
[QUOTE=Glitch360;35294685]Yeah, blaming it on "disorders" is pointless and doesn't do you any good
[editline]25th March 2012[/editline]
woah didnt know there was another page[/QUOTE]
Well, it's just a copout.
It's like if someone starts an argument with you and then later just says "THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF YOU HAD DONE THIS INSTEAD OF THAT"
Or the worst kind of people, the kind who refuse to accept any responsibility for their actions.
[editline]25th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Slowbro;35294794]If what happens in my head could be solved by simply "sucking it up" I wouldn't be in this thread asking for advice.[/QUOTE]
Everything can be reduced to simple phrases.
The point is, some people bitch pointlessly and then try to excuse themselves with some sort of stupid disorder (when, if you've taken any psychology class, you can understand and appreciate that disorders are generally reserved for EXTREME cases.)
The thing with this thread is that social interaction is a huge, intimidating creature. Getting better at it is not easy. If people would realize that with a pinch of effort their lives could be a hundred times better, then we wouldn't be telling someone to tough it out every few pages.
[QUOTE=Protocol7;35294217]People tend to be hypochondriacs when it comes to personality disorders.
Hint: It's much, MUCH better if you just shut the fuck up and do something about it instead of saying "well I have XYZ disorder I can't do a whole lot."
I personally probably fall into the categories of so many personality disorders, but instead of just sulking to myself I actively try to address my problems. It's a little more strenuous but so much better in the end[/QUOTE]
agreed, at one point i thought i was autistic as I had many of the symptoms of it
participated with my school's speech team last year, was kinda persuaded into it(peer pressure is a bitch), I was on the verge of shitting in my pants during my speech many times but it got better as time went on and for that I'm grateful. turns out also that a lot of normal people have the symptoms of autism, and I'm not saying that autism is a "suck it up" thing sometimes(especially if you're born with it), but the disorder thing is just overblown
[QUOTE=Blueridge;35295897]agreed, at one point i thought i was autistic as I had many of the symptoms of it
participated with my school's speech team last year, was kinda persuaded into it(peer pressure is a bitch), I was on the verge of shitting in my pants during my speech many times but it got better as time went on and for that I'm grateful[/QUOTE]
It's a concept that's true with every kind of activity. You get better at it when you do it more frequently.
I for one still hate speeches but I have done enough speeches so that I can actually speak in front of people without mumbling, filler words, et cetera.
I just found out the girl I've been trying to get with for the past 4 months is actually a lesbian and one of the senior members of my university LGBT society.
Fuck me you'd think I'd notice.
Also a gay guy touched my ass and bought me a drink in the SU bar. Fucking hell.
[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;35296119]I just found out the girl I've been trying to get with for the past 4 months is actually a lesbian and one of the senior members of my university LGBT society.
Fuck me you'd think I'd notice.
Also a gay guy touched my ass and bought me a drink in the SU bar. Fucking hell.[/QUOTE]
Look at it this way, free alcohol.
[QUOTE=Protocol7;35296139]Look at it this way, free alcohol.[/QUOTE]
Yeah but now all my mates say I have a boyfriend and if they see him they give me a double thumbs up and say 'OOOH BEST FRIENDS FOR EVER AND EVER' in really high pitched voices.
try sleeping with him to make your mates jealous.
He has blue hair and a fuck load of piercings no thank you.
[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;35296323]He has blue hair and a fuck load of piercings no thank you.[/QUOTE]
That would not be first in my list of reasons why I would not have sex with a man.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35297443]That would not be first in my list of reasons why I would not have sex with a man.[/QUOTE]
Youre right, he has to have nice abs first most.
[QUOTE=Protocol7;35294217]People tend to be hypochondriacs when it comes to personality disorders.
Hint: It's much, MUCH better if you just shut the fuck up and do something about it instead of saying "well I have XYZ disorder I can't do a whole lot."
I personally probably fall into the categories of so many personality disorders, but instead of just sulking to myself I actively try to address my problems. It's a little more strenuous but so much better in the end[/QUOTE]
A lot of doctors call into question the validity of personality disorders, as the description of them overlap with tons of other things in the DSM, such as avoidance personality disorder could fit the symptoms of someone who has clinical depression to an exact T in some cases.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;35298109]A lot of doctors call into question the validity of personality disorders, as the description of them overlap with tons of other things in the DSM, such as avoidance personality disorder could fit the symptoms of someone who has clinical depression to an exact T in some cases.[/QUOTE]
I personally hate the concept of them. Categorizing people with personality disorders doesn't do a lot of good and the only time I really see them being used is, well, on an internet forum where people post a Wikipedia page and say "I have these symptoms :c"
I Study psychology and have worked in a mental hospital, identifying personality disorders help a lot if someone actually has them, some more than others. People with them usually show EXTREME signs of the symptoms associated with whatever disorder. Most people think because they're a little awkward or not social that somethings wrong with them and are quick to use disorders as an excuse.
In September I'll be going off to college. I don't want to be a socially awkward fuck around girls like I was in high school so that maybe at least one girl could consider dating me. What do?
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35294203]Hot Coffee Girl's name is Katie, and I never would have guessed she was that much older than me.
Still smokin' hot, though.[/QUOTE]
take a picture with your cellular phone while u pretend to talk on it facing the camera at her
i will not rest until u provide images
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