The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Mon;34554283]
[B]stop
this never happened[/B][/QUOTE]
[img]http://www.facepunch.com/avatar/408570.png?garryis=awesome[/img]
What never happened?
[QUOTE=Glitch360;34554382]What never happened?[/QUOTE]
"This," apparently.
[QUOTE=flamehead5;34552055]Because I do shitty in school, because 90% of the people I know hate me and devote their lives to making mine worse, because I have mental problems, because I live with a mother who doesn't give a shit about me whatsoever, because I feel so alone I can't stand it. That's why.[/QUOTE]
If you wouldn't think yourself as some elite uber type, i'm sure people would like you more.
[QUOTE=flamehead5;34551530]What excellent advice for me, an antisocial overweight depressed paranoid suicidal teenager.[/QUOTE]
None of your problems are physical. Even being overweight.
Stop being a fucking victim, as if you are the only person in the world with those issues. Seeing a psychiatrist would do shit.
It's not like these problems are separate, they are all a derivative of your idiotic behavior;
You're overweight, so you sit at home and cry, then you became anti social and paranoid. After being such for some time now, you became depressed, then because your life isn't moving forward but only backwards, you became suicidal.
Do you think drugs will fix your inability to hold yourself up when the world shits in your face? no, they only treat the symptoms and your life will still be misrable.
Wake up. You hate being fat? you got two choices - lose fat, or learn to accept yourself.
You hate being anti social? socialize.
THERE ARE NO QUICK FIXES. Either piss yourself away in agony, that you didn't do shit to help yourself or become the change you want in your life.
[editline]5th February 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=1chains1;34554128]That's a mature comeback, I pointed out how most of us had his interests in mind, and in the end only a professional should be giving him advice if he is on the level of committing suicide with a BB gun. So unless you know of some reason how my statements were wrong, I suggest you shut up.[/QUOTE]
I am dumbfounded by your need to comment about every post in this thread. When people tell you anything to counter your ideals, you go defensive and flaunt your ego around.
Even though you were helpful to an extent, as most people are here, right now, you are not contributing.
E
[editline]5th February 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=overpain;34555795]If you wouldn't think yourself as some elite uber type, i'm sure people would like you more.[/QUOTE]
Idiotic, unnecessary, spewing of diarrhea out of your mouth.
yeah that's not fucking helpful either.
you're giving advice as if the person has two cups of soup and is asking "which soup should i have??"
the socialize and not feeling well is obviously the part that he has problems with, so to say he should start socializing and feel well misses the point.
as if he's supposed to go "ohhhhhh yeah, i should just socialize and stop being a victim! thanks FP".
that's not how it works and if you think it does work like that you just have zero experience with people.
try hitting a person in therapy on the head while screaming "ey you, get better you!", see how far you get.
Flamehead5, i didn't really want to give you advice because i think you're not ready at all for a relationship, for instance, no stable girl will actually want to date a suicidal guy, they will say otherwise but deep down no one will want you, they will most likely pity date you and that's that.
You have to fix your life first, and we can't help you with that, you need priorities, if you have mental problems, work on them before considering dating, or it will just ruin dating for you and make your mental problems worse.
As for the suicide, you don't want to kill yourself, you do [i]feel[/i] like you want to kill yourself, otherwise you'd be already dead and not posting, you just hate your life, i get it, if your friends hate you, just give them the middle finger and get new ones or none at all, sometimes it's best to be alone than having the company of douchebags. Try some meditation exercises, do yoga, work out, you have to figure out what's actually wrong with you for you to fix it, i don't want to pull a maverick, but sometimes you have to at least try to be strong in the difficult times, because trust me, it will eat you alive if you don't do anything about it.
[QUOTE=thisispain;34556719]yeah that's not fucking helpful either.
you're giving advice as if the person has two cups of soup and is asking "which soup should i have??"
the socialize and not feeling well is obviously the part that he has problems with, so to say he should start socializing and feel well misses the point.
as if he's supposed to go "ohhhhhh yeah, i should just socialize and stop being a victim! thanks FP".
that's not how it works and if you think it does work like that you just have zero experience with people.
try hitting a person in therapy on the head while screaming "ey you, get better you!", see how far you get.[/QUOTE]
Didn't quite get the example, but regardless, I am not missing the point, I am right on the point. That's like saying, "you aren't so good at math, so do something else". True, sometimes it might helpful advice, but in his case he should step out and deal with what causes him so much pain.
There is no other way to deal with this. Not drugs, not talking about it. It's going and doing what you hate so much. As I have said, these are all causes of his own idiotic behavior, he wasn't born with this, so smacking him on the head is the right way. He has to realize it is in his own grasp to change his past, present and future.
dealing with what causes you pain isn't a very clear-cut path. we don't know anything about the person so to infer things about him like that is not right.
it's also very possible that he has a genetic deposition to clinical depression, which means that he was born with this.
anyone who feels like that already knows what their problems are and shouldn't be told to deal with them because that's unhelpful and redundant.
emotional support is not saying the same shit over and over again about how you need to get over it. i had very bad depression and i was suicidal and the last thing that helped me was someone saying "just get over it what's your problem???" and smacking my head. i fucking hated that and it made me feel worse.
if you don't know what he's upset about and why he's upset about it you don't have any right to tell him what he's doing wrong.
you may think you're very smart and wise but it's obvious you don't know shit about consoling someone with depression.
The crazy man is right, Seith
The intricacies of the human mind really do escape you Seith. I know you'll claim it's your experience but in a lot of cases it's just wrong. You may have a fragment of wisdom but understand it's limitations and how incomplete it is. Not everything will fit as it has for you.
So pretty much try what Seith says, but it's just a suggestion. If you're fucked up then there's a million ways to get out and not all of them work, there's always a solution you haven't found yet.
[QUOTE=thisispain;34556806]dealing with what causes you pain isn't a very clear-cut path. we don't know anything about the person so to infer things about him like that is not right.
it's also very possible that he has a genetic deposition to clinical depression.
anyone who feels like that already knows what their problems are and shouldn't be told to deal with them because that's unhelpful and redundant.
emotional support is not saying the same shit over and over again about how you need to get over it. i had very bad depression and i was suicidal and the last thing that helped me was someone saying "just get over it what's your problem???".
if you don't know what he's upset about and why he's upset about it you don't have any right to tell him what he's doing wrong.[/QUOTE]
I agree. I might not know exactly if he has a mental illness or not, but I usually keep the worst for last - "therapy" first and not "surgery" first.
I haven't said anything like "get over it" and I was taking what he said very seriously. I haven't dismissed what he feels, if I did, I wouldn't have addressed him at all.
And as a bystander, and a participant of this thread in which he asked his question at, I do have legitimate right as much as his therapist may have to answer his question in a way that I think would help him.
He told us what was wrong with him and as a bystander, I gave him my "out of the box" perspective. Whether I am right or wrong, it's for him to decide. That's the way I helped myself, so to say my way is completely wrong, in itself, is to infer things about me that might not be right.
[editline]5th February 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Devodiere;34556861]The intricacies of the human mind really do escape you Seith. I know you'll claim it's your experience but in a lot of cases it's just wrong. You may have a fragment of wisdom but understand it's limitations and how incomplete it is. Not everything will fit as it has for you.
So pretty much try what Seith says, but it's just a suggestion. If you're fucked up then there's a million ways to get out and not all of them work, there's always a solution you haven't found yet.[/QUOTE]
I agree. I suggested it. He can either follow it, dismiss it, whatever. That's my opinion and what I see as the best solution for [b]most[/b] people.
[QUOTE=Seith;34556866]I agree. I might not know exactly if he has a mental illness or not, but I usually keep the worst for last - "therapy" first and not "surgery" first.[/QUOTE]
why are you putting surgery in quotes?
uh
just so you know there's a lot of therapy for people with issues that don't involve drugs or surgery
[QUOTE=Seith;34556866]I haven't said anything like "get over it" and I was taking what he said very seriously. I haven't dismissed what he feels, if I did, I wouldn't have addressed him at all.[/QUOTE]
[quote]Stop being a fucking victim, as if you are the only person in the world with those issues.
...
Wake up. You hate being fat? you got two choices - lose fat, or learn to accept yourself.
You hate being anti social? socialize.
THERE ARE NO QUICK FIXES. Either piss yourself away in agony, that you didn't do shit to help yourself or become the change you want in your life.
[/quote]
that is just one long get-over-it speech.
[QUOTE=Seith;34556866]And as a bystander, and a participant of this thread in which he asked his question at, I do have legitimate right as much as his therapist may have to answer his question in a way that I think would help him.[/QUOTE]
well and i as a bystander and someone who has faced with similar stress and illness am telling you that your way of helping doesn't work
instead of beating someone on the head with words, try letting them speak and see why they are upset. works a lot better than any bullshit "out of the box" canned speeches.
[QUOTE=thisispain;34556921]why are you putting surgery in quotes?
uh
just so you know there's a lot of therapy for people with issues that don't involve drugs or surgery
that is just one long get-over-it speech.
well and i as a bystander and someone who has faced with similar stress and illness am telling you that your way of helping doesn't work
instead of beating someone on the head with words, try letting them speak and see why they are upset. works a lot better than any bullshit "out of the box" canned speeches.[/QUOTE]
You ignored a lot of what I wrote. There's no point in discussing this any further, as even if I were right, you'd still like to keep your opinion because it worked for you, as much as it worked for me (my way).
But, for the sake of clarifying what I wrote, I'll respond to what you said;
1. I put those in quotes, because I am not actually referring to surgery and therapy, but the differences between them (i.e anti-depressants and a therapist) - both might work.
2. I have given him solutions. Real life, actual, physical, practical solutions. The "get over it" statement you use so much is connected directly with your disbelief of my "pick-up" method. (not to say this is personal, just an example) I am taking this as an example, because my "inner game" approach to life (achieving what you want, being great, feeling great, knowing you deserve the stuff you want, conquering fears) is exactly as abstract to most people as was my advice to him right now. People most of the time need something physical, a relation to something, so they can relate and understand what I am actually saying. To some, my "inner game" is a load of bull, because they can't seem to grasp it. To some, my "get over it", is just a "get over it" statement, because you can't seem to grasp the power his mind has over every action of his body and personality. EVEN THOUGH, you might be right, and he might need drugs to treat himself, my point here was that my advice is not, I repeat, is not a "get over it" and absolutely not to be taken lightly or with disrespect. My way, worked for me.
3. It's weird you disqualify my way, while I didn't do the same with yours. I'll clarify once more and further; I didn't just told him what I had in mind ("get over it) and walked away. If he were to wish and intrigue himself with my advice, I would have no problem going deeper and investing my time to find a solution using my way. I was abstract as usual, because I believe if a person really wants a change or is interested in my way, he'll know how to reach me. I answer every time I get a PM, and am known to a few for investing a lot of my time in helping people change.
This was just to clarify, because you seem to have the wrong idea about my intentions and my way.
I like how we put this all behind us then our usual retards who haunt this thread pop up and bring it back up again.
Hell one of the idiots said in his post "none of your problems are physical, even being overweight."
What the god damn hell man, I want to hit my head on my desk after reading the advice you guys gave him. Also I am pretty sure you can't think away fat, yea there is a mindset portion to it but part of it is pretty fucking physical.
edit- To clarify, thisispain is NOT one of them. He is a good man with his heart in the right place, I didn't want any confusion over him.
[QUOTE=1chains1;34557787]I like how we put this all behind us then our usual retards who haunt this thread pop up and bring it back up again.
Hell one of the idiots said in his post "none of your problems are physical, even being overweight."
What the god damn hell man, I want to hit my head on my desk after reading the advice you guys gave him. Also I am pretty sure you can't think away fat, yea there is a mindset portion to it but part of it is pretty fucking physical.
edit- To clarify, thisispain is NOT one of them. He is a good man with his heart in the right place, I didn't want any confusion over him.[/QUOTE]
You're basically saying that he is fat? That's not cool, even by my standards.
[QUOTE=1chains1;34557787]I like how we put this all behind us then our usual retards who haunt this thread pop up and bring it back up again.
Hell one of the idiots said in his post "none of your problems are physical, even being overweight."
What the god damn hell man, I want to hit my head on my desk after reading the advice you guys gave him. Also I am pretty sure you can't think away fat, yea there is a mindset portion to it but part of it is pretty fucking physical.
edit- To clarify, thisispain is NOT one of them. He is a good man with his heart in the right place, I didn't want any confusion over him.[/QUOTE]
why do you feel the need to be a dick to this guy?
[editline]5th February 2012[/editline]
who says we can't talk about his problem, he did ask for advice didnt he?
but you're saying "the usual idiots" are the ones bringing it up, instead of letting it die like it "should"
Jesus christ I think that's enough arguing now, you can't shout depressed people into feeling better. [u]That is that[/u]. End of. It's a proper disease with chemical imbalances in the brain. thisispain has the right idea.
If depressed people don't take your advice, [b]it's because they're depressed[/b]. They need to be treated with patience and understanding. If you can't do that then don't reply. Certainly don't start bigging yourself up saying "Well I have problems and I'm a fuckin' superstar, bitch! You just need to be a man!" like some people in this thread were doing.
Bah, sorry about the rant. Bit tetchy today.
[QUOTE=1chains1;34557787]I like how we put this all behind us then our usual retards who haunt this thread pop up and bring it back up again.
Hell one of the idiots said in his post "none of your problems are physical, even being overweight."
What the god damn hell man, I want to hit my head on my desk after reading the advice you guys gave him. Also I am pretty sure you can't think away fat, yea there is a mindset portion to it but part of it is pretty fucking physical.
edit- To clarify, thisispain is NOT one of them. He is a good man with his heart in the right place, I didn't want any confusion over him.[/QUOTE]
What I meant by that, is that he became fat due to his mental condition. So, you could call "being fat" a mental condition. Is it not something that can controlled by actively putting your mind into doing exercise? completely denying being fat is a mental state as well as a physical one, is not understanding the roots of his problem.
I'm sure the "toughen up" thing works on some people, as long as you know the person well, and you are some sort of role model, but it's completely inappropriate for some stranger over the internet to try to cure their depression that way
[QUOTE=JenkinsJ;34558695]Jesus christ I think that's enough arguing now, you can't shout depressed people into feeling better. [u]That is that[/u]. End of. It's a proper disease with chemical imbalances in the brain. thisispain has the right idea.
If depressed people don't take your advice, [b]it's because they're depressed[/b]. They need to be treated with patience and understanding. If you can't do that then don't reply. Certainly don't start bigging yourself up saying "Well I have problems and I'm a fuckin' superstar, bitch! You just need to be a man!" like some people in this thread were doing.
Bah, sorry about the rant. Bit tetchy today.[/QUOTE]
This is an extreme. As thisispain mentioned, we cannot tell for sure what is wrong with him - is he actually mentally ill or not. So, arguing that he might need medication because the thought of suicide went through his head is absurd. Not everybody who thinks that way will actually commit it.
I had thoughts of suicide, where am I now? Did I use drugs? No. Did I see a see a psychiatrist? Yes. Did it help? No. I found my own way.
[editline]5th February 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34558766]I'm sure the "toughen up" thing works on some people, as long as you know the person well, and you are some sort of role model, but it's completely inappropriate for some stranger over the internet to try to cure their depression that way[/QUOTE]
As I have said a few posts above, if he's really interested in what I've said, I would go out of my way to help him. I am that kind of person.
I can't change or help the entire world, it's tiring my friend.. I have tried, and failed.
you are so full of yourself it's incredible
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34558869]you are so full of yourself it's incredible[/QUOTE]
Maverick except less useful
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34558869]you are so full of yourself it's incredible[/QUOTE]
Being honest and full of yourself are now intertwined?
[QUOTE=Seith;34558893]Being honest and full of yourself are now intertwined?[/QUOTE]
only someone who's full of himself would call that "being honest"
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34558912]only someone who's full of himself would call that "being honest"[/QUOTE]
....that doesn't make sense
[QUOTE=JohnnyMo1;34558882]Maverick except less useful[/QUOTE]
Maverick was ever useful?
[QUOTE=overpain;34558957]Maverick was ever useful?[/QUOTE]
Evidently I was.
2 pages on "get over it"
Don't be a pussy: Take 2 commences tonight
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