• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35385169]Or for my example; really hot girl, whom is also nice, gets along very well with me, but nothing has much common interests with me and isn't too keen on talking about what goes on in the world. [editline]1st April 2012[/editline] She called me. And she wanted to talk about it.[/QUOTE] I've had barely any common interests with my girlfriends but we got along fine Just because someone doesn't talk about global politics doesn't mean they're not fun to be around
Right, I'm not sure where to start, but I'll give it a shot: I'm part of a group of friends, consisting of 6 guys and maybe 15 girls, but thats just a bit of useless background information really. I've been in the group since September last year, so thats what? 7 months, God, it doesn't seem like that long. But anyway, ever since I've been in the group I've really liked this girl (As more than friends). We used to talk every so often and we'd see eachother at parties, but only when the rest of the group are there. So lets fast forward, up until now we've just been friends, not particularly close as we would only talk every so often, but when we did talk we could go on for ages. Anyway, A week ago today (Although it seems longer than that) I decided to man up and do something with my feelings about her, so it ended up that we were to spend some time together going for a walk as the weather was nice. Bit of background information on her: She is on social networks via her phone like constantly, even if she's talking to her best friends she will have her phone out. So we went on this walk, and it turned out to be great, we met up at 5ish so I was expecting like an hour with her, but we ended up parting ways just before 8 (Because it was cold as fuck and we were wearing shorts). So it was great, and what I noticed was she didn't use her phone, not even once. When I told her friends about it they couldn't believe it, so it seemed like she enjoyed her time with me. We made plans again to do the same thing, except more organised as the previous time we walked for ages trying to find somewhere nice to go for far too long. So again, it went good, we stayed with eachother for 3 hours again, it took an hour to get to where we wanted, and we sat down for 2 hours then. But this is the bit that pissed me off, as we're talking she gets her phone out and goes on one of her networks to talk to this guy, now although he lives mile away (I'm talking like an hour drive atleast) I'm still pissed off that she talks to him while we're out with eachother. And I've started noticing that they talk to eachother quite often, he's in his twenties (and we're both 17), so I don't know why I feel so intimidated. Sorry to blabber on but I have more to say: We plan on going up one of the bigger mountains next time the weathers nice, which will take us all day, but that wont be for a couple of days. And I'm thinking to myself now that she could just see me as a friend and nothing more, there's been no intimacy between us at all, so what should I do to make her realise my intentions? Look at [B]Sunday_Roast's[/B] post below mine, this is exactly how I feel about her.
About the girl. She just has so many traits that I find so appealing. And perhaps what I have found so appealing has been that we can have a really great time together, what a graceful friendship we have. I guess that it is all I ever really wanted from my ideal love interest; A lover and a really great friend. And the second one is what she sees in me and I see both in her. That's all I ever wanted. I'm so confused about myself at the moment. Fuck.
[QUOTE=AltUser;35385444]Right, I'm not sure where to start, but I'll give it a shot: I'm part of a group of friends, consisting of 6 guys and maybe 15 girls, but thats just a bit of useless background information really. I've been in the group since September last year, so thats what? 7 months, God, it doesn't seem like that long. But anyway, ever since I've been in the group I've really liked this girl (As more than friends). We used to talk every so often and we'd see eachother at parties, but only when the rest of the group are there. So lets fast forward, up until now we've just been friends, not particularly close as we would only talk every so often, but when we did talk we could go on for ages. Anyway, A week ago today (Although it seems longer than that) I decided to man up and do something with my feelings about her, so it ended up that we were to spend some time together going for a walk as the weather was nice. Bit of background information on her: She is on social networks via her phone like constantly, even if she's talking to her best friends she will have her phone out. So we went on this walk, and it turned out to be great, we met up at 5ish so I was expecting like an hour with her, but we ended up parting ways just before 8 (Because it was cold as fuck and we were wearing shorts). So it was great, and what I noticed was she didn't use her phone, not even once. When I told her friends about it they couldn't believe it, so it seemed like she enjoyed her time with me. We made plans again to do the same thing, except more organised as the previous time we walked for ages trying to find somewhere nice to go for far too long. So again, it went good, we stayed with eachother for 3 hours again, it took an hour to get to where we wanted, and we sat down for 2 hours then. But this is the bit that pissed me off, as we're talking she gets her phone out and goes on one of her networks to talk to this guy, now although he lives mile away (I'm talking like an hour drive atleast) I'm still pissed off that she talks to him while we're out with eachother. And I've started noticing that they talk to eachother quite often, he's in his twenties (and we're both 17), so I don't know why I feel so intimidated. Sorry to blabber on but I have more to say: We plan on going up one of the bigger mountains next time the weathers nice, which will take us all day, but that wont be for a couple of days. And I'm thinking to myself now that she could just see me as a friend and nothing more, there's been no intimacy between us at all, so what should I do to make her realise my intentions?.[/QUOTE] make a move, holy shit, there's no other recommendation you will ever get for how to get her to realize your intentions. you've been on two pretty good dates, you could have made a move on the first one but i dont blame you for waiting. after the second, though, you need to not worry about her talking to some other guy. if you're worried about him, you won't be focused on being that attractive guy she wants to date. just make a move. hold her hand. you were walking for hours. [editline]1st April 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35385485]About the girl. She just has so many traits that I find so appealing. And perhaps what I have found so appealing has been that we can have a really great time together, what a graceful friendship we have. I guess that it is all I ever really wanted from my ideal love interest; A lover and a really great friend. And the second one is what she sees in me and I see both in her. That's all I ever wanted. I'm so confused about myself at the moment. Fuck.[/QUOTE] that's all anyone wants, and you're not only going to find those qualities in one person. pick yourself up and find someone else, they're out there.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35385572]make a move, holy shit, there's no other recommendation you will ever get for how to get her to realize your intentions. you've been on two pretty good dates, you could have made a move on the first one but i dont blame you for waiting. after the second, though, you need to not worry about her talking to some other guy. if you're worried about him, you won't be focused on being that attractive guy she wants to date. just make a move. hold her hand. you were walking for hours. [/quote] Thanks for the advice, next time it's nice we're spending nearly a whole day together, what 'move' do you think would be suitable? When we're up there we'll obviously be able to see the sun set, I was thinking although it's cliched as fuck that I'd hold her hand at that point. [editline]1st April 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Yahnich;35385610]dude. you're the only person she doesn't use her cellphone around. she wants your dick[/QUOTE] Don't be sarcastic, I was using that as an example of it going well, and possibly that she was slightly less interested the second time.
Yeah, someone is out there. I know But the whole inner side of me is screaming that there isn't. [editline]1st April 2012[/editline] I also have a feeling that my friend has been talking with her about the thing for a bit.
[QUOTE=AltUser;35385628]Thanks for the advice, next time it's nice we're spending nearly a whole day together, what 'move' do you think would be suitable? When we're up there we'll obviously be able to see the sun set, I was thinking although it's cliched as fuck that I'd hold her hand at that point.[/QUOTE] it doesnt matter if it's cliche, just hold her hand. it shows your intention without risking something retardedly awkward like a rejected kiss
Alright so. This girl I've been talking about. We've been friends since around my sophomore year, in which she went out with one of my good buddies for about a month. Last year she met this guy in the grade above me, and dated him until about three weeks ago. So about a week before that, I inadvertent and drunkenly texted her that I wanted to 'see her.' basically, her boyfriend found out, got really pissy for about a week, and then they broke up. I couldn't help but feel partially responsible, especially since I was the first one she told. Anyway, she started making it pretty clear she was interested in me, and I was all set for a rebound-hook-up scenario, which is exactly what happened. We are both in our High School's production of Beauty and the Beast (she's Belle, I'm Gaston, for those who know the story). After our show this past Friday, we both went over to this girls house and got drunk and hooked up. By this point I was thinking, mission accomplished, pull out, etc. and she texted me saying, "I don't know what happened last night but it would be best if we didn't take this further."* Okay, I'm thinking, you were ready for this. I thought I didn't actually have any kind of feelings, but then a really cliché scenario unfolded in which she passed out and was hospitalized literally during our last show (fortunately we had someone who looked somewhat like her in the cast who filled in).* So now I'm thinking I still have feelings for her, and it's starting to come to light that her ex-boyfriend has been harassing her all this time about me, which may have been motivation for that text message. I've been talking to her a lot since she got out of the hospital, but I'm not sure what's going through her head, let alone mine. I'm going over to her house today and I'm gonna bring flowers, but I don't think that'll be the best time to start talking about all this. What do? I kinda just want to see if she'd be interested in hooking up again and then see where we go from there. I dunno. It's all very surreal.
How are you suppose to feel after getting cockblocked by a female friend then finding out that the same female friend made out with the girl you like? This is the second time she's cockblocked me with the exact same girl. I'm starting to think she's trying to steal her from me...
Maybe the girl you like is lesbian? Have you contemplated that relatively likely eventuality?
[QUOTE=Yahnich;35385894]i was fucking serious. it's even possible she wanted you to make a first move on that first date and she assumed you just want to be friends aka you might have friend zoned her[/QUOTE] Ah shit, sorry mate. You might be right, if I'm honest I feel like I didn't put as much effort in to it the second time we went out because I was tired and the thought of going out with the other half of my friendship group (Which didn't include her) was sickening to me. We have been talking about going again for the day (seeing as there no school for two weeks now) maybe I'll ask her to go tomorrow on the off chance that the weathers good. I need an opinion: Would it be right if I brought a couple of (alcoholic) drinks up there if we do go tomorrow, I will ask her beforehand of course, we both enjoy a drink so I can't see the problem with it. [editline]1st April 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=GoldenGnome;35385890]Alright so. This girl I've been talking about. We've been friends since around my sophomore year, in which she went out with one of my good buddies for about a month. Last year she met this guy in the grade above me, and dated him until about three weeks ago. So about a week before that, I inadvertent and drunkenly texted her that I wanted to 'see her.' basically, her boyfriend found out, got really pissy for about a week, and then they broke up. I couldn't help but feel partially responsible, especially since I was the first one she told. Anyway, she started making it pretty clear she was interested in me, and I was all set for a rebound-hook-up scenario, which is exactly what happened. We are both in our High School's production of Beauty and the Beast (she's Belle, I'm Gaston, for those who know the story). After our show this past Friday, we both went over to this girls house and got drunk and hooked up. By this point I was thinking, mission accomplished, pull out, etc. and she texted me saying, "I don't know what happened last night but it would be best if we didn't take this further."* Okay, I'm thinking, you were ready for this. I thought I didn't actually have any kind of feelings, but then a really cliché scenario unfolded in which she passed out and was hospitalized literally during our last show (fortunately we had someone who looked somewhat like her in the cast who filled in).* So now I'm thinking I still have feelings for her, and it's starting to come to light that her ex-boyfriend has been harassing her all this time about me, which may have been motivation for that text message. I've been talking to her a lot since she got out of the hospital, but I'm not sure what's going through her head, let alone mine. I'm going over to her house today and I'm gonna bring flowers, but I don't think that'll be the best time to start talking about all this. What do? I kinda just want to see if she'd be interested in hooking up again and then see where we go from there. I dunno. It's all very surreal.[/QUOTE] Don't ask her next time you see her, but maybe the time after: Ask her if her ex is harassing her, if so ask her if she wants you to have a word with him. You could either talk to her about being in a relationship, or you could spend time with her, and if she's ever liked you then its probable that she can't just put her feelings aside, meaning she'll fall for you again. But that's just my opinion on it.
I honestly think they're both bi and won't admit it, I've told them both this and they just hit me. They've both been in 1 guy 2 girl threesomes, they've both made/make out with other girls (the one I like's first kiss was a girl) when drunk/tipsy. I REALLY want to try and get a threesome happening but for some reason or another I'm unable to go to every party with them.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;35386441]a nice bottle of sangria or some beers (depending on what you both like more) is enough to loosen attitudes without getting too drunk, it'll get you both just right and who knows, maybe a good alcohol induced bout of courage is what needs to be.[/QUOTE] That's what I'm thinking, I've got a shitload of alcohol in my shed; ciders, lagers and the odd alcopop, so theres plenty to chose from.
a friend was asking, what to say if you're rejected? And a nice response.
[QUOTE=shian;35387190]a friend was asking, what to say if you're rejected? And a nice response.[/QUOTE] What exactly did she say?
Depends on how awkward/bad the rejection is. "Ah I'd love to but I'm so busy, another time we will." "Sure, here you've got my number already so we'll organize something later." Easy enough. "Can't sorry, I'm busy that day." "That's cool, some other time maybe." Probably a worse rejection but still easily dealt with. "What the fuck no why would I ever go out with you?" "Well my dick is above average in length and girth, up to you." Could still work. we./e!~1
And I just got a problem. I was at TGI fridays eating, and I saw this waitress chick. I have never attempted, mind you. So after bout an hour of practice, I talked to her, and it got off well. I said I worked in the same line of worked, as a kitchen helper. I mentioned a horrible joke, that it makes it cry because I have to cut onions. Yeah its shit. But she went 'so lame', but after that she was still happy to serve me. So I asked for dessert, and then this was the part that went wrong. She has a indian coworker, also a waiter, and I told her we were ready to proceed with our order, but the indian guy decided to come forward to our table and take our orders. (The indian waiter was beside her when I asked for the order) But, he persisted, helping out with the bill and shit. Could he be cockblocking me? If he is, will it affect my chances with the other chick? I'm afraid he might convince her that I'm strange or something. I didn't managed to get her number, but because I thought it was too soon. But, while we chatted, she told me her best friend works at my restuarant. I am thinking of get to know her best friend better(I didn't really socialize with the people working with me) and possibly get her number from her best friend or ask the best friend for her working hours. Or should I go back to TGI fridays and find her? And my friend mentioned, that he fear the cockblocking might affect my chances, and that I should act fast or I might lose this. Help me out here guys, please.
1. You need to accept you might lose her. Devoting too much energy in planning always provide the opposite outcome, for the most part. 2. Never get a number from a third party. 3. I'd come by the restaurant again and tease her about her coworker. Something along the lines off...
As how this love pursuit hit and end. It hurts, but from a positive outlook; it has given me some good fuel for songwriting. Atleast my friend liked what I recited to him: "I've seen my heaven in your eyes, I've felt its embrace in your arms."
[QUOTE=shian;35387549]And I just got a problem. I was at TGI fridays eating, and I saw this waitress chick...[/QUOTE] to me it just sounds like a failed attempt with a random girl sure, go ahead and try again but dont get too worked up over her, theres really nothing special about her, and you dont even know if shes single or not [editline]1st April 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35388177]As how this love pursuit hit and end. It hurts, but from a positive outlook; it has given me some good fuel for songwriting. Atleast my friend liked what I recited to him: "I've seen my heaven in your eyes, I've felt its embrace in your arms."[/QUOTE] omg so deep, u are so emotional
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35388177]As how this love pursuit hit and end. It hurts, but from a positive outlook; it has given me some good fuel for songwriting. Atleast my friend liked what I recited to him: "I've seen my heaven in your eyes, I've felt its embrace in your arms."[/QUOTE] Keep writing. Edit: I'm also hoping that's not how you've been attempting to exit the friendzone. No offense.
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;35389640]Keep writing. Edit: I'm also hoping that's not how you've been attempting to exit the friendzone. No offense.[/QUOTE] Luckily I'm not that stupid. I can't sleep at all now. I managed to clear the things of my mind but my heart rate is really high. Man I hope that I'll be having my car free tomorrow at the times of four so that I can go pick my friend (the middle man of a kind) to go for a cup of coffee. And at some point I want to confort her about one thing: The crush that she herself has, to get a better understanding on what she has going on. I wanna know if that was the ultimate reason, but I guess it has gotten stuck with me because all I got from her on the subject was: "I kinda have a crush on someone" and "It's complicated". Because I see two possible scenarios; Either she has something going on with someone, but it's complicated or she is just sitting on this whole idea of having this perfect image of someone, feeling like that's the one, withouth even truly knowing him and still doing jack-shit about it. Because if the first scenario is right, then I want to support her trough it. And if the second one is right, then help her make the push towards her goal. Or in third possibility (in speculation); make her realise that she has shunned me away because of someone whom she has painted perfect in her head when she doesn't even really know him. That would bring closure for the whole thing. Giving me the final light on wether to finally give up on her completely or to have a reason to still try to make it.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35392117]Luckily I'm not that stupid. I can't sleep at all now. I managed to clear the things of my mind but my heart rate is really high. Man I hope that I'll be having my car free tomorrow at the times of four so that I can go pick my friend (the middle man of a kind) to go for a cup of coffee. And at some point I want to confort her about one thing: The crush that she herself has, to get a better understanding on what she has going on. I wanna know if that was the ultimate reason, but I guess it has gotten stuck with me because all I got from her on the subject was: "I kinda have a crush on someone" and "It's complicated". Because I see two possible scenarios; Either she has something going on with someone, but it's complicated or she is just sitting on this whole idea of having this perfect image of someone, feeling like that's the one, withouth even truly knowing him and still doing jack-shit about it. Because if the first scenario is right, then I want to support her trough it. And if the second one is right, then help her make the push towards her goal. Or in third possibility (in speculation); make her realise that she has shunned me away because of someone whom she has painted perfect in her head when she doesn't even really know him.[/QUOTE] ohmygodyouaredoingliterallyeverythingwrong stop thinking using a "middle man" is going to help you at all stop trying to get involved in her love life, she doesnt want you in it, it's going to come off as creepy if you try to help her with another guy or something stop trying to decrypt what it is she really meant to say to you, she was pretty clear, she isn't interested be happy that you tried and find another girl to go for
I guess you are right.
If it gets to the point where you're literally planning out every detail to go out with a girl you should probably stop.
and because you added on that part at the very end, don't try to look for closure. i'm telling you right now, your closure was when she said no. if you keep trying or look for closure, you're going to make yourself look awful. just save face and move on; put the effort that you would have put into getting closure instead into some new girl.
[QUOTE=JohnnyMo1;34497729]oh god why[/QUOTE] because team fortress two is amazing
[QUOTE=shian;35387549]And I just got a problem. I was at TGI fridays eating, and I saw this waitress chick. I have never attempted, mind you. So after bout an hour of practice, I talked to her, and it got off well. I said I worked in the same line of worked, as a kitchen helper. I mentioned a horrible joke, that it makes it cry because I have to cut onions. Yeah its shit. But she went 'so lame', but after that she was still happy to serve me. So I asked for dessert, and then this was the part that went wrong. She has a indian coworker, also a waiter, and I told her we were ready to proceed with our order, but the indian guy decided to come forward to our table and take our orders. (The indian waiter was beside her when I asked for the order) But, he persisted, helping out with the bill and shit. Could he be cockblocking me? If he is, will it affect my chances with the other chick? I'm afraid he might convince her that I'm strange or something. I didn't managed to get her number, but because I thought it was too soon. But, while we chatted, she told me her best friend works at my restuarant. I am thinking of get to know her best friend better(I didn't really socialize with the people working with me) and possibly get her number from her best friend or ask the best friend for her working hours. Or should I go back to TGI fridays and find her? And my friend mentioned, that he fear the cockblocking might affect my chances, and that I should act fast or I might lose this. Help me out here guys, please.[/QUOTE] bump, anyone?
This guy who I work with seriously won't stop pestering me about hanging out. He's really nice but he's a little too nice. And too eager to get me to hang out with him. Like I literally get two or three texts every day from him asking what I'm doing. And it's even getting to the point where he's bugging me at my other job. I always tell him "I'm busy" or "Sorry, I can't". You know, in a polite way, obv, but he's obviously not getting the hint that I don't want to hang out. Is there something I can tell him that won't seem like I dislike him? Like I said, he's a nice guy, I'm just not interested in hanging out with him at all. Him and I would clash too much.
Thank's for helping me se what I was doing. Now I'm hoping that by tomorrow I'll be feeling the same like I did last time: A feeling where I was just completely living in the moment and the whole world was my playground. This time I'm not going to let the toughts of her re-enter my head like last time, I'm going to express myself on when they do, because it's a monster that grows bigger in the dark. Hah :v: I even might think I know who I should try to hit on: This one girl working at games workshop, I remember going there once (as I tend to visit there often because I have a friend that works there, I'm painting warhammer figures and visit there just came a habit after I had to go there when I was working with another game store that had relations with GW), well she came to talk to about if I'm in the interest of buying anything at the moment, I promptly explained that I was just window shopping as usual. Then we had an usual friendly conversation (can't remember what it was about), which I ended with a pat on the shoulder. Why I think that she would be a good target on the scope would be that how relaxed and perhaps even intrigued she seemed there talking to me (which has propably something to do with that I don't really match the type that does visit the store a lot: unnatractive and somewhat socially awkward). Neither did she seem bothered by my friendly pat on the shoulder. And now I remember what I was talking about with her: Overgrowth (the indie-game) was what I was saving money for and the friendly pat on the shoulder was from me "feeling sorry" for her for only having a weak laptop to play games on. Oh, what a way of coping.
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