• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Evilan;35450257]Atta boy! You going to make a move or is it strictly platonic?[/QUOTE] Pretty sure it's a date. I tried to follow the rules this thread has laid out for me. Said "Do you want to go see the hunger games [b]with me[/b]?" Then she gave me her number so dunno. Honestly never asked anyone out before so I don't know how it goes. :v:
hey mate one step at a time alright?
[QUOTE=Djentleman;35436896]I have extreme anxiety issues, I try and hide it but most of my friends can I'm a nervous wreck. I often find myself inexplicably thinking that there is someone trying to kill me. I smoke a metric fuckload of cigarettes and weed just to be able to attend school without freaking the fuck out. How do I become a more relaxed person without the weed and cigs? I know the air of agitation and the fact I smoke are driving girls away. Additionally I posted before about my necrophilia issue so if the dude who replied to me sees this, tell me if you found that thing about dopamine and reprogramming your brain. Oh and, is atheism a turn-off for girls? All the dudes I know who can easily get girls, I see them in church when I fake going. I was considering "coming out" of the atheism closet, is this a good idea? y/n.[/QUOTE] Atheism is usually a turn-off around these parts, considering that I live in the Bible Belt. However, it really does feel better when you stand on your own two feet instead of hiding it away. I'd rather feel confident in who I am than attempt to impress women.
Went car cruising with one of my best friends last night. We talked a lot and he made me realise what I didn't, how I fucked up. I let my emotions take over and thus try too hard. So if I want to have a chance of making progress with that girl, I just have to be nonchalant. Went also two hours too early to school yesterday, I had forgotten that we weren't supposed to have our seminar that day. Luckily time went past by fast with the company of this one girl who's going trough fourth grade at our school. Cute, well-spoken, funny, has a taste for videogames and is taken. For me it was a great reminder of how many awesome girls there are still around. A well deserved slap from reality to the emonional side that tries to entrap one. I'm starting to wonder if the cute girl at GW even works there anymore. Because I've visited there three times this week and she hasn't been there on any of the occasions.
Last night one of my friends saw how (I wanna leave her name out of this) and I talk on facebook. So today at school he yelled at me and got everybody to hate me :( first thing my mom does when I get in the car is talk about how much of a fuck up I am and cry about it. I am exhausted, I dont even wanna tell you guys what went good today cause you'll all just bash me for it anyway and say im wrong
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;35450909]Last night one of my friends saw how (I wanna leave her name out of this) and I talk on facebook. So today at school he yelled at me and got everybody to hate me :( first thing my mom does when I get in the car is talk about how much of a fuck up I am and cry about it. I am exhausted, I dont even wanna tell you guys what went good today cause you'll all just bash me for it anyway and say im wrong[/QUOTE] you need to get your shit together before you fuck up your life.
starting with your relationships - you really need to recognise (now more than ever) that it's not a good idea.
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;35450909]Last night one of my friends saw how (I wanna leave her name out of this) and I talk on facebook. So today at school he yelled at me and got everybody to hate me :( first thing my mom does when I get in the car is talk about how much of a fuck up I am and cry about it. I am exhausted, I dont even wanna tell you guys what went good today cause you'll all just bash me for it anyway and say im wrong[/QUOTE] And the shit hit the fan. Just as expected.
[QUOTE=thisispain;35450934]you need to get your shit together before you fuck up your life.[/QUOTE] Im always trying, I try so hard but nobody sees that. No I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say. You can tell me to ditch (Not saying her name) but I wont do it. Its all I have left, everyone at school is going to give me shit for it to. I know its not going to be easy, I know its fucked up. But we love each other and in the end its all that really matters. Hate me for it, its my decision. Im not a pedophile, I dont like little kids. Thats all I have to say (ok not thats a lie, I have a shit ton to say. I always do)
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;35451085]Im always trying, I try so hard but nobody sees that. No I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say. You can tell me to ditch (Not saying her name) but I wont do it. Its all I have left, everyone at school is going to give me shit for it to. I know its not going to be easy, I know its fucked up. But we love each other and in the end its all that really matters. Hate me for it, its my decision. Im not a pedophile, I dont like little kids. Thats all I have to say (ok not thats a lie, I have a shit ton to say. I always do)[/QUOTE] mate, can't you realise that a significant degree of your problems aren't coming despite your relationship, but because of it? aside from the fact it's actually unhealthy, particularly for her, it's causing you social isolation. frankly, it'd be much better for both of you if you just broke it off - and if you did, you'd soon realise why you should've a long time ago.
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;35451085]Im always trying, I try so hard but nobody sees that. No I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say. You can tell me to ditch (Not saying her name) but I wont do it. Its all I have left, everyone at school is going to give me shit for it to. I know its not going to be easy, I know its fucked up. But we love each other and in the end its all that really matters. Hate me for it, its my decision. Im not a pedophile, I dont like little kids. Thats all I have to say (ok not thats a lie, I have a shit ton to say. I always do)[/QUOTE] All you have left? I don't think you're trying hard to get anything together if you're doing something that even you know is wrong and something thats causing you problems. This may be your first "close female friend" but there will be other girls. I think by putting so much into your "relationship" with her you're setting yourself up to be hurt even more instead of doing things right. I felt the same way about my first girlfriend because I don't keep any close female friends and girlfriends come and go for me. Even though I knew she was wrong for me I stayed with her because she made me feel good every now and then. Trust me, you'll be better off without her and trying to get your life together.
[QUOTE=R3N3GADE;35451124]mate, can't you realise that a significant degree of your problems aren't coming despite your relationship, but because of it? aside from the fact it's actually unhealthy, particularly for her, it's causing you social isolation. frankly, it'd be much better for both of you if you just broke it off - and if you did, you'd soon realise why you should've a long time ago.[/QUOTE] No, the majority of my problems come from the fact that I cant do my fucking work at all and Im failing school. All I have left is a bit of an exaggeration. Point is if I didnt have her I would be doing so much worse right now.
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;35451085]No I dont know what to do.[/QUOTE] this is what you are going to do, you're going to ditch this girl and get your life on track. otherwise you're gonna be miserable. we're your friends here at the local social advice thread, we're only saying this because we know what the result is going to be and the best we can hope for is to knock some sense into you before you throw your life away.
Problems have solutions. Figure out why you're failing in school and fix it. Study more. Get a tutor. Whatever helps you. I don't know you but I figure you aren't putting enough effort into it, especially if you're in high school still. You wouldn't be doing much worse at all, its the same thing I used to think about my first girlfriend, and if you break it off you'll realize you should've done it a long time ago, like I did with mine. You're putting too much into your relationship with her. This isn't a thread for just posting your problems for others to see and feel sorry for you and not taking or even considering anyone's advice.
[QUOTE=phobia-_-;35451245]Problems have solutions. Figure out why you're failing in school and fix it. Study more. Get a tutor. Whatever helps you. I don't know you but I figure you aren't putting enough effort into it, especially if you're in high school still. You wouldn't be doing much worse at all, its the same thing I used to think about my first girlfriend, and if you break it off you'll realize you should've done it a long time ago, like I did with mine. You're putting too much into your relationship with her. This isn't a thread for just posting your problems for others to see and feel sorry for you and not taking or even considering anyone's advice.[/QUOTE] I dont know why I posted here, Im sorry. I knew what you guys would say and I know that im not going to leave (her). I guess im just venting. Im stuck, and if I do write anything more it will just be my feelings/whining. Sorry
shut up and do what we say lol but seriously, you should do what we say
[QUOTE=thisispain;35451351]shut up and do what we say lol but seriously, you should do what we say[/QUOTE] haha, yeah see ive gotten the same advice from a shit ton of people. The only people who agree we should stay friends are the people who know one or both of us really well.
I hate my social life at the moment as it's in an urgent need of attention. I'm almost 23, moved to a bigger town but I'm basically as alone as you can be. I have awesome workbuddies, but apart from that, I have nobody to hang out with on my free time. Doesn't help that I live in Sweden either (appearantly)
well go hang out in a bar. plenty of people just as alone as you hang out in bars. [editline]6th April 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=SHOE3045;35451398]haha, yeah see ive gotten the same advice from a shit ton of people. The only people who agree we should stay friends are the people who know one or both of us really well.[/QUOTE] because they care more about your feelings, i don't care about your feelings, i just don't want to see you make the same dumb mistakes i made. (disclaimer: my mistakes didn't involve 13 year old girls)
Today I found out that the unfortunate middle man told the guy about that I have feelings for the girl. He said that his reaction was just like; "mkay". So now I know where from his little bit of teasing has come. Teasing of that included: a long lasting hug in which he was completely over me, a handpalm-window-handpalm goodbye and footplay at the food table.
Love advice. Try not to fall in love. On a serious note, i just think people tend to rush love and then grasp onto it when bad situations arise. I know someone who stays with this abusive girl, yet he doesnt have the courage to leave and still "Loves her" I can understand that, but personally, if i was never happy in a relationship i just broke it up because it wasnt working. I know some people find it harder to but i honestly hate seeing him with that woman because he just looks utterly depressed. I have given up telling him but there is only so much you can waffle on before you give up.
[QUOTE=Outcast_X;35450222]Asked a girl to go see the hunger games with me. She said yes. :v:[/QUOTE] Remember that she might think youre going to movies with her as a friend. That happened to me though i tried to make it pretty clear that im interested.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;35421159] It is true unfortunately. For most people, you're right, they'll read it and be like "Yeah! He's right, it is easy!" then they'll see the girl and suddenly their balls cave back into a vagina and they'll forget how inspired they felt the previous evening (and I only say that harshly because I was once in the same position). But if just one person reads something like that and somehow gets spurred into action by it, if just one person is touched by these words on a forum and motivated to go out and get that experience, then it was worth it.[/QUOTE] Late reply because I don't post much anymore, but I always thought a cool inclusion to this thread would be having users post how they asked out their current or ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, or how the relationship came to be. That could be then collated in the OP, so newbies could see how easy it is and gain some quick confidence.
Goddammit I'm pissed of at myself. Why? The girl said that she was going over to a friend, so she went to call her(possibly). Then she goes offline and the guy goes offline 3 minutes later. Why pissed off? Because that's the thing that instantly comes to my head. I may be right, but I'm pissed off at myself for getting so distressed over it. How can I keep on going nonchalant with her if I feel this jealous instantly? What is also confusing me is how the other guy told me that he allready has a girlfriend (and was even hooked up with 4 girls in junior-high).
Sunday I have an incredibly difficult time keeping track of your gender pronouns Are you the girl in the story?? What is going on
Hi guys, I don't post so much but you seem like a helpful bunch. I'm moving out of the town I was born in, and have lived in my entire life to Japan of all places. I've been incredibly unhappy at highschool here. I'm not completely left out of everything but the kids I talk to I talk to only so I don't look so miserable to any passerby. I really only enjoy the company of a few of my friends, and even then they're more of "old friends" then anything. I'd like to salvage my last year of highschool. In two days I'll be on a plane and that'll be it. I'll finish my eleventh grade year and spend my twelfth in a DOD school in Iwakuni, mainland Japan. I've been thinking more than anything else of what sort of card I'll be dealt in terms of classmates. I can't even think of a friend I've made that wasn't introduced by another one, so I'm worried that I'll have a hard time avoiding staying completely quiet. I want to explore nippon and shit with people I feel comfortable around, not stay inside my house and type on the computer as I've done for years. Any advice concerning new places and new people would be appreciated, I figure this should be the time to get rid of being so introverted.
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;35452871]Late reply because I don't post much anymore, but I always thought a cool inclusion to this thread would be having users post how they asked out their current or ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, or how the relationship came to be. That could be then collated in the OP, so newbies could see how easy it is and gain some quick confidence.[/QUOTE] Haha well if you think it's a good idea then I might reply to this properly later, it's just I could honestly write so much (read: way too much) about my own 'story' though.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35453259]Goddammit I'm pissed of at myself. Why? The girl said that she was going over to a friend, so she went to call her(possibly). Then she goes offline and the guy goes offline 3 minutes later. Why pissed off? Because that's the thing that instantly comes to my head. I may be right, but I'm pissed off at myself for getting so distressed over it. How can I keep on going nonchalant with her if I feel this jealous instantly? What is also confusing me is how the other guy told me that he allready has a girlfriend (and was even hooked up with 4 girls in junior-high).[/QUOTE] stop thinking about every tiny minor detail actually just stop thinking about the situation at all actually just stop thinking
[QUOTE=littlefoot;35453417]Hi guys, I don't post so much but you seem like a helpful bunch. I'm moving out of the town I was born in, and have lived in my entire life to Japan of all places. I've been incredibly unhappy at highschool here. I'm not completely left out of everything but the kids I talk to I talk to only so I don't look so miserable to any passerby. I really only enjoy the company of a few of my friends, and even then they're more of "old friends" then anything. I'd like to salvage my last year of highschool. In two days I'll be on a plane and that'll be it. I'll finish my eleventh grade year and spend my twelfth in a DOD school in Iwakuni, mainland Japan. I've been thinking more than anything else of what sort of card I'll be dealt in terms of classmates. I can't even think of a friend I've made that wasn't introduced by another one, so I'm worried that I'll have a hard time avoiding staying completely quiet. I want to explore nippon and shit with people I feel comfortable around, not stay inside my house and type on the computer as I've done for years. Any advice concerning new places and new people would be appreciated, I figure this should be the time to get rid of being so introverted.[/QUOTE] Having a new start in a new place and a new school is perfect dude, it's an ideal time to let go of some of your old burdens and really start putting your best foot forward. Just put yourself out there, talk to new people, be friendly, and don't be afraid of being yourself. So long as you seem like a nice, friendly and approachable guy (and I'm sure you are!), then you're bound to start talking to people and having people start talking to you. Based on what I know about Japanese schools, I'm sure there will be clubs and other extra-curricular activities which you can take part in and find people with similar interests as you as well. What is it exactly that made you feel so unhappy during your time at school so far?
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;35453532]stop thinking about every tiny minor detail actually just stop thinking about the situation at all actually just stop thinking[/QUOTE] I'm trying to. It's just the emotions trying to take controll again. I don't want it to happen again. When the emotions take controll a lot of stupid shit gets done. Luckily the rampant emotions are a beast that grows in the dark, so talking with friends is efficient in killing it. Allready have done, will now go drive around with a friend who helped me shine a lot of light on the situation last night.
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