The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35453747]I'm trying to.
It's just the emotions trying to take controll again.
I don't want it to happen again.
When the emotions take controll a lot of stupid shit gets done.
Luckily the rampant emotions [B]are a beast that grows in the dark[/B], so talking with friends is efficient in killing it.
Allready have done, will now go drive around with a friend who helped me shine a lot of light on the situation last night.[/QUOTE]
stop that
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35453747]a friend who helped me shine a lot of light on the situation last night.[/QUOTE]
don't shine any light on it. stop talking about it
i know people say don't bottle up and talk about things that are bothering you but in this case it has gone on for way too long already and you've talked about it too much and you're bothered about tiny things you should not at all be bothered by
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
in honesty, i used to be similar. i'd look into things way too much. like, i empathise with that thing you said earlier about "omg she went offline and then THIS GUY went offline JUST AFTERWARDS. VERY SUSPICIOUS" but really i look back at myself now and think "wow what a mong i was. if only i chilled out"
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35449763][i]sometimes i just dont get why certain people post *sigh*[/i]
(not directed at you turnips5, just VENTing god)[/QUOTE]
ha ha I get it
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;35453534]Having a new start in a new place and a new school is perfect dude, it's an ideal time to let go of some of your old burdens and really start putting your best foot forward. Just put yourself out there, talk to new people, be friendly, and don't be afraid of being yourself. So long as you seem like a nice, friendly and approachable guy (and I'm sure you are!), then you're bound to start talking to people and having people start talking to you. Based on what I know about Japanese schools, I'm sure there will be clubs and other extra-curricular activities which you can take part in and find people with similar interests as you as well.
What is it exactly that made you feel so unhappy during your time at school so far?[/QUOTE]
I don't know exactly. I would say it was the lack of doing things outside of school, but I wouldn't want to do much of anything with the people I talk to anyways. That also wouldn't explain why I'm unhappy when around "friends" at school seeing as that's the only time I see them. I've got the feeling they don't do many afterschool stuff together anyways.
Dear god, writing this out really makes me of how much of a loser I am. :v: (I don't pity myself, just how I'd judge what I'm saying)
I'm not easy to approach, at all really. I look like I'm depressed when I'm perfectly content, and look like I'm going to blow something up when I'm depressed. I don't know how to fix that though and people that are around me long enough realize that I'm not some kid that cuts himself in his spare time.
I can make people laugh without much effort though but that's almost always through being sarcastic, an asshole or a combination of the two. Deadpan kid, which I guess helps a lot when I'm with people I know but alone things often get misinterpreted.
[QUOTE=littlefoot;35453417]Hi guys, I don't post so much but you seem like a helpful bunch.
I'm moving out of the town I was born in, and have lived in my entire life to Japan of all places. I've been incredibly unhappy at highschool here. I'm not completely left out of everything but the kids I talk to I talk to only so I don't look so miserable to any passerby. I really only enjoy the company of a few of my friends, and even then they're more of "old friends" then anything.
I'd like to salvage my last year of highschool. In two days I'll be on a plane and that'll be it. I'll finish my eleventh grade year and spend my twelfth in a DOD school in Iwakuni, mainland Japan. I've been thinking more than anything else of what sort of card I'll be dealt in terms of classmates. I can't even think of a friend I've made that wasn't introduced by another one, so I'm worried that I'll have a hard time avoiding staying completely quiet.
I want to explore nippon and shit with people I feel comfortable around, not stay inside my house and type on the computer as I've done for years.
Any advice concerning new places and new people would be appreciated, I figure this should be the time to get rid of being so introverted.[/QUOTE]
If you can find a couple of people who you think you can tolerate, hang out with them to start with. You don't have to be best friends with the people you meet first, but they can be a good place to start meeting more people.
Is a DOD school an international school or a military school? Either way I imagine the people there will be extra accepting of new people - you shouldn't have to fit into any cliques or anything.
[QUOTE=Mlisen14;35453918]If you can find a couple of people who you think you can tolerate, hang out with them to start with. You don't have to be best friends with the people you meet first, but they can be a good place to start meeting more people.
Is a DOD school an international school or a military school? Either way I imagine the people there will be extra accepting of new people - you shouldn't have to fit into any cliques or anything.[/QUOTE]
Stands for Department of Defense, I'll be living on a base so it'll be a very small school. I'm not sure if that'll be a good or bad thing for me. By very small I mean +/- 30 kids graduating.
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;35453836]don't shine any light on it. stop talking about it
i know people say don't bottle up and talk about things that are bothering you but in this case it has gone on for way too long already and you've talked about it too much and you're bothered about tiny things you should not at all be bothered by
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
in honesty, i used to be similar. i'd look into things way too much. like, i empathise with that thing you said earlier about "omg she went offline and then THIS GUY went offline JUST AFTERWARDS. VERY SUSPICIOUS" but really i look back at myself now and think "wow what a mong i was. if only i chilled out"[/QUOTE]
I returned from a drive with my friend.
Chilled out now.
That's what I'm going to work on now; Letting go, chilling out.
Because during these past months, I've been happiest the times when I haven't been caring.
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
And that is what is the most important thing: Being happy.
If I'm stressing out about this girl, what the fuck am I gaining?
Happiness is one thing I for sure ain't.
[I]Cute Well-Spoken Girl[/I] and I texted for a bit last night, and my worries that she was apprehensive about this whole thing have been put to rest. We joked around about a variety of subjects and locked in plans for coffee and sammiches at the coffeehouse tomorrow at lunch.
I'm feeling pleasant and upbeat. I'll get a new shirt today so I've got something proper to wear. I'm thinking button-down shirt with rolled sleeves and jeans. I want my appearance to say, [I]"I wanted to look nice for this, but still appear loose and casual and approachable."[/I]
I think we're going to get along pretty well, though, if our conversation last night was any indication of things!
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
Oh! I do have a question! Should I offer to pick her up, or should we just meet at the coffeehouse? We're both basically adults now and I don't want to appear overeager or expose the fact that I'm a bit clueless about dating protocol!
You should probably offer to pick her up.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;35453747]I'm trying to.
It's just the emotions trying to take controll again.
I don't want it to happen again.
When the emotions take controll a lot of stupid shit gets done.
Luckily the rampant emotions are a beast that grows in the dark, so talking with friends is efficient in killing it.
Allready have done, will now go drive around with a friend who helped me shine a lot of light on the situation last night.[/QUOTE]
stop being so fucking melodramatic and over analyzing and chill the fuck out.
[QUOTE=littlefoot;35454012]Stands for Department of Defense, I'll be living on a base so it'll be a very small school. I'm not sure if that'll be a good or bad thing for me. By very small I mean +/- 30 kids graduating.[/QUOTE]
My graduating year was about that size. Just means a more tight knit community, you'll be alright.
Going to see a movie tonight with a girl I knew way back in middle school; any advice?
[QUOTE=Alan Ninja!;35459526]Going to see a movie tonight with a girl I knew way back in middle school; any advice?[/QUOTE]
Make her think you're attractive and charming!
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
I couldn't find any well-fitting pants, but I bought a nice shirt.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35455192][I]Cute Well-Spoken Girl[/I] and I texted for a bit last night, and my worries that she was apprehensive about this whole thing have been put to rest. We joked around about a variety of subjects and locked in plans for coffee and sammiches at the coffeehouse tomorrow at lunch.
I'm feeling pleasant and upbeat. I'll get a new shirt today so I've got something proper to wear. I'm thinking button-down shirt with rolled sleeves and jeans. I want my appearance to say, [I]"I wanted to look nice for this, but still appear loose and casual and approachable."[/I]
I think we're going to get along pretty well, though, if our conversation last night was any indication of things!
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
Oh! I do have a question! Should I offer to pick her up, or should we just meet at the coffeehouse? We're both basically adults now and I don't want to appear overeager or expose the fact that I'm a bit clueless about dating protocol![/QUOTE]
What is [i]Cute Well-Spoken Girl[/i]'s name? I really want to know.
I too am going to a movie with a girl soon (monday), my predicament is there are no good movies out that we would both like.
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;35459735]What is [i]Cute Well-Spoken Girl[/i]'s name? I really want to know.[/QUOTE]
Cute.WS.Girl is her full name i think
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;35459735]What is [i]Cute Well-Spoken Girl[/i]'s name? I really want to know.[/QUOTE]
First name Sarah, surname Cute. Title: Well-Spoken Girl. So she introduces herself as:
[I]Sarah Cute, Well-Spoken Girl.[/I]
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;35459746]I too am going to a movie with a girl soon (monday), my predicament is there are no good movies out that we would both like.
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
Cute.WS.Girl is her full name i think[/QUOTE]
I think a movie is a bad choice for a first date, because you don't have much opportunity to talk during it. At the end of the day, you won't know whether the silence was "comfortable, movie-watching" silence, or, "awkward, nobody-had-anything-to-say" silence.
My ideal first date involves a cozy seating arrangement, some light food and drink, and a relaxed atmosphere that we can talk and joke in. And so, coffeeshop!
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35459816]First name Sarah, surname Cute. Title: Well-Spoken Girl. So she introduces herself as:
[I]Sarah Cute, Well-Spoken Girl.[/I]
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
I think a movie is a bad choice for a first date, because you don't have much opportunity to talk during it. At the end of the day, you won't know whether the silence was "comfortable, movie-watching" silence, or, "awkward, nobody-had-anything-to-say" silence.
My ideal first date involves a cozy seating arrangement, some light food and drink, and a relaxed atmosphere that we can talk and joke in. And so, coffeeshop![/QUOTE]
I already know the person from school.
I should of added, it would be the second movie "date".
If there's no good movies playing, we'll just walk around and do shit.
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35459816]First name Sarah, surname Cute. Title: Well-Spoken Girl. So she introduces herself as:
[I]Sarah Cute, Well-Spoken Girl.[/I]
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
I think a movie is a bad choice for a first date, because you don't have much opportunity to talk during it. At the end of the day, you won't know whether the silence was "comfortable, movie-watching" silence, or, "awkward, nobody-had-anything-to-say" silence.
My ideal first date involves a cozy seating arrangement, some light food and drink, and a relaxed atmosphere that we can talk and joke in. And so, coffeeshop![/QUOTE]
also i prefer coffee shop and a movie
Fucking friend of mine keeps texting me stupid shit and I've just told him to stop.
Seriously. It's fucking annoying. Every 10 minutes I get texts like:
"pis"
"dorp"
"stoners are cool"
"i am train"
and when I get him to actually talk about something, I don't know, that isn't a random useless waste of battery life he has a tendency to write shit so stupidly.
"fak man, wurk is boering" or "i haf to listen to ryan and jack paly gaem :c" are two examples of why I hate texting this person.
I hate texting in general. I like to chat idly on the phone, in person, or skype. If I text someone, it's because I want to plan something and have it written somewhere so I don't forget.
so stop replying?
[editline]6th April 2012[/editline]
or if you want to take it a step further block his number
I do stop replying, but he continues
Sad thing is, this guy has been a good friend of mine for a long time, so I feel like an asshole
But I go to my messages right now, there's at least 20 texts for each reply I've made, and I feel awful having to tell him off like this but I can't do anything else really
[QUOTE=Protocol7;35460116]I do stop replying, but he continues
Sad thing is, this guy has been a good friend of mine for a long time, so I feel like an asshole
But I go to my messages right now, there's at least 20 texts for each reply I've made, and I feel awful having to tell him off like this but I can't do anything else really[/QUOTE]
Don't feel bad. He needs to learn to respect your right to not having the shit bugged out of you. That said, my friend used to send stupid messages to me like those while he was baked, but he'd never remember doing it. Is that a possibility?
if your friend is being a dick/annoying don't hesitate to tell him to stop.
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;35460205]Don't feel bad. He needs to learn to respect your right to not having the shit bugged out of you. That said, my friend used to send stupid messages to me like those while he was baked, but he'd never remember doing it. Is that a possibility?[/QUOTE]
Not at all, he's just bored. I understand his need to talk to someone when you're bored but I don't like my text messages to be meaningless bullshit, y'know? I guess what I'm saying is, the way he texts isn't like the way he has a face to face conversation and it's very annoying
On the good side, he just said "Fuck you" finally after I told him to stop sending me stupid text messages all the time. So I guess I got my message across.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;35459746]I too am going to a movie with a girl soon (monday), my predicament is there are no good movies out that we would both like.
[/QUOTE]
28 days later.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;35459735]What is Cute Well-Spoken Girl's name? I really want to know.[/QUOTE]
Dave
I've kind of gotten myself into a dilemma. Something I thought I would've been invulnerable to.
Today, for the first time in my life, I've been bullied.
I don't know what I did to provoke this, but I guess my mannerisms make me seem like an easy target.
Basically, this girl keeps messing with me. While it sounds harmless, she's been sneaking up behind me and putting glitter all over me, then pointing and laughing with her friends.
Usually, I'd just take off my hoodie and shake it off, or brush off the sparkles as best as I could, but today, my fuse kind of ended.
She sat next to me and began to put glitter on me. I promptly told her to [I]fuck off[/I]. Loud and clear.
Things kind of escalated from there. The group of people who patronizes me looked at me like I was retarded and they just saw the most hilarious thing in the world.
I said that I didn't understand what the issue was.
Things cooled down - for a second.
I was sitting in my seat, livid from the constant glitterbombings.
The main girl involved in this was called up to get some papers.
In retrospect, I made a bad decision. I scooted my chair back to block her path and glared at her for a few seconds. That was a pretty stupid thing for me to do, but I wasn't in my right frame of mind here. You have to understand that I've been treated poorly constantly by this girl and her group of friends.
I called her a bitch. She replied with "I know am," sarcastically. Imagine fat trailer trash - you'll have a good image of this girl in your mind.
At some point, she was back at her seat. I don't remember what led to this, but she told the guy sitting next to her to call me "Harry Potter." It sounds almost too ridiculous to be real. That is the kind of cheesy shit you'd expect from an anti-bullying PSA. But I digress.
I've been branded as "Harry Potter" for quite some time now, by the girl and her friends. She tells groups of people that I look like Harry Potter, then points and laughs at me with the people.
The kid called me "Potter" and I became absolutely fucking pissed. I asked what the problem was. The only reply I got was a look that made me feel like I asked the worlds dumbest question. My posture became inquisitive. I pressed again for the source of the problem.
I was only greeted with more teasing. I was shaking. They made sure I knew that I was.
They said things along the line of "what are you gonna do about it, shake some more"?
I don't remember much of it from there, but in reply to my questions about the reasons for this harassment, I got "you're cool." A very sarcastic "you're cool."
I said that she was an idiot if the best thing she could do in reply to my questions was say "you're cool."
At this point, I think it was obvious that I was pissed. The kid who called me "Potter" said "hey, what is Potter gonna do? Wave his magic wand?" And he jumped around like an idiot, making dumb faces and loud, obnoxious noises, the kind you'd expect from a drunk frat boy. Or like FPS Doug, but much more... negative.
In the hallway, I heard her laughing about me with her friends as she walked in front of me. I walked up behind her, called her a cunt, and walked off.
They began yelling and screaming like a bunch of retards. "WOOOW!" "WOOOW!!!" "YOU CALLED ME A NAME! YOU'RE COOL! YOU'RE COOL!"
I shrugged when a teacher looked at me like I opened a new can of worms.
My saga was concluded when I went and sat down in my class. Through the open door, I could see her with some other people, pointing and laughing, saying I look like Harry Potter. I could see people looking in at me, laughing, as if I was an object of entertainment rather than an intelligent human being.
For the first time in my life - I was bullied. A normal person. My perspective has been changed greatly. I thought only meek, insecure, fedora wearing neckbeards were bullied. I was wrong.
I told the vice principal about what happened and he said he'd try to put an end to it.
Sorry for the huge wall of text. I just have no idea how to handle a situation like this. I've been patronized before, but never to this extent. What should I do?
Bitch slap that cunt
[QUOTE=Glitch360;35461804]Bitch slap that cunt[/QUOTE]
I just about did, but I feel like that'd make the problem snowball into something much worse. Plus, my school has a "0 tolerance" violence policy.
[QUOTE=danielplazzy;35461688]-snip-[/QUOTE]
I've found that the best way to avoid getting bullied is to just not care. If someone does something annoying, just walk off like you don't give a fuck/don't notice. If not, you can simply try to be EXTREMELY assertive and cold, with a hint of threatening. I'm personally sarcastic as I do this.
Or, sometimes even better, just go with the flow. Say that you like glitter, or something.
[QUOTE=Repulsion;35461886]I've found that the best way to avoid getting bullied is to just not care. If someone does something annoying, just walk off like you don't give a fuck/don't notice. If not, you can simply try to be EXTREMELY assertive and cold, with a hint of threatening. I'm personally sarcastic as I do this.
Or, sometimes even better, just go with the flow. Say that you like glitter, or something.[/QUOTE]
That's the kind of attitude I usually have towards this kind of thing, but it didn't really seem to be working. I'm kind of past the point of no return with that group of kids, though.
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