• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
I can't find anyone in my town, and the stress is getting to me, every day just goes by with virtually no one to talk too, and it's making me easily provoked to anger and stress. I don't know if I should see a therapist or something.
For those of you who may remember my earlier posts; this is the same girl, by the way Ill call her A for when things get more complicated in the story. I only had the balls to go out and do something with her this time two weeks ago. That week we went out three times for a walk up the mountain, the first time was nice and we just chatted about shit. The second time I had a feeling she was less interested. But the third time we become closer and weren't afraid to enter each others personal space. Last Friday we both went out with our group of friends and had a great time, but up until then I didn't have a clue if she wanted to be friends or more. So I asked for help and eventually told myself I would "make a move" on her when we went to this party last Friday. So Friday came and we ended up sitting by each other, but I still wasn't sure if she only wanted to be friends or not. (Ps- She was drinking before the party too) So I drank a pint while she danced with friends, and I told myself I needed to do something fast. So I finished my drink, got another one and drank a bit of it, she came back and sat with me for a while, I asked her to dance to I took a big drink of my lager and went up with her. So we danced for a while, still not knowing where I stood friendship-wise. Eventually we sat back down but for some reason we ended up outside leaning against a railing soon after with my drink in my hand, I really cant remember what we talked about at this point but we were very close to each other with our arms wrapped around one another (Hugging, then). We went back in for a while, and then not long after we come back out, and she started crying (She always does when she's drunk) so we were then bombarded with her friend, who took her away to talk to her, so I was joined by my mate, and we'd both had a pretty shitty night. All of a sudden the police arrived (apparently) so we went back inside and me and my mate sat together. Suddenly, I feel my phone going off, it was the girl I'm interested in (Ill call her A from now on) So A rang me to ask me if I was still at the party, I said yeah I'm by the table. So she come back and sat on my lap, again, I cant remember what we talked about. So the party ended and her friend who talked to her previously (Who I shall now call B) said we needed to walk home and she was sorry that we couldn't walk alone. So I left with A in my arms, but her gay friend comes up and fuck knows how but he took her from me (He also lives in our direction). So he walked with A like 10 meters in front of me and B. Now God knows why, but I start crying to B over A and about how confused I am about her, etc. So B told me not to worry because A is apparently interested in me (Idk if she just said that to stop me crying) but there again, the day before a mate told me that he heard from B that she might like me. So eventually B tells me to wait there and goes to talk to A. I still dont know what she said but A come over to me and we walked home with our arms around each other and holding hands. So it didn't take five minutes for us to reach a pub and see her mother outside who greeted me with shit like "Oh aye, is this the boy I've heard about" and "Are you two boyfriend and girlfriend yet?" but eventually the four of us left, (Me, A, B, And the gay guy) and me and A got quite uhm, lovey-dovey? We told eachother how much we liked each other and kissed me on the cheek several times, this happened until we got to B's house as A would stay there for the night. So I come in for a cup of tea (Which I never received btw) and took a piss, I come out to be told that me and A were to go down the road and get some food from this fish and chip shop which was five minutes down the road (Despite it taking us over 30 mins to get back) So me and A left, and after only a minute we stopped and cwtched (which is basically hugging but more intimate, Google it if you like) And she told me that she was over this boy she was after and we told each other that we really liked eachother again, and a kiss on the cheek went to one on the lips, which soon led to an open mouth kiss (with tongues) but I soon stopped it as it didn't feel right as we were both drunk. So this happened until we got home (The shop was closed by the way) and we got comfy on the sofa together, but I had to leave so that was it for that night. Ah, now we get to the morning after: I text her if she remembers last night, the reply was "hehe, most of it" blah blah blah. So I asked her what she remembers about what happened between us both, I got a "hehe, enough :)" So I though fuck it, and asked her if she still feels like that now shes sober. After a long ten minutes she said "Yeah :) I think :)" and I told her I felt the same. By this point I'm thinking finally, shits sorted itself out. But how naive I was. She said that she doesnt want it to go to quickly because things have been shit in the past like that, I was like "Yeah I know what you mean, I stopped us going too far last night for a reason" she questioned me on what I meant by too far, so I told her about the kiss. So she laughed and apologised. (I'm not sure if she didn't remember us kissing or whether she thought something more happened). She then goes on about her not wanting it to affect our friendship like B and her previous boyfriend (Who didnt care about her) So I assured her that I do care, and we've got nothing to lose. She still questioned it so I told her she's overthinking it all, and she said yeah, I overthink everything for fuck sakes. And she doesn't want things to turn out badly. Then it come out that shes been messed about a lot and she wants to tread a little more carefully, so she wants to go with the flow and see what happens. Now I hate the term "go with the flow" because to me it sounds more like a nice way of saying "lets be friends". So it took me four hours to reply to that (And I fucking regret it) But I said I was sorry and offered to go to the cinema or something and just see how it goes. She replied with "Alright :)" so I asked her what she wanted to do, and she said she was skint, so she said that we should go down hers and watch films and order something to eat. But that was all on Saturday, we haven't really spoken since, and it's shitty that we cant do anything because the weather is terrible outside. I actually feel a bit better after typing it all out now, but I was stressing out so much about whether she actually wants to do this or if she's being to cautious, several times shes put on Twitter that she keeps on "overthinking things" and straight after that she "hates this" etc. And she cant make her mind up about anything. So what shall I do now guys? I was thinking of maybe talking to B over Facebook about it all as she has heard everything from A. Or shall I just wait and hope that she's still serious about me coming over. Or there again, I was thinking maybe I'd ask her to come for a walk with me next time the weathers well... Dry. And we could talk through it all, or is that just unnecessary?
Jesus, man, how long did it take for you to type that out? I read everything, and I have to say, I think the reason things haven't worked themselves out with "A" is because they won't. You need to stand firm and try and solidify things. Why can't you just straight-up say "hey, I want you to be my girlfriend because I know we would work out together, fuck the consequences whatever they may be"?
Your probably right, I think she's starting to doubt things now though, I don't know if I'm being paranoid but she tweeted "I'm never getting drunk again".
So I've got a girlfriend. I'm not completely certain this was a good idea. It kinda happened...really quickly. We were friendly with each other beforehand, but we didn't really [I]know[/I] each other. We still kinda don't. We do have some common interests, and we're both nerdy people, so I don't think there will be any issues in terms of getting along and whatnot, but getting to know someone and becoming friends with them while also dating them at the same time doesn't exactly seem like the best way to go about it, but I'm not really sure what I can do about that. Would it be unreasonable to express my worries to her that we may have taken things too quickly, and ask if we could possibly take a few steps back, get to know each other first and become friends before actually having anything serious?
[QUOTE=Bazkip;35499284]So I've got a girlfriend. I'm not completely certain this was a good idea. It kinda happened...really quickly. We were friendly with each other beforehand, but we didn't really [I]know[/I] each other. We still kinda don't. We do have some common interests, and we're both nerdy people, so I don't think there will be any issues in terms of getting along and whatnot, but getting to know someone and becoming friends with them while also dating them at the same time doesn't exactly seem like the best way to go about it, but I'm not really sure what I can do about that. Would it be unreasonable to express my worries her that we may have taken things too quickly, and ask if we could possibly take a few steps back, get to know each other first and become friends before actually having anything serious?[/QUOTE] Just talk to her about how you feel, and remember that the whole "girlfriend/boyfriend" thing is really just a title. You can still get to know someone better if you are in a relationship with them, so long as you actively try to also be friends instead of just kiss/fuck/batmanroleplay buddies. You probably should've waited a bit longer to go out, but you don't have to step out of it as long as you guys actively like and get along with eachother.
Spent 2-3 months getting to know this girl without really wanting a relationship, but now we've sort of decided that we're great together and we're giving it a go. I'm pretty happy. I get to meet her parents at the weekend while I'm at hers "watching movies and walking the dog", I'm not good at first impressions. This can only end badly.
Going on a movie date next sunday, can anyone recommend any movies? PG-13 and under please. I was looking at Woman Thou Art Loosed: On the 7th Day, and Lockout if anyone knows anything about those two movies.
why pg 13? the titanic re-release is a perfect date movie 21 jump street is alright the hunger games could work, so could wrath of the titans [editline]10th April 2012[/editline] mirror mirror might be ok
We're both under the age of 18 and you have to have an adult/parent with you to see R movies i think.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35503694]why pg 13? the titanic re-release is a perfect date movie 21 jump street is alright the hunger games could work, so could wrath of the titans [editline]10th April 2012[/editline] mirror mirror might be ok[/QUOTE] Totally agree with titanic if you like romances. Obviously a date movie too. 21 Jump street was really funny, so if you're both into comedies you'll love this. The Hunger Games is a great movie, but it has *some* gore in it. Mirror mirror sucked apparently, I wouldn't see it.
it's 17 not 18, and most of the time its perfectly acceptable to get in if you buy tickets ahead of time or go to a nice theater, seeing as they are just guidelines
[QUOTE=Prez;35504062]Totally agree with titanic if you like romances. Obviously a date movie too. 21 Jump street was really funny, so if you're both into comedies you'll love this. The Hunger Games is a great movie, but it has *some* gore in it. Mirror mirror sucked apparently, I wouldn't see it.[/QUOTE] I'd recommend 21 Jump Street or Titanic, personally. I went to see Hunger Games with my date because they were a fan, but if you're not, it's pretty weird. Also, shaky-cam as fuck.
We've decided to go see Titanic, now I just need dating tips. I've never done a date where it was just us two before, plus it's a first for me personally so I'm a bit nervous.
[QUOTE=redBadger;35504420]We've decided to go see Titanic, now I just need dating tips. I've never done a date where it was just us two before, plus it's a first for me personally so I'm a bit nervous.[/QUOTE] Movie dates are easy. For me it's just trying not to riff on what we were watching too much :v: But you'll really just be talking during previews and credits, depending on the type of person, so besides not hogging food it should be pretty simple.
sometimes, the only way i'll go see a movie with my girlfriend is if i'm ripping on them the whole time there's no other way i could sit through hours of breaking dawn part 1 and dear john [editline]9th April 2012[/editline] "i have decided that if he is a boy i shall name him E.J.... for edward jacob." what the FUCK edward how are you not so weirded out by how obsessed she still is with her ex godDAMMIT he needs to ask for advice in LA
By your tickets with an online service such as Fandango. Theaters only card for R movies when purchasing the tickets (don't quote me, that's how it is at my local theater) so no one should give you trouble if you already have them. Besides 17 is the age for R rated films right?
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35504620]sometimes, the only way i'll go see a movie with my girlfriend is if i'm ripping on them the whole time there's no other way i could sit through hours of breaking dawn part 1 and dear john [editline]9th April 2012[/editline] "i have decided that if he is a boy i shall name him E.J.... for edward jacob." what the FUCK edward how are you not so weirded out by how obsessed she still is with her ex godDAMMIT he needs to ask for advice in LA[/QUOTE] theres a huuuuuge difference between a first date movie and a girlfriend movie nobody wants to hear someone whining about the details of how a movie sucks on a first date
haha well yeah, obviously go see a movie you'll both enjoy for a first date
And my girl is leaving on a vacation tomorrow and we were going to hang out tonight, but I decided to get into a screaming match with my parents over some (in retrospect) utterly incidental bullshit. I feel awful for ruining my parents night and my last night with her for spring break. What a dumbass I am. Not really looking for replies just wanted to get this out somewhere. [editline]9th April 2012[/editline] My parents aren't letting me out or have her over tonight as consequence for being a dipshit.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35504134]it's 17 not 18, and most of the time its perfectly acceptable to get in if you buy tickets ahead of time or go to a nice theater, seeing as they are just guidelines[/QUOTE] Be careful though, some theaters are more strict than others. Most of the theaters in my area are very relaxed about the age minimum ("uhh, I left my ID at home"), but there's one that regularly cards me twice (both when getting the ticket and at the door). The didn't let me into an R rated movie a week before I turned 17 so I had to go get a refund and all that jazz. Even a few weeks ago I got carded there for 21 Jump Street. (I'm 18 with facial hair that makes me look older)
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;35504661]By your tickets with an online service such as Fandango. Theaters only card for R movies when purchasing the tickets (don't quote me, that's how it is at my local theater) so no one should give you trouble if you already have them. Besides 17 is the age for R rated films right?[/QUOTE] The girl i saw a movie today with, forgot to bring her ID, and only found out when it was her turn to buy her ticket. So i exchanged my ticket, got one for "Clash of the titans" or some shit. She did too, she felt really bad, and as soon as we cleared passed the guy at the ticket booth, i turned to her and said "we're still seeing that movie". No one even checked our ticket though. What i don't get is why we got carded when we were obviously 17. I don't understand rating enforcements at theaters, i mean hell i'm trying to give you my money, take it and give me a ticket, no questions asked.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;35506367]The girl i saw a movie today with, forgot to bring her ID, and only found out when it was her turn to buy her ticket. So i exchanged my ticket, got one for "Clash of the titans" or some shit. She did too, she felt really bad, and as soon as we cleared passed the guy at the ticket booth, i turned to her and said "we're still seeing that movie". No one even checked our ticket though. What i don't get is why we got carded when we were obviously 17. I don't understand rating enforcements at theaters, i mean hell i'm trying to give you my money, take it and give me a ticket, no questions asked.[/QUOTE] Or you know, you could've bought her the ticket and just get on with it.
[QUOTE=gufu;35506397]Or you know, you could've bought her the ticket and just get on with it.[/QUOTE] the guy wouldn't of let me, he was kind of a dick. Sort of would of been obvious. He even straight up said if we wanted another ticket he needed to see an ID from her.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;35506414]the guy wouldn't of let me, he was kind of a dick. Sort of would of been obvious. He even straight up said if we wanted another ticket he needed to see an ID from her.[/QUOTE] Alright, yeah, if the guy needs two ids when you buy two tickets, he's certainly a dick.
Guys, I have a friend who I've been friends with since grade 5 and we have been in every class together for all schooling since then. We originally met because we had the same interest in some video game and talked about it a lot. We grew up kind of in our own little bubble and didn't really meet new people and especially didn't talk to girls since we always hung out and always had video games to talk about. We were kind of nerdy and socially awkward, but it was fine for a while. Then high school came around and I started maturing and video games were becoming less of an interest, and while I was still a huge geek with computers, programming and video games in my privacy, I started wearing more stylish clothes and being more aware about my image in public. High school ends, I've never had a girlfriend and I'm very socially awkward, and it's time for University. I go through my first year of University and funny enough, me and my friend are in almost all of the same classes. At this point I have almost no interest in video games (Except League of Legends), but my friend still has an obsession with video games and is literally the only thing he talks about. I talk about the weather, he changes the subject to video games--you get the point. At this point, my fashion has changed greatly from high school as I've matured and trying to pick up some ladies, but every time I sit next to a girl my friend sits down at talks about World of Warcraft or something and destroys any chances of the girl talking to me. So, I'm in university with NO experience with girls and a friend who bores me with his conversations and repels girls. I can't just avoid him or ignore him because we've been friends for so long, and I'm bad at making other friends so he's really all I have. I'm not trying to put all the blame on him. I am definitely socially awkward and bad at making my own friends In fact a lot of the problem is with me, but its hard to break out of my bubble with him around. Anyway, right now I just really want a girlfriend or another friend that I can hang out with, but I have no experience with girls and I've dug myself a really deep hole I need to get out of. How can I break out of this bubble and get my social life rolling? This is probably the last year I will be with my friend, should I just go with the flow next year, or should I actively try to get out of my bubble? I think once your socially awkward, its impossible to escape it :( If anyone took the time to read the whole thing, its much appreciated.
Find some parties.
[QUOTE=redBadger;35504036]We're both under the age of 18 and you have to have an adult/parent with you to see R movies i think.[/QUOTE] America is so bizarre..
[QUOTE=thisBrad;35506684]Guys, I have a friend who I've been friends with since grade 5 and we have been in every class together for all schooling since then. We originally met because we had the same interest in some video game and talked about it a lot. We grew up kind of in our own little bubble and didn't really meet new people and especially didn't talk to girls since we always hung out and always had video games to talk about. We were kind of nerdy and socially awkward, but it was fine for a while. Then high school came around and I started maturing and video games were becoming less of an interest, and while I was still a huge geek with computers, programming and video games in my privacy, I started wearing more stylish clothes and being more aware about my image in public. High school ends, I've never had a girlfriend and I'm very socially awkward, and it's time for University. I go through my first year of University and funny enough, me and my friend are in almost all of the same classes. At this point I have almost no interest in video games (Except League of Legends), but my friend still has an obsession with video games and is literally the only thing he talks about. I talk about the weather, he changes the subject to video games--you get the point. At this point, my fashion has changed greatly from high school as I've matured and trying to pick up some ladies, but every time I sit next to a girl my friend sits down at talks about World of Warcraft or something and destroys any chances of the girl talking to me. So, I'm in university with NO experience with girls and a friend who bores me with his conversations and repels girls. I can't just avoid him or ignore him because we've been friends for so long, and I'm bad at making other friends so he's really all I have. I'm not trying to put all the blame on him. I am definitely socially awkward and bad at making my own friends In fact a lot of the problem is with me, but its hard to break out of my bubble with him around. Anyway, right now I just really want a girlfriend or another friend that I can hang out with, but I have no experience with girls and I've dug myself a really deep hole I need to get out of. How can I break out of this bubble and get my social life rolling? This is probably the last year I will be with my friend, should I just go with the flow next year, or should I actively try to get out of my bubble? I think once your socially awkward, its impossible to escape it :( If anyone took the time to read the whole thing, its much appreciated.[/QUOTE] I feel for your situation. The best thing you can do for your friend and yourself is to be assertive with him. You "need" to speak up and tell him that what he is doing is getting on your nerves and infringing on your life. Obviously be more descriptive with your feelings, but make sure he knows that what he is doing is impacting you in a negative way. Don't be cruel, don't be harsh, just make sure he knows. Also, for another conversation in the future with your friend you should probably talk to him about the video game thing. It could be extremely beneficial to him and you may learn something new about him that he wouldn't reveal otherwise. Also, it is entirely possible to escape from social awkwardness. Almost every single one of my posts in social threads is that you can learn to be social. I overcame social anxiety (aka fear being with people) and was completely socially inept going into my senior year of high school. You can overcome your awkwardness and you can learn how to be a better socializer. It just takes persistence and consistent exposure to situations that are a little bit outside of your comfort zone. Just for reference, watch some of the SimplePickUp guy's bios. They were extremely reclusive or had no idea what the fuck they were doing. Just remember you can always learn how to improve yourself.
I'd say join some clubs and extracurricular activities that you're interested in, that way it'll be easier to meet new people since you'll have a common interest to talk about. Also for next school year, you could try talking to the people (guy or girl) who sit down next to you, especially if you have large lecture classes. That way if you don't hit it off you probably won't see them, and if you do, you'll have an acquaintance to talk to about the class and classwork/potential friend. In one of my classes the professor asked us to talk to the person sitting on either side of us. One of the guys I barely ended up knowing and he also didn't show up to future classes often, the other guy became a good friend.
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