• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
Yeah, except she probably doesn't think of that and has some other bullshit reason. I'd say keep talking to her, preferably in real life where she can't just disconnect. Don't talk about why you're not talking, keep off that topic for a bit. First talk about things that are easy, what you get along on. Reconnect and hopefully whatever bullshit reason she isn't talking to you will be forgotten or resolved by forcing it.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;35603408]Yeah, except she probably doesn't think of that and has some other bullshit reason. I'd say keep talking to her, preferably in real life where she can't just disconnect. Don't talk about why you're not talking, keep off that topic for a bit. First talk about things that are easy, what you get along on. Reconnect and hopefully whatever bullshit reason she isn't talking to you will be forgotten or resolved by forcing it.[/QUOTE] Already tried and failed. I would see her in real life and talk to her. She would make small talk with me but I could tell she really just didn't want anything to do with me and then she would never really answer calls or texts. [editline]17th April 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35603377]how old are you, she seems pretty immature She could communicate when she's mad instead of just ignoring you[/QUOTE] We're in college which is why the whole thing seems very immature to me as well. I had to jump through hoops just to find out what the deal was.
I've decided to be cool and popular. Updates to follow.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;35601884]Just pretend I read the rest of the thread. Maybe I'll go back some time. I'm here for personal research of male opinion. What do guys really think of being asked out? I've honestly asked out almost all of the guys I have dated, and I can't decide what guys think of that. I have more but i'll leave it at that as a way to get an idea of the thread I guess. Sorry for likely off topic.[/QUOTE] I'd say it's pretty on topic for the thread And it depends on the manner and intent of the girl really. If it comes across as "I think you're attractive so I wanna see if we might work together without beating around the bush" then it's pretty independent and cool. If it's more like "I've been plucking up the courage to do this for a while and your answer will either make me miserable or we'll be instant sweethearts" then it's a turnoff. Anything in between and it would come down to how well/long you've known each other and all that. Much the same if the guy is the one to ask, I would imagine?
Went to the club for the first time the other night with some friends. Now they all wont stop asking me to come out again :v: I tell them all I'm broke and they offer to pay for me Feels good man I just need to somehow attract girls instead of repel them :rolleyes:
[QUOTE=thisBrad;35604643]Went to the club for the first time the other night with some friends. Now they all wont stop asking me to come out again :v: I tell them all I'm broke and they offer to pay for me Feels good man I just need to somehow attract girls instead of repel them :rolleyes:[/QUOTE] No one ever invites me to clubs :suicide:
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35603654]I've decided to be cool and popular. Updates to follow.[/QUOTE] Dont do it in a douchey way.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35603654]I've decided to be cool and popular. Updates to follow.[/QUOTE] Dont start selling pot to 12 year olds.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;35603654]I've decided to be cool and popular. Updates to follow.[/QUOTE] Buy a Chicago bulls snapback hat and you will fit in right away
Dying alone can't be all bad. Right? RIGHT?!?!?!?
[QUOTE=Seith;35591282]I actually enjoyed what you did. With the right tonality, [i]"and told her that it was a shame that she couldn't come as I was genuinely looking forward to having a real conversation with her for once.[/i] is quite brilliant. You turned her into a superficial person; she showed interest, and was then unwilling to actually meet up and get to know each other (for whatever reasons she has) making her looking as she was only following what appeared on the surface (shallow person) and isn't really a person who'll spend her time getting to know you and have a real conversation. That was pickup right here my friend. Also, I'm not so sure you were following any guidelines. Being "aloof" is not the key to pickup, the key is confidence. There's a difference between the two. Women need emotions, they need fun. Most women don't go along well with that approach. The questions is.... did you setup an actual date with the coffee girl?[/QUOTE] You're right, and I guess the point I was getting at is when one surrounds themselves with those sort of ideas, especially someone who is inexperienced or new to this sphere of social interaction (as I was when I was first exposed to it), it's easy to get things like that wrong. Like you said, confidence is clearly the biggest key, and so obviously you don't have to always appear to be this distant, nonchalant type of figure just to appear confident, and you can actually be quite direct and honest about your feelings without being 'too interested.' As to your question though, I did not. In retrospect, perhaps I should have but at the time I felt it was enough to tell her to text me when she figures out her money/phone situation. A friend is suggesting I should still be the one to take the initiative again with her, but I dunno, despite what I've just said it still feels a bit pushy since I've continuously been the one to initiate shit with her, it feels somewhat relieving to actually leave that to her for once, you know? What do you think? In any case, I'll see how I'm feeling after this date on Friday with this other girl.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;35607264]You're right, and I guess the point I was getting at is when one surrounds themselves with those sort of ideas, especially someone who is inexperienced or new to this sphere of social interaction (as I was when I was first exposed to it), it's easy to get things like that wrong. Like you said, confidence is clearly the biggest key, and so obviously you don't have to always appear to be this distant, nonchalant type of figure just to appear confident, and you can actually be quite direct and honest about your feelings without being 'too interested.' As to your question though, I did not. In retrospect, perhaps I should have but at the time I felt it was enough to tell her to text me when she figures out her money/phone situation. A friend is suggesting I should still be the one to take the initiative again with her, but I dunno, despite what I've just said it still feels a bit pushy since I've continuously been the one to initiate shit with her, it feels somewhat relieving to actually leave that to her for once, you know? What do you think? In any case, I'll see how I'm feeling after this date on Friday with this other girl.[/QUOTE] I guess if you are feeling pushy, maybe it's because you are; Usually, when a person uses honesty is because he wants to "get it over with", spill his entire heart out and feel better, let her do the work and decide for you. But, even if you were pushy, it doesn't matter. You want to date her, then stand behind your intentions and don't back off. even if you made a mistake - that's how you learn and maybe in this case, conquer. Don't be afraid to lose her, as she wasn't yours to begin with. You wanted to get to know her, then call her tonight even and set a firm date (preferably for the day after) and maybe she'll and you will surprise you and yourself. Few tips for the next time you want to setup a date with a girl; - make the conversation fun, goal-less. Set a date after you've conversed for a bit, be nonchalant, no need to rush things. - Decide everything. Location, time and make it cool. There are a few more... but let's keep it quiet for now.
Mmm I know, but I honestly don't want to screw this up. I know that this isn't exactly the best idea but I really do feel this girl is worth it. I don't know her yet, sure, and I'm conscious of the fact that there are other girls out there who are probably better or whatever (and clearly I'm continuing to pursue other options whilst taking an interest in her), but I just find her particularly interesting and unlike most of the girls I have either previously interacted with or am currently surrounded with. She's also cute as fuck. I think I'll leave it a few days, maybe after the date on Friday. It was only a day or two ago that I told her to text me, and I won't really even be free for a while anyway. When I do next talk to her though, I'll make sure to set up something firm.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;35608406]Mmm I know, but I honestly don't want to screw this up. I know that this isn't exactly the best idea but I really do feel this girl is worth it. I don't know her yet, sure, and I'm conscious of the fact that there are other girls out there who are probably better or whatever (and clearly I'm continuing to pursue other options whilst taking an interest in her), but I just find her particularly interesting and unlike most of the girls I have either previously interacted with or am currently surrounded with. She's also cute as fuck. I think I'll leave it a few days, maybe after the date on Friday. It was only a day or two ago that I told her to text me, and I won't really even be free for a while anyway. When I do next talk to her though, I'll make sure to set up something firm.[/QUOTE] If you start thinking about not fucking things up, you're in the wrong mood. You WILL fuck it up. Getting girls only works when you don't give a fuck about them and treat them just as you would any stranger. Too many compliments makes you look like a douche. Too many 'let me help cuz i'm an all-time gentleman' makes you look like you're trying too hard to get sex. Too much talking, and you're swapping roles with a bitchy woman. Also, girls dig men that act like men, not pretending to be men. You aren't a man by showing off your muscles or your smoking skills. Instead, being confident and being independant (this part is pretty delicate, but you can't say to a girl, 'oh my hands hurt so bad i was at the gym today', for example) Also, as I said, getting girls always works when you don't put effort in it to the point that you're thinking too hard. That's why all ugly bitches be sticking to you, cuz you ignore them. Also, what might work is that you're indifferent about girls but nicer to the uglier ones when there's a cute one around. If she gets no attention she'll sometimes go even up to being your girlfriend. Bitches hate being ignored. (this won't work if the chick doesn't minimally dig you) Also, lose the friendzone attitude. If you're listening to her and you fell into that, but you don't want it, just ignore the girl and move on, nothing is going to happen. If in a couple of months, SHE comes to you, you are lucky. If not, you moved on and banging 10 bitches at that time. You are retarded if you want a relationship but you keep lying to yourself being in the friendzone will help. It kills all your sexual lust for women. [editline]17th April 2012[/editline] From experience.
One of my server's assistants gave me his number the other day without me even asking for it. I have yet to put it in my phone. He's nice but I'm not really interested. And he's one of those 'pester you until you say yes' types, like that other guy from my other job I've talked about before. (Who still texts me three times a day asking me to hang out.) I guess there was just a point where I stopped being an awkward person and started being interesting or something. I don't even know.
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[QUOTE=Pascall;35609021] I guess there was just a point where I stopped being an awkward person and started being interesting or something.[/QUOTE] I've always thought as myself as an awkward person but I guess I'm not? I'm not known to be easily approachable since when I'm just standing around I kind of have a tense stance that became a habit after playing football in high school. Last Saturday I was working at a farmer's market for the bakery I work for. I'm not sure what it is but I had a lot of people talking to me just about the most random stuff while I was there. I even unintentionally got three numbers, after being asked for mine, from a group of girls that kept coming buy buying random cookies which is odd since I work for a DOG bakery and none of them seemed to be dog owning type. Maybe they just like to eat dog treats??
It worked, I'm cool and popular now.
So I'm working on boosing my self esteem, any advice?
[QUOTE=tehMuffinMan;35612057]So I'm working on boosing my self esteem, any advice?[/QUOTE] be social
Ive been buying more fashionable clothes for the past few years and it seemed to have helped my confidence
there's this cute chick that goes to my university she went to the same high school as I did too good basis for starting convo?
possibly yes
[QUOTE=Protocol7;35612738]there's this cute chick that goes to my university she went to the same high school as I did too good basis for starting convo?[/QUOTE] Everything is a good basis to start a conversation, it's more about confidence than your similarities. There are people at uni who I know from previous classes, pub nights, primary school etc. but I just don't talk to them because I worry it might be awkward. It's mostly confidence.
There are three people from my year in high school who are now at the same university as me. I've bumped into them all a few times and had a friendly chat, but I've not actually bothered to go and see them once :v:
I bumped into a dude from high school at the coffeeshop today. He didn't recognize me, because I'm so much skinnier now (and also have a beard), but [I]I[/I] recognized [I]him[/I]. He was on his lunch break, so we sat and chatted for a few minutes. Cool guy. Gay as daisies, though.
heterosexual males should always have at least one gay friend.
Went to my first party over spring break. Got trashed and high. I'm still riding a mental high from just partying with the "cool kids", basically everything socially awkward me was dreaming about in freshmen year. (now a junior) Do you guys have any tips on 4/20, i.e. what to do as this is my 3rd time smoking, and my 1st time smoking with a large group? Don't want to make a fool of myself
[QUOTE=thisispain;35615951]heterosexual males should always have at least one gay friend.[/QUOTE] He's the only outwardly gay guy I know, so let's hope he fits the stereotype of having tons of super hot babe friends and also has a good eye for fashion and lots of helpful styling advice, because I lack pretty much all of those things! I guess if he's not a raging stereotype, I'll have to find another gay friend who [I]is.[/I] "Sorry," I'll say. "You're just not gay enough."
[QUOTE=thisispain;35615951]heterosexual males should always have at least one gay friend.[/QUOTE] can I substitute transgendered friends [editline]17th April 2012[/editline] oh wait I have a lesbian friend too does that count
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