• Social Anxiety
    138 replies, posted
[QUOTE=ACupXOfXNoodles;23530829] Seriously guys, You know your socially akward and cant talk to be people, just admit it. It pisses me off when you guys do that to get fake sympathy. "Ohh, It's a sewious medical condition Guies!!11!"[/QUOTE] medical condition doesn't mean anything, you're just assuming that it does
[QUOTE=MultiPurpose;23527340]I really need to come out of my shell, but I really don't want to.[/QUOTE] Your avatar fits this perfectly. I often prefer my own company, and i NEVER participate in group activities. I can only work by myself, because in groups, they always try to do it their way and end up screwing up, when i could have done better by myself. Like in science, the groups always fuck with the bunsen burners, but if i'm by myself, i actually do the goddamn experiment.
[QUOTE=Gik;23526162]To me that's like saying to a guy with a severed spinal cord "stop being such a pussy and get up and start walking!" Honestly, can people be anymore tactless? ¦([/QUOTE] No will-power means you won't even begin to start on the path to getting past this.
OP summed me up nicely, there are only two people that enable me to be myself around. Yes, I would like be normal and talk with my family regularly but [i]I can't.[/i] Although, I am reentering public school soon, and I think that will help me very much. Actually scratch that shit, I just went to the mall with my family and had a great time. This old lady asked me to get something down from a high shelf and I did so without any feeling of awkwardness or anything, she said thank you I, said you're welcome. Bought a golf club to punt shit around the yard with.
i used to have severe social anxiety, but then i met mary jane and magic mushrooms [QUOTE=BagMinge101;23531788]Don't impose social groups on yourself. Just try to go out there and make friends. The world isn't going to care nor end if you flub something or appear a bit nervous.[/QUOTE] SA is mental disorder, when the same thoughts patterns repeat in your mind over and over every day its a downhill slope. it takes a lot of willpower or drugs to get back up that hill and stay on top of it
Oh the sun is too bright!
-snip- ....
gawd. these were awkward to read.
[img]http://artruch.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/vodka.jpg?w=600[/img]
I'm exactly what OP says. Everyday i sit in front of my computer, i barely talk to anyone, not even my parents. I can't look them in the eyes because i think they will think that i'm sad or mad at them. It's complicated. I don't search for a hug or any sob moments, i just tell it how it is. Once in a while i go outside for practise with a family member, only on nights since there is not that many people outside by then. If someone goes past me i feel like that person thinks i'm stupid and walks strange and whatnot. I even begin to sweat if i walk past someone. TL;DR - I have Social phobia, don't get out a lot, blah blah blah.
[QUOTE=BagMinge101;23525811]No, you're just a shut in who uses some bullshit medical excuse to make himself feel better about his lack of social skills. Seriously, this is the 15th thread about how we should feel sorry for x because they are socially awkward.[/QUOTE] That's completely untrue. Awkward =/= Anxiety. It has nothing to do with the way you act, though it can manifest physically and often does, but it is the way you feel. Most of the time you wouldn't even know the person had it if you were simply around them. [editline]04:28AM[/editline] [QUOTE=lolnubs;23531904]Your avatar fits this perfectly. I often prefer my own company, and i NEVER participate in group activities. I can only work by myself, because in groups, they always try to do it their way and end up screwing up, when i could have done better by myself. Like in science, the groups always fuck with the bunsen burners, but if i'm by myself, i actually do the goddamn experiment.[/QUOTE] I fucking hate being the leader of a group, but always ending up being the leader because no one else can.
[QUOTE=Roswell34;23526948]op may have social anxiety but it seems half of facepunch is anti-social figure the difference[/QUOTE] First of all, don't get the impression that social anxiety is synonymous with being anti-social! Despite being scared of going out and talking to people I am actually quite a nice, amiable person who can get along with others well; most of the people I know say I'm a great friend. At least I'm not completely insensitive and arrogant as the trolls here on FP are. God, I hope they don't speak to people in public this way! :|
Practically everyone who does not have social anxiety cannot understand what its like.
I had this once when I was about 13. I got really nervous around kids at school that I didn't know because I thought they'd dislike me if I acted stupidly. Eventually I befriended a few and it went away. Just relax and hang around good friends, it'll go away in no time. Probably.
[QUOTE=Lightbourne;23526242]Noone said it would be easy or simple, why are you assuming the solution has to be?[/QUOTE] Also: "it may be a problem now but it can just as EASILY be something of your past" Stop contradicting yourself! :) [editline]12:33PM[/editline] [QUOTE=Rombishead;23537378]Practically everyone who does not have social anxiety cannot understand what its like.[/QUOTE] And automatically assume that it is very simple to resolve! :) [editline]12:35PM[/editline] [QUOTE=Murkat;23537415]I had this once when I was about 13. I got really nervous around kids at school that I didn't know because I thought they'd dislike me if I acted stupidly. Eventually I befriended a few and it went away. Just relax and hang around good friends, it'll go away in no time. Probably.[/QUOTE] I do hang out with good friends, occationally. But this "no time" you speak of has now been approximately 10 years! [editline]12:38PM[/editline] [QUOTE=thisispain;23528496]good luck thinking that when you get cancer[/QUOTE] Ironically, some of the people I know have died, not because of the cancer, but because of the medicine hospitals use to treat it (chemo, radio and surgery). I'll take my chance with anti-cancer vitamin B17 IF I ever get cancer thankyou very much!
I suffer from the extreme version of this, with the panic attacks. One day I was fine. Not popular or cool, but I was fine. The next, I had a panic attack for a reason I'm not sure of. I'm not normally any different in quiet places, but crowded areas make me feel sick, dizzy and light headed like I'm going to pass out, as well as breathing difficulties like hyperventilating. Before anyone goes "lol get over it go outside fucking shut-in", I'd like to say this: take your biggest fear. Now, imagine that everyday you had to spend an hour or two locked in a room with this thing. That's what I have to deal with. I'm seeing a psychiatrist to try and help me but so far, nothing much is happening. It got so bad I wanted to kill myself because of it. Honestly, I'm going to get boxes from people who think I'm pathetic and weak. Oh well. Haters gonna hate. [editline]12:50PM[/editline] [QUOTE=Gik;23537479]I do hang out with good friends, occationally. But this "no time" you speak of has now been approximately 10 years![/QUOTE] 10 years? Please for the love of God, be exaggerating.
Disagree with me if you will, but even though i had all of the 'symptoms' you explained in the OP when i was younger - i refuse to believe SA is a genuine medical disorder. People are so happy to slap the label of a medical disorder on things today that they just don't mean anything anymore. I shit you not you could give me any part of a persons personality, action they do, thoughts and feelings they have sometimes, opinion they have about something; and i could say "That is because you have *insert medical disorder*". It's like parents who take their kids to the doctors because they argue with adults, refuse to follow instructions and are purposefully annoying. Instead of just having half a brain and saying "The kid is a little shit and needs a slap" they say "Oh no it's ok he has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It's not his fault he can't help it, here give him these drugs". It's fucking incredible, i shit you not things like 'ODD' is genuinely recognised by the medical community and that fact alone is plain retarded.
I got social anxiety..
[QUOTE=GrimBloodyFable;23537728]I suffer from the extreme version of this, with the panic attacks. One day I was fine. Not popular or cool, but I was fine. The next, I had a panic attack for a reason I'm not sure of. I'm not normally any different in quiet places, but crowded areas make me feel sick, dizzy and light headed like I'm going to pass out, as well as breathing difficulties like hyperventilating. Before anyone goes "lol get over it go outside fucking shut-in", I'd like to say this: take your biggest fear. Now, imagine that everyday you had to spend an hour or two locked in a room with this thing. That's what I have to deal with. I'm seeing a psychiatrist to try and help me but so far, nothing much is happening. It got so bad I wanted to kill myself because of it. Honestly, I'm going to get boxes from people who think I'm pathetic and weak. Oh well. Haters gonna hate. [editline]12:50PM[/editline] 10 years? Please for the love of God, be exaggerating.[/QUOTE] What is it you're scared of when you go out in public? My guess is nothing, the only reason you don't want to go in public is related to the symptoms you experience, like panic attacks as you said. That certainly is a hard way to live. Try to convince yourself that there's nothing to be afraid of (there's really not), no harm is going to come of you, etc. Maybe you'll be able to get over it. Same as people with phobias.
I find that using the internet and being anonymous on it is playing a large role in SA.
I felt the same for a painful time in my life. This kind of shit ruined my social life for I don't even know how long. I was lucky to find the friends I did, and I was lucky to find some interest in theater. My friends forced me to be out going, and to want to be with them in outgoing situations. Funny thing about that is that I will never think of them as good friends, but they were the right people at the right time. Theater was also important, it forced me out on stage, which was doable only because I was playing a character - not myself. Somehow the confidence I gained there translated into confidence with my social life. It's important people realize that there is a medical term for this. It helps people to recognize that 1) they're not alone in this matter and 2) many of the less severe cases can have a reduced impact when properly treated. Don't be misinformed, though, there are also very intense levels to this disorder categorized as Agoraphobia, or "fear of the marketplace." These are the people that literally will not leave their homes under any condition. This form of social anxiety can only be treated with intensive therapy, and the person may not progress, progress then relapse, or only progress so far. It's hardly ever a 'cure.' In fact, in the world of psychology, we seldom have 'cures' for disorders. Most disorders require a level of maintenance or they will return. Sometimes disorders will only last for a specific phase of life (i.e. adolescence, early adulthood, etc.), but this leads people to believe that they're not disorders, but rather natural progressions. That belief only further works against the victim. For example, depression is relatively common amongst teenagers. Depression can severely affect performance in school, and in some cases may lead to life threatening scenarios (drugs, suicide, etc.) which take out very long term consequences. The fact that often times teenage depression fades when they move out of adolescence is not reason to neglect the present. Unfortunately, thanks to assholes like Freud, there's still a huge stigma attached to Psychology, which was largely a crackpot science up until the 70's. Until very recently Psychology has been more misinformation and simple conjecture than theories and fact. But now we realize that many of the disorders that humans suffer have better and more effective treatments than holy water, drugs, or a very large paddle. The public should really learn to use to resources we have at hand. Hell, most public schools in America has some sort of counseling set up for their students. Also, there is so much information available that we don't really have much of an excuse for the mistreatment teachers and parents often inflict upon children. If your concern is that people will use medical terms as an excuse for their behavior then you're incredibly misguided. Will people do that? Absolutely. But thankfully, this spread of knowledge also allows people who thought their pain was 'normal' to understand that they could be living a healthier and more fulfilling life. The problem is that most people find it impossible to empathize with this situation. Most people don't understand what it's like when someone suffers excessive pain and feels that it's normal. I don't know how much I've personally progressed because I don't have anything to measure myself against. I might still be more unhappy that the average person, but I wouldn't really know. I find it hard to talk about my own struggles with anyone because I've never been particularly close to many other people. And those who I am close to I don't want to burden. But I do know that I'm happier than I used to be. It's a strange experience looking back because what I thought was so perfectly normal was certainly not. I was suffering from a condition, and I didn't even realize it at the time. It's so strange. Now I am better, maybe not completely, but I've never been one to complain much about how I feel. Cheers to a better life that may still be improving. Please note that social anxiety =/= introversion. Social anxiety is something that actually negatively affects a persons happiness and well being whereas introversion is just personality type that prefers a little more solitude.
[QUOTE=Roswell34;23526948]op may have social anxiety but it seems half of facepunch is anti-social figure the difference[/QUOTE] More like half of FP is wnb-hardasses who are just waiting to jump up and shout "lol ur a loser" when someone makes a thread like this
[QUOTE=BagMinge101;23525811]No, you're just a shut in who uses some bullshit medical excuse to make himself feel better about his lack of social skills. Seriously, this is the 15th thread about how we should feel sorry for x because they are socially awkward.[/QUOTE] Well its clear you know fuck all about psychology.
I have this, but I have learned to live with it. It's hard for me to go out to a party, but when I do I have fun. I find that if I've been invited to something, I'll always look for an excuse to get out of it in the last minute. My friends really want me to come to stuff, so they keep the pressure on (thank god for that) and make me go eventually. This started as I was bullied in school, and my parents didn't think I should switch school to get a fresh start. Later I got depressed, suicide thoughts and felt like those emos (about 4 years ago), and I even walked out on in a forest where a guy had killed himself a week before that, and sat on a rock nearby his death location and was thinking about my life, and if it was worth living. Hell, I walked back home and I'm happy I did. 2 years after that my life turned around, I was on another school, got loads of new friends, a girlfriend and so on. Today I just enjoy my life as it is, no hard thoughts other than that I hate my social phobia, but alcohol fixes it when going out.
I have Aspergers syndrome but still i have alot of friends, girls and boys. I have no problems with my social skills, only in some rare situations which are new to me.
I'm fine with leading, talking to a crowd and confrontation, but I find things like ordering food or talking on the phone daunting.
[QUOTE=Jallen;23541372]I'm fine with leading, talking to a crowd and confrontation, but I find things like ordering food or talking on the phone daunting.[/QUOTE] Only thing i find really scary for whatever reason , is talking to people in stores, buying stuff, but if you just act like you're not scared, people won't think you are.
[QUOTE=Dr. Oswald;23538424]Disagree with me if you will, but even though i had all of the 'symptoms' you explained in the OP when i was younger - i refuse to believe SA is a genuine medical disorder. People are so happy to slap the label of a medical disorder on things today that they just don't mean anything anymore. I shit you not you could give me any part of a persons personality, action they do, thoughts and feelings they have sometimes, opinion they have about something; and i could say "That is because you have *insert medical disorder*". It's like parents who take their kids to the doctors because they argue with adults, refuse to follow instructions and are purposefully annoying. Instead of just having half a brain and saying "The kid is a little shit and needs a slap" they say "Oh no it's ok he has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It's not his fault he can't help it, here give him these drugs". It's fucking incredible, i shit you not things like 'ODD' is genuinely recognised by the medical community and that fact alone is plain retarded.[/QUOTE] I agree with you at some point, but for people who have chronic SA, to the degree that they suffer panic attacks in public and extreme anxiety, I would class that as a genuine disorder. I'll admit that my SA isn't this severe, and I didn't really call mine a "disorder" in the original post, I just called it an anxiety/condition. But there are some "mental disorders" that are ficticious, ODD possibly being one of them, and there's a new one called "Orthorexia Nervosa" Which is allegedly an "eating disorder" characterised by the focus of eating healthy foods as opposed to unhealthy foods. A lot of diseases are clearly fabricated so the pharmaceutical companies can sell their drugs. [editline]05:18PM[/editline] [QUOTE=Blackwater;23540813]I have this, but I have learned to live with it. It's hard for me to go out to a party, but when I do I have fun. I find that if I've been invited to something, I'll always look for an excuse to get out of it in the last minute. My friends really want me to come to stuff, so they keep the pressure on (thank god for that) and make me go eventually. This started as I was bullied in school, and my parents didn't think I should switch school to get a fresh start. Later I got depressed, suicide thoughts and felt like those emos (about 4 years ago), and I even walked out on in a forest where a guy had killed himself a week before that, and sat on a rock nearby his death location and was thinking about my life, and if it was worth living. Hell, I walked back home and I'm happy I did. 2 years after that my life turned around, I was on another school, got loads of new friends, a girlfriend and so on. Today I just enjoy my life as it is, no hard thoughts other than that I hate my social phobia, but alcohol fixes it when going out.[/QUOTE] I'm glad to hear you've gotten better. People must realise that things always change no matter what, so suicide is not worth it. From what you've written it sounds that you will improve more and more over time. :D
[QUOTE=Gik;23525646]. When I’m out in the open, I habitually scratch my head or my arm, put my hands in and out of my pockets and pretend to read messages on my mobile phone, because I feel afraid and awkward in walking normally with my hands by my sides. The list of bizarre symptoms goes on. [/QUOTE] Pretty much everyone I know does that. For some reason I have a thing about workplaces. I really hate having to talk to strangers who are at work, eg bus drivers, shop keepers, tech support etc. I'm fine with meetng new people and in other social situations, but I haven't got a clue why I hate talking to people at work so much. It's mostly the phone now though, I've been putting off ringing someone back for like a week and a half now...
If I have to do a presentation infront of a class, my hands start to shake alot, if I make a mistake its almost as bad as having parkinson's disease and has on some occations lost me marks in school, it pisses me off to no end and no matter what I do to try and stop it, it just keeps coming back. I don't know if this is social anxiety because it doesn't happen becuase of nervousness, its more like a panic attack, just thought I'd get it out there.
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