• Social Anxiety
    138 replies, posted
Have an [IMG]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/rating/information.png[/IMG], OP.
my dad was the same way, he would avoid school but eventually he grew out of it from exposure. i have a bit of anxiety but not so much that it stops me from going to public places op if you expose yourself to what you're afraid of constantly you'll grow out of it eventually
I think I have this, but I'm not sure. The past few months every time I leave my house to see friends I get extremely painful nausea and usually end up puking when I get there (doesn't help that my friends don't understand how bad I feel and usually start being dicks or rubbing stuff in my face that makes me feel even worse). I don't feel nervous at all in my mind, I don't have anything to worry about, I'm not thinking, "Oh I hope I don't mess this up" or something like that, I just try to relax and clear my mind but no matter WHAT I think or how much I try to relax, nothing helps. I absolutely can't stand the pain and sometimes I have to stick my fingers down my throat to get relief, even if it's only for 5 minutes or so, it helps :(. I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was a little kid, so that could have something to do with it. Would this be social anxiety or something else? I'm not really shy or anything though, I'm generally pretty outgoing.
What was described in the OP for the most part sums up what I am like. Although I could just be self diagnosing. I remember I recently had a piano recital where I was playing a difficult program, my hands were trembling so bad that one slip would've sent the entire music hall to hell. But again, I have all those symptoms but I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't.
I don't like phoning people I don't know
For some reason I'll always agree to go to social gatherings and even believe that I'll have fun, but as the date approaches I get more and more anxious about it. Sometimes I come up with some excuse last minute not to go.
After reading this thread, I am now certain that I have this disorder. It's not being a "shut-in" as some of you are labelling it. I don't stay at home because I have no interest in doing things in the outside world. When I'm in a social situation, anything other than a conversation with my close relatives, it's like half my brain get's locked up. I can't think intelligently, meaning that I can't talk properly. I break into a sweat and I become tense and daunted for no reason. Sometimes I built up a small sense of self-confidence and self-esteem, but if I do even just one thing slightly awkwardly or incorrectly, I hate myself for it and usually I relapse, and all the confidence I managed to gain falls apart. If you haven't experienced it, of course you would just say "be social" or "stop being so hard on yourself", but it's not that simple. I know that nobody cares what I do, and I know that I shouldn't criticise everything I do but I can't help it, it feels inherent and unavoidable. I don't feel in control of myself around other people. My subconscious makes me feel inferior to everyone else, while my logical mind tells me that I am not. 95% of people my age in area I live in are conformist, simple minded assholes who exploit the weaknesses of anyone they think they can get to, making it hard to find supportive friends, and if I do find someone friendly, I'm too fucking anxious to make friends with them. I could write a whole book on how pathetic I think I am, but that wouldn't help a thing. I'm going to try and do what many in this thread are suggesting. I'm going to find something I really enjoy doing, and maybe if I stick with it, it will give me the confidence I need to stop being shit.
That sounds like me about 5-6 years ago. I didn't dare to do anything. My life was ruled by making sure everything was correct and perfect. Not a single mistake could happen or else I would go nuts, i.e sweating and nervous to the point that I almost threw up. I wouldn't dare going outside if I didn't have someone to be with. The worst part was standing infront of my class and speaking, HOLY SHIT, I would shake all over the fucking place then feel really bad about afterwards. Nowadays, with the help of some of my friends (I told them about this shit) and a counselor/pshyciatrist, I go out with people, have a girlfriend and isn't afraid to make a fool out of myself sometimes. I got my own apartment and everything. Life is fucking sweet now. This shit sucks, I can tell you that.
[QUOTE=AutoTurret;23526829]Op you are just a loser, I used to have the same problem until I actually talked to girls a lot. You need at least to put in 100 to 200 hours of talking to girls on the phone or worse....IN PERSON. Then you will be good, or smoke some weed then go to the mall and you will be set.[/QUOTE] "You are just a loser" I think you still need a little more development on your social skills! [editline]12:16AM[/editline] [QUOTE=Tetsmega;23530470]Where'd the OP go? Did he suddenly get too scared to post anything anymore? You can fix this so easy by just talking to more people. In fact, talk to people of the opposite sex. Making friends will boost your confidence greatly and dramatically reduce whatever the hell made up syndrome you have. Actually it's mainly paranoia. You could just be paranoid.[/QUOTE] And you're just an idiot who makes ad hominem comments about things he/she knows nothing about! :)
I don't believe OP. I used to be a lot more quiet than I am today. Then I grew out of it, by finding an awesome group of friends. The End.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;23577399]I don't believe OP. I used to be a lot more quiet than I am today. Then I grew out of it, by finding an awesome group of friends. The End.[/QUOTE] And you represent everyone in the world I assume?
Take hallucinogenic drugs and find yourself.
[QUOTE=Gik;23525646]I feel afraid and awkward in walking normally with my hands by my sides.[/QUOTE] Definitely relate to you there. I usually hold the cuffs on my shirt, or cross my arms in public places. I've got all types of ticks when talking to people. [QUOTE=TheForeigner;23538607]I find that using the internet and being anonymous on it is playing a large role in SA.[/QUOTE] I find it as an outlet more than a contributor. I've been shy my whole life, I just started my sedentary lifestyle last year, and it's not like it's gotten any worse.
[QUOTE=Gik;23575584]"You are just a loser" I think you still need a little more development on your social skills! [editline]12:16AM[/editline] And you're just an idiot who makes ad hominem comments about things he/she knows nothing about! :)[/QUOTE] And you're a condescending, sarcastic prick who milks his "disability" for sympathy.
[QUOTE=BagMinge101;23579768]And you're a condescending, sarcastic prick who milks his "disability" for sympathy.[/QUOTE] Actually, I wrote this thread mainly to explain to my friends fully why I find it difficult to talk to them face-to-face in public; all I wanted was a site where I could write this up so I could send it to them via email, and Facepunch seemed like the best site I could find. Secondly, it's for people who have the same anxiety problem yet don't know exactly what it is. I explained what symptoms I have so that those people could understand it more clearly and relate to them, it's NOT so I can gain "sympathy", it's just so people can grasp what it is I go through day after day (obviously SOME PEOPLE fail to grasp simple concepts!); this is perhaps the first time I've ever actually explained this anxiety of mine properly! So stop making ad hominem assumptions! Oh yeah, and develop some social skills yourself! [editline]08:38PM[/editline] [QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;23577399]I don't believe OP. I used to be a lot more quiet than I am today. Then I grew out of it, by finding an awesome group of friends. The End.[/QUOTE] Remember, not everyone is the same!
I feel like this
Prozac dude. I'm on a 40mg dose of it and it helps a fuckton.
[QUOTE=Gik;23596020]Actually, I wrote this thread mainly to explain to my friends fully why I find it difficult to talk to them face-to-face in public; all I wanted was a site where I could write this up so I could send it to them via email, and Facepunch seemed like the best site I could find. Secondly, it's for people who have the same anxiety problem yet don't know exactly what it is. I explained what symptoms I have so that those people could understand it more clearly and relate to them, it's NOT so I can gain "sympathy", it's just so people can grasp what it is I go through day after day (obviously SOME PEOPLE fail to grasp simple concepts!); this is perhaps the first time I've ever actually explained this anxiety of mine properly! So stop making ad hominem assumptions! Oh yeah, and develop some social skills yourself! [editline]08:38PM[/editline] Remember, not everyone is the same![/QUOTE] or you could e-mail them. you know. LOTS easier..
[QUOTE=Marnetmar;23597379]Prozac dude. I'm on a 40mg dose of it and it helps a fuckton.[/QUOTE] no no no no dont even think about popping that shit. dont get me wrong im all about science but the pharm industry is SHIT and test results are fucked with. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdkFasjSJ_g&fmt=18[/media] [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIjOZq_AUeE&fmt=18[/media] ill take psilocybe cubensis over prozac any day
Well fuck me! People who spend far too long on the internet finding going out into the real world difficult. Whatever next!
For some reason this was a very good read. Anyhow, I got a friend who seem to have problems very much like those you have, seeing how much problems he has socially I'm guessing you're life has to suck alot not being able to talk to people in public and general social situations. On a side note: I have a somehow what similar problem, I really hate being in the center of attention and like being alone more then being around others, even if their friends. Though I don't sit inside, I instead found my own secret little beach not too far from where I live where I go when I wanna be alone and draw or write stuff. /I like being alone and typing long pointless things. :v: [editline]10:23PM[/editline] [QUOTE=mikfoz;23599217]Well fuck me! People who spend far too long on the internet finding going out into the real world difficult. Whatever next![/QUOTE] Oh would you people shut up already?
[QUOTE=Marnetmar;23597379]Prozac dude. I'm on a 40mg dose of it and it helps a fuckton.[/QUOTE] Thanks for the suggestion, but I will never touch pharmaceuticals with a 10 foot pole! [editline]11:45PM[/editline] [QUOTE=ReconUnit;23600004]For some reason this was a very good read. Anyhow, I got a friend who seem to have problems very much like those you have, seeing how much problems he has socially I'm guessing you're life has to suck alot not being able to talk to people in public and general social situations. On a side note: I have a somehow what similar problem, I really hate being in the center of attention and like being alone more then being around others, even if their friends. Though I don't sit inside, I instead found my own secret little beach not too far from where I live where I go when I wanna be alone and draw or write stuff. /I like being alone and typing long pointless things. :v: I'd like to do something like that as well. Unfortunately, I live in the middle of a city, far from any beach and far from any placid field or rural area that is not populated with thugs. Hopefully, once I've had driving lessons, completed my test and got a car (which I'm determined to do) I'll be able to go to those kinds of places. :) [editline]11:47PM[/editline] [QUOTE=mikfoz;23599217]Well fuck me! People who spend far too long on the internet finding going out into the real world difficult. Whatever next![/QUOTE] People spending far too long on the internet posting pointless comments!
Quote failure. Anyways. Funny enough, for me it actually helped alot to have some place that no-one else knows about and where I can be completely alone for a while. Also, Facepunch is Not a good place for this for now obvious reasons. :v:
Sorry for the bump but i dont wanna make a new thread. I think i have SA When im on the bus i can't keep still. i feel very nervous when people look at me or something :s ( i then begin to shake and all my muscles in my upper body start to shake / twitch. It's really anoyying. My hands shake alot. even when im not around people i still feel nervous and i have muscle spasms. Like right now. I also have a bit of grey hair from all the stress ( i think that's the cause really ).... i don't like the way i look at all. what can i do? [editline]12:23AM[/editline] [QUOTE=Blackwater;23540813] It's hard for me to go out to a party, but when I do I have fun. I find that if I've been invited to something, I'll always look for an excuse to get out of it in the last minute. My friends really want me to come to stuff, so they keep the pressure on (thank god for that) and make me go eventually. [/QUOTE] oh. my. god. i have this too. it's like i want to go out. but then i think to myself : "i look dumb i dont fit at parties". When i do go out and drink / smoke normals cigarettes / pot i feel really calm and i fit right in to be honest... thats the only time im social really. [editline]12:23AM[/editline] sorry for the bad grammar people. [editline]12:29AM[/editline] Hell i even get nervous when im at family parties. People I've fucking known my whole life. I cant raise a glass properly to my mouth. seriously you dont know how anoying that is....
[QUOTE=Akayz;23525839]Yes, it may be medical, but i reckon it is psychological. Easy cure, RELAX . Unless you have a form of parkinson's disease then there is no point to let a 'medical' diagnosis get the better of you. Always a cure for social anxiety[/QUOTE] In other words: don't get fucked over with overpriced medical perscriptions oh dear this was a bump well, dangit
Hmmmn glad for the bump, I can't believe I missed this thread first time round. It's definitely interesting to read the different types of post in this thread. Whenever there is a thread of a person with a problem, there is a scrabble of posters desperate to act superior at all costs. [I]"I don't have this problem, it ain't no big thang. Stop being a pussy"[/I] I find the behaviour odd, but it's almost like the prospect of being [b]above[/b] someone for any reason whatsoever (not a virgin, not fat, parents still together, got first job etc etc etc). Some strange overriding feeling that being able to sing superiority turns them into some sort of digital Fonz. But when they have a problem, they will defend it as viciously and as subjectively as those in the prior thread. Bagminge being a prime example. I suffer from SA but not to nearly the extent that I used to. I have epilepsy (Go on just tell me to stop being a fag and seizure for the attention) and consistent bullying during my high school years, plus the constant fear that I could just collapse and hurt myself at any minute made me a very nervous and withdrawn person. Eventually this behaviour became habitual and manifested as Social Anxiety. When I was younger (17-18) I was partial to what I always refered to as [I]"the fear"[/I] social events, shopping in popular shops (fashionable clothes, music, anywhere that wasn't quiet and mostly empty) would lead me to start sweating, and become extremely paranoid. I'd become aggressive and nauseous. When this happens, you are not in control, the whole point of this is that these are [b]not rational actions[/b]. I bailed on my high school prom as a result of this (wasting £40 on a ticket too). Counciling and a complete change of scenery has made my life a lot easier but I still experience it. For example,I become extremely nervous when having to pay for something, be it a shirt or a bus ticket. I'll count my money constantly in the queue, or find myself reciting my PIN number over and over again in my head. The prospect of getting to the till and not having enough money, or my card locking up mortifies me beyond rational limits. I honestly don't care whether you want to call it a disorder or not, in the end, that's just semantics. What I do know is that it is something I find very difficult to control, and that it is not something that can just be made to go away with a snap of the fingers. If only it were that easy.
Good thing people aren't telling you it can be cured instantly. Because everyone just said it's a psychological problem. It's no different from eating disorders and such.
social anxiety is standing at the vending machine in the corridor for 20 minutes pretending to buy a drink, in order to avoid entering a crowded room
Never ask the internet to help you with social anxiety, you'll only get bullshit "man up" answers. Now take some prozac and start enjoying yourself.
[QUOTE=Jallen;23541372]I'm fine with leading, talking to a crowd and confrontation, but I find things like ordering food or talking on the phone daunting.[/QUOTE] Same here. Idk, i guess im not good at flowing my convos.
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