Gay Chat V11 - Were you expecting something funny? - General

[QUOTE=FacepunchZen;45717593]Hey guys I figure id post a question here because some of you seem to have really sound advice. So I've been with my BF for little over a year now, we have gotten to know each other really well. Recently though, I just haven't been as attracted to him as I used to be. The little quirks in his personality, which I used to find cute, now just annoy me. I feel like we aren't as compatible as I believed us to be and its kind of a big problem for me now. Also recently I met this chick at the liquor store near my work. Now I have always been attracted to both women and men, but up until this point in our relationship I have never met someone male or female that I actually had to stop myself from trying to get to know. I really don't understand what about this girl that attracts me SO MUCH, its really a mystery to me. That being said, I am in a pickle. I dont want to leave my BF just because ive found someone else, but these new feelings I have for this girl are so strong, and the feelings I have for him just aren't the same. Another problem is that he wants to marry me someday, I always said that if it came to that somewhere down the line I wouldn't mind it, but we would have to make sure we were compatible first. Now im not so sure and the real problem I have with just breaking up with him is that I know for a fact that he would become extremely depressed and suicidal. He has always said that if he lost me he would jump off a bridge/crash his car etc. He is coming over today and for the sake of fairness and honesty I am going to tell him about my infatuation with this woman, but beyond that I have no idea what im going to do. So what do?[/QUOTE]If you don't feel the same for your boyfriend then leave him. It sounds like your attraction to him has faded and you've found someone else you want to be with. It happens. Rather than continuing to be somewhere you don't want to be, or end up hurting your boyfriend further in the long run, I would tell him the truth and end the relationship. Obviously this depends on a lot of factors. If you think you can save the relationship or "rekindle the fire" then by all means, don't end it, and try to save it as best you can. In other topics, caffeine does fuck all to me. It doesn't keep me awake, it doesn't give me better reaction times, it's as if there's actually nothing in the drink. [QUOTE=gerbe1;45713672]Also what are these parents walking in on blowjob stories. How do you deal with something like that. Why were you having blowjobs whilst your parents were there. These are things that seem crazy to me.[/QUOTE]I posted the entire story in an old gay chat thread somewhere...I'll see if I can find it for hilarity sake :v:

Coffee doesn't do shit for me so when I'm tired I just make myself about 10 or so dollars worth of espresso in an extra large cup and drink when I have the chance during work hours. [QUOTE=FacepunchZen;45717593]Hey guys I figure id post a question here because some of you seem to have really sound advice. [/QUOTE] I'd suggest waiting to see how you really do feel about this girl. I found out my (at the time) boyfriend was cheating on me with someone else that he'd only really just met. It ground the fuck out of my heart. [sp]Understatement of the decade.[/sp] Not to say you'd be cheating, or anything, but just be sure the feelings you've got aren't just lust etc.

[QUOTE=Saza;45717675]Coffee doesn't do shit for me so when I'm tired I just make myself about 10 or so dollars worth of espresso in an extra large cup and drink when I have the chance during work hours. I'd suggest waiting to see how you really do feel about this girl. I found out my (at the time) boyfriend was cheating on me with someone else that he'd only really just met. It ground the fuck out of my heart. [sp]Understatement of the decade.[/sp] Not to say you'd be cheating, or anything, but just be sure the feelings you've got aren't just lust etc.[/QUOTE] Absolutely, thats why im asking you guys so that I don't rush into anything. I would never do that to someone (ive already turned down people, when i was fucking hammered too) .We have already discussed if one of us came to the point where we may cheat on the other, that we would break it off before someone got hurt. Obviously, no matter what someone is going to get hurt if we split up. Ironically one of the reasons I feel like breaking up with him is the fact that its abusive of him to say that he would kill himself if we ever did.

I used to be a really bad coffee drinker and eventually just decided that I should probably drink a lot less. I'm now on around 1 or 2 a day and have seem to replaced it with tea instead. Honestly made me feel really awful and it didn't really wake me up at all in the early mornings.

[QUOTE=FacepunchZen;45717744]Absolutely, thats why im asking you guys so that I don't rush into anything. I would never do that to someone (ive already turned down people, when i was fucking hammered too) .We have already discussed if one of us came to the point where we may cheat on the other, that we would break it off before someone got hurt. Obviously, no matter what someone is going to get hurt if we split up. Ironically one of the reasons I feel like breaking up with him is the fact that its abusive of him to say that [b]he would kill himself if we ever did.[/b][/QUOTE]From experience, the majority of people that say this would not actually follow through. There's a select few that are unstable enough that would actually attempt this. Either way, that's not a good sign and you should probably consider talking to him about it.

No shit you're not gonna be as attracted him him you're past the new shiny honeymoon phase. Dumping someone after the honeymoon phase is a good way to stay alone your whole life. Breaking up is if you can't get along anymore and you end up fighting about everything or you just don't enjoy each others company. Do you really think couples are still madly in love with each other and mega attracted after 5 years? That phase usually lasts a year and then it switches to basically having a good friend to share moments in your life with.

[QUOTE=Batmoutarde;45717980]No shit you're not gonna be as attracted him him you're past the new shiny honeymoon phase. Dumping someone after the honeymoon phase is a good way to stay alone your whole life. Breaking up is if you can't get along anymore and you end up fighting about everything or you just [B]don't enjoy each others company[/B]. Do you really think couples are still madly in love with each other and mega attracted after 5 years? That phase usually lasts a year and then it switches to basically having a good friend to share moments in your life with.[/QUOTE] I don't really enjoy his company anymore.

Well then there's your answer

Even if the honeymoon period is over and it could just be that causing your change in feelings, I think you should still either have a serious talk about your relationship or get the fuck out of there because threatening suicide to keep you with him is emotionally abusive. If he was genuinely suicidal (which is unlikely but not impossible here) he'd either keep it a secret or ask you for help rather than using it as a trick to keep you two together.

[QUOTE=Roll_Program;45718093]Even if the honeymoon period is over and it could just be that causing your change in feelings, I think you should still either have a serious talk about your relationship or get the fuck out of there because threatening suicide to keep you with him is emotionally abusive. If he was genuinely suicidal (which is unlikely but not impossible here) he'd either keep it a secret or ask you for help rather than using it as a trick to keep you two together.[/QUOTE] He kept it a secret for a while until he felt comfortable enough with me to open up. He has had a hellish home life, his parents are extremely homophobic and used to beat him.

Yeah it sounds like you should split Yes, the honeymoon phase is something that always ends. You don't always stay "madly in love" forever unless you are an extreme exception in human psychology. People get used to each other - just look at your family. But there's a difference between honeymoon phase being over, and then straight up not enjoying or loving the person you are with anymore. It sounds like you are ready to move on from the relationship. It's also a MASSIVE flag when someone goes "I want to marry you someday" within just a year of being together, and also pulls the "If you breakup with me I'd kill myself". That's not a stable individual who is ready for a relationship and if you didn't break up with him I guarantee someone like that would cause the relationship to crash and burn just on that mentality alone. Hell, if I hear the words "I love you...." in a real serious manner before a year of being together that shoots off warning flags in my head. People change and discover more about themselves as time goes on, and often these discoveries/changes lead to you finding out that you'd be more compatible with someone else. Its totally normal, even though it sucks to go through with the act. The best thing you can do is just be there for him and support him after the fact. It makes the whole thing go smoother, it doesn't create resentment (and might actually cause a friendship to happen a year or two down the road), and it'll show you empathize with him going through what he's going through. It's just good to breakup with someone you've been close to for so long with some grace. That said, if it looks like he's being super hurt or clingy by you being there for him after the fact, then you'll likely just have to totally cut off contact. In that situation, it's better for everyone in the end.

What is the "honeymoon phase"

For the first time in a long time I sat down and played a game till the end. It was Darkness 2 (Not that long of a game) and it was pretty great. The game is fun.

[QUOTE=Vilusia;45718234]For the first time in a long time I sat down and played a game till the end. It was Darkness 2 (Not that long of a game) and it was pretty great. The game is fun.[/QUOTE] One day I just sat down and played Black Ops 2's campaign start to finish, since I was sick and had a fever that day.

[QUOTE=Zillamaster55;45718248]One day I just sat down and played Black Ops 2's campaign start to finish, since I was sick and had a fever that day.[/QUOTE] Black Ops 2 had a great campaign.

[QUOTE=Zillamaster55;45718224]What is the "honeymoon phase"[/QUOTE] The lovey dovey period when you wanna be with each other every waking hour. Texting each other I miss you every day not together

[QUOTE=Slade Xanthas;45718264]where both parties have that omg I luv u euphoria/infatuation phase until it wears off[/QUOTE] Well it's worn off I can tell, for my relationship, but it's not to a point where it's negative. We still chat, talk about our day and how we're feeling, but we understand having days where we can't see each other.

Yeah well that's called being a couple. Honeymoon period being over is not a bad thing

[QUOTE=Batmoutarde;45718284]Yeah well that's called being a couple. Honeymoon period being over is not a bad thing[/QUOTE] Just from the earlier posts it seemed negative

[QUOTE=KorJax;45718217]Yeah it sounds like you should split Yes, the honeymoon phase is something that always ends. You don't always stay "madly in love" forever unless you are an extreme exception in human psychology. People get used to each other - just look at your family. But there's a difference between honeymoon phase being over, and then straight up not enjoying or loving the person you are with anymore. It sounds like you are ready to move on from the relationship. It's also a MASSIVE flag when someone goes "I want to marry you someday" within just a year of being together, and also pulls the "If you breakup with me I'd kill myself". That's not a stable individual who is ready for a relationship and if you didn't break up with him I guarantee someone like that would cause the relationship to crash and burn just on that mentality alone. Hell, if I hear the words "I love you...." in a real serious manner before a year of being together that shoots off warning flags in my head. People change and discover more about themselves as time goes on, and often these discoveries/changes lead to you finding out that you'd be more compatible with someone else. Its totally normal, even though it sucks to go through with the act. The best thing you can do is just be there for him and support him after the fact. It makes the whole thing go smoother, it doesn't create resentment (and might actually cause a friendship to happen a year or two down the road), and it'll show you empathize with him going through what he's going through. It's just good to breakup with someone you've been close to for so long with some grace. That said, if it looks like he's being super hurt or clingy by you being there for him after the fact, then you'll likely just have to totally cut off contact. In that situation, it's better for everyone in the end.[/QUOTE] Thanks dude, that really helps.

[QUOTE=Zillamaster55;45718298]Just from the earlier posts it seemed negative[/QUOTE] No but an extended one isn't a good thing.

Saying "be my boyfriend/husband or I'll kill myself" is so fucked.

-snipped personal stuff to avoid someone finding out, worth a try though- edit, I don't want to spoil anyone's mood, I'm lucky that I have enough support to get away from this situation starting monday, have a nice fox instead [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mtjiOwertA[/media]

We get it, you REALLY like foxes

If it's not Zilla with the Godzilla posts, it's Slade with the fox posts. I may as well just start posting raccoon videos all the time :v:

-snip, awful post

Should I start posting bunnies? okay [video=youtube;wSFB2ytWJLQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSFB2ytWJLQ[/video]

No you shouldn't. Only post about cars, coffee, or blowjobs.

Monty python had it right bunnies are evil

As long as pussy isn't posted I'm fine