• Out Of The Fire, Into The Flames (zombie apocalypse setting)
    32 replies, posted
Chapter 7 will be coming soon. I haven't hit a wall. . .I've actually been mulling over a few ideas. Especially one for Joshua, that I feel will only serve to make him an infinitely more complex and interesting character.
[QUOTE=Skeeter;45057751]Well both, I really don't think it is necessary to lay out everything that is wrong and why the villain is such a twisted man straight off, especially not when the jump from our two protagonists smiling and laughing to [B]a sick twisted man fucking animals and whatnot.[/B] It just becomes too much, establish him slowly and only here and there let people peek into his sick twisted mind, instead of just taking him out of the blue, showing him right into the readers face and in gruesome detail tell of all his sick twisted opinions and acts. It's kinda like you're showing someone pictures of your family where everyone is happy, then suddenly you open up some perverted pornsite and forcing whoever looks to watch.[/QUOTE] I just noticed that bit I bolded. [quote=Chapter 6]In his adult years, he had lain with beasts. The subhuman whores that passed themselves off as his equals. The filthy, wicked animals on two legs, masquerading as human, the stench of sin and sour sweat leaking from their nether regions.[/quote] He's not fucking animals. He's fucking "the filthy, wicked animals on two legs, masquerading as human." Remember: Joshua has become so disconnected from humanity that he views people as insects, and no better than animals. If you read the context, he's talking about the "whores," or rather, the "unclean" women he forced himself to lie with. It's pretty clearly laid out. Edit: Mind you, I'm not being snarky. Your feedback is appreciated, as always. It just seems a bit like you kinda skimmed that chapter.
This is not dead, I assure you. A month ago, I started a new job. I've got less time these days to write. But this is still very much happening. I have a lot outlined for the next few chapters. Tom and Wes have many, many miles yet to cover, and there are some new faces and settings on the horizon. Don't worry about the state of the story, guys. Spider-Man gonna keep it okay.
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