• Happy Easter facepunch!
    135 replies, posted
Gonna repost last year's thread: [quote=Rubs10]The first Easter egg hunt was celebrated about 75 million years ago in the Cretaceous Period, when raptors roamed the Earth in search of delicious dinosaur eggs to crack open and eat. Scientific studies suggest that these first Easter egg hunts were not called Easter egg hunts at all! Instead, it was simply referred to as "Raaarrrrrr munch munch munch". [img]http://www.marshalls-art.com/images/ipaleo/paleopg15/Tyrannosaurs.jpg[/img] Jump to 2000 years ago when some guy was nailed to some branches for fucking with the Romans. Legend goes that he was brought back to life as a zombie by an invisible omnipotent being, somehow becoming his own father in the process. This zombification, or "rebirth", is represented by an egg, which is where our modern chocolate eggs originate from, along with the nick name "Zombie Jesus day". [img]http://cruciality.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/andreas-serrano-piss-christ-1987.jpg[/img] Jump again to the 8th century Anglo-Saxons, where Pagans worship another omnipotent being of fertility, which scientist suggest is not the necromancer god that was worshipped in 0 B.C.E. The word Easter, along with the symbol of this being, the rabbit, were both stolen, or "adapted", from this form of religion. Scientist have yet to find a logical explanation for the merging of these two religious festivals. [img]http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/Homework/saxons/images/saxons.jpg[/img] However, lets go ahead nearly 500 years, in pre-Nazi Germany. These early Germanic people believed in a creature called the Oschter Haws. Oschter Haws were approximately 5 feet tall beings that resembled hares. Their typical mating season would occur sometime around spring, where they would lay colorful eggs containing their offspring. The Germanic people took advantage of this and built nest to collect these eggs. If these creatures did in fact exist, then this process of collecting their young would surely have wiped them out. [img]http://www.ahajokes.com/cartoon/15.jpg[/img] Modern Easter is typically celebrated by a sub-cult of Christianity called Catholicism. Easter is celebrated by these "Catholics", who go to their temples of worship and receive communion, a ritual in which they cannibalize false human skin and drink fake blood from a chalice. Typically, families and organizations will also host public egg hunts, in which the "Velociraptors" (Children), would hunt for the colorful eggs (The colorful plastic eggs), laid by Oschter Haws (The Easter bunny), placing them into their nest (Baskets). [img]http://image3.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/EasterEggHunt03-22-08_07.jpg[/img] So let us remember this day as "Zombie Jesus Day", the day in which Velociraptors trick giant rabbits into laying their colorful eggs into fake nest.[/quote] Happy Zombie Jesus day, everybody.
[QUOTE=Persious;29397638]I havent even got 1 easter egg. ):[/QUOTE] Join the club But I got £50 :D
[QUOTE=Lonestriper;29396476]I bet everyone here has gone or is going to church like good Christians should[/QUOTE] oh, you
My family is the lazy type that says "Yeah, we're religious" but doesn't go to church, even on Zombie Jesus Day. Personally I'm just glad I don't have to put up with that bullshit when I can be enjoying my Sunday.
Lots of food here on Zombie Jesus Day and it's pretty cool. Happy ZJD.
Looks like were not going to do a easter event for my family :sigh:
[img]http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lisis6YV821qfum8so1_500.jpg[/img] Praise Jesus!
Holy shit!!! £7.49 Rip off
I had some lindt lindor easter eggs that had a peanut butter flavoured chocolate filling.
Happy Easter, Facepunch! Here's hoping my uncle in the hospital makes a speedy recovery.
[img]http://gyazo.com/958275d88ff81e3927f4a4dad5ec96ef.png[/img] Is... Is that what I think it is? A REAL kinder chocolate egg?
[QUOTE=brandonsh;29396661]Huzzah! I have an Creme Egg.[/QUOTE] I have four! :buddy: and what else did I get... Sweet Chili Heat doritos (fuck yeah), Dad's Goodie Rings, and lifesaver gummies. My parents are awesome
Lucky twats I want one D=
I have 4 pounds of white chocolate :3:
Happy Easter, y'all. [editline]1[/editline] [QUOTE=brandonsh;29396661]Huzzah! I have an Creme Egg.[/QUOTE] I honestly lol'd when I read that and looked at your avatar.
It's peep day fuckers [editline]24th April 2011[/editline] I just got my tax returns this week too time to get tasty yellow marshmallow diabetes
[QUOTE=Diealready;29398457] Sweet Chili Heat doritos (fuck yeah), [b]Dad's Goodie Rings[/b], and lifesaver gummies. [/QUOTE] Insert link to goatse here.
Aw man, you guys are so lucky! All I got was some cocaine. Damn you all! I'm gunna snort it in a cross, Just for Zombie Jesus Day.
If you've go one you can share it between everyone. Go on, hand it out between the class Be hearty in Zombie Jesus Day
[QUOTE=fenwick;29396383]Easter is about the Birth of Jesus not eggs.[/QUOTE] No it's about the birth of eggs and how rabbits are involved.
I didn't get any easter eggs. :saddowns:
I ate too much chocolate already today. I feel sick now.
Happy Easter everyone, no matter if you're religious or not :smile:
Today is also Eastern Orthodox Easter! This is the third year in a row they've fallen on the same day.
jesus died and was reincarnated as a fucking rabbit. how does this work?
Reminds me of the time I found an Easter egg from 2002 last year, my friends dared me to eat it and I ended up puking. best story ever
[QUOTE=Soleeedus;29398602]Insert link to goatse here.[/QUOTE] fuck you it's these things [img]http://www.canadaonly.ca/product_images/l/773/dadsgoodies__47859_zoom.jpg[/img]
Happy Jesus Death everyone!
Here's something funny regarding rabbits and eggs. My dad thinks rabbits lay eggs. :geno:
A few years ago I won 96 cadbury cream eggs from some competition that a newspaper was doing. I even have my picture in the article from when went to collect it, though I look kinda retarded. That is my favorite easter memory.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.