When I had a SEVERE case of influenza when I was 10. I was impossibly cold, crying, puking, shitting water, vision was fucked up, ached everywhere, then they gave me penicillin which turns out i'm severly allergic to, so I swelled at the joints and ached everywhere. Not sure if I was really near death but damn it it sure felt like it.
Oh yeah, when I was about 15, I got surrounded at a bus stop by a bunch of mentals. And I mean, serious mentals, like 'I've seen em wrapping presents when it's nobody's birthday' mental. At least one of them had a ting, and they sat on either side of me, stood in front of me, leaning over me style shit. About this time, I was making peace with myself internally, but they turned out to be a bunch of really nice blokes, just having a laugh.
I mean, they were probably still criminals, but they left me alone, and that qualifies them as top gents.
I was running across the road and was centimetres from getting hit by a huge SUV going at about 60mph.
Some fat bloke chased me through a dangerous estate at night with a huge staff.
my balls got swollen up when i was 8, so i had to have an operation to get them un-tangled from eac other (yes you read right) if i hadn't of had it sooner i would have no balls. instead i would have balls of steel instead, which now when i look back on it i actually would have wanted them. so whenever i say ive got balls of steel i would have meant it literally and it would give me an excuse to dress like Duke Nukem
i was 5 maybe six, riding on my trike on the back porch area. It was built more like a balcony 6 inches off the ground and i liked seeing my plastic tires skid whenever i pedaled too fast and tried to stop, kept pushing the safe stopping distance and went through the wooden banister (which was already pretty loose) and had the nails at the bottom (supposedly holding it in) make some damn long gashes along my forearm legs chest , and nearly missing my eye. The wounds that would have killed me in that situation would be the one on the outside of my eye socket and the one that ran parallel to a vein in my right forearm.
I was driving down a hill in my car when some retard in a bike crashed into me.
[QUOTE=Tea Guy;25823383]When I was like 5 or 6 my aunt put me in this catholic day care/pre-school place because my parents couldn't bother watching me all day. One day during recess I helped this little black girl by pushing her on the swing, in return she did the same. As I was swinging back towards her I got frightened of how fast I was going so I dug my feet into the sand below to slow me down, this resulted in me kicking sand all over her.
In retaliation, the bitch picked up a hand full of sand just as I was turning around to say sorry and she tossed it into my face. Some of the sand got into my left eye and it was stinging really bad, I went to the nurse to ask for help but she ignored me and instead she put me in this room full of cots that we napped on and forced me to sleep. My parents picked me up later that day and took me home, and the next morning I was blind in my left eye.
We sued the bitch for 50K during the following weeks and I should be getting that money when I turn 18.
Also, one night I was enjoying myself with a bowl of ice that I sucked on and I think I either went to cough or sneeze and it got stuck in my throat. I was gasping and choking for about 30 seconds before I leaned forward real fast and it shot out my mouth and into the hall way before striking the lampshade in the next room.[/QUOTE]
Which bitch?
The nurse or the black girl?
[editline]7th November 2010[/editline]
Either when I was in a car accident without a seat belt or when I was four and fell down the stairs.
Nothing too bad.
-snip-
well i'm an atheist, and i almost got hit by a car a little bit ago, and it really made me start to think that if i died whether or not i would go to heaven.
[QUOTE=Xokiller65;25908062]When I was about 16 or 17 in high school one of my old best friends who I used to hang out constantly when I was a child stabbed me 3 times in the stomach after lunch. To this day I still don't know why he did it, I heard he started getting into fights and hanging out with some faggots who think they are all that, maybe that changed him. All I remember of it was walking to class and I hear him talking to this one guy behind me saying "now, now" and I turn around next thing I know theres a knife going toward my stomach and his stupid ass friend grabbed my arms so i couldn't defend myself. After I feel this sharp pain that only lasted like a second, I kicked his fucking chest sending him flying backwards, and smacking his head on the solid floor. After that him and his friend fled and some of my friends came up as well as like the whole school it seemed and that were all asking what the hell happened and all that. Well, I felt this liquid going down my stomach like I was taking a shower and I looked down seeing my stomach mutilated with 3 stab wounds, after seeing it I felt this huge amount of pain causing me to pass out. I woke later in the hospital with the doctor saying that my wounds almost damaged vital stuff, and the police asking a bunch of questions. It felt like it was not real. Also I heard that he is in jail today for god knows what.[/QUOTE]
:ohdear:
I'm glad you're alive good sir
Swine flu nearly killed me apparently. Which was annoying because I mocked it, then I was the only one out of everyone I know to get it.
[QUOTE=TaniaTiger;25908260]Swine flu nearly killed me apparently. Which was annoying because I mocked it, then I was the only one out of everyone I know to get it.[/QUOTE]
I had swine flu too, i had a fever so bad with it looked like i just hopped out of a swimming pool while it was 50 some degrees outside as i was on my way to the CVS to pick up my prescription
[QUOTE=TaniaTiger;25908260]Swine flu nearly killed me apparently. Which was annoying because I mocked it, then I was the only one out of everyone I know to get it.[/QUOTE]
Now you know to never mock diseases.
[editline]7th November 2010[/editline]
They hunt you down and make you sick
Went out of control on ice, slid onto a bridge and gladly didn't break through the barrier or else I would have met a cold watery grave.
Somehow, I touched an open socket and didn't get electrocuted besides a slight tingle in my finger.
I was drinking Cola with ice. The ice was sooo big it almost stuck in my throat.
Someone said I needed to be closer with god so I stood in front of a train and jumped out of the way last minute.
Nearly choked to death on a piece of beef. :saddowns:
When I was 5 or 6 I was biking and my foot slipped off the pedal and caught in the chain and my bike just fucking flipped and I landed flat on my face. If I wasn't wearing a helmet, I would have broken my neck. My face was pretty shredded too.
When I was about 7 or 8 my mum took me to some after school club for the first time which I didn't want to go to, so when we were inside the building getting registered and shit I legged it out the door, over the road and almost got ran over by some lady in a car.
Yeah, I was a dumb little shit.
I just noticed that many of these near-death experiences involve either a bicycle or a car somehow. What does this mean? :ohdear:
[QUOTE=TaniaTiger;25908260]Swine flu nearly killed me apparently. Which was annoying because I mocked it, then I was the only one out of everyone I know to get it.[/QUOTE]
i had it also, i was supposed to have a MRI scan that week it may have gone near death if i did.
From my first tour to Iraq:
Another mounted Patrol. I was the 240B gunner on our up armored HUMVEE. We were on our way back to our FOB going threw this residential area. We were driving past rows of apartment buildings SGT Dunsmore pokes me in the leg and says "T, watch the rooftops!" "Rodger Sergeant!" I just look up on the rooftops for anyone. Everything was normal, no deserted streets, kids were outside. People were holding conversations on one corner or another. I watch this cat run across the street and then I go back to looking at the rooftops. I didn't even hear the gunshot. All I felt was a thud. Like someone punched me in the chest really hard. A bullet had hit me in my front chest plate. I couldn't breath due to a combination of stress, shock, and the "oh shit someone just shot me" moment. I was hyperventilating. Now between the time I was shot to the time I black out was only a few seconds. I slipped off the gunners seat and down into the Humvee. Sgt Dunsmore looks down at me and yells "He's dead! Speed up, get us the Hell out of here. I wake up and look around, the first thing I grab is Sgt Dunsmore's arm. Sgt Dunsmore freaks out, he thought I was dead. He responds my punching me in the face thinking I had the devil in me or something. 0_o
My only wound was a brused rib that I got from the impact of the round that hit the ceramic plate. And a black eye from the punch.
[QUOTE=Testabar;25917745]From my first tour to Iraq:
Another mounted Patrol. I was the 240B gunner on our up armored HUMVEE. We were on our way back to our FOB going threw this residential area. We were driving past rows of apartment buildings SGT Dunsmore pokes me in the leg and says "T, watch the rooftops!" "Rodger Sergeant!" I just look up on the rooftops for anyone. Everything was normal, no deserted streets, kids were outside. People were holding conversations on one corner or another. I watch this cat run across the street and then I go back to looking at the rooftops. I didn't even hear the gunshot. All I felt was a thud. Like someone punched me in the chest really hard. A bullet had hit me in my front chest plate. I couldn't breath due to a combination of stress, shock, and the "oh shit someone just shot me" moment. I was hyperventilating. Now between the time I was shot to the time I black out was only a few seconds. I slipped off the gunners seat and down into the Humvee. Sgt Dunsmore looks down at me and yells "He's dead! Speed up, get us the Hell out of here. I wake up and look around, the first thing I grab is Sgt Dunsmore's arm. Sgt Dunsmore freaks out, he thought I was dead. He responds my punching me in the face thinking I had the devil in me or something. 0_o
My only wound was a brused rib that I got from the impact of the round that hit the ceramic plate. And a black eye from the punch.[/QUOTE]
I salute you good sir
:patriot:
I was riding in a car, car hits the tree. Seat Belt nearly completely slices my neck open.
[editline]7th November 2010[/editline]
[QUOTE=Testabar;25917745]Iraq Story[/QUOTE]
That is amazing, I didn't mean to rate you zing by the way :saddowns:
Was hiking with my family in the Ardennes across a narrow path. Ground underneath my foot breaks away, I slide down the hill towards the edge. I stop sliding with my head over the edge, face down, looking right down a straight vertical drop of about 300 feet. Laid there for 5 minutes trying to get my breathing under control before getting back up.
:ohdear:
My closest near-death experience was probably when I got very drunk and passed out on my friends couch and stopped breathing for a little and puked (didn't choke on it or anything though). This was when I was like 14-15...yes I have had other incidents with drinking but I haven't drank in like 4 months and I'm pretty serious about not getting out of control.
When I entered Fast Threads.
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