Angry, sad, depressed, miserable, feeling hopeless? Come here and lets help each other out! - General

[QUOTE=Cpn Crunch21;35323876]welcome, out of curiosity why did you lurk? ive always wondered why since when i found this place i started posting right away[/QUOTE] When I was new here facepunch had a spell check that would take smartness then ban you if you misssplled so thats why I never post:P

Oh I had totally forgotten the smartness system. My first account was created in 2005. But yeah I mostly lurk too.. I don't usually have much to say or if I do it comes out wrong. :D

About once every three days I get extremely suicidal. I don't know why as my life is pretty stress free. I'm 16 living at my moms house with no rent and i get money to spend. I know it's pretty terrible wasting my mom's money on oxy and shit but i'm going to get a job soon. Even though I attempted suicide twice I got over my suicidal-ism. This is problem. I'm starting to hallucinate and have panic attacks about nothing whatsoever. I feel so disconnected from my life and the people around me that i'm starting to feel not human. I day dream about blowing my brains with a shotgun for amusement, etc. Though i feel this way about one to two times a week so it's semi-manageable. I lurk because I'm pretty self conscious and I think everything I post is actually stupid and I'm ignorant because i'm young. But how you feel about things and how they really are might be two completely different things.

[QUOTE=PassingWord;35335915]About once every three days I get extremely suicidal. I don't know why as my life is pretty stress free. I'm 16 living at my moms house with no rent and i get money to spend. I know it's pretty terrible wasting my mom's money on oxy and shit but i'm going to get a job soon. Even though I attempted suicide twice I got over my suicidal-ism. This is problem. I'm starting to hallucinate and have panic attacks about nothing whatsoever. I feel so disconnected from my life and the people around me that i'm starting to feel not human. I day dream about blowing my brains with a shotgun for amusement, etc. Though i feel this way about one to two times a week so it's semi-manageable. I lurk because I'm pretty self conscious and I think everything I post is actually stupid and I'm ignorant because i'm young. But how you feel about things and how they really are might be two completely different things.[/QUOTE] see a therapist. I have always been more pro-cognitive and behavioral therapy so i suggest finding a therapist that provides either. You are an adolescent and your brain is going through a lot of changes that may be influencing those thoughts which is why i'd be hesitant to suggest taking meds for it. But you definitely need to seek help for it, and if your first choice in doctors isnt good then keep looking until you find one you are comfortable with, i hate it when people say "i dont trust my doctor, he/she is shit". Medicine is a business, and you can find another provider like any other industry.

posted in lounge but anyway my friend dumped his crazy gf things are better

[QUOTE=En-Guage V2;35340751]posted in lounge but anyway my friend dumped his crazy gf things are better[/QUOTE] that is very good news. Although i cant wait to hear what happens next, because she doesnt seem like the type to give up.

Well it's been a week or so and she's done nothing [editline]29th March 2012[/editline] now my bro can stop punching himself and inanimate objects

Here, I have created a barrier between myself and the rest of the world. Structuring a wall, just as proclaimed in the Pink Floyd album, except I hadn't even known about that when I started. Though, I had listened to the album on my dad's record player when I was little, I could not have appreciated or understood the message. But, now I see that although I thought there was no one but myself, there were mild attempts at bashing my wall, they were muffled quiet thuds, barely stirring a thought in my mind. Although I disregarded them and ignored the background noise, I should have followed towards them. There was the loudest thud from one person, I continued to ignore. I should have went for it and deconstructed my wall and joined the many others outside. Instead by the time I pounded back, there was no response. I should have realized sooner, how much effort I put into involving myself with those people, the thuds no matter how weak and muffled, were louder than any sound I had made. [editline]31st March 2012[/editline] The other me said it better. I learn many new things and ideas from him, only to soon be forgotten. What I take from this is [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzjUjNPYzLg[/media] [editline]31st March 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Awegner;35312814]I think I need psychological evaluation. I have all these extremely violent thoughts and violence doesn't phase me in the least. I also have no remorse for life and regularly laugh while most others would be sick or crying. Psychological and sociopathic tendency's have also been identified by my local GP along with mild to extreme depression swings. One day I'm good, other days I don't feel like waking up in the morning. I fear that I may become a serial killer one day, my episodes where I picture doing horrible things to people are frequent and its really pissing me off. I just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks.[/QUOTE] Holy shit, I'm in the same boat! I was actually just telling my friend about this the other day, and he said it's completely normal. Even my constant daydream-like visuals I have. I just imagine the strangest shit, and my dreams (on the odd time I actually have/remember it) are even more bizarre. I've been going increasingly unstable in my opinion... I mean, I would have never thought of posting in this thread not even a week ago.

I finally convinced my mom to get me a therapist appointment :).

I would really like to go see one again. Everyday I just sit here and I feel really panicky, kind of like coming up on Adderall. But it lasts for most of the day, I just feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. I've tried figuring out when it starts what is happened, what I am thinking about ect, and I do the same thing when it stops. I can't really find anything that 'triggers' it myself, but maybe someone else could figure it out. I just felt like sharing.

April Fools, a torturous day for someone who suffers from anxiety. But in all seriousness i had one of the worst anxiety attacks ever today. Fucking mind destroying, thankfully im going to see a therapist soon, maybe this week.

[QUOTE=Cpn Crunch21;35388686]April Fools, a torturous day for someone who suffers from anxiety. But in all seriousness i had one of the worst anxiety attacks ever today. Fucking mind destroying, thankfully im going to see a therapist soon, maybe this week.[/QUOTE] Anxiety is so underrated, it can literally ruin your life within days

Its those moments of... i cant even describe one when im not having it, its so...different? extreme? i just dont know. Its been gnawing at me all day, not as extreme as this morning but i have a lingering feeling. Hopefully it will go away, i just need a little more time to relax.

I just started getting panic attacks like two weeks ago ... Can't think of a reason why they come, never even got them before. Also when they come, I feel really out of it, like you've been smoking a lot of weed, I can't concentrate on shit and I do silly mistakes like leave the cereal box in the fridge instead of the milk. Is this normal?

[QUOTE=polarbear.;35390512]I just started getting panic attacks like two weeks ago ... Can't think of a reason why they come, never even got them before. Also when they come, I feel really out of it, like you've been smoking a lot of weed, I can't concentrate on shit and I do silly mistakes like leave the cereal box in the fridge instead of the milk. Is this normal?[/QUOTE] what do you feel during the panic attack, both mentally and physically?

Does anyone else have trouble making decisions, opinions, and other basic shit like that? I'm at a point where someone asks my opinion, and I honestly don't know, and maybe end up answering the last thing I heard, or what the majority was thinking. I don't know what's me and what's part of the bandwagon.

[QUOTE=Cpn Crunch21;35390570]what do you feel during the panic attack, both mentally and physically?[/QUOTE] Mentally, "oh fuck why is this happening i dont want this" Physically, a lot of the symptoms of a panic attack .. Hard to breathe, shaky, uncomfortable, scared for no reason. This weekend it's been happening a couple times throughout the day, and also when this weekend started my back has been hurting like a motherfucker. what the hell man

anxiety running at a constant 5-6 right now, without anything out of the ordinary happening. This is getting worse, i need to make an appointment asap.

[QUOTE=Cpn Crunch21;35401389]anxiety running at a constant 5-6 right now, without anything out of the ordinary happening. This is getting worse, i need to make an appointment asap.[/QUOTE] I'm getting the same thing. I'm sorry bro, I know how you feel.

i too know that feel

seeing someone this Wednesday. Hopefully all goes well.

Mass hysteria?

I'm so sad it physically hurts in my chest. I feel this big pressure and I'm having trouble breathing. I'm about to start crying for reason whatsoever. I wish I didn't have such a great mom so I could kill myself. She's the only I have and I know she's depressed. I can't kill myself. I'm literally trapped into living. I can't smoke weed anymore :( I hear voices and other weird audio hallucinations It's weird though. I have these moments that go on about 3 hours of absolute hell and then they go away. Now I'm fine but 5 minutes ago I was hyperventilating out of my window on the verge of tears. If I know i'm crazy does that mean I'm sane enough to know my weirdness or smart enough to pick it up? I wish i was anyone else.

had my first session today, my sis was right. The guy was mad chill, very professional, cracked a few jokes here and there. His strategy is to start teaching me coping mechs right away so for the mean time i can handle some things and over time get me to be able to avoid anxiety completely. Im looking forward to next week.

[QUOTE=PassingWord;35420134]I'm so sad it physically hurts in my chest. I feel this big pressure and I'm having trouble breathing. I'm about to start crying for reason whatsoever. I wish I didn't have such a great mom so I could kill myself. She's the only I have and I know she's depressed. I can't kill myself. I'm literally trapped into living. I can't smoke weed anymore :( I hear voices and other weird audio hallucinations It's weird though. I have these moments that go on about 3 hours of absolute hell and then they go away. Now I'm fine but 5 minutes ago I was hyperventilating out of my window on the verge of tears. If I know i'm crazy does that mean I'm sane enough to know my weirdness or smart enough to pick it up? I wish i was anyone else.[/QUOTE] You're not "crazy" you're just upset, anxious, and most likely depressed. Those moments of "absolute hell" are most likely panic attacks. I suggest you try to go speak to a therapist or a doctor. Also all of these things can't be happening for no reason, something has to trigger them, you haven't said anything that it could be [QUOTE=zach1193;35405966]Mass hysteria?[/QUOTE] It was a joke guys

fuck that noise try opium

I feel lonely, but I don't know why. I don't connect with my 'closest' friends, and I hardly see the ones I really get along with. Every girl I try to even talk to doesn't take the effort to shoot me down, I get completely ignored. I feel so alone. My mood has been so erratic and frantic, I can't calm down but I'm so exhausted all the time.

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[QUOTE=Blackfilm;35448034]I feel lonely, but I don't know why. I don't connect with my 'closest' friends, and I hardly see the ones I really get along with. Every girl I try to even talk to doesn't take the effort to shoot me down, I get completely ignored. I feel so alone. My mood has been so erratic and frantic, I can't calm down but I'm so exhausted all the time.[/QUOTE] I feel same. I just keep getting more and more away from my friends. Some of them are really people I don't want to lose and I try to spend more time with them. Things just don't seem to work out. Same with the girls too :/

I have problems taking good criticism to heart. My teacher keeps telling me I'm above average when it comes to grades and general order/behaviour. It only lasts a few minutes until I feel like a worthless underachiever again though. It seems like my teacher knows I have very low self-esteem, but I could use some extra help feeling like someone useful. I study welding and industrial production and I do pretty well in the workshop, but the others just seem so energetic and confident compared to me. It makes me feel like crap. Advice would be much appreciated.