Angry, sad, depressed, miserable, feeling hopeless? Come here and lets help each other out! - General

Recently I cant stop thinking about suicide. It would just be so easy to kill myself, I see every opportunity. But there are too many people who care about me and I would destroy a couple of my friends. I know I shouldn't want to kill myself when I have such good friends (even if they are only on the internet) but I do. I cant help feeling like this. I'm just so lonely and scared. I don't see how I'll ever be able to handle myself. I'm trying as hard as I can and the only thing people tell me is to stop being a lazy shit and do my work.

dont feel lonely, about 17% of teens think about suicide, and its the third highest killer among them. And work might help you keep your mind off it, and in my case it helps.

-snip-

The girl Ive been talking to for almost 2 years, the girl who means more to mean than anything else in my life.. she got fucking raped on tuesday.. ever since Ive been so fucked up mentally.. I know she wouldnt like it but Ive been getting fucked up on morphine as much as I can since it happened cuz thats the only way I can forget about it momentarily, but it still gets to me even on 300mg of morphine.. She already was raped when she was younger, so its really gotta be fucking with her, but she doesnt like talking about how she feels.. I have a really hard time getting her to say anything other than "Im fine" or "Im okay".. I just wanna blow my brains out, its like a nightmare I cant wake up from, it just wont stop coming back to me.. the mental image of her getting chased through a fucking field then tackled and raped by some sick fuck who'd already raped two other girls her age and molested a 7 year old.. I live quite a ways from her and I was in college like an hour drive from her when it happened on her walk home.. I feel so worthless as a boyfriend, I couldnt be there for her.. my baby girl got violated in the worst way possible.. And guess what, it was the day we were supposed to have sex for the first time after knowing eachother all this time and having such intense feelings for eactother.. it was supposed to be a day where we shared some really special and fun, we were both all excited and we were just gonna meet up and fuck in the back of my car after I got out of college.. And then she texts me in college and tells me something happened on her way home from school.. she didnt really wanna tell me at first, I got her to obviously, but she refuses to tell her mom what happened because she'll have to go through another 3 years of counselling and all the other stuff she hated from the last time she got raped.. This is all so fucking hellish, I just dont understand how something like this could happen to such a great person as her.. shes so beautiful, kind, fun, shes my everything.. Ive been cutting myself, taking pills, sleeping as long as I can, anything to try to keep my mind off it.. I just wish so bad I could go back and stop it.. I want it to be like before... I feel like life will never be the same after this shit..

Ugh my mom found out I was smoking in my room, I woke up to her slapping me in the face. Shitty day at school so far Im falling behind in everything ugh i just need to graduate. Im so close. On another note I got a job interview Thurdsay!

[QUOTE=SHOE3045;35746959]Recently I cant stop thinking about suicide. It would just be so easy to kill myself, I see every opportunity. But there are too many people who care about me and I would destroy a couple of my friends. I know I shouldn't want to kill myself when I have such good friends (even if they are only on the internet) but I do. I cant help feeling like this. I'm just so lonely and scared. I don't see how I'll ever be able to handle myself. I'm trying as hard as I can and the only thing people tell me is to stop being a lazy shit and do my work.[/QUOTE] You shouldn't stop being lazy and you shouldn't do your work. Don't take me wrong, but as it is everything's difficult as fuck, and fighting against it's only gonna make it worse. Have a day of spoiling yourself, do whatever you feel like when you feel like, and if possible then do it outside on a sunny day. Oh and the more you think about it the less you care of actually doing it, so try getting it off your mind without overdoing it, take it easy, there's no reason to stress more.

[QUOTE=Blazed.I.Stay;34875909]Let me help others before i do my deserved self-killing. Tell me whats bothering you.[/QUOTE] No one deserves a suicide, man. It's a choice to end it before the inevitable time comes. Ending it yourself is not a good idea. Stay blazed and true. Things will work out for you as long as you have the will to make it happen. Need any help send me a message anywhere [video=youtube_share;Gu2pVPWGYMQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu2pVPWGYMQ[/video]

Started to feel down 5, maybe 15 minutes ago. I hate myself for not being self-confident to even ask someone out, like a date. Being socially inactive for like, 5 years, maybe more. Why is it, sometimes i just drop a tear or ten, think about suicide, think about, well, actually not think at all, but day two later i can just have p. much fun with friends. It makes me feel even shittier because i think i am just telling myself i am depressed, what was actually response of one of people that i know. I still can remember, how 3, maybe 4 years ago i actually was thinking about suicide with knife in hand against chest, but obviously didn't made the move. I think i won't post there really anymore, i have paranoia about someone i know seeing this (even tho noone even knows this forum from what i suspect/see), and i really think i make myself look just stupid. Being able to smoke to just cheer myself up would be so nice right now. Or even anything, just to do so.

My brother just recently committed suicide... tomorrow is his birthday. I'm going to be selling my xbox, nintendo DS lite, 11 DECENT games, and my iPod Nano 6G Just to get as high as he would have wanted on his birthday.

My girlfriend of two years left me and really fucked up my life and I've been having a lot of stress in school and other bullshit. I have been cutting and contemplating suicide a lot lately, but the way I try to cope with it is with exercise, talking to people I really enjoy, and listening to music. But recently I tried some pot for the first time at a friends house and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. At first I didn't really feel anything but happier, then I kept doing it and oh man I didn't have a worry in the world. I've never been a fan of drug use except for occasionally getting really drunk when I'm upset or something, but it was seriously one of the greatest nights in my life. Even the day after I felt happier, I plan on doing it again.

[QUOTE=Infinity;35787619]My brother just recently committed suicide... tomorrow is his birthday. I'm going to be selling my xbox, nintendo DS lite, 11 DECENT games, and my iPod Nano 6G Just to get as high as he would have wanted on his birthday.[/QUOTE] Good luck with you man. Suicide hurts many people.

[QUOTE=woOt_5000;35789753]My girlfriend of two years left me and really fucked up my life and I've been having a lot of stress in school and other bullshit. I have been cutting and contemplating suicide a lot lately, but the way I try to cope with it is with exercise, talking to people I really enjoy, and listening to music. But recently I tried some pot for the first time at a friends house and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. At first I didn't really feel anything but happier, then I kept doing it and oh man I didn't have a worry in the world. I've never been a fan of drug use except for occasionally getting really drunk when I'm upset or something, but it was seriously one of the greatest nights in my life. Even the day after I felt happier, I plan on doing it again.[/QUOTE] smoking recreationally is good, but just dont make it a habit of doing it when you are sad or depressed. You'll end up depending on it that way, but judging that you're relatively new to it that shouldnt be a problem, just a heads up about drug use in general.

fuck school

i want to die but i don't want to kill myself because i cant think of a good way to do it that i can do fuck cunt i've been seeing my psychiatrist every day but now he's off work today i'm left to look after myself alone today and i can't do it wtf

My mother recently took my computer away for finding pot in my room. I dont know when im going to get it back. I realize it was the only thing I looked forward to during the day. Without it I just feel lethargic.

[QUOTE=Potato-Pugilist;35794738]My mother recently took my computer away for finding pot in my room. I dont know when im going to get it back. I realize it was the only thing I looked forward to during the day. Without it I just feel lethargic.[/QUOTE] "My son is smoking?! Better take away his non-smoking activities so he will have nothing to do and just sit there thinking about smoking."

Damn.. its been a long time since I cried. Forgot how it was like. Horrible feeling wanting to commit suicide but not being able to do it. Its slowly tearing me apart. I feel like I'm at the point where I was 5 years ago with my depression. It has taken so much from me and now it feels like its starting all over again even stronger.

does anyone know what happened to blazed his last activity was in march. i know ill be sad if he is gone

Yeah I was worried about him too. His last post seemed things were going better though. :o

my case worker is ignoring me :/

Are you completely sure they are

[QUOTE=Cpn Crunch21;35800328]"My son is smoking?! Better take away his non-smoking activities so he will have nothing to do and just sit there thinking about smoking."[/QUOTE] Now im smoking more pot than ever without Dota 2 to curb my boredome

[QUOTE=Stormcharger;35805976]Are you completely sure they are[/QUOTE] he's working today and he was supposed to drop off a blood test form for my blood test tomorrow morning but he hasn't done that and hasn't responded to my emails and texts

more and more lately I just feel alone and shitty, even though I spend so much time with friends. Seems like as soon as I'm alone I feel bored and shitty also I can never be bothered to do anything, at least not for very long. I'll start playing a game but get bored of it soon afterwards and then watch a movie instead, rinse and repeat. I just spent the last 45 minutes doing nothing but alternate between sitting at my desk and lying on my bed doing absolutely nothing miss being able to feel positive without needing to be around other people

[QUOTE=Faren;35873166]more and more lately I just feel alone and shitty, even though I spend so much time with friends. Seems like as soon as I'm alone I feel bored and shitty also I can never be bothered to do anything, at least not for very long. I'll start playing a game but get bored of it soon afterwards and then watch a movie instead, rinse and repeat. I just spent the last 45 minutes doing nothing but alternate between sitting at my desk and lying on my bed doing absolutely nothing miss being able to feel positive without needing to be around other people[/QUOTE] Should try having a boring social circle, that's where the fun ends. It's like my life's on repeat. I wake up, I do jack shit, I hang out with friends and pretty much just chill talking about worthless stuff, then I head off to bed because I'm bored. Doesn't end there, I end sitting up to 2-3AM doing nothing, until I get so bored of being bored that I just lay down and close my eyes. Doesn't end there either. I start thinking about stuff, and then I have to get back up and do something to empty my mind. Every day. Occasionally someone writes me on some IM and I get to have a few minutes of what some would descripe as a life worth living, then it's back to fuckall.

All my teeth are dead and are completely rotting out and I'm in constant pain 24/7...Weed doesn't help it...So I'm in pain management again....Cannot get teeth fixed it is 45,000 dollars to get a full reconstruction...Was caused by a medication a psychiatrist put me on...Still not help because Well America. Was caused by a medication called Clonidine which dries the mouth out and can increase chances of all Dental type diseases...So Im fighting infections off too. And the psychiatrist said It was prob from Heroin and benzo addiction which I did neither nor did they do any urine tests on me to even bring the idea up...The benzo thing they took me off of xanax 5 years use as needed ( Means I didn't take it as prescribed maybe 1-2 a day when said 4-5 a day ) And my mom accidently calls script in and they say I'm abusing it and take me off it...Of course I read a year later that it's illegal to stop someone cold turkey off of benzo's due to health concerns.

Man, I feel so rejected and alone right now, trying to cheer myself up by listening to some gorillaz

a year ago I met a girl who I had serious thoughts about dating, after a few weeks she turned around to try and date my best friend, after nearly losing my best friend were being things back to normality but I with her, her roomate and her roommates boyfriend and we end up having a 4sum, real crazy night and was great, and no balls did not touch. after 2 months everything back to normal but most of my good friends are gone at university and having a septermber birthday I spend it with by buddy who I havent seen since grade 9 (6 years ago) and we split on a pizza whatta birthday right? well then this ally who was the 4sum night roommate calls me up, gets me in her car and we can club hopping and buys me a pack of smokes and have my first legal cig (not that im trying to be hardcore but just one of those things you do). a few months past I started talking to her again, helped her out with some cash issues, was there when she needed someone and things were chill, never thought of her during this time as a potential girlfriend or anything just a good friend. for a good 2 months were so chill, smoking up with her best friend who deals so had some great company while we smoked, she breaks up with this dealers brother and there starts the first loss of good people in my life, 3 weeks pass after this and the phone her ex was supposed to buy is stolen from me by him. another month passes, went and forgave her ex, just stopped caring about stupid bullshit and moved on to the next day, shes gets my permission and starts dating some guy (she treats me like a brother now and always wanted my permission and acceptance for things like this) i dont know the guy but I heard good things from people and when I asked around so I give her the thumbs up and they start dating, apparently a real gentlemen about everything too. keeping up looking into him I find out he did 2 years for getting fucked up on meth with 2 others and for no reason or point they beat the shit out of some college student on his way home so bad they put 7 fractures in his spine and cant have children now, but I say to myself, since a year ago I've changed a lot since my big break up and tell myself this guy seems like a differnt type of person now and I let the past go away, my friend and her boyfriend hit some money issues and are staying at sketchy shelters and so where they were sleeping in a car I let them stay at my place and turns out they had been stealing cash, jewelry and anything else they could fit in their pockets. I proceed to do nothing more then tell her shes never welcome in my home again. and this finished up the first part 2 1/2 months after all that ally texts me up, we had been talking back and forth for a few months, just what are you up to sorta things, and last monday night she invites me over, now the buses where I am close at 6:30 so she tells me just to spend the night, well after 5hours of rum and cokes, talking about appreciation for vinyls and talking about why she broke up with her ex after 7 years, (shes only 21) and this new guy Alex, shes telling me about how none of his friends (19) had never even seen real tits and were bugging eachother and how she while overhearing this on the couch just jacks up her shirt and flashes them (which was way funny) and how this new guy seems to be a real nice person, always forgives people and never holds grudges. After all the drunk admittance to eachother and telling of truly embarrassing grade-school stories we start listening to some Glen Miller and 1930s-1950s music, real swing stuff, and when I point my finger at her for something I dont even remember she just starts sucking it all blowjob style and telling me about how shes allergic to cum but has a oral fixation, and so I let her do her thing for when felt like 4-5 min she stops to put more music on and I pull her in by me and things are getting heated, so after a great 4 hours well pass out, ninja past her roommates to get some water and passout, the next morning she wakes up grabs some Tums Antacids and just back in bed, she gets up a few more times and throws up, I eventually wake up fully and shes telling me how shes still hungover and how shes got to tell Alex (the guy she interested in but no seeing yet) about this, I agree and after sitting there for a while I let her just passout and sleep through her hangover I catch a few buses, get back home, sneak past my roommate and play some Starcraft 2 thinking I had a great night. days goes by, were chatting, she tells me about how shes waiting to hear from him, I eventually get in mega pain from all that sex, realizing how bad she scratched up my back and arms, I nail off a text asking how the hangover was and passout to game of thrones before I get a answer, I wake up to a text saying it wasnt a hangover but guilt sick and that the moment she told Alex it stopped, so I asked howd he take it, and turned out he was pretty pissed (I dont blame him but I couldnt help hoping for more) and now he doesnt want me talking, texting her and if I see her on the streets to pretend shes a stranger, I lost one of the only decent people I know in this city, the person you helped me cheer up on shitty days, the only person with the same appreciation for old music like me for a one night stand. I currently have no idea what to do with myself for letting something like this fuck up so badly,

I need 10 dollars for this Magic mouthwash script I have and Basically my dad spent all the money so now I have to suffer till I get money to pay for it...Possibly even progressing of infection....I Feel so ashamed for asking but if someone could spare 10 dollars on Paypal I would pay you back by Saturday...This stuff numbs my gums etc...Ill even post a picture of my teeth to prove it...Please for the love of christ help. [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/msODy.png[/IMG] Paypal is [email]kimaru22@gmail.com[/email]....

[QUOTE=Kimaru;35894332]I need 10 dollars for this Magic mouthwash script I have and Basically my dad spent all the money so now I have to suffer till I get money to pay for it...Possibly even progressing of infection....I Feel so ashamed for asking but if someone could spare 10 dollars on Paypal I would pay you back by Saturday...This stuff numbs my gums etc...Ill even post a picture of my teeth to prove it...Please for the love of christ help. [/QUOTE] May I ask what happened to your mouth?