picking up a ten strip for the weekend!
hopefully it will be good tripping weather
[QUOTE=JakeIsWin;35817418]Got invited to a friend's going away party (he's going to bootcamp for about four years), booze and bitches ahoy![/QUOTE]
bootcamp for four years?
pretty sure bootcamp is a few months
He meant prison. He's going away to prison for four years.
[QUOTE=Mac2468;35817494]bootcamp for four years?
pretty sure bootcamp is a few months[/QUOTE]
Bootcamp as in Department of Corrections 'probation' bootcamp. Either he took a deal for good behavior at this place or he gets locked up for a few years.
[editline]3rd May 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=OutOfPop;35817570]He meant prison. He's going away to prison for four years.[/QUOTE]
What he said^
[editline]3rd May 2012[/editline]
Bump of resin. ewww, gotta make do with being broke.
Just got a Volcano vaporizer.. TINYCHAT ROLLCALL, MOTHERFUCKERS
I was toking with my bro Isaac (Dr. Bean) a while back and he told me something (I forgot what it was) but I thought he said "I'm always out of seventy four" implying that seventy four was a noun and he never had any. All I remember was zoning out and going on an adventure of thought, then he poked me and completely derailed my train of thought. I ended up having fabricated this mental image.
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/Uyg9U.png[/IMG]
So I finally achieved an ambien high last night. I took 25mg because I usually take 15mg for sleep, for some reason I have a high natural tolerance and the recommended 10mg never did anything for me.
I'm not sure how to describe it... Everything was beautiful, there was somewhat of a curve to everything I saw, almost like I was looking through a fish eye lens at the world. I have two monitors and my second one is only a few degrees off the first, but it felt as if they were wrapping around me giving myself a wide tunnel vision of only my monitors. Text had almost like a 3D effect to it, the text was pushed forward and its background was pushed back, it appeared as though I was able to look in-between the text and my screen by looking from the side.
Communication in all forms we're difficult. I was on skype with a few of my friends at the time and they could hardly understand what I was saying. I would just keep rambling on about what I was seeing with nonsense, even I had a hard time understanding what I was trying to say. Typing was also difficult, normally my fingers are capable of seeking the keys by themselves, but it seemed I could only find the area of the desired key and mash on them, leading to typo upon typo.
My ability to imagine things was greatly enhanced. Closing my eyes would suddenly transport me to another world, I could vividly see whichever location I wanted and it felt like I was really right there. Listening to my friends on skype with my eyes closed made it seem they we're merely inches away as if they were in the same room sitting next to me. One of my regrets is not remembering to listen to music in this state, could have been an exhilarating experience.
I'm typing this now on 25mg of Ambien and I feel like it's beginning to kick in. From start to finish typing these short paragraphs have gotten progressively difficult. I can already see I have a lot of proof reading to do (which now may make it worse) sorry if this all seems like crazy rantings not understandable even to those of the highest of highs. The characters on my wallpaper are beginning to move, so I shall take that as a sign to stop.
I am the arithmetic arbiter of parametric eternity, the sole substantive unexpurgated presence of symmetrical destiny. Conjugator of both beginning and the end, a floating symbol of the linear time coefficient. I am the subjective variable of defined presence in space and duration, a super organism composed by the collective of history, culture, knowledge, diversity and society.
I am us. We are one.
Finally got a cid hookup and my iphone craps out again.
anyone wanna play killing floor or something. its boring playing with random people sometimes.
toked up at home while my mom sleeps
i don't know how you guys do it, that shit is scary as fuck
Late night bump
I just cut my fingers with a sharp knife lol, actually pretty deep. Sprayed with blood everywhere, now I cant use my right hand. Hopefully weed will help on the pain :)
EDIT
Now how would I be able to roll one, with one hand?
You should probably get it checked out, I know someone who did that and they cut one of their finger's tendons.
[QUOTE=Fixed;35820572]I just cut my fingers with a sharp knife lol, actually pretty deep. Sprayed with blood everywhere, now I cant use my right hand. Hopefully weed will help on the pain :)
EDIT
Now how would I be able to roll one, with one hand?[/QUOTE]
It's too late you need to amputate your right arm.
[QUOTE=Cypher_09;35820602]It's too late you need to amputate your right arm.[/QUOTE]
but I need that arm!
Also @HyperGenesis I'd really like to get it checked, but since the nearest hospital is long away from here, and I don't want to wait 3 hours for probably nothing.
Go to a GP then
Just had a blood test, eughghhghgh
[editline]4th May 2012[/editline]
what the fuck, just had a call from psychiatrist. he needs to see me as soon as possible because an email i sent to them rang a lot of alarm bells about my safety.
i don't know what the hell's going to happen, wish me luck guys, he (and I don't know who else) is gonna be in here 5 minutes
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/1uMKX.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Cypher_09;35820864]Just had a blood test, eughghhghgh
[editline]4th May 2012[/editline]
what the fuck, just had a call from psychiatrist. he needs to see me as soon as possible because an email i sent to them rang a lot of alarm bells about my safety.[/QUOTE]
Seriously good luck man, let us know how you get on <3
He came and told me that they're thinking of putting me in hospital very soon, and he's worried because the best place for me to recover is here. He doesn't want to see me in hospital but if I don't "keep quiet" about wanting to harm myself then I am going to be put there.
The problem is that I am going to hurt myself. I want to, and I can't help but want to. It's almost like an overwhelming compulsion.
I told him the only reason I wasn't harming myself is because I was worried what others would think, but with every passing day that I'm secluding myself from the rest of the world, I don't give a shit what they might think, because my social life is almost ruined anyway.
My condition isn't improving, so that's where I'm going to end up. I give in.
[QUOTE=Cypher_09;35821297]He came and told me that they're thinking of putting me in hospital very soon, and he's worried because the best place for me to recover is here. He doesn't want to see me in hospital but if I don't "keep quiet" about wanting to harm myself then I am going to be put there.
The problem is that I am going to hurt myself. I want to, and I can't help but want to. It's almost like an overwhelming compulsion.
I told him the only reason I wasn't harming myself is because I was worried what others would think, but with every passing day that I'm secluding myself from the rest of the world, I don't give a shit what they might think, because my social life is almost ruined anyway.
My condition isn't improving, so that's where I'm going to end up. I give in.[/QUOTE]
Yea, seriously go to a hospital, no need to tip toe around it, just hope that they actually can help.
Plus, you won't be going to a hospital environment where it's all stressful, I'm pretty sure you go somewhere relaxed and hopefully gets your mind off of things, even though I'm sure that's all you can think about right now.
And just remember, "Whether good or bad, nothing lasts, all things must pass."
when i was closing my dugout, and i have a fat bag in there so it barley closes, so i put alot of force on it, and it flew up onto my hand, and slid down my arm about to fall onto my computer, so I lifted up my elbow and flung it back into it's same exact position where it was laying, in the same area too. xD
Bump
Are you allowed to surf the internet in hospital?
[QUOTE=Cypher_09;35821297]He came and told me that they're thinking of putting me in hospital very soon, and he's worried because the best place for me to recover is here. He doesn't want to see me in hospital but if I don't "keep quiet" about wanting to harm myself then I am going to be put there.
The problem is that I am going to hurt myself. I want to, and I can't help but want to. It's almost like an overwhelming compulsion.
I told him the only reason I wasn't harming myself is because I was worried what others would think, but with every passing day that I'm secluding myself from the rest of the world, I don't give a shit what they might think, because my social life is almost ruined anyway.
My condition isn't improving, so that's where I'm going to end up. I give in.[/QUOTE]
Bro I've been in a similar situation three times. I saw the need to put myself in hospital when I saw how others were reacting to me. I was self-destructing and not one person around me knew what to do. Luckily I had great doctors and a great support from the few friends I had left at the time.
You certainly seem to be able to see the emerging problem, which is more than most of the people in those kinds of hospitals can say. Understand that it isn't your fault that you feel that way and that if you just let the professionals do what they do (while, [b]and this is important[/b], making sure what they're doing is helping) and you'll at least start to feel better in a couple of days.
I sincerely hope you feel better man, I know that kind of shit can be rough.
[QUOTE=Cypher_09;35821386]Are you allowed to surf the internet in hospital?[/QUOTE]
my mother is allowed to do that, so i think you will be good :)
[QUOTE=Cypher_09;35821386]Are you allowed to surf the internet in hospital?[/QUOTE]
It depends, I think, on both your age and what kind of place you go to.
Usually for me it began with a trip to the ER, explaining that I'm suicidal and stuff. Then the ER psychologist talks to you for a minute, and decides to put you in the hospital's Psychiatric area. In these areas of regualr hospitals they usually don't even allow cell phones :/
Then if the hospital itself doesn't have an in-patient psychiatric program, they'll get an ambulance to take you to a hospital that does, or in my case one time, a hospital that specializes in psychiatry.
In all three cases of mine, I wasn't in there for more than 9 days, but because it is a short-term in-patient system usually it's very structured, in a way that they can see how you react to therapy and possibly medications. In all three cases, there wasn't a computer to be found, nor a cell phone, etc. There was a free pay-phone you could sign up for time to use, so you aren't completely cut off. But again, there was a certain list of people you could call based on who your parents put on the list.
If it is serious, they may put you in a long-term (or "residential") care. I'm not sure how that works, but I'm sure there is some kind of internet access after a week or three when they know you won't get upset by seeing things on the internet.
This was all my experience - I know it would have really helped to know what I was getting into when I first went to the hospital. This is for the U.S. by the way - it may be somewhat different if you are in a different country, but I assume some of the things are the same.
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