The Underground
[quote]Dream Journal Day 16. Oct 26 2010
I'm in a train station with my family. We wait to board a train. I'm discontent. The train arrives, and we board. It's my mom, dad, sister, and grandparents. This is probably England (I went years ago). We take the train back to Atlanta, Georgia (no ocean???) and go home. No suspecting that it's a dream. We go home. I was going about my daily business when I was told we have to go to a band concert. I didn't want to go at all, I was angry and felt like I had no say in anything. I'm dragged along, and for some reason drive there. I think I had to drive someone else. We get in the theatre and the music began. It sounded horrible, like a 6th grade band. (I've never been in high school band, but did a bit of middle school) I explored the theatre for a bit. It had two floors. I was on the second, the balcony. I go over to the seats my parents are at and see Joel (My cousin and one of the coolest, craziest people I know). He gets up and walks around with me. The music was really annoying. We go down some stairs to the floor below. They were obviously hand built stairs to fill the gap. We went back up and sat down in the seats. The band took a break, where they said they would go to the lobby and relax for a while. Everyone stands, and my mom gets my attention “Mr. Armstrong wants you to take pictures of the band members.” “What?!” “Yeah. You have to go down there now.” “No! I wasn't told anything about this, and I don't want to do it at all!” She's getting angrier. “He wants you to do it, so you have to go. Nobody else can.” “Look. I don't know him, and I don't even like him. I wasn't told anything about it, so I'm not obliged to go take some stupid pictures for him!” “Go. Now.” My mom said. For some reason, I took her seriously, but I knew I would just run off anyway.
I follow Joel. We leave the theatre and go into a big hall. Kind of like the hallways in airports. Joel opens a door that leads to an employee only area. “Joel? Where are we going?” He doesn't reply, which unnerves me a bit. This isn't like him. He goes down some stairs, and we enter the underground of the building. There's strange people down here. Almost post apocalyptic. They have facepaint on, dirty clothes, maybe even some armour. There's a dirty, industrial feel in the air, and sparks everywhere. The ground is dirt and stained. Walls are falling apart. Joel is walking quicker than I can now. This place is huge. “Joel!” I yell. No answer. He takes me past an array of machines, across a large room, and through a hole in the wall. There's small machines with buttons on them. He goes up to one and starts mashing buttons. They have electrical tesla style poles coming out of them. He does the same to another. “What are you doing man?!” “Trying to overload the machines. If the power goes down they can't make you take those pictures.” We're getting weird looks now. I think I punched the buttons on one, and Joel did a few more. He turns and we begin to walk away. I'm less discomforted with Joel now. I feel confident that this plan is good. We take another way back. We go through the hole, and through a place where a few guys are off duty. They have grime all over their faces. We go through a bar. These strange people are all drinking, talking quietly. One of them stands “What are you two doing down here?” “Nothing...” I said. I was nervous “Just walking around.” I couldn't think of anything to lie about. We walk away, obviously leaving. We're about to go up the stairs when my dad comes right down them, and notices us. He's instantly angry. “What are you doing here?!” “Uhh. Nothing. We're just going back up now.” “Aren't you supposed to be taking those pictures!” “I don't have to.” I said sternly. “What are you doing here?” “Using a bathroom.” We go back upstiars, but the power never shut down. We walk down the hallway. Suddenly, I'm sitting in a lobby.
There's people dressed up in sports uniforms like leotards and such. The band was doing something like awards. I sit through the whole thing, and don't take pictures. I didn't have a camera or anything. The event was terribly slow, almost painful in how boring it was. It ends, and I get up to go back. My mom sees me. She's really angry, yelling at me “Why didn't you take those pictures?!”. I don't want to argue. I leave. It fades to me being down a hallway and pressure washing concrete that's already clean. The noise felt therapeutic. I hear noise and feel a shadow. I turn and aim with the nozzle of the hose. My dad comes around the corner. I pull the nozzle a bit and a bit of water shoots towards him. He looks annoyed. He tells me he needed to have me take those pictures, and that I disappointed him. I told him that I don't have to listen to him, that I don't trust him. It didn't feel like my dad. It felt really negative. He morphed into someone a bit different. More perverse and evil look, but not quite inhuman. He pulled out two black capsules. “You're going to take 3 of these, and I'm going to take 4. They have a 50 50 chance of being poison, or being the antidote.” “I'm not going to take any of those. I don't have to.” I replied. It looped back and repeated itself, but instead said “You'll take the poison and I'll take the antidote.” And then something about us being together for something. I refused again. He kept trying to persuade me, and it creeped me out.
I ran down the hallway, out to a parking lot. I realized this was a dream, but wasn't fully lucid. I found my car. It was a lighter champagne and sort of glowing. I unlock the door thinking “He'll catch me. If I even get in the car before he gets here, it won't work.” I surprisingly shut the door, and he wasn't anywhere near. “It's not gonna start.” I said. It started better than I've ever heard it start before. I put it in reverse, back up, and start pulling out of the lot. I see him getting in his old red truck. I drive out and onto Highway 34. I run a few lights, zigzagging in between cars. Police cars come out and start chasing me. I ran every red light and made it pretty far from him. He had some trouble getting through all the wreckage. Everything faded to black. I was back in the room, given the choice of pills, I refuse again. It fades to me driving away. This time on Fischer road. I'm driving over 90 (impossible for this area. Too many turns and hills) away from my dad. He's close this time. I'm being chased by cop cars and cops on these weird futuristic motorcycles. My car maneuvers more like a motorcycle than anything else. They're trying to use their vehicles as blockades, but I just zip past them. It ended with it fading back like it did before, as I approached tons of parked cop vehicles.[/quote]
Can somebody explain this? Who was my dad and who was Joel? Joel was obviously on my side but I still had an off feeling around him. My dad creeped the fuck out of me. Also, why did it loop so much? Lesson?
[QUOTE=Jessbinx;25683430]I'm considering WILD, but my mind is a fuckup, and I don't want to see anything scary. However, I always sleep on my side, facing the wall, with the duvet over my head. Would this mean I wouldn't hallucinate images, only sound?[/QUOTE]
no, it'd mean that there's going to be scary shit like ghosts or zombies morphing or breaking through your wall in extreme cases
:v:
People often also feel a sense of evil without necessarily seeing it, basically you can feel like the devil itself is behind you, and hear and feel its breathing and strong, incredibly evil presence, just not see it. Even that is enough to shit your pants, trust me. But if you know that it's only in your head, it'll help you cope with it.
And scary shit in SP doesn't always happen. But it's common.
[QUOTE=Orkel;25683625]
And scary shit in SP doesn't always happen. But it's common.[/QUOTE]
I would say that expecting it facilitates it's occurence.
[QUOTE=DOG-GY;25683483]The Underground
Can somebody explain this? Who was my dad and who was Joel? Joel was obviously on my side but I still had an off feeling around him. My dad creeped the fuck out of me. Also, why did it loop so much? Lesson?[/QUOTE]
Means you're gay
[QUOTE=Ghibli;25684392]Means you're gay[/QUOTE]
my life is ruined omg
truth hitcha like a bag a' bricks
[QUOTE=Ghibli;25684581]truth hitcha like a bag a' bricks[/QUOTE]
gotd damn
[QUOTE=1STrandomman;25684333]I would say that expecting it facilitates it's occurence.[/QUOTE]
Yep, it does. But the subconscious can create the scary SPs just as it can create normal nightmares without any cause whatsoever, they just come sometimes.
zin add me on steam. haven't had a chance to talk to you
In that case, I think I might leave WILD alone. I am able to scare myself shitless with my waking imagination, let alone a partially dreaming one xD
[QUOTE=Jessbinx;25688838]In that case, I think I might leave WILD alone. I am able to scare myself shitless with my waking imagination, let alone a partially dreaming one xD[/QUOTE]
NO. BAD ATTITUDE. DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS.
WILD is awesome. It is better than almost every other method once you get used to it. Don't psych yourself out and think it's terrible because bad things COULD happen. I've never gotten scary SP, and not everyone does. It really depends.
Here's how I like to think about it. Pretend you're six years old, right? And you have a toybox full of a LOT of toys. You, being a dumb kid, dump out all the toys instead of sifting through to find the one you want. So out of the pile of toys and rubbish comes a couple of things you want to imagine out, which you do.
If LD's are like the scenarios you act out, SP is kind of like the pile of toys you dumped out. It can be ANYTHING, really, but it's not likely it'll be shit your pants scary, unless you have that stuff in your toybox, which you won't. Exception is if you've had a nightmare recently, or you're feeling EXTREMELY stressed or depressed or anything that could trigger a nightmare.
Had a job interview today.
... My best friend got the job instead of me.
ffs
[QUOTE=DOG-GY;25683483]The Underground
Can somebody explain this? Who was my dad and who was Joel? Joel was obviously on my side but I still had an off feeling around him. My dad creeped the fuck out of me. Also, why did it loop so much? Lesson?[/QUOTE]
Well obviously there was some sort of deeper meaning to all this.
On first glance, it seems to do with fighting the establishment.
No idea what the establishment is, though.
Seems like whatever you did with the machines made it possible to escape, though. That's what I get out of the fact that the car worked despite pessimism, and it probably repeated as much as it did because you weren't supposed to say no.
I guess even within the dream, the photos were a metaphor for giving in.
So this morning I woke up with another Touhou song in my head. I still haven't figured out what it was, so I'll do some research. I bet it has some sort of meaning. All the Touhou music could have something to do with the Touhou songs I've been downloading, too...
Well, gotta go do some DJ stuff now (and Touhou, w00t) :D
I figured (after) I probably wasn't supposed to say no to anything. Didn't think about the machines, thanks!
Everyone just creeped me out and I wanted to get away, idk.
Thanks for the insight!
Why is this on the second page :colbert:
Anyway haven't had any luck with lucid dreaming, got to keep trying. Probably gonna start a dream journal now.
Guys I've been trying to get sleep paralysis for ages but I can't fight the urge to swallow. It feels like theres so much welling in my throat I'll choke. Help me :saddowns:
[QUOTE=krail9;25697787]Guys I've been trying to get sleep paralysis for ages but I can't fight the urge to swallow. It feels like theres so much welling in my throat I'll choke. Help me :saddowns:[/QUOTE]
Try WILD laying down.
Or drink some water.
anyways, I bought San Andreas yesterday and played it until 1:30. I think I had a dream about it. When I laid back down to try to remember it, I fell asleep and was almost late for school. The dream might have been about my 3 star police chase on my bicycle. I felt like a boss after that :smug:
[editline]28th October 2010[/editline]
I think my sub is protecting me from fears. I try to tell him that I WANT to be scared shitless, but I havent had a nightmare for at least 7 years.
I once had a dream about those guy with a pumpkin head and a chainsaw (from Serious Sam) chasing me down my house, I was cornered by him and I got my head cut off by his chainsaw and I woke up like I almost choke myself.
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;25701081]If your sub is there, you wont be scared shitless.[/QUOTE]
aaaawwwwwww :saddowns:
oh well.
I got to get my sleep schedule back on track.
fuck college
i've gotten less than 3 1/2 hours of sleep for an entire week straight. my face feels like it's under pressure.
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;25689286]NO. BAD ATTITUDE. DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS.
WILD is awesome. It is better than almost every other method once you get used to it. Don't psych yourself out and think it's terrible because bad things COULD happen. I've never gotten scary SP, and not everyone does. It really depends.
Here's how I like to think about it. Pretend you're six years old, right? And you have a toybox full of a LOT of toys. You, being a dumb kid, dump out all the toys instead of sifting through to find the one you want. So out of the pile of toys and rubbish comes a couple of things you want to imagine out, which you do.
If LD's are like the scenarios you act out, SP is kind of like the pile of toys you dumped out. It can be ANYTHING, really, but it's not likely it'll be shit your pants scary, unless you have that stuff in your toybox, which you won't. Exception is if you've had a nightmare recently, or you're feeling EXTREMELY stressed or depressed or anything that could trigger a nightmare.[/QUOTE]
I love that analogy, I understand you completely. Hokay, I won't discount it then. I'll wait another week after I get my normal sleeping pattern back to see if that helps me get another lucid/helps my sub reappear. If this fails, all systems go, because I really do want to see him again.
Well, I got one of my midterm exams back. [b]C- [i]WOO![/i][/b]
Yeah, I was expecting organized writing to be a problem, but I had no way of telling how big of a problem. Obviously it was big enough.
It's weird, though, because I'm still feeling pretty good. I almost laughed when I saw the grade. I suppose it helps that the professor said that he found my writing interesting, that I had some really interesting ideas, but I still need to actually answer the questions in some way. Doh
We're going to have a chat about how to go about doing future exams, because it's something I clearly have no experience in dealing with. Could be my atypical education, could be cognitive peculiarities, but whatever the case I'm not going to get better by trying the same thing over again.
In other news, I'm still trying to figure out what the most recent Touhou song was. My sub says it's something significant, but can't actually figure out how to just tell me what it is. This is frustrating, since I spent all last night trying to figure it out. 6 hours, at least, which is just too much. Not to mention the numerous false leads I've been pursuing... -_-
[QUOTE=Birdman101;25700868]-snip-
I think my sub is protecting me from fears. I try to tell him that I WANT to be scared shitless, but I havent had a nightmare for at least 7 years.[/QUOTE]
Well, then settle for something less scary. Doesn't seem too hard to figure out to me. Your sub should be willing to compromise if you ask nicely enough.
Heck, you could do one of those weird nightmares where you dream up a scenario of how you would deal with a fear you don't have.
Or maybe that's just me...
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;25700728]-snip-
She resembled some type of red wild cat. she also had massive fangs, spots, and a Mohawk. and was now taller.
-snip-[/QUOTE]
[img]http://www.ffcompendium.com/art/7-red13-a.jpg[/img]
Would it be at all related to this?
This is immediately what I thought of, in any case...
Speaking of metaphors, I feel like I should share my technique for clearing my mind and focusing.
You all know of that old N64 game, Legend of zelda: ocarina of time? Well, back in the day of N64, this game was my favorite game on the face of the planet. My favorite place was the windmill in the little village next to the castle. Well, if you go into the windmill and play the song of storms, it starts raining and the windmill speeds up.
For about a few years now, I have known about visual imaginings using metaphors to have effects on mood/behavior. Since then, whenever I try to use a visual metafor to concentrate, I have been "cockblocked" by a vision of a large wooden wheel turning cogs at certain different speeds. Recently, I realized what this is. Its the windmill. Last time I was cockblocked by it, I imagined the rest of the windmill, then played the song of storms in my head (catchy tune too). It worked. The windmill sped up, and I instantly felt more aware and focused. I then proceeded to finish my geometry test 5-10 minutes before anyone else, something that has not happened since I decided not to give a flying fuck about school, in 4th grade. I got a pretty good grade, too.
Imagine how cool it would be if, when I get good at LD'ing, My inner mind was played out in a metaphor of the village.
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;25700728]This may be the start of a new era for me. I will ask my sub to take me on a tour of my nightmares. I will fight them all. then, in the end, my worse fear.[/QUOTE]
So you're going to go around and get in fights?
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-DblXaqQMk[/media]
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;25700728]My sub helped me combat my childhood reoccurring nightmare.
The nightmare started out on a dark beach. I was somewhere between fully immersed and semi lucid. this dark beach was very rugged and rocky. I had the sense of deja vu the entire time. With me were 2 friends. ones name was falyn and the other clayton. we were hiking around looking for something. I don't know what it was. but we were traveling past some interesting geometry in the rocks. we got into a little dugout in the rock.
I wake up in my room. i realize im dreaming. i try to remove my sunglasses. everytime i do, my regular glasses keep appereing on my eyes. when i remove those, the sunglasses do. i remove the sunglasses and leave the other. i walk around, and then i decide to take on the nightmare again. so i lay back in bed.
I enter the cave. im in level 2 of the dream world. i see the thing. it was a little girl. when i came upon it, she turned into a dog. this dog was very menacing. my friends are no were to be found. i try to awaken. i wake up in my false room. then in my real room. my eyes are barely open. its dark. i close my eyes.
i entered a nexus. people leaving and people entering. it was like a post office. no windows. "subconscious are you here?" no reply. I looked around. one girl. red hair, kind of short. in line at the booth. one man in a business suit. a few other generic characters. all leaving, entering, or in line. i close my eyes and imagine my sub walking up to me behind me. its the red headed girl.
"hi" she says
"hey, whats this nightmare about?"
"what?"
"the nightmare i just false awakened from?"
"you are going to have to show me."
now the strange part. i grab her arm, and tap her right shoulder under the collarbone. We are all of a sudden outside the small cave.
"oh this one, yea, this was when you forgot." at this point, i realized my sub was tied to my memory as well. "where you obey everything she says, because you are in love." remember, this nightmare is REALLY old. when i was 8 or so. so the small girl makes sense. why i was here now, i can have my anti sub to thank for that.
she led me into the cave. where that nightmare was waiting. she was at the end of a hallway. a room to the right. and branch to the left.
"give me another word and i will kill them now" said the nightmare. "do it" i said.
It charged into the room to the right and jumped onto my friend. who was on the other side of a table. i chase it. when it jumps on him, it goes for his throat. i pull it off of him. and now im trying to strangle it on a wall. im holding it, its snapping at me. when i see the fangs.
It had massive K9s. at least 5 inches. the other teeth weren't pushovers ether. I wrestle it for a while. when i look at the door to my left, my sub.
She resembled some type of red wild cat. she also had massive fangs, spots, and a Mohawk. and was now taller. i look back at the nightmare. i continue to strangle it. its fangs shatter. and drops to the ground.
I wake up.
This may be the start of a new era for me. I will ask my sub to take me on a tour of my nightmares. I will fight them all. then, in the end, my worse fear.
Zin?[/QUOTE]
Beating the shit out of nightmares is always fun. Sounds like you're proposing some sort of progressive arena battle. Between the two of us, you'll lose the fight against your worst fear. You can't win that.
Breathing through your nose is so weird when it's closed...
Anyways, another lucid dream last night. I took advantage of women :smug:
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;25711808]I can't win? Why not? Even after I take on all my nightmares?
Even with the support of my sub?
Ooh, what if I can make nice with my anti? That would be awsome.
Isany of this possible?[/QUOTE]
Well to be fair, fear is a perfectly natural response to things, so it's a bit impossible to stop being afraid of anything for the rest of ever.
That said, it sounds like a reasonable enough idea to me, so long as you take things slowly. You don't want to rush with these sorts of things.
And as for a worst fear, I'd imagine that the only limiting factor is creativity, so you could probably assume that if you do conquer your worst fear, it'll be replaced with something else. I mean, I personally don't think it worthwhile to aim so high. If you feel it's the proper time to deal with something, you will, but you definitely do not want to mess with things you aren't ready for. Your sub should know the difference.
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;25591258]I had two dreams last night, both were emotionally terrifying.
*dream 1*
the second one was i was drinking a glass of milk and right when i got to the bottom, i swallowed something solid and lumpy.
both were terrifying.[/QUOTE]
LOL, that milk one reminds me of a dream I had a long time ago. I had to do surgery on some girl for an unknown reason, but she died. So her fat, redneck dad tried to give me a glass of milk. On the outside, it looked fine, but somehow my epicness detected that it was just a holographic image or something, so I looked inside and it was black with eyeballs floating around in it. So I threw it at the fat guy, then I woke up..
Edit:
My anti sub would be Anti Beef... must be a vegetarian..
[QUOTE=Fourm Shark;25711808]I can't win? Why not? Even after I take on all my nightmares?
Even with the support of my sub?
Ooh, what if I can make nice with my anti? That would be awsome.
Isany of this possible?[/QUOTE]
It doesn't really work like that. Your worst fear isn't like the boss monster at the end of your nightmare tunnel, it's not something you can whack in the head a few times and it'll be dead. It's always going to be there, it's a psychological thing, it's an emotion. God forbid you DO conquer it, it'll be replaced by something even worse. Just don't really go into that territory, it's not worth it.
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