Annnnd me and my coworkers hours have been cut, we're almost on-call now. :suicide:
Contract work was a mistake as my first job out of college, I just want job security, fixed 40 hours/week and decent pay...
I keep reading the title as "who best are gay"
FPGay awards show when
[QUOTE=inebriaticxp;52577213]I keep reading the title as "who best are gay"
FPGay awards show when[/QUOTE]
I already won most jaded half-gay
not sure I wish to know what award I'd win
[editline]15th August 2017[/editline]
I'd only win one if this is one of those things where we make up categories, in which case I expect a joke award :v:
[QUOTE=LoneWolf_Recon;52576143]Annnnd me and my coworkers hours have been cut, we're almost on-call now. :suicide:
Contract work was a mistake as my first job out of college, I just want job security, fixed 40 hours/week and decent pay...[/QUOTE]
Contract work is hell and awful. I never recommend it. It usually doesn't give benefits. The only good contract work is contract work that pays enough to outweigh how bad everything else is lol.
I've been stressing myself a lot about something that's approaching faster and faster and I dunno if I'm as properly equipped to deal with it as I think I am.
A year from now I'm gonna be switching colleges and it's very very likely I'm gonna be moving away from home. As weird as that makes me feel I've also been excited about it because I've told myself that it's finally gonna be the chance I have to be out and open publicly since I've never come out to my family and therefore am only really out online and stuff.
The thing is I also realize that's sort of an unsustainable and/or unrealistic scenario for a couple reasons.
1.) It's probably (definitely) not possible to not have the two worlds collide at some point. Social media and stuff is for sure a place where that'd happen and I always envision that scenario and the mess it would create and it really dampens my good feelings.
2.) Even if the first issue somehow never presents itself there's another arguably bigger thing that would just stop this all in its tracks to begin with. If I'm not comfortable being out at home and to my family who I [I]know[/I] wouldn't think less of me for it or have anything but a positive reaction, am I [I]really[/I] gonna be able to just flick the gay switch when I'm away? It's easier to do online because I kinda compartmentalize those two worlds so it's easy for me to be out online and closeted offline. But even when I've gone on trips with friends and kinda used that as another gauge of how comfortable I am being out in public I still notice myself going back into the same habitual reflexes that I have in day to day life when I'm in my hometown. I've never really felt 100% comfortable with it just because I've spent all these years paying so much attention to it and only having the discomfort to focus on.
I was kinda regretting my decision to make this post but also getting this out there is sorta helping before I even send it. I dunno if I've really made my point particularly clear but it's something that's been causing me [I]way[/I] more stress than I ever really thought it would and I'm not sure exactly where to go from here or what to do.
I've been out to my parents for like six years now and I'm still not completely comfortable with being 100% out
[QUOTE=cheetahben;52578591]I've been out to my parents for like six years now and I'm still not completely comfortable with being 100% out[/QUOTE]
Yeah I dunno, I don't expect to automatically be 100% comfortable with it. I think I should say it's less of a matter of being out and more of "not....not being out...". Just being able to not have to pay so much attention to it would be nice.
[QUOTE=LoneWolf_Recon;52576143]Contract work was a mistake as my first job out of college, I just want job security, fixed 40 hours/week and decent pay...[/QUOTE]
That's a lot to ask for straight out of college if you dont have connections
[QUOTE=Pascall;52578559]Contract work is hell and awful. I never recommend it. It usually doesn't give benefits. The only good contract work is contract work that pays enough to outweigh how bad everything else is lol.[/QUOTE]
Only $14/hr in my Electronics Technician/Engineering position. I got so wrapped up with graduating, finals, etc last Dec that I was just ecstatic about getting a job in my career literally three days after graduation.
My folks had their doubts about this place and I should've listened.
[QUOTE=Louis;52579429]That's a lot to ask for straight out of college if you dont have connections[/QUOTE]
Is it really? (Not being sarcastic). Like just a basic electrical engineering position, 40hrs/week, super basic medical (I don't have any pre-existing conditions) and atleast $16/hr ([URL="https://www.bls.gov/ooh/architecture-and-engineering/electrical-and-electronics-engineers.htm"]Which is still below the lowest pay for entry level EEs in the US.[/URL]).
I don't need silly stock options, stakes in the company, hell I could even pass on 401k employer matching for the time being. I just want peace of mind.
The job market is already highly competitive, and I don't know how it is over in the US but most of the resumes we receive here we just throw away. Anyone with a lick of experience is already so much more likely to get hired imo and don't even apply normally, boss's friend goes "I want a job" and boss gives them the job because they're buddy buddy.
I'm not trying to be a cunt but if job security was so easy to find then we'd all be living in a much better world.
[QUOTE=Hoob;52578580]I've been stressing myself a lot about something that's approaching faster and faster and I dunno if I'm as properly equipped to deal with it as I think I am.
A year from now I'm gonna be switching colleges and it's very very likely I'm gonna be moving away from home. As weird as that makes me feel I've also been excited about it because I've told myself that it's finally gonna be the chance I have to be out and open publicly since I've never come out to my family and therefore am only really out online and stuff.
The thing is I also realize that's sort of an unsustainable and/or unrealistic scenario for a couple reasons.
1.) It's probably (definitely) not possible to not have the two worlds collide at some point. Social media and stuff is for sure a place where that'd happen and I always envision that scenario and the mess it would create and it really dampens my good feelings.
2.) Even if the first issue somehow never presents itself there's another arguably bigger thing that would just stop this all in its tracks to begin with. If I'm not comfortable being out at home and to my family who I [I]know[/I] wouldn't think less of me for it or have anything but a positive reaction, am I [I]really[/I] gonna be able to just flick the gay switch when I'm away? It's easier to do online because I kinda compartmentalize those two worlds so it's easy for me to be out online and closeted offline. But even when I've gone on trips with friends and kinda used that as another gauge of how comfortable I am being out in public I still notice myself going back into the same habitual reflexes that I have in day to day life when I'm in my hometown. I've never really felt 100% comfortable with it just because I've spent all these years paying so much attention to it and only having the discomfort to focus on.
I was kinda regretting my decision to make this post but also getting this out there is sorta helping before I even send it. I dunno if I've really made my point particularly clear but it's something that's been causing me [I]way[/I] more stress than I ever really thought it would and I'm not sure exactly where to go from here or what to do.[/QUOTE]
My perspective on this might be different since I don't really plan on coming out to my parents, but I think the important thing is is that you won't really know how well you'll adjust until you're in the situation where you have to. Thinking too hard about "what if this" or "what if that" only really feeds your anxiety when the truth is, you won't be sure of how you'll feel until you reach that point. And maybe that's a scary thought, but it's true.
You might be uncomfortable sometimes when you're out and about now but as you get older, you meet people who can relate to your experience and can provide some support as you go, but you have to be willing to take steps if you want to try to get more comfortable with yourself and how you present yourself and how you act.
Where you go from here is ultimately up to you, but i think the first thing you can do is to talk a little more openly about it which you're doing with this post, so that's honestly a good place to start. Try talking more about the things you're feeling and issues you're having with people who you're comfortable with talking to. Try to pinpoint what exactly makes you uncomfortable in certain situations and what changes could be made to the environment or to the people around you or even to yourself that might alleviate that discomfort for you.
You want to figure out what your fears are exactly before you can conquer them. Or at least mitigate them.
I'm so pooped from helping all the students move in these past few weeks, and classes haven't even started yet.
On the bright side, after feeling down for so long, things are finally starting to look up. All my friends I made at my school last year moved in today. We played some Jackbox and caught up with each other. I haven't felt this happy all summer.
How was everyone else's summer? Mine wasn't much to write home about.
I might end up getting an internship at a library, which is actually ironic considering i don't read :v:
asdf
So fucked off, just picked up my A-Level results. Got CE and a U in AS history. Even though I've got an unconditional offer for uni, I thought I did so much better than that. Why do I even bother if I just fail.
Kinda fucked up mine as well, a C, a D and an E
Here's to resits :v
[QUOTE=wunderofwaffl;52582520]I'm so pooped from helping all the students move in these past few weeks, and classes haven't even started yet.
On the bright side, after feeling down for so long, things are finally starting to look up. All my friends I made at my school last year moved in today. We played some Jackbox and caught up with each other. I haven't felt this happy all summer.
How was everyone else's summer? Mine wasn't much to write home about.[/QUOTE]
a month ago i was helping incoming freshmen schedule their classes as well as facilitating an alcohol/sexual abuse awareness class for a few weeks and i almost lost my voice
was a lot of fun tho
Hey everyone, just coming here with an issue of semantics.
I'm not sure if I'm heterosexual and biromantic, or just bisexual without a complete interest in sex with another man.
I'd have a relationship with another man, cuddle, kiss, all that stuff, but I have zero interest in sex. Meanwhile I would have sex with a woman. Would this make me biromantic?
Why label it at all? What will knowing the word for it change?
[QUOTE=Broguts;52587783]Why label it at all? What will knowing the word for it change?[/QUOTE]
You do have a point; I guess it's just so I could put how I feel into fewer words. I only recently accepted this about myself and I'm still trying to completely nail it down with myself.
[QUOTE=Flicky;52587772]Hey everyone, just coming here with an issue of semantics.
I'm not sure if I'm heterosexual and biromantic, or just bisexual without a complete interest in sex with another man.
I'd have a relationship with another man, cuddle, kiss, all that stuff, but I have zero interest in sex. Meanwhile I would have sex with a woman. Would this make me biromantic?[/QUOTE]
I would try not to worry about the details too much for a while, but a label never hurts if your willing to change it if things change.
I was on the flip side of you where I liked other women but had a hard time concepting sex for a long time, but it was mostly just getting comfortable with being bi and liking women and it followed naturally along after a while. It takes time to figure out if something is permanently regularly that way or if its just getting used to a cultural change or gaining comfort with something
Not doing so hot guys. I learned this morning from my step dad that mom says that she loves him, but no longer is in love with him, and wants to be single again. I've been through a lot with him, and shared a lot of really neat experiences, was the big brother to his son from when he was 10, gone on adventures, and I love him. I don't know what mom is thinking because she hasn't been telling me what's been going on, so this is a total shock. My mom is a wonderful person and raised me and sis, and is really badass. I just don't know why she is thinking this way. Maybe it was a long time coming or something and I just didn't see it, but step dad obviously didn't see it either. I'm helpless, shit always goes wrong when I am overseas and it kills me. Last time I was, in Afghanistan, several family members died. This time the love died. It's another shovel of shit on the pile that is going on in my life right now, and I gotta be strong and I will weather this one too. But my god is it difficult. I just don't know what to do.
Hello! I haven't posted since I've asked if bi fellows could post (jokingly of course) but I was wondering about best practices for meeting up and maybe dating others. I don't really have much social experience; I didn't do many extracurricular activities in high school and mostly did projects on my own. I'm also taking care of my autistic brother who needs 24/7 supervision, so there aren't many times where I can go out and meet people. I know something like this takes a lot of time, but I want to do it right. What do you all suggest?
[QUOTE=Phobos001;52588649]Hello! I haven't posted since I've asked if bi fellows could post (jokingly of course) but I was wondering about best practices for meeting up and maybe dating others. I don't really have much social experience; I didn't do many extracurricular activities in high school and mostly did projects on my own. I'm also taking care of my autistic brother who needs 24/7 supervision, so there aren't many times where I can go out and meet people. I know something like this takes a lot of time, but I want to do it right. What do you all suggest?[/QUOTE]
go outside and make friends
sorry if it sounds rude but that's literally the best way
you'll run into someone sooner or later
[editline]18th August 2017[/editline]
whoops didn't read 24/hr bit
i guess try dating apps but they're hit and miss
[editline]18th August 2017[/editline]
setting up a babysitter or a place where he can go to give you at least a day every once in a while isn't the worst thing in the world. you deserve to live a life of your own
[QUOTE=Broguts;52587783]Why label it at all? What will knowing the word for it change?[/QUOTE]
Having a world or a label can really help you feel comfortable with yourself.
I get that people are all about the whole "free yourself from labels just do what you want" thing but that doesn't work for everyone.
Sometimes you can feel stressed and uncomfortable thinking you're an abnormality or something but then you find a word and read about the term and think "hey cool this is me" and it's a ton of comfort to have. I know this from experience.
If nothing else it makes it easier to say to someone "I'm [I]X[/I]." instead of "Well I like this but I don't like that and I feel like this but not like that.".
Having labels also helps you meet people of similar persuasions who can relate to your likes/dislikes/issues/stories. It gives you a small community to communicate with.
I'd be all for freeing yourself from labels but I need the support of like-minded people sometimes and those labels help me find people like that.
[QUOTE=Hoob;52588805]Having a world or a label can really help you feel comfortable with yourself.
I get that people are all about the whole "free yourself from labels just do what you want" thing but that doesn't work for everyone.
Sometimes you can feel stressed and uncomfortable thinking you're an abnormality or something but then you find a word and read about the term and think "hey cool this is me" and it's a ton of comfort to have. I know this from experience.
If nothing else it makes it easier to say to someone "I'm [I]X[/I]." instead of "Well I like this but I don't like that and I feel like this but not like that.".[/QUOTE]
That seems stressful to me. I might be misunderstanding but it sounds like you're in a constant hell of trying to compartmentalize and label aspects of your personality rather than just accepting everything as a part of yourself. Everyone's an abnormality, its ok to be weird and not have words to describe it.
[QUOTE=Broguts;52588849]That seems stressful to me. I might be misunderstanding but it sounds like you're in a constant hell of trying to compartmentalize and label aspects of your personality rather than just accepting everything as a part of yourself. Everyone's an abnormality, its ok to be weird and not have words to describe it.[/QUOTE]
Uhh I mean not really lol.
People categorize themselves on their interests and likes/dislikes all the time. People create clubs, social networks, groups, and other sorts of community related constructs based on their similarities. Labels help you get more specific grasp on how you're feeling rather than floating in a nebulous nowhere-land where you're not sure if anyone else can relate or not.
I find that having a label helps [I]settle[/I] my mind. Not further confuses it. That's not to say that a label has to be permanent either. Going from one thing to another is acceptance of fluidity. But in order to see your progression, you need basic points of reference and those labels help give you that reference.
Not everyone has to like having a label and it's by no means required to be happy. But telling people that they seem like they're in a "constant hell" is probably not a nice thing to say lol. What makes you more secure in yourself is what works for you. And other things might work for other people. It's all acceptable and it's all just as valid.
A label doesn't have to perfectly describe you, it can be just useful to find others with the same/a similar label
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Gay Chat XII - "who🅱est're gay"
