• How would I take over the UK?
    126 replies, posted
get a dump truck and a lot of dirt. Use the truck to bury the entire country in about 30 feet of soil (more if there are tall buildings below. plant trees then enjoy your new jungle nation.
[QUOTE=h2ooooooo;17584477]If you do that I'll beat you up. Let *me* beat my girl instead ;)[/QUOTE] Blast! I've been defeated! I'll get you, h2ooooooOOOOO A PORN SITE :flashfap:
[QUOTE=h2ooooooo;17584477]If you do that I'll beat you up. Let *me* beat my girl instead ;)[/QUOTE] You are never getting sex again.
[QUOTE=xXDictatorXx;17584532]You are never getting sex again.[/QUOTE] You know how fucking great I am, and you need it. End of story.
[QUOTE=h2ooooooo;17584559]You know how fucking great I am, and you need it. End of story.[/QUOTE] My dear you are all the way in Denmark, if I need it so bad I can look closer to home.
[QUOTE=ijyt;17584403]Make most of the nation stationary with this guy. [img]http://i38.tinypic.com/2802u84.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] Rest of us that aren't stuck'll just slap him.
Coup d'etat.
Poison the tea
[QUOTE=Darkhorse01;17584372]Whatever you do, don't ask Derren Brown, he failed at his attempt to control the nation :v:[/QUOTE] Yeah I didn't get stuck to my chair. What a wanker
Easiest way is to support the BNP...
Make a rally and use Nazi like tactics to the Scots. Then you can go ahead and use brainwashing speech techniques to trick them into helping you and disclaim you communism. Get a Hit-man to kill all the people against your way. Avoid the U.N at all costs you should do this when their is a war and the U.N is distracted. Win the support of your people and become dictator idk and kill the U.N since their already distracted. Nutcup with various places Like iran and Russia also china and share the USA Hate. Their you go make sure you don't die and pick a robot leader to rule for you after you die :).
[QUOTE=Goatham;17584270]Destroy the tea supply [editline]04:57PM[/editline] Or force them to go to a dentist[/QUOTE] Not all of us have bad teeth you know.
Threaten to move the Earth out of its orbit, thereby causing a little Ice Age. You'll need a giant focusing dish, a device for increasing the mass of the moon, and the Zeta Crystal. It would probably be a good idea to set up some traps in your death fortress to stop the army getting to you. AA guns will undoubtedly come in useful. Make sure you debug your robots' pathfinding routines. The countries of the world should submit to your demands, and when everyone swears fealty to you, you should be the undisputed master of the earth. The details of the conversion process can be found on the UN website. Good luck!
[QUOTE=BaconDioxide;17586854]Threaten to move the Earth out of its orbit, thereby causing a little Ice Age. You'll need a giant focusing dish, a device for increasing the mass of the moon, and the Zeta Crystal. It would probably be a good idea to set up some traps in your death fortress to stop the army getting to you. AA guns will undoubtedly come in useful. Make sure you debug your robots' pathfinding routines. The countries of the world should submit to your demands, and when everyone swears fealty to you, you should be the undisputed master of the earth. The details of the conversion process can be found on the UN website. Good luck![/QUOTE] Can I join you?
blame the Muslims and the Communists for everything bad about our country and democracy
[QUOTE=PieClock;17586877]Can I join you?[/QUOTE] Sure. You can have Ireland when we're done.
[QUOTE=BaconDioxide;17586900]Sure. You can have Ireland when we're done.[/QUOTE] can i have wales :3
Get the Lib-Dem's in power. No-One listens to them, sure you could slip in a few totalatarian policy's in there.
[QUOTE=BaconDioxide;17586900]Sure. You can have Ireland when we're done.[/QUOTE] Can I have Australia?
be a good MP. whoa i've never heard of one of those before... and can i have mexico for being such a good friend to you over the years (i've got a score to settle with the mexicans...) ?
Contact Garry to permaban the Queen
[QUOTE=BRAWLmilk;17587203]Contact Garry to permaban the Queen[/QUOTE] now that is [sp]GENIUS![/sp] [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Spoiler Abuse" - compwhizii))[/highlight] [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Spoiler abuse" - compwhizii))[/highlight]
[QUOTE=Goatham;17584270]Destroy the tea supply [editline]04:57PM[/editline] Or force them to go to a dentist[/QUOTE] Rated dumb. And I am not ever British.
Say Gordon Brown is bad and everyone will vote for you.
[QUOTE=The DooD;17584262]This is obviously purely hypothetical, but as a British person I some times wonder how I would go about taking over the UK. I did initially mean by force, but if you haeve suggestions of how to do it politically post them also.[/QUOTE] You wouldn't. Unless you somehow managed to gather, train and supply a conventional force that could at least match the entire British military. Even then assuming everything was equal (which it never would be), you'd get destroyed due to a strategically and tactically superior enemy supported by at least 5 other major nations. More realistically, you can go the path of the IRA and start guerilla warfare with some determined idealists. This however, will ultimately fail, because unlike the middle east were they are fanatical about their ideals and are conditioned from a young age, your idealists are likely bums who had a spot of passion and aren't truly in it to win it. As such, conventional forces will destroy you in force on force fights, and unconventional forces (i.e the fucking SAS) will hit you were it hurts the most or otherwise fuck you up. The only way you could feasibly take over the UK by force is if you were the head of a large powerful country and you had a secret alliance with a multitude of other nations, this way, you could count on having support against British Allies when you start the invasion. More than likely though, this too will fail, as your alliance will probably turn on you (hurf take a look at WW2 for great example).
Order some vikings. You pay with meat, mead and women.
Remove KFC, make sure their entire supply goes to your private storage in a safe container with guards. Soon they'll all be crying at your feet for fried chicken.
[QUOTE=jiggu;17587450]Remove KFC, make sure their entire supply goes to your private storage in a safe container with guards. Soon they'll all be crying at your feet for fried chicken.[/QUOTE] You have some crazy ideas about what British people eat. Taking Top Gear off the air would do some damage.
Lower the VAT
That made no difference last time. Cut fuel duty, now that will work.
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