Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Luxuria;48638413]So hopefully this is the right place to post this, but here goes. I've got my first proper party next month and I'm not a huge drinker/full on party type, and I know that the people there are the polar opposite of me. Normally I just wouldn't go but I've got a lot of mates going and they want me to come, but I don't want to be the topic of conversation as the one who won't get piss drunk. What should I do?[/QUOTE] I guess it depends on your personality. I'm introvert around my classmates for instance and when they all got drunk on a school trip abroad it was absolutely no fun for me. The only way I could've enjoyed being with them was to get as drunk as them since I found that a beer/cigarette makes me a bit more social, but only if I'm on the same level as the others, and since I don't ever want to get drunk I couldn't possibly enjoy any of it. I think it also depends on your relationship with those people. If you're good friends then there may not be almost any issue, but I can't say as I don't have the experience.

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;48638445]I guess it depends on your personality. I'm introvert around my classmates for instance and when they all got drunk on a school trip abroad it was absolutely no fun for me. The only way I could've enjoyed being with them was to get as drunk as them since I found that a beer/cigarette makes me a bit more social, but only if I'm on the same level as the others, and since I don't ever want to get drunk I couldn't possibly enjoy any of it. I think it also depends on your relationship with those people. If you're good friends then there may not be almost any issue, but I can't say as I don't have the experience.[/QUOTE] I'm close friends with the host and some of the guests but there's gonna be a fair few I don't know.

[QUOTE=Luxuria;48638413]So hopefully this is the right place to post this, but here goes. I've got my first proper party next month and I'm not a huge drinker/full on party type, and I know that the people there are the polar opposite of me. Normally I just wouldn't go but I've got a lot of mates going and they want me to come, but I don't want to be the topic of conversation as the one who won't get piss drunk. What should I do?[/QUOTE] Go along and drink as much as you feel comfortable with. You might get a bit of ribbing on the night if you don't keep up with them but they won't hold it against you. If you don't want to get piss drunk, don't. Besides, the following morning the people who got piss drunk won't remember much and will have forgotten that you didn't drink as much as them so it won't affect anything in the long run. Also this: [video=youtube;MslSWypFOK4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MslSWypFOK4[/video]

[QUOTE=Handsome Matt;48638454]Nobody will care if you're not getting piss drunk. Drink as little or as much as you like. Just have fun, don't make a big deal of the fact that you're not a drinker.[/QUOTE] I figured it may just be me over expecting pressure from others. Guess I'll just go into it with an open mind, thanks! [editline]8th September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Mythman;48638464]Go along and drink as much as you feel comfortable with. You might get a bit of ribbing on the night if you don't keep up with them but they won't hold it against you. If you don't want to get piss drunk, don't.[/QUOTE] Sounds about right, I just hope that if it is brought up they don't really focus on it.

[QUOTE=Luxuria;48638512] Sounds about right, I just hope that if it is brought up they don't really focus on it.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't worry about it: drunken people aren't known for their attention spans. If it gets brought up they'll mention it a couple of times then get bored and move on. It's happened to me a couple of times - they move on after a minute or two. Sidenote: Gotta love a bit of Ghost B.C.!

[QUOTE=Mythman;48638570]Sidenote: Gotta love a bit of Ghost B.C.![/QUOTE] You know it! And thanks for the advice man, feeling a lot better about it now.

[QUOTE=Luxuria;48638512]Sounds about right, I just hope that if it is brought up they don't really focus on it.[/QUOTE] nobody will lol, people have better stuff to talk about at parties, literally never seen someone say "woah look at that guy not getting drunk" just relax and go with it, drink however much you want to

My lass got pretty broken about something, and the way she did it freaked me out a little on the inside. We We were house mates for a little while and when I moved out we started dating. We've not had sex together yet. Though she knows how to kiss Neither of us has been in a long relationship before. I made a few jokes about. Also I have the word virgin plastered on my forehead. Anyway. we were on a walk after dinner and she told me she had a secret. Naturally, I start guessing the most ridiculous things that come to mind. Then we stop a bit. She starts getting agressive and lengthly with the kissing and makes an attempt to sound a little predatory and that she's done all kinds of things (She didn't get into detail. Just 'all kinds of things' and 'yes' when I made a hand movement) She starts cring and then she asks if I'm hurt by that. I, being the honest bastard that I am, Said "A little". She was a lot more cut up about it than me. A minute or two of explaining that it's alright and cheering things the fuck up and we're good for the rest of the date. my problem is that I kind of want to know what she's done. But she doesn't make it sound like it's something she's happy with. It doesn't feel good, and I know my sentiment is illogical. Other than this little episode, the girl is top quality stuff and I'm constantly puzzled by her choice in me. I'm just wondering if I should ever bring this up. She was pretty vague about it. It could be anything from a mistake with one guy when she was pretty young to some kind of dread sex story that chronicles enough to inspire a worldwide charity. I mean to keep with the girl. But there's some biological mechanism in place that makes me feel bad about not knowing. The kind of agressive intimacy she showed before she told me of this makes me wonder if she was damaged somehow by this. I think we're going to start with the sex soon. I'm just wondering if I should learn before then or much later down the line.

I'd give it time, honestly. It sounds like something that affected her on some level that she might not be ready to talk about in length with you yet. The fact that she sort of told you in general is a good thing though. Means she trusts you in some way. I'd just relax and ride the tide, but if it becomes a thing that you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to know, try confronting her about it when you guys get a little closer. Not aggressively, mind you. Just try and get her to open up a little about it. If she doesn't want to and it seems like something you can't really just "let go", then it might not be the most ideal relationship for you.

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;48638355]eh? [editline]8th September 2015[/editline] u sure about that[/QUOTE] Don't start with me. You probably missed what I said about how I don't find certian kinda of girls attractive. Annnd someone essentally said that "well maybe its because ur ugly so its a pot calling the kettle black situation" No, I'm not. By general beauty standards I am a decent/pretty okay looking girl. (skincolor has nothing to do with that, but one of my things is I refuse to date people who aren't white because I just dont find other skin colors attractive, im not saying my standards are the general standards, you get what I'm saying here?) [editline]8th September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Harry3;48638217]You're 18. I lost the v at the weekend aged 23, havent had a girlfriend since I was 14. [sp]yeah I just wanted to get that in there, woooo[/sp] :toot: Just chill out, you're young and got maybe college or jobs or moving out ahead of you. All of which will bring you to meet new people.[/QUOTE] Thank you! Someone is being civil for once! That's exactly the game plan, I'm trying to get a job (been trying all summer with no luck) and eventually move out of my homophobic parents house. Because I can't come out to them or I'm fucked. And I hadn't looked at it that way, hopefully when one of the dozens of places I applied for actually hires me I'll meet people.

I am willing to put $10 that someone said they have a tumblr and have a socialist left political view and are very progressive and you immediately called them out for being an SJW and called them gross and fat defenders

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;48638811]I am willing to put $10 that someone said they have a tumblr and have a socialist left political view and are very progressive and you immediately called them out for being an SJW and called them gross and fat defenders[/QUOTE] No, don't bring politics into this. That's dumb. And there's no need to make bets. I had loads of classmates who were (again because there aren't any other terms for this) "SJW Landwhales" All the results I had to sift through on those dating sites were all local girls in my area that weren't up to par with the standards I have. Many of them were overweight and of another skin color, had crazy colored half shaved hair.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;48638858]No, don't bring politics into this. That's dumb. And there's no need to make bets. I had loads of classmates who were (again because there aren't any other terms for this) "SJW Landwhales" All the results I had to sift through on those dating sites were all local girls in my area that weren't up to par with the standards I have. Many of them were overweight and of another skin color, had crazy colored half shaved hair.[/QUOTE] There are other terms you can use, people is one, large is another, not fucking SJW landwhales I would not befriend anyone who used those terms, I've disowned just about anyone who says anything like that I wouldn't be surprised if others have as well. Does it matter if they are overweight? Like what is your definition. I find honestly personality > appearance in many cases I have met some extraordinary people who to others (like you) were classified as "ugly "landwhales"" and they were the most down to earth people ever, I befriended them, I recall great memories with them. You pile these triumphant expectations you best believe you'll be disappointed frequently Lose this bullshit and I guarantee you will not regret it

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;48638766]Don't start with me. You probably missed what I said about how I don't find certian kinda of girls attractive. Annnd someone essentally said that "well maybe its because ur ugly so its a pot calling the kettle black situation" No, I'm not. By general beauty standards I am a decent/pretty okay looking girl. (skincolor has nothing to do with that, but one of my things is I refuse to date people who aren't white because I just dont find other skin colors attractive, im not saying my standards are the general standards, you get what I'm saying here?) [editline]8th September 2015[/editline] Thank you! Someone is being civil for once! That's exactly the game plan, I'm trying to get a job (been trying all summer with no luck) and eventually move out of my homophobic parents house. Because I can't come out to them or I'm fucked. And I hadn't looked at it that way, hopefully when one of the dozens of places I applied for actually hires me I'll meet people.[/QUOTE] Ok then. Let's evaluate your lack of girls problem then. How big is your town? What do you do to hang out? Do you meet new people often? How often? Do you go out often? Do you talk to people outside your group of everyday friends? I want to help you sort your shit out man. But you sound like you have a very prejudiced notion of your surroundings. It's almost like you think you're too good for everyone. I used to think that way too. Would get pissed off at most kids. Until l moved to another city to study and had to make friends from scratch. Made me miss my hometown. With that atitude you'll miss out on the good thing in life. Humble up a bit dude. Give people a chance.

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;48638885]There are other terms you can use, people is one, large is another, not fucking SJW landwhales I would not befriend anyone who used those terms, I've disowned just about anyone who says anything like that I wouldn't be surprised if others have as well. Does it matter if they are overweight? Like what is your definition. I find honestly personality > appearance in many cases I have met some extraordinary people who to others (like you) were classified as "ugly "landwhales"" and they were the most down to earth people ever, I befriended them, I recall great memories with them. You pile these triumphant expectations you best believe you'll be disappointed frequently Lose this bullshit and I guarantee you will not regret it[/QUOTE] I just said earlier in a [I]previous post[/I] I don't expect a perfect supermodel barbie doll. I don't have high expectations in a girl. I've said this numerous times. All I want is a girl who is "average looking", white (I won't date other skin colors because I don't find it attractive, thats my personal taste) and takes relativley good care of her body. Meaning I won't date overweight people. Sorry fat is just not attractive. Essentially I would date myself if I could. Also girls who shave half their hair or have it dyed insane colors aren't my cup of tea either. I just don't like how that looks. [editline]8th September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48638908]Ok then. Let's evaluate your lack of girls problem then. How big is your town? What do you do to hang out? Do you meet new people often? How often? Do you go out often? Do you talk to people outside your group of everyday friends? I want to help you sort your shit out man. But you sound like you have a very prejudiced notion of your surroundings. It's almost like you think you're too good for everyone. I used to think that way too. Would get pissed off at most kids. Until l moved to another city to study and had to make friends from scratch. Made me miss my hometown. With that atitude you'll miss out on the good thing in life. Humble up a bit dude. Give people a chance.[/QUOTE] Thank you though, the way you're going about this is good, this is progress. My town isn't too big, it's in the "ghetto". (generally it's not that safe of an area) Also what I do to hang out would depend completely on the person and what they want to do, because I'm pretty much down for anything. It can range anywhere from hiking/canoeing/camping to resteraunts/mall or "netflix and chill". I don't get to meet new people all that much because I don't have much that I can do to keep me outside other than running at the track in the mornings. (atm, I'm sure as soon as I find a job and get a real shedule going I'll meet more people.) I don't have a car and there isn't much to do locally, any friends I do have are always busy. I don't get to speak to new people too often.

Well it seems you dont get out much then, so dont blame other people for you not being able to find someone you like. Get yourself out there. But itll take time. Stop stressing so much.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;48638929]I just said earlier in a [I]previous post[/I] I don't expect a perfect supermodel barbie doll. I don't have high expectations in a girl. I've said this numerous times. All I want is a girl who is "average looking", white (I won't date other skin colors because I don't find it attractive, thats my personal taste) and takes relativley good care of her body. Meaning I won't date overweight people. Sorry fat is just not attractive. Essentially I would date myself if I could. Also girls who shave half their hair or have it dyed insane colors aren't my cup of tea either. I just don't like how that looks.[/QUOTE] I would guarantee if you spoke to someone, text and voice only, no picture/webcam/video, and they were everything you were after personally and you fell in love with that but when they showed you who they were and their head was half shaved, they were "full figured" and maybe had darkish skin, you would probably weigh up what it's worth and go for it Like idk what your saying to me is gross, I used to have these expectations, then last year I said fuck it and dropped everything, and what I came out with was some of my best memories. I think you just need to lose all this bullshit and re-evaluate. You would not go out with a good looking, good figured, white girl if her personality sucked hard, so I don't know why you are putting appearance first and then generalising them as SJW landwhales

Not sure why you're immediately ruling out other races in general too, considering there are light-skinned hispanics and light-skinned black people? But hey what do I know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Did your okc profile say "no darkies, no sjw's and definitely no landwhales" and/or "i want a girlfriend free girl"

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;48638929]I just said earlier in a [I]previous post[/I] I don't expect a perfect supermodel barbie doll. I don't have high expectations in a girl. I've said this numerous times. All I want is a girl who is "average looking", white (I won't date other skin colors because I don't find it attractive, thats my personal taste) and takes relativley good care of her body. Meaning I won't date overweight people. Sorry fat is just not attractive. Essentially I would date myself if I could.[/QUOTE] look we know you're saying you don't have high standards but the way you're saying it tells a different story you just seem a bit self absorbed ("i'd date myself if i could", really?) and maybe we're not the first ones to get that impression from you? maybe you're right, maybe every single lesbian in your area is an "sjw landwhale" and you're the only attractive one but i find that very hard to believe. i think it's far more likely that your prejudice is preventing you from connecting with people but you don't realize it

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;48639062]Did your okc profile say "no darkies, no sjw's and definitely no landwhales" and/or "i want a girlfriend free girl"[/QUOTE] No. I gave a brief description of myself and what kinds of things im into, like any other normal person looking for a girlfriend. [editline]8th September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=fruxodaily;48639036]I would guarantee if you spoke to someone, text and voice only, no picture/webcam/video, and they were everything you were after personally and you fell in love with that but when they showed you who they were and their head was half shaved, they were "full figured" and maybe had darkish skin, you would probably weigh up what it's worth and go for it Like idk what your saying to me is gross, I used to have these expectations, then last year I said fuck it and dropped everything, and what I came out with was some of my best memories. I think you just need to lose all this bullshit and re-evaluate. You would not go out with a good looking, good figured, white girl if her personality sucked hard, so I don't know why you are putting appearance first and then generalising them as SJW landwhales[/QUOTE] Wait why should I lower my expectations? Why should I have to lower my opinion of myself? I like how I look, I'm decent by many standards. Whats so wrong with persuing to get what I want?

Pro-tip: Your looks aren't the only thing that matters in this world. Your personality does too. And yours is bad.

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;48639094]look we know you're saying you don't have high standards but the way you're saying it tells a different story you just seem a bit self absorbed ("i'd date myself if i could", really?) and maybe we're not the first ones to get that impression from you? maybe you're right, maybe every single lesbian in your area is an "sjw landwhale" and you're the only attractive one but i find that very hard to believe. i think it's far more likely that your prejudice is preventing you from connecting with people but you don't realize it[/QUOTE] Yes, I come from a small ghetto town where the majority of people here are what I deem "unattractive" Not only that but there's not many girls in my age group that fit my description. Believe it or not being a white female is pretty much being a minority in this area.

I just think what you want is going to keep leading you back to this area where you feel like you can't get anyone Like, if you get what you want in the end, congratulations. But from little things, big things grow By that, I mean build a connection, talk to someone, make connections through them, get to know more, hover in friendship groups, discover all types of new people And if you fall in love with someone's personality but not their appearance, don't let that deter you from a great relationship opportunity It's going to help in the long run

[QUOTE=Pascall;48639274]Pro-tip: Your looks aren't the only thing that matters in this world. Your personality does too. And yours is bad.[/QUOTE] Okay but if you were to throw me into a situation where there were a few lesbian girls I found attractive I can garuntee you I'd have the interest of one or two. This is not one of those situations. So you're not seeing the right me atm. [B]That's like if you go to a supermarket and see a parent yelling at their child for acting up in the store, you assume they're a bad parent overall, when in reality you're just seeing a bad snippet of them.[/B]

I personally don't care about expectations or not. I really don't understand how choosing someone because of hair colour or skin colour would work but it does for some people so fine. But the way you're going about it isn't exactly right. I understand being frustrated about not finding someone who fits your expectations, but you shouldn't call an entire community SJW landwhales, it just alienates people But if you're one of those people who thinks hypocrites shouldn't ever give an opinion because they're hypocrites, feel free to dismiss all I say

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;48639303] [B]That's like if you go to a supermarket and see a parent yelling at their child for acting up in the store, you assume they're a bad parent overall, when in reality you're just seeing a bad snippet of them.[/B][/QUOTE] I hope you see the irony here

This isn't a real life interaction. This is the internet. Where you have all the time in the world to settle yourself down and act appropriately. People who use the excuse of "you're catching me at a bad time" over something like a forum where you have PLENTY of time to think over your words and actions are not excused. You not finding someone for whatever reason for however long is not an excuse to be an asshole. Not sure how many times I have to say it before you understand that. If I were to go around for years not being able to find someone who I could click with because everyone around me is heavily basing themselves on sexual interactions, whereas I'm asexual, it's still not a reason for me to get mad and act like an asshole on an internet forum. Not sure what you're not getting here! I'm not entirely straight myself and I can tell just from this interaction that you are not a woman I'd ever be interested in at all REGARDLESS of how "okay" or "decently attractive" you are because you're essentially saying you can't control your anger on an internet forum, so how the fuck am I gonna expect you to not be an asshole IRL.

also realtalk i had to fucking go make a deviantart you're "average", not gonna lie so you should realistically be assuming the best you're gonna get is "average" looking girls

I was gonna do that because who the fuck uploads their selfies to Deviantart and i was curious but I realized real fast that I don't care enough to do that.