Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

also, are you also fucking other people or are you just chilling out and being in love while she's getting taken to pound town by randos?

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;50016061]also, are you also fucking other people or are you just chilling out and being in love while she's getting taken to pound town by randos?[/QUOTE] Can't be 100% sure about her though, but no. Not that l know of. I don't think so. However I'm staying loyal on my end. :v: But if that would happen, I don't think I'd want that woman to be my girlfriend.

oh sorry that was directed at the dude with the japanese ldr i'm sure you're fine

Went out drinking with a girl friend, her dad and a couple other mates, They kept buying me drinks, which i didnt mine but feel bad about on the whole 'not paying for myself' thing, but theyd insist or otherwise come back from the toilet and theres another ready lol Got pretty hammered, stayed at hers for the night, we shared a bed, cuddling, shared a kiss, lots of closeness that i havemt experienced in a long time, but its playing on my mind a little, more so surprised i went for it instead of overthinking the situation to death like usual it was very nice to have some intimacy but now without the emotional attachment, its like... yeah I could stand for more of that in my life but im not feeling needy/clingy towards it like i used too, which is why i was afraid of getting close to anyone like that for so long, but guess the the two arent mutually inclusive Its really given me a positive boost in self esteem overall and id say it was a good step in the right direction. Its just so bizarre to be able to experience that... and not get 'attached', just accepting it for what it was and etc etc Feels like this is how i should have been living through high school instead of getting soooooo caught up on one girl... but, live and learn i spose [editline]28th March 2016[/editline] Ive also been getting back into old hobbies and generallly enjoying life a lot more again because of it, starting to exercise more... mainly walks and yoga atm as theyre relatively low energy but yeah. Im liking how things are going right now

I feel like this thread would enjoy this clickhole article: [url]http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-signs-dates-going-well-4194?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook[/url]

So I've been dating this girl for about a week and a half now, and I really really like her. Everything was going great until today, when she told me that she hasn't been in a relationship in awhile and isn't comfortable anymore. What do? I haven't done anything to make her uncomfortable, and this is coming out of left field for all I know

[QUOTE=mcgrath618;50022084]So I've been dating this girl for about a week and a half now, and I really really like her. Everything was going great until today, when she told me that she hasn't been in a relationship in awhile and isn't comfortable anymore. What do? I haven't done anything to make her uncomfortable, and this is coming out of left field for all I know[/QUOTE] Not much you can do as it seems like a personal issue for her. If she doesn't want to date, that's that - or she'll get past it and you guys will keep dating. Just don't be a dick about it and try to be understanding and it will work out.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;50022164]Not much you can do as it seems like a personal issue for her. If she doesn't want to date, that's that - or she'll get past it and you guys will keep dating. Just don't be a dick about it and try to be understanding and it will work out.[/QUOTE] Now she's saying that she loves me, but she's not an affectionate person? Help? I think? Is this going in a good direction?

First things first, I'm an exchange student here in Finland. Back in January I developed feelings for this girl, let's call her F. The first day after we met, she went to IKEA with me, just her and I. She asked me. It really seemed like she had something for me. A few days later I learned that she had a boyfriend, which is fair enough. I never got to the point of asking her out or obviously hitting on her. A month passes while I try to forget about her. I start seeing this other girl, C, but I didn't have feelings for her from the beginning, and neither did she. Eventually she showed feelings for me. Nothing is wrong with her, I just don't love her, even though we enjoy each other's company. The talking, the hanging out and the sex is great - but, no feelings. About 3 weeks ago she told me she loved me. Last Wednesday F just randomly started writing me, for no apparent reason. Just to talk, and not about anything particular. Started out with the usual 'long time no see!'. Later that day we ran into each other by chance. I was SO happy to see her. Just from this episode I knew I had to tell C that I genuinely do not have feelings for her. I told her last Friday. She cried, and I comforted her. We're still seeing each other because she's up for it, and I said I was as well. But truth be told, it feels strange for me now, as I'm romantically thinking about another girl. At some point I'll have to turn it into a friendship, but it'll have to wait a little while. Two questions: What should I do with C? She's happy even though she knows our 'relationship' will only last till maximum the end of this semester. I want to keep her as a friend (she's a [B]great[/B] person), and go to a festival in her country with her, and maybe tour some of the area. It's strange, but I feel that she would be a good friend. How do I go about telling her that I after all just want to be friends? What should I do with F? Do I slowly try hanging out with her, seeing if her relationship is going alright? I can't figure out if she's into me or not. She lives in this country and I'm going back in the summer. But deep down I feel this could turn into a great relationship. For me, she's almost perfect. I've been told I shouldn't be one of those 'guys who always think the grass is greener on the other side' but I really do not think that's the case. In case you read all of this, thanks for your time. Tl;dr: exchange student seeing other exchange student but trying to friendzone her to get with a girl who's already taken.

[QUOTE=mcgrath618;50022166]Now she's saying that she loves me, but she's not an affectionate person? Help? I think? Is this going in a good direction?[/QUOTE] Um.. How old is she?

[QUOTE=mcgrath618;50022166]Now she's saying that she loves me, but she's not an affectionate person? Help? I think? Is this going in a good direction?[/QUOTE] In my personal opinion that's a red flag to go nope and run away. Things to consider though are age, mental illness, her situation, and ask yourself why is she telling you this. It might turn into a shit show or you could end up being the girl you stay with. You'll just have to do some thinking and ask her what the fuck is going on and why is she flipping so quick.

[QUOTE=mcgrath618;50022166]Now she's saying that she loves me, but she's not an affectionate person? Help? I think? Is this going in a good direction?[/QUOTE] She's saying that she loves you after two weeks of dating? Does that even make you feel comfortable? It sounds suspiciously desperate of her.

I called it off. Major red flag after that. Crisis averted, return to normal

I have never felt more alone in my life. This isn't a cry for help. I'll be fine. But it comforts me to put this out there, because I know other people who feel the same way will feel a little less lonely. I hope this feeling passes.

[QUOTE=war_man333;50022540]First things first, I'm an exchange student here in Finland. Back in January I developed feelings for this girl, let's call her F. The first day after we met, she went to IKEA with me, just her and I. She asked me. It really seemed like she had something for me. A few days later I learned that she had a boyfriend, which is fair enough. I never got to the point of asking her out or obviously hitting on her. A month passes while I try to forget about her. I start seeing this other girl, C, but I didn't have feelings for her from the beginning, and neither did she. Eventually she showed feelings for me. Nothing is wrong with her, I just don't love her, even though we enjoy each other's company. The talking, the hanging out and the sex is great - but, no feelings. About 3 weeks ago she told me she loved me. Last Wednesday F just randomly started writing me, for no apparent reason. Just to talk, and not about anything particular. Started out with the usual 'long time no see!'. Later that day we ran into each other by chance. I was SO happy to see her. Just from this episode I knew I had to tell C that I genuinely do not have feelings for her. I told her last Friday. She cried, and I comforted her. We're still seeing each other because she's up for it, and I said I was as well. But truth be told, it feels strange for me now, as I'm romantically thinking about another girl. At some point I'll have to turn it into a friendship, but it'll have to wait a little while. Two questions: What should I do with C? She's happy even though she knows our 'relationship' will only last till maximum the end of this semester. I want to keep her as a friend (she's a [B]great[/B] person), and go to a festival in her country with her, and maybe tour some of the area. It's strange, but I feel that she would be a good friend. How do I go about telling her that I after all just want to be friends? What should I do with F? Do I slowly try hanging out with her, seeing if her relationship is going alright? I can't figure out if she's into me or not. She lives in this country and I'm going back in the summer. But deep down I feel this could turn into a great relationship. For me, she's almost perfect. I've been told I shouldn't be one of those 'guys who always think the grass is greener on the other side' but I really do not think that's the case. In case you read all of this, thanks for your time. Tl;dr: exchange student seeing other exchange student but trying to friendzone her to get with a girl who's already taken.[/QUOTE] Why do you think you're better for her than her boyfriend Stop thinking with your penis and being that guy who tries to poach women who are already with other people. The strength of your emotions don't make you any less of a dick for doing it.

[QUOTE=war_man333;50022540]First things first, I'm an exchange student here in Finland. Back in January I developed feelings for this girl, let's call her F. The first day after we met, she went to IKEA with me, just her and I. She asked me. It really seemed like she had something for me. A few days later I learned that she had a boyfriend, which is fair enough. I never got to the point of asking her out or obviously hitting on her. A month passes while I try to forget about her. I start seeing this other girl, C, but I didn't have feelings for her from the beginning, and neither did she. Eventually she showed feelings for me. Nothing is wrong with her, I just don't love her, even though we enjoy each other's company. The talking, the hanging out and the sex is great - but, no feelings. About 3 weeks ago she told me she loved me. Last Wednesday F just randomly started writing me, for no apparent reason. Just to talk, and not about anything particular. Started out with the usual 'long time no see!'. Later that day we ran into each other by chance. I was SO happy to see her. Just from this episode I knew I had to tell C that I genuinely do not have feelings for her. I told her last Friday. She cried, and I comforted her. We're still seeing each other because she's up for it, and I said I was as well. But truth be told, it feels strange for me now, as I'm romantically thinking about another girl. At some point I'll have to turn it into a friendship, but it'll have to wait a little while. Two questions: What should I do with C? She's happy even though she knows our 'relationship' will only last till maximum the end of this semester. I want to keep her as a friend (she's a [B]great[/B] person), and go to a festival in her country with her, and maybe tour some of the area. It's strange, but I feel that she would be a good friend. How do I go about telling her that I after all just want to be friends? What should I do with F? Do I slowly try hanging out with her, seeing if her relationship is going alright? I can't figure out if she's into me or not. She lives in this country and I'm going back in the summer. But deep down I feel this could turn into a great relationship. For me, she's almost perfect. I've been told I shouldn't be one of those 'guys who always think the grass is greener on the other side' but I really do not think that's the case. In case you read all of this, thanks for your time. Tl;dr: exchange student seeing other exchange student but trying to friendzone her to get with a girl who's already taken.[/QUOTE] Your poor "girlfriend".

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;50023466]I have never felt more alone in my life. This isn't a cry for help. I'll be fine. But it comforts me to put this out there, because I know other people who feel the same way will feel a little less lonely. I hope this feeling passes.[/QUOTE] As someone who is really emotional when it comes to breakups, loneliness, etc... I can reassure you it will pass and you'll start feeling better. Just let it sink in. I think you should take this opportunity to also focus on yourself and your life. Which direction you're going, what do you want to do etc. Without, of course repressing all those feelings of loneliness. I know we're not the same, but I actually took the time after I was getting over my ex, to go through a sort of catharsis, you know. I found the courage to start pursuing other dreams, and making myself realize that my happiness wasn't in the hands of others. Quit German classes (will resume in the future though), and started learning the Drums. Also found the courage to quit a degree that was making me feel miserable and got myself to find a decent job, that I found after being kicked around trying to find something decent. The good thing is that all this change made me more confident. Being on the move was like finally being on the wheel, and that certainly attracted new and exciting people. Specially the girl that I'm currently seeing, who is the sweetest person I've ever met. Of course this is not about me. What I'm trying to do here with my example is, in a certain way empower you and other people that may be going through the same. Don't repress your feelings, but keep on the move, don't stop, don't let anything drag you down. Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling but set the bar high. Tell yourself "I've accomplished this, and I'm not accepting or going back to a state of mind bellow that". The simple act of starting to walk in a new direction is pretty much half the battle. You'll be fine. Breakups are a mess, but they make you realize you can do it on your own. And once you start getting back up, finding someone new will be 10 times better than before.

[QUOTE=Ray551;49994085] I really like this girl I met in university a few years back, we became buddies and stuff and then I had to move to another city but we kept in contact. We met up every few months, spending a day together each time just taking walks, drinking coffee, chilling at some nice locations. Stuff like that. We get along great, we laugh a[I] lot[/I] together and stuff. The last time we saw each other we actually went to eat at a nice restaurant, cause she refused to just grab a snack somewhere or anything like that. I don't know if she sees these meetups as just hanging out or as actual dates... do they sound like dates to you guys? We're gonna meet up again early next month and I don't know if I should try to tell her somehow that I like her more than just as a friend or if I should just let it play out. There's a cherry blossom festival coming up that I am planning to ask her out to. [/QUOTE] Just talked to that girl again and we're meeting up on Monday afternoon. I think I'll invite her to dinner at the same restaurant (as in this time I'm going to pay for everything), but I don't know what else we could do, besides going to random places to have coffee or walking around together, like we always do. If the weather's nice we may go to a park or something. The only other thing that comes to mind is going to the movies, but I don't want our time to be spent sitting silently next to each other. Any other ideas?

So uh, I matched with a girl on Tinder, and she said hi. We talked for a bit and then ahe asked me for my facebook. Okay that's fine, it's better to talk there, and it's kins of a signal that she's interested. We've been chatting for two days and she's already asked when we could meet, like several times with different wording. Supposedly, we'll meet on wednestay, and honestly that's great. But I don't know, I find it... Weird? That someone seems so eager to meet me so soon, and that she seems to show a lot of interest, it even makes me a bit uncorfomtable.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;50025097]Why do you think you're better for her than her boyfriend.[/QUOTE] I don't know if I am or not. Her relationship might be going bad. If not, I'll back off. [QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;50025185]Your poor "girlfriend".[/QUOTE] I know... I'm trying to be as nice as possible. She's a great girl and all, but there's no reason to keep dating if one of the person's isn't happy.

I'd advice you to back off the first girl, she is in a relationship. Regardless if it's going well or bad, you must not make it worse. Also, if she'll cheat for you, she'll cheat on you. About the girl you are datong, you are probably hurting her a lot.

Leave the girl in a relationship alone. Break up with the one you have because you're not doing yourself or her any favors.

Yeah I think you're right... I probably shouldn't have a girlfriend at all, for some years at least. I'll just do my best to forget the first girl.

[QUOTE=war_man333;50022540]First things first, I'm an exchange student here in Finland. Back in January I developed feelings for this girl, let's call her F. The first day after we met, she went to IKEA with me, just her and I. She asked me. It really seemed like she had something for me. A few days later I learned that she had a boyfriend, which is fair enough. I never got to the point of asking her out or obviously hitting on her. A month passes while I try to forget about her. I start seeing this other girl, C, but I didn't have feelings for her from the beginning, and neither did she. Eventually she showed feelings for me. Nothing is wrong with her, I just don't love her, even though we enjoy each other's company. The talking, the hanging out and the sex is great - but, no feelings. About 3 weeks ago she told me she loved me. Last Wednesday F just randomly started writing me, for no apparent reason. Just to talk, and not about anything particular. Started out with the usual 'long time no see!'. Later that day we ran into each other by chance. I was SO happy to see her. Just from this episode I knew I had to tell C that I genuinely do not have feelings for her. I told her last Friday. She cried, and I comforted her. We're still seeing each other because she's up for it, and I said I was as well. But truth be told, it feels strange for me now, as I'm romantically thinking about another girl. At some point I'll have to turn it into a friendship, but it'll have to wait a little while. Two questions: What should I do with C? She's happy even though she knows our 'relationship' will only last till maximum the end of this semester. I want to keep her as a friend (she's a [B]great[/B] person), and go to a festival in her country with her, and maybe tour some of the area. It's strange, but I feel that she would be a good friend. How do I go about telling her that I after all just want to be friends? What should I do with F? Do I slowly try hanging out with her, seeing if her relationship is going alright? I can't figure out if she's into me or not. She lives in this country and I'm going back in the summer. But deep down I feel this could turn into a great relationship. For me, she's almost perfect. I've been told I shouldn't be one of those 'guys who always think the grass is greener on the other side' but I really do not think that's the case. In case you read all of this, thanks for your time. Tl;dr: exchange student seeing other exchange student but trying to friendzone her to get with a girl who's already taken.[/QUOTE] I've been through similar, only I didn't want another girlfriend, I simply wanted out of that relationship. I told her I didn't have any feelings for her and of course that made her cry too. I ended up sticking with her for another week to see if my feelings came back, and they didn't. Told the girl again and she broke up with me. If there was anything I would have done differently, I would have figured out my feelings first instead of telling her about them and then figuring myself out. Once I felt certain I didn't have any feelings for her, I would have broke up with her right at that moment. That would minimize the pain on her end.

[QUOTE=war_man333;50026699]Yeah I think you're right... I probably shouldn't have a girlfriend at all, for some years at least. I'll just do my best to forget the first girl.[/QUOTE] you don't have to give up dating or something just back off the two girls for a bit and maybe you'll even find someone else along the way. you don't have to be romantically involved with every girl you meet or cut contact with them completely to avoid them or anything like that. just be friends if you genuinely think they're good friends

[QUOTE=elevate;50027805]I've been through similar, only I didn't want another girlfriend, I simply wanted out of that relationship. I told her I didn't have any feelings for her and of course that made her cry too. I ended up sticking with her for another week to see if my feelings came back, and they didn't. Told the girl again and she broke up with me. If there was anything I would have done differently, I would have figured out my feelings first instead of telling her about them and then figuring myself out. Once I felt certain I didn't have any feelings for her, I would have broke up with her right at that moment. That would minimize the pain on her end.[/QUOTE] The first girl (F) is somewhat symbolic in this thing since she was merely the eye-opener that I shouldn't be dating someone I don't have feelings for. I wish I had posted before (so I could have read your reply) telling her how I feel, since I'm gonna end up saying it again in the near future and then breaking up with her. It's kind of strange. You're having fun with a girl and all of a sudden things get serious and she talks about the future. At first you try picturing yourself with the girl, and you don't really see anything wrong with that. But as soon as you realize you don't 'miss' her or think about her when going to sleep, you know it will never work. At least it only took me a very short time to tell her the truth, but I should have broken up with her at the same time.... now I'm just postponing some more sadness and creating more guilt for myself. It's her birthday today and I'm giving her a 'happy birthday and sorry for making you cry' box of great chocolates. Consumables are good, they don't last forever, so you don't have some stupid thing to remember a person. [QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;50028245]you don't have to give up dating or something just back off the two girls for a bit and maybe you'll even find someone else along the way. you don't have to be romantically involved with every girl you meet or cut contact with them completely to avoid them or anything like that. just be friends if you genuinely think they're good friends[/QUOTE] You'd think so... I'm kind of new to this dating thing. I've had a few big crushes the last years but never done anything about it, since they always seem to be taken. So I decided to date girls whom I find attractive and nice, but I don't immediately have feelings for. It's not really working. I guess for some people they can get feelings over time. I'm not saying I believe in 'love at first sight', but still...

being lonely

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50028397]What is the root cause of the "fall in love with every girl" syndrome?[/QUOTE] Not actually knowing the girl in question

How do I actually meet people? I have places I could go, record shops, museums, galleries and the sort, but then what?

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50028397]What is the root cause of the "fall in love with every girl" syndrome?[/QUOTE] Idealization of all girls + little to no contact with girls throughout life.