Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=PredGD;50084842]I have posted about this in the depression thread but I figure I might as well post it here, tend to get more feedback here. a few days ago a friend sent me a message about how pissed she was at me. we haven't spoken in about what, 2 weeks? we just lost contact. she told me she was mad at me since I was scared of contacting her, and yeah, I actually am. I've told her in the past (which I did repeat this time too) that pretty much everytime I've contacted her in the past I've been rejected so I've just decided to wait for her to contact me. she was also upset that I was hanging out with someone else but not her and was wondering why I was able to contact this other friend but not her. quote from her, "I thought we were pretty close but apparently I was really fucking wrong?" which sounded pretty harsh? I've literally done nothing here, quite literally. she mentioned how she wasn't interested in having friends who "say one thing but do the other and are afraid to contact me". I think she was mostly upset about me reconnecting with my friend who I currently hang out with a fair share since I have told her that I didn't want to reconnect. this was mostly over some thing that really upset me about her but we worked it out which she hasn't gotten up to date about. she finishes the message with "I can't be bothered to have friends who aren't honest with me... Sorry". I feel like she really over dramatizes this. I've been honest all the way, it's just that we haven't really updated each other about our lives since we haven't talked that much. why does she have to jump to conclusions like that? I followed up her message with a positively loaded message, saying I understood her frustration and so on. mentioned how I had contacted her a lot in the past but always gotten no, how things change between people, and how I'd love to meet her but that we need to solve this somehow and talk proper. I mentioned that, if I were to contact her and she'd say no, it'd be great if she actually told me of a day she was vacant so we would actually meet. I finished it all off with how I still viewed her as a good friend and that I'd love to hang out with her sometime, break that ice again. she saw the message, never replied. then a few hours passed (6-7 hours?) and she just wrote a thumbs up and a smiley face. what? she discarded everything I said, didn't even acknowledge any of it. she's apparently upset that we've lost contact but at the same time she doesn't want to solve this and reconnect with me? its hard to fix this if she doesn't cooperate with me. it just frustrates me so much, the way she acts make it seem like she just wants to be mad at me. it's tempting to send her a message asking whats up with her behavior? she's super mad about me never contacting her and us losing contact, I send a very positive, carefully worded and understanding message back with an obvious intention of fixing this and she has nothing to say? I honestly can't wrap my head around this. what do I do? I have a feeling she's just threatening me when she says she "can't have friends" who act like me, maybe not, but I know for sure that I'm legit wondering if I can be bothered with this unnecessary drama that spawns from nowhere? can I really be bothered with someone who overdramatizes shit like this and jumps to conclusions like that?[/QUOTE] Nah mate.. that sorta friend that clings becomes too much to handle, as much as youd like to be there for them or help them you always gotta put yourself first in those kinda situations, otherwise it will become daunting to keep it up

[QUOTE=elasticity;50086598]Nah mate.. that sorta friend that clings becomes too much to handle, as much as youd like to be there for them or help them you always gotta put yourself first in those kinda situations, otherwise it will become daunting to keep it up[/QUOTE] I agree with you a lot, especially now. I decided to send that message asking whats up, if she even wanted to fix this. she replied with that she didn't know. I told her I'd love to talk but she just acts all care back, then she went on about what she mentioned last time. slowly but surely I kinda go down the list and invalidate what she says, and eventually she just ran out of things to say and started blaming that she was "ill and couldn't be arsed with messages like these right now". she handles this awfully. she tells me she can't have people who "bring her down their own problems" when she does this literally every day with the smallest things, like "haven't eaten in 24 hours :)", "depression sux :)" and so on. I tell her thats what friends are for, right? backing each other up in negative times? I also mentioned just how rare I actually talk about my problems which is true, I keep most of that shit to myself except for those rare few times where I do crack. I had to point out just how often I've backed her up and offered my support and indirectly told her that she was an awful friend for not backing her friends up. I think I'm pretty done. I like to stay positive and solve things so I was wondering if I was gonna just say "Take your time to think about this" but figured that'd give her too much control to bitch around with this relation, so I told her she should take her time but that I really needed to consider this entire relation myself since I really can't be bothered with people who are impossible to sit down and talk to to solve the problem at hand. [editline]7th April 2016[/editline] this just sucks. with her gone, I have a single friend. woo? luckily that last friend is also the one who I consider the closest but this sucks a lot still.

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;50084733]My sense of humor basically centers around me acting like an arrogant asshole, even though in reality, I'm a pretty humble, caring person who would never think of intentionally hurting or insulting someone. However, apparently I've made some comments in a group chat with all my friends that a lot of people took seriously and now It seems everyone thinks I have a huge ego and that I always act condescending towards everybody, that I think I'm superior to everyone else, etc. etc. etc. I fucking hate this. I feel like it's really obvious when I'm joking around (because I'm almost always joking around) but apparently I'm so good at keeping a straight face and acting serious when I say outlandish things that people have begun to think that I actually mean them, and a certain few have started acting hostile towards me lately. What the hell do I do? I'm getting bored with them anyways, outside of a couple really close friends I'm sort of drifting apart from them. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, it seems that all they want to do nowadays is smoke weed in lieu of going out and doing something fun and original. I kind of want to make amends, but I also kind of want to start drifting away farther and farther until I cut these toxic people from my life. Next semester could be a fresh start, and I kind of like the sound of that. But I also don't want to overreact and abandon them on a whim.[/QUOTE] On one hand, try being more aware of how you come across and try making it more obvious you're joking.. But at the same time, if someone can't take a joke, they're not someone I'd want to hang out with in the first place. I've been told I come across as serious and aggressive sometimes when I'm obviously kidding, its just something you should be aware of and try to counteract. Once when I went to a sub shop the cashier girl said she really liked my shirt and mentioned she got her son a similar one, so I asked how old her son was. She said he was 9 years old so I laughed and said "oh so that reflects pretty well on my fashion sense as a semi-grown man", and she went into full damage control mode and started apologizing lol. I felt like such an ass :(

So, Facepunch, i need your advice because I'm in a tough situation with the girl I'm currently with and I don't know how to deal with this the best way and it's kinda worrying for me, to be honest. So as you may know I'm in a long distance (300Km) relationship with the girl I've been talking about here recently. We've been together for a month now, taking it really great. Slow, but steady, everything feels natural. There's been a lot of emotional intimacy since the beginning, which is good. So I decided to pay her a visit last weekend from Friday to Sunday. Friday was pretty good, I was received by a friend of mine and his girlfriend and had dinner with them for a while. This friend of mine is also a great friend of my current girl so we arranged to meet after midnight near the city center. My friend told me that I should tell her that she could sleep with me at his place if it was ok with both of us, however, she didn't feel comfortable in staying with me that night, because she had stuff to do in the morning and I said I didn't mind that. Well, the next day she meets me after her morning classes and we spent the whole day together. She's studying music and had a concert later that evening and I went to see her perform. I met her mom and grandmother who were also going to the concert and sat next to them. I liked them a lot so they invited me to dinner. So after that, since we all stayed up till 2 AM I pretty much got invited to sleep at her place or at her grandmother's place. I told her that I'd like to spend the night with her and she agreed on that so we spent the night at her grandmother's place. We pretty much had sex for the first time with one another and it felt really great. We stayed in bed till late that Sunday and talked, cuddled and cooked lunch together. Things got pretty intimate but she seemed very happy to be with me. Well, at the end she drove me to the station and we said our goodbyes. So, now comes the weird part... since Monday, I started noticing a gradual decrease in communication from her side that, due to my past experience with my ex, made me panic a little bit.. probably triggered some similarities in behavior to those of my ex in the end of the relationship. So we were exchanging messages and this is pretty much how it went so far, since I landed home: [QUOTE] [B]Me[/B]: I have just arrived, sweetheart. just grabbing something to eat and I'll call you. (it was really late) [B]Her:[/B] Don't bother, sweetie, I'm going to sleep. Waking up really early tomorrow. [B]Me:[/B] Ok, sorry I didn't call you earlier, I just didn't want to talk in front of my dad. [B]Her:[/B] Of course, I understand, no problem, sorry me :( kisses*** I like you a lot.. [B]______________Next Day - Monday______________________[/B] [B]Me:[/B] Damn I almost forgot I had classes today. This sucks.. [B]Her:[/B] Good Morning, yeah me too.. [B]Me:[/B] How are you today? [B]Her:[/B] I didn't go to my classes... I am really, but really tired. I've been quiet... silent... because I'm still digesting the recent developments... We've been having a lot of psychological intimacy for a long time... but physical intimacy... that's another story... This is all strange to me. [B]Me:[/B] I also skipped class today. But do you feel we rushed things too quickly? I know I want to be with you, but I also don't want to do anything that makes you feel pressured. You know you can tell me anything without any fear of disappointing me. [B] Her:[/B]Given our situation (distance) it's inevitable to rush things a bit. There's a force of curiosity and an urgency in doing so, provoked by the big periods of physical deprivation... for that reason, we can't blame what's happened. There's no opportunity for taking things too slow. It was what it was. We're far, and when we're close we want things to happen. For that reason there's no point in making our condition a problem. Now if it leaves and impact? Yes it does. Even if it doesn't look that way, it's something very intimate that leaves a sensitive climate. [B] Me:[/B] I understand, but... what are you trying to say? [B] Her:[/B] Nothing.. just that. I'm just justifying my silence. [B] Me:[/B] Ok then. I understand. I'm here for you :) [B] Her:[/B] So what are you up to right now? [B] Me:[/B] Working (...) (...) Look I know that I can sometimes look a bit distrustful towards you (it's something she's been noticing in me, I've been a little "stiff" around her. I associate this to past trauma with my abusive ex), I just need a certain amount of safety in order to open up to you... to become a little more me with someone... in order to be able to let go of some traumas. I'm just telling you this because I don't want you to interpret my insecurities, my traumas and my seeking for affection as acts of impatience in this relationship... [B] Her:[/B] Ok... [/QUOTE] After this last message I called her during the night, we talked about us, I told her that I was available to be with her for real, and that I was available to open up more, but since Monday I didn't feel she was available for that. And I wanted to know what was really going on. She told me she didn't know for sure. She was feeling strange after the Weekend. But she couldn't tell me for sure how she really felt about me, and about everything. Things were a bit overwhelming for her as far as I understood. She just needed to think. She told me that I bring her a huge sense of safety, and she feels like I'm a huge part of her life, but as far as she can tell, she still doesn't know what she wants with this as firmly as I do. However she told me that she wanted me to be authentic towards her and told me not to hold back on whatever I felt saying. I told her that I wanted to know what this was, that whenever I was going over to meet her, I wanted to feel that I was doing it for a reason, for purpose. After that... more silence and I started getting really depressed and asked for our mutual friend's advice who told me not to worry. That I was making a bigger fuss about it that it deserved. That I was letting myself getting overwhelmed by my own fears. And honestly he's right, all my past relationships have ended like this. Things work great but they never stick, it all slowly fades away. And it's been something I've been fighting against in every relationship. I wished her a good day yesterday, and hopes that everything was alright. She answered in a great mood and we didn't talk till today. So I started feeling a bit desperate and depressed as shit. I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was history repeating itself and the paranoia of being let down slow again. So I texted her last night at 2 AM (she only answered this afternoon and we chatted a bit): [QUOTE] [B]Me:[/B] I feel like I'm losing you,and I'm afraid... I miss you. [B] Her:(during the afternoon):[/B] I miss talking to you... [B] Me:[/B] ... Talk then. I won't bite... ... much. [B] Her:[/B] Is it just me or all our messages have "..." in them? Are the "..." you biting? Ok... not funny.. I know. I'm sorry. [B] Me:[/B] lol. I just don't know what to think and what to say. I don't understand what these last days have been. [B] Her:[/B] I know, I understand. [B] Me: (at the end of this day):[/B] Whenever you want to talk, I'm here. [B] Her:[/B] :) [/QUOTE] And she didn't say anything else. Now I just don't know what to do.. Wait? I've been remaining calm and our mutual friend says there is no reason to panic and that the "I miss talking to you" was something to hold on to. However, it was nothing concrete. And that's what I've been feeling. That she's being ambiguous. Another friend of mine says I should call her. I'm more inclined in following the first option though and remain calm. In fact I have already shown that I'm available and I feel that I have told her what I felt already. What should I do? Help. I have no idea how to deal with this. (sorry for the long text)

follow up of what I wrote earlier, just saw a status by her on Facebook which has to be directed towards me. "Don't waste energy on people you won't get anything back from. You can say a lot of nice things, but words have little meaning with no action. Take care of the people who really mean something to you, who give something back, and who especially appreciate you for who you are. <3" this just makes me angry. she takes this to Facebook so she can receive likes and caring comments to validate that she was right about this? I know her well enough to know that she'll make me look awful when describing what happened to friends. for so long I've been sat with her with so much insecurity about where I've had her, so much depression since she would send me depressive messages everyday and nothing I did helped since she'd brush it off and show no appreciation for it. I've done so much for this girl, and this is what I get in the end? her ending the friendship and painting me in a bad light because I struggle with taking the initiative? you know, I'm really glad that she's out of my life. I don't intend to take her back in if the opportunity strikes. I've never met a more fake person than her, and this is not my irritation speaking, this is a fact. I feel like an idiot protecting and caring for her while everyone else around me told me what kind of person this actually was. [editline]8th April 2016[/editline] I'm really bitter about this since I've legit given a lot in this relation. the only thing I have had issues with, and always had during our entire friendship, is taking initiative. I don't understand why this suddenly became an issue and I especially don't understand why the result has to be so severe? what a weird person

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;50084733]My sense of humor basically centers around me acting like an arrogant asshole, even though in reality, I'm a pretty humble, caring person who would never think of intentionally hurting or insulting someone. However, apparently I've made some comments in a group chat with all my friends that a lot of people took seriously and now It seems everyone thinks I have a huge ego and that I always act condescending towards everybody, that I think I'm superior to everyone else, etc. etc. etc. I fucking hate this. I feel like it's really obvious when I'm joking around (because I'm almost always joking around) but apparently I'm so good at keeping a straight face and acting serious when I say outlandish things that people have begun to think that I actually mean them, and a certain few have started acting hostile towards me lately. What the hell do I do? I'm getting bored with them anyways, outside of a couple really close friends I'm sort of drifting apart from them. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, it seems that all they want to do nowadays is smoke weed in lieu of going out and doing something fun and original. I kind of want to make amends, but I also kind of want to start drifting away farther and farther until I cut these toxic people from my life. Next semester could be a fresh start, and I kind of like the sound of that. But I also don't want to overreact and abandon them on a whim.[/QUOTE] Yeah so I think I'm just reading too much into this Went to a party with all my friends and everything was cool, could tell everyone genuinely liked me to some degree and all the hostility was gone I think that I have a tendency to assume the worst when it comes to what others think of me. Gotta work on that

I've got an upcoming social event with a friend that's making me a little anxious. For a little background, this is a girl with a huge social life. I've gone out with her in the city and stuff before, and pretty much EVERY time, we end up running into at least one person or group of people that she knows. And it always makes me slightly uncomfortable because I don't know what to do with myself when this happens. Don't know if I need to step up and introduce myself, or if she even wants to introduce me, or if I should just try to stay out of it and let her catch up with this other friend, or what. She told me the other day that multiple people have told her it's kind of "a problem" that she runs into so many people she knows when she's out, and she asked me if I feel the same way. And I told her the truth, that the fact she knows all these people isn't the problem, just that I would like to be introduced or otherwise know what to do, because otherwise I feel like she's just kind of left me hanging. Well, this Saturday she invited me to a little film festival that's screening a movie she appeared in. But she gave me this weird warning about it tonight along the lines of "I'm not un-inviting you or anything, but these are all going to be my film festival friends, and I'm not going to have all the time in the world to talk specifically with you, so don't get upset if you start feeling left out." It kinda felt like a passive-aggressive un-invitation, the exact thing she said it's not. But I'm wondering if I could get some advice on how to handle this kind of situation. How do I spin this into a not-awkward situation when she's going to be the only friend I know, and I don't know any of her other friends? How can I be a part of the conversation if all they talk about is prior mutual experiences? Because that's one of my least-favorite situations. I feel like I'd be an asshole to butt in or change the subject, and I just kinda withdraw and say nothing. I don't know how to "infiltrate" a group conversation like that without being some kinda obnoxious/awkward asshole. But I really want to learn how to feel more comfortable in situations like this.

Update on sex friend: after losing his virginity on Monday and proudly announcing it to everyone, then being told that we don't want to hear about his sex life, he basically came in to our chat yesterday and announced he'd had sex at least 3 times this week. Is it wierd to be so creeped out by the thought a friend having sex [b]every fucking day[/b] so much that even the slightest thing reminds you of them?

people fuck don't think about your friend fucking

[QUOTE=meharryp;50092358]Update on sex friend: after losing his virginity on Monday and proudly announcing it to everyone, then being told that we don't want to hear about his sex life, he basically came in to our chat yesterday and announced he'd had sex at least 3 times this week. Is it wierd to be so creeped out by the thought a friend having sex [b]every fucking day[/b] so much that even the slightest thing reminds you of them?[/QUOTE] tbh it's pretty harsh to belittle his sense of achievement towards it, even though no one really wants to hear about anyone else's sex life all the time, especially when they go into detail, losing his virginity is bound to be a big deal to him, and you guys telling him you don't want to hear about his 'sex life' literally after the FIRST TIME he's had sex is the really bizarre part, i'm sorry but what the actual fuck... it's not weird to be a little iffy out about the thought, especially if you're picturing it in detail, but it's weird to be making such a big deal about it. It's just sex dude, and he's proud of himself, roll with it, eventually he'll get more accustomed to it and it'll pass, in the mean time, stop thinking about it as if it's such a big deal

She texted me today.. shared a dream where I was in. Felt it was important to share with me. Conversation didn't go any further than that... Edit: So she just started talking to me like nothing weird has ever happened. I'm so confused but l'm playing along. Whenever she feels ready to talk about us I'm here I guess.

-snip-

i still don't really know how to make new friends and i have no opportunities to anyone have any advice? [editline]8th April 2016[/editline] i'm just tired of being bored and sitting on my ass all day [editline]8th April 2016[/editline] also pretty sure that girl from april fools isn't really my friend anymore :v: i have terrible luck with women

[QUOTE=NixNax123;50096035]i still don't really know how to make new friends and i have no opportunities to anyone have any advice? [editline]8th April 2016[/editline] i'm just tired of being bored and sitting on my ass all day [editline]8th April 2016[/editline] also pretty sure that girl from april fools isn't really my friend anymore :v: i have terrible luck with women[/QUOTE] Just adopt a policy of going to everything you have time for. I was in a similar situation and just started going to random house shows and campus events and now I'm back on the social wagon. Keep in mind that mundane and uninteresting venues and events can still lead to unexpected social encounters, which is why you should be open to pretty much anything.

[QUOTE=srobins;50096527]Just adopt a policy of going to everything you have time for. I was in a similar situation and just started going to random house shows and campus events and now I'm back on the social wagon. Keep in mind that mundane and uninteresting venues and events can still lead to unexpected social encounters, which is why you should be open to pretty much anything.[/QUOTE] how do i find these events?

[QUOTE=NixNax123;50096550]how do i find these events?[/QUOTE] Hit up old friends on Facebook and see if anyone wants to meet up and do something (as in, come up with something to do, don't just message people "hey anything going on tonight?" out of the blue lol), if you're in school your school likely has tons of clubs and campus events you can check out, and I'm pretty sure Facebook has a search function to see local public events that you could go to. I don't know what your friend circle is like, but I'm friends with a few artsy girls that invite virtually everyone to house shows and little events constantly, so I ended up dragging myself out of the house a month ago and went to one and now I'm seeing someone and meeting a bunch of new people through them. Just get out of the house at all costs and you will inevitably meet people and start being more social. Take it from me, a former high-school dropout social pariah mongoloid.. There's still hope! lol

thank you. i don't really use facebook that often anymore. i've actually stayed off it and all other social media except snapchat for a good 2 months now. too much stuff on there that gets me down. but i'll try to get out of my dorm more often. see what's going on etc. i'm glad you're doing well :smile:

So I just broke the ice with her and told her that we needed to talk and I didn't want to let the situation drag any further. We spent the whole night talking on the phone. Turns out she was starting to feel unsure about me because on one hand she felt I was going too fast with stuff and on the other hand she was afraid to be honest with me. It almost got to the point where she started considering breaking up because she was aware of the emotional limbo we both were in. I told her that I didn't want that. I wanted to try and we finally spilled the beans about what was bothering us. Shit none of us had any awareness of came up and everything started to make sense all of a sudden. I am so impulsive and the relationship is so fresh , that we didn't have the courage for honesty at the time. We're far. And when we're together there's such a thrill in making things happen and making the other happy and not disapointed that some natural boundaties got trespassed in the way. And that was the main reason for the anxiety, the misplaced assumptions and the weird climate between the two. We're ok now. Nothing remained unsaid. Talking fixed a lot of things that were bothering us.

I made a friend on the plane I was on today by just mentioning that I was being nosy and saw that his phone background was Fallout. He was like 35 and was kind of a huge dork!! But he was also really polite and made for a fun guy to talk to on the two hour flight. It was v nice. Not hard to find a common ground and talk about it. Just can't be weird about it.

I go rock climbing almost every day and end up making new friends almost every time I'm there. Everyone is always happy to help each other out - a lot of the time I'll end up working with someone else at the same level I am to try to figure out how to complete a route. One of my friends who I climb with every week now was just some dude who sat down next to me - I said "how's it going?" and we ended up talking/climbing together the rest of the time we were there.

I'm getting coffee (as friends) with this girl tomorrow but im not sure if I should say "hey, are we still on for tomorrow" or anything. We've had this set up for like a week now

[QUOTE=bdd458;50100880]I'm getting coffee (as friends) with this girl tomorrow but im not sure if I should say "hey, are we still on for tomorrow" or anything. We've had this set up for like a week now[/QUOTE] I would. Definitely doesn't hurt to check and make sure nothing has come up beforehand.

Aight, thanks. I won't hear back until later since she did say she was going to be busy today, which is why we decided on tomorrow. That's just been kinda bugging me since yesterday.

Mixed signals are the worst. I'm meeting a girl for coffee this Tuesday, we've been talking about doing it for a couple weeks now and every time I mention it she seems super eager. I was at her house with some friends last night and when we were all leaving I asked her if she was still on and she didn't even let me finish my sentence, she was so excited to say yes. There are times like that where it really seems like she's interested in me, then other times where I'm just not so sure. Guess we'll find out Tuesday.

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;50101104]Mixed signals are the worst. I'm meeting a girl for coffee this Tuesday, we've been talking about doing it for a couple weeks now and every time I mention it she seems super eager. I was at her house with some friends last night and when we were all leaving I asked her if she was still on and she didn't even let me finish my sentence, she was so excited to say yes. There are times like that where it really seems like she's interested in me, then other times where I'm just not so sure. Guess we'll find out Tuesday.[/QUOTE] What is indicating to you that she's [I]not[/I] interested? Sounds like she's excited to see you and you're just massively overthinking any lapse in communication.

[QUOTE=srobins;50102477]What is indicating to you that she's [I]not[/I] interested? Sounds like she's excited to see you and you're just massively overthinking any lapse in communication.[/QUOTE] I dunno, when we were hanging in a group of friends she seemed more interested in them a good amount of the time... although now that I think about it it was because one was a transfer student who's leaving very soon... I'm an idiot. There are a lot of good signs but it's so typical of me to latch on to and freak out over any bad signs, even if they're really just lukewarm. I have nothing to lose, so I really shouldn't be worried about this at all. If I'm wrong, I'll have someone new to date, if I'm right, then who cares? I actually have a good amount of prospects right now. So I'm really doing fine. I'm actually decently happy right now regarding my place in the dating world, so maybe I should just forget everything else and have fun. I really need to work on cutting out the bullshit and enjoying what I have in my life.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50102768]It sounds like youre sad that you werent her center of attention[/QUOTE] Haha yeah, I have a real problem with that too. I've realized lately that I'm a person who just constantly seeks validation. I guess what I want most in life is for people to respect me and to like me. I don't really mind about anything else, just that I'm accepted.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;50092090]I've got an upcoming social event with a friend that's making me a little anxious. For a little background, this is a girl with a huge social life. I've gone out with her in the city and stuff before, and pretty much EVERY time, we end up running into at least one person or group of people that she knows. And it always makes me slightly uncomfortable because I don't know what to do with myself when this happens. Don't know if I need to step up and introduce myself, or if she even wants to introduce me, or if I should just try to stay out of it and let her catch up with this other friend, or what. She told me the other day that multiple people have told her it's kind of "a problem" that she runs into so many people she knows when she's out, and she asked me if I feel the same way. And I told her the truth, that the fact she knows all these people isn't the problem, just that I would like to be introduced or otherwise know what to do, because otherwise I feel like she's just kind of left me hanging. Well, this Saturday she invited me to a little film festival that's screening a movie she appeared in. But she gave me this weird warning about it tonight along the lines of "I'm not un-inviting you or anything, but these are all going to be my film festival friends, and I'm not going to have all the time in the world to talk specifically with you, so don't get upset if you start feeling left out." It kinda felt like a passive-aggressive un-invitation, the exact thing she said it's not. But I'm wondering if I could get some advice on how to handle this kind of situation. How do I spin this into a not-awkward situation when she's going to be the only friend I know, and I don't know any of her other friends? How can I be a part of the conversation if all they talk about is prior mutual experiences? Because that's one of my least-favorite situations. I feel like I'd be an asshole to butt in or change the subject, and I just kinda withdraw and say nothing. I don't know how to "infiltrate" a group conversation like that without being some kinda obnoxious/awkward asshole. But I really want to learn how to feel more comfortable in situations like this.[/QUOTE] Well this turned out to go just fine for me. It actually turned out to be a great day. I watched the film festival screening with her and just one of her friends, and there was just some brief meet & greet/photoshoot stuff after. The three of us got lunch and strolled around for a while, then the other friend left and just the two of us went to a festival in the city. Came back to the theater for the awards ceremony and everything was great. But man, even after I told her what a great time I had, and how she got all scared over nothing, and that I was so much more optimistic about it than she was, she never even took any of it back, just kinda said "Yep, I thought it was gonna be a disaster," almost gravely. Like she was SO convinced I was going to turn her day into a massive bummer today.

important note: don't shave or pluck hairs out of your actual penis they might get totally ingrown and gross and there is nothing less sexy than squeezing pus out of a lump on your dick

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;50102950]Haha yeah, I have a real problem with that too. I've realized lately that I'm a person who just constantly seeks validation. I guess what I want most in life is for people to respect me and to like me. I don't really mind about anything else, just that I'm accepted.[/QUOTE] Getting accepted assuming a purpose, might be less distressing than having validation as purpose itself. As an entertaining facade eventually falls, when the clown behind it can no longer smile.