Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;50131059]case in point[/QUOTE] exactly, i have no idea what you're talking about

[QUOTE=Giraffen93;50131066]exactly, i have no idea what you're talking about[/QUOTE] ask the friggin therapist that's what i'm talking about

[QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;50129036]I have a problem with the way I switch my behavior when I'm around certain people. I feel the most comfortable and confident when I'm among friends who like me the way I am and there's a moment when I'm trying to meet someone or when I don't trust someone enough, instead of being myself I, unconsciously draw people away or worry too much about what they will think about me. The problem starts when I'm with someone and I feel like "What if I mention this and they think I'm weird/crazy/creepy?", "What if they turn me into a target for jokes?" "What if they are all dicks?" and then I get caught in these thoughts and I end up going silent and avoid interaction.[/QUOTE] I feel the same way. It's almost like people who don't know me in a way have to earn my trust. I wouldn't necessarily say that's a bad thing. You're just tying to protect yourself.

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;50131087]ask the friggin therapist that's what i'm talking about[/QUOTE] i was just there though, my next appointment is in two weeks most things do have a solid reason though, as in i don't want v-neck shirts because i don't like how they look, or no slim jeans because i don't like how they feel/look i think those are some pretty simple taste preferences, and why would i want to say yes to them if i don't like them?

[QUOTE=Giraffen93;50131096]i was just there though, my next appointment is in two weeks most things do have a solid reason though, as in i don't want v-neck shirts because i don't like how they look, or no slim jeans because i don't like how they feel/look i think those are some pretty simple taste preferences, and why would i want to say yes to them if i don't like them?[/QUOTE] no one's telling you you have to like them dude at least not here anyway

[QUOTE=elasticity;50131121]no one's telling you you have to like them dude at least not here, i'd agree that v-necks and skinny jeans are pretty eh[/QUOTE] i really do feel like giving up trying to explain, people here just don't understand even with the amount of repetition i spew out wish there was a more understanding community out there, but it's damn difficult to find

[QUOTE=Giraffen93;50131135]i really do feel like giving up trying to explain, people here just don't understand even with the amount of repetition i spew out[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Zukriuchen;50124276]the feeling is mutual[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;50131151][/QUOTE] i would probably benefit from an interpreter that can understand my way of thinking, to write all my online stuff, because every question i ask people get mad, and i have no idea why. and you guys think i'm doing it for the attention, ppffft fuck that i don't give a shit

[QUOTE=Giraffen93;50131179]i would probably benefit from an interpreter that can understand my way of thinking, to write all my online stuff, because every question i ask people get mad, and i have no idea why. and you guys think i'm doing it for the attention, ppffft fuck that i don't give a shit[/QUOTE] I'd just stop talking. Your posts rate dumber by the second. Keep those things to yourself.

[QUOTE=Ch!ef;50131209]I'd just stop talking. Your posts rate dumber by the second. Keep those things to yourself.[/QUOTE] yeah i guess some people just aren't fit to speak freely

then here's a fun little exercise. completely up to you: don't post about it for the next 24 hours we both agree this isn't getting anywhere, and you've just admitted to not caring about the attention. clearly, not perpetuating this discussion should be just about the easiest thing in the world for you (unless of course this is complete BS and you really do want to keep talking about yourself)

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;50131222]then here's a fun little exercise. completely up to you: don't post about it for the next 24 hours we both agree this isn't getting anywhere, and you've just admitted to not caring about the attention. clearly, not perpetuating this discussion should be just about the easiest thing in the world for you (unless of course this is complete BS and you really do want to keep talking about yourself)[/QUOTE] sure, but when people keep replying it's hard i just want to try to sort it out (but i've realized it's impossible), it's not about the attention, i just want to fix my retard brain

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;50131222]not perpetuating this discussion should be just about the easiest thing in the world for you[/QUOTE] by odins beard, proven wrong in less than 30 seconds

[QUOTE=Giraffen93;50131227] i just want to fix my retard brain[/QUOTE] This isnt the place for that...

I have an issue with self-esteem. Most of the time I think about myself in the negative light. That negativity is either based on what i did wrong previously/today, or completely exaggerated version of "you've dun goffed!". Anyone has an advice with low self-esteem?

[QUOTE=prop_physic;50131914]I have an issue with self-esteem. Most of the time I think about myself in the negative light. That negativity is either based on what i did wrong previously/today, or completely exaggerated version of "you've dun goffed!". Anyone has an advice with low self-esteem?[/QUOTE] I just tell myself you tried your best and that's all you need to do.

Is it really weird for someone to smile in public randomly? I don't mean it as "I'm gonna smile at everyone and put a huge ass grin", I just say, is it weird if I just put up a subtle smile as I'm going about my day without any specific reason?

Is it over yet?

[QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;50132637]Is it really weird for someone to smile in public randomly? I don't mean it as "I'm gonna smile at everyone and put a huge ass grin", I just say, is it weird if I just put up a subtle smile as I'm going about my day without any specific reason?[/QUOTE] Smiling is always good. Except for furnerals of course.

[QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;50132637]Is it really weird for someone to smile in public randomly? I don't mean it as "I'm gonna smile at everyone and put a huge ass grin", I just say, is it weird if I just put up a subtle smile as I'm going about my day without any specific reason?[/QUOTE] Kind of depends on the culture you live in. For example Czechs would probably consider you mentally unstable, because nobody ever smiles on the street over here.

Where I live people rarely smile at strangers (might just be me though), but when some stranger smiles at me I always smile back and it makes my day sometimes.

-snip-

I don't know if I should post this here or the depression thread. Does anyone else feel hostile towards people they don't know when they go to pubs and things or is just me? I have this feeling like I really hate the people I don't know especially the loud people who just start talking to you. When someone I don't know asked for a lighter, my thoughts are "I wish this bogan piece of shit would fuck off" but I never say that. I know I'm supposed to be normal and adapt to stuff I'm not prepared for, be mellow and let the situation pan out , but everyone just seems intimidating to the point that I get mad at anyone who looks at me. I think it's something to do with anxiety, how do you guys just relax in these situations and not get in a bad mood.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50137791]I don't know if I should post this here or the depression thread. Does anyone else feel hostile towards people they don't know when they go to pubs and things or is just me? I have this feeling like I really hate the people I don't know especially the loud people who just start talking to you. When someone I don't know asked for a lighter, my thoughts are "I wish this bogan piece of shit would fuck off" but I never say that. I know I'm supposed to be normal and adapt to stuff I'm not prepared for, be mellow and let the situation pan out , but everyone just seems intimidating to the point that I get mad at anyone who looks at me. I think it's something to do with anxiety, how do you guys just relax in these situations and not get in a bad mood.[/QUOTE] Being angry at everyone sounds weird but we all got different ways to deal with stress I guess. I'm of the mindset that everyone in the pub is my friend until they've proven me wrong. Actually I'm of the mindset that everyone in the world is my friend until they've proven me wrong, I just kept telling it to myself and now I feel it and can relax more. Try it, it feels stupid in the beginning but it worked.

-snip-

In a few minutes, I'm going to drive over and pick up my date. We're going to a local Thai place. Wish me luck y'all!

I think I've started flirting with this girl ive been chatting with This might go places???

I'm dating this girl and she's way more into me than vice versa it feels [i]really[/i] nice to have someone actually give a shit about you, though. I'm just worried that I might be using her as an emotional crutch. it's been pretty enlightening, vis a vis the girls that I've been really into who didn't feel the same way. I'm still gonna see if it goes anywhere though. might just be dating fatigue.

[QUOTE=Dorkslayz;50139496]Sorry for the long/drawn out post, i'm just looking for some advice/opinions if that's aight.[/QUOTE] Go meet more women and the feelings will come and go. It's never a guarantee even the most promising things can 180. The good news is eventually you'll find someone it works with.

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;50139508]In a few minutes, I'm going to drive over and pick up my date. We're going to a local Thai place. Wish me luck y'all![/QUOTE] Welp So the date was awesome. Restaurant was awesome, conversation was great, we got along so well it wasn't even funny. We go back to her place, we're out on the patio talking, and I pulled what was a pretty smooth move in hindsight, we end up kissing a bit. But then she told me that she had just broken up with her boyfriend of [B]five years[/B] this past January, and although she really liked me she wasn't over him, also she graduates in a year and she plans to live abroad and teach english indefinitely so she doesn't really want to get in a relationship right now. I'm glad that I went, and I'm glad that she took me up on the offer even though she was fairly certain it wouldn't turn into a relationship. She didn't want to turn me down because she thinks I'm a great guy and she's very attracted to me, she's glad that she went too. Not going to pretend I'm not upset, but I respect her decision. We talked for hours on her back patio even after she told me she wasn't going to date me, I think we're going to end up being really good friends. But damn, I never realized how into this girl I was until now. We're so alike, she's so cute, we share so many common interests and we can talk to each other for hours.I was so certain that she was into me (and I was right, I guess) and I was so certain that this would turn into something and now I'm kind of left feeling like a jackass... But hey. It's life, I can't lose. If I would've ended up with her, I'm sure things would've gone great, but now I'm free to enjoy being single for a little while longer.