Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[img]http://rp.braxnet.org/scr/146081535126439.png[/img] i'll just stick to this users advice, and stop posting questions forever on any social media site since it's just the same repeating harassments over and over again bye bye

[QUOTE=Giraffen93;50142499][img]http://rp.braxnet.org/scr/146081535126439.png[/img] i'll just stick to this users advice, and stop posting questions forever on any social media site since it's just the same repeating harassments over and over again bye bye[/QUOTE] *does something wrong* *everyone explains why it is wrong* *gets upset and leaves* But whatever, best of luck. Just don't face life with the same attitude you had here

So last week I met some guy who I got along with decently enough, we wandered around the mall and were exploring the back hallways and then he pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me. And didn't seem to notice the fact that I was trying to push him away. Not a great experience for a sexual assault victim. Then I exchanged over 600 texts throughout the week with this dude from OKC, we were up until 4am talking one night... We were getting along really well and talked about grabbing coffee on Friday. He hasn't texted me since Wednesday night and never responded about setting up a time/place to meet. It's getting increasingly difficult to convince myself to meet new people.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50143870][B]So last week I met some guy who I got along with decently enough, we wandered around the mall and were exploring the back hallways and then he pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me. And didn't seem to notice the fact that I was trying to push him away. Not a great experience for a sexual assault victim.[/B] Then I exchanged over 600 texts throughout the week with this dude from OKC, we were up until 4am talking one night... We were getting along really well and talked about grabbing coffee on Friday. He hasn't texted me since Wednesday night and never responded about setting up a time/place to meet. It's getting increasingly difficult to convince myself to meet new people.[/QUOTE] What the [I]fuck[/I]. You alright? You ought to call the cops on his ass.

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;50144013]What the [I]fuck[/I]. You alright? You ought to call the cops on his ass.[/QUOTE] In context it wasn't as bad as it sounds, we were flirting a lot and had been holding hands a few minutes earlier. I had certainly been interested in him up until that point, but when he did it I just felt really trapped and wanted to get out.

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;50144013]What the [I]fuck[/I]. You alright? You ought to call the cops on his ass.[/QUOTE] why?? different people have massively different levels of comfort with these things and sometimes people critically misread situations because they're idiots. I guess you should go to jail for that though

[QUOTE=Giraffen93;50142499][img]http://rp.braxnet.org/scr/146081535126439.png[/img] i'll just stick to this users advice, and stop posting questions forever on any social media site since it's just the same repeating harassments over and over again bye bye[/QUOTE] Lol you are so delusional

[QUOTE=Dorkslayz;50139496]Alright lads, so normally I'd consider myself quite an emotionally stable person but this shit has fucked me up and i'm looking for some opinions/advice/whatever. Bit of background info on my friendship group: I knew a few people in the group before I really became part of it, but still didn't really know everyone when I "joined", anyway everyone's gone off to Uni now so we don't see each other very often anymore (except a few of us that haven't gone off to Uni yet). There was a girl in our group that I didn't really know too well, only seen her a few times with everyone else. First time I spoke to her actually was back at Christmas when we were both drunk off our faces at the pub and it seems weird but we just sort of clicked although didn't really realise it at the time. Anyway, didn't see her again after that until a couple of weeks ago at the pub, she was sat next to me so we chatted/caught up etc and there was quite a lot of heavy flirting going on the whole night, walked her home after and we said our goodbyes/etc. We'd never really texted previously but got a text on the way home along the lines of "get home safe x" and I took this as a sign she was interested. Fast forward to the next day, we were all supposed to go around a friends house for a game day sort of thing but their house wasn't free after all so she offers up her house, I ask if it's alright for me to come around a bit earlier and it is so we chill for a bit and watch shit on Netflix before everyone else comes around. Later that evening we go to another friends for a small gathering and everyone gets smashed, her friend texts me telling me she's interested (with screenshots showing that) and to go speak to her upstairs anyway tldr me and this girl end up sharing a bed together although we didn't end up really doing anything. Next morning I leave to go do some shit and we're still texting quite a lot so I ask if I can come around in a bit, again we chill for a bit and watch some stuff on Netflix before our other friends come around. At this point, i'm 99% sure she likes me and i'm getting this from our friends too so i'm sure it's a solid bet, ask her if I can take her out on a date to which she agrees so I planned this absolutely amazing date and it was gonna be solid. 2 days before it's supposed to happen we all go out clubbing and I don't see her for most of the night, w/e not an issue, text her the next morning asking if everything was alright and she tells me she doesn't think she feels the same way about me and explains that she has problems with long-term commitment etc and it wouldn't work so it's best to just stop it now - but that I didn't do anything wrong and it wasn't me. It's been just over a week now and i'm still not over it, even though in reality I barely knew her. I've never really felt like this about anyone else and it's not even the fact it won't happen that's upsetting me, it's the fact I could almost guarantee it was gonna happen, like something perfect being dangled in front of you and you're sure you're gonna get it but then it just slips away. Sorry for the long/drawn out post, i'm just looking for some advice/opinions if that's aight.[/QUOTE] I know that feeling well too much, mate. I took it hard and ended up shutting myself socially for a week. My friends were freaked out and thought i commited suicide (lol) so i knew i overreacted. Ended up being just friends with this girl, nothing more. If thats your first time being rejected then dont worry, the next time will be easier to take (believe me there WILL be future rejections) just make sure to take it smoothly and most importantly, show her that it doesnt affect you at all. Even if it does affect you, girls like guys who can take a "no". So here's my advice for now: to overcome the effects of rejection at this moment, best thing to do is bury yourself at work and/or do things you like (like playing video games or watching a good TV show) My advice for future rejections: take it smooth and easy. Tell her you're glad she's straight with you and that you respect her decision. Best thing to do is to NOT cut ties with her and continue to talk to her normally as friends. You can also tell her that you'll be happy if she will find another guy, just like if she would be happy when you find yourself another girl. Afterwards you can tell her that you value your friendship with her and dont want to fuck it up because of that rejection. Afterwards just continue your friendship with her while chasing after other girls. She will know that you are available to her and might change her mind in the future. tld;r: dont sperg out on rejections. Take it smooth and easy.

... Welp, between always being up for a coffee after class that ends up lasting for over an hour, asking me to go to meet ups she is going (and to pick her up in the way there), being quite forwards in sharing an umbrella (and going for physical contact on the process), and quite frequent hair playing, as well as her emphasis on saying she currently doesn't have a boyfriend, and knowing I'm close to her type, I may be led to believe this girl could be into me. Fuck, I'm always worried about being too optimistic when I'm into somebody.

[QUOTE=Eriorguez;50146020]... Welp, between always being up for a coffee after class that ends up lasting for over an hour, asking me to go to meet ups she is going (and to pick her up in the way there), being quite forwards in sharing an umbrella (and going for physical contact on the process), and quite frequent hair playing, as well as her emphasis on saying she currently doesn't have a boyfriend, and knowing I'm close to her type, I may be led to believe this girl could be into me. Fuck, I'm always worried about being too optimistic when I'm into somebody.[/QUOTE] I may be the last person to listen to in these kind of situations, but i learned myself that there's a very thin line between "she's into you" and "she's just being nice" Unless she makes clear signs like saying "kiss me" n shit

[QUOTE=RzDat;50146067]I may be the last person to listen to in these kind of situations, but i learned myself that there's a very thin line between "she's into you" and "she's just being nice" Unless she makes clear signs like saying "kiss me" n shit[/QUOTE] Yeah but I mean, inviting him out to events, making physical contact, playing with her hair and emphasizing that she's single (assuming all of what he said is true and not embellished or misinterpreted) seems pretty obvious. It's good to avoid getting ahead of yourself and assuming any slight kindness means she wants to get with you, but at the same time I think it's way more damaging to be overly cynical and not pick up on subtle stuff. If you're sitting around waiting for a 100% sure-fire sign of interest, you'll probably miss out on 90% of the experiences you could be having. At some point you have to kinda go for it, worst case scenario she'll say no. Better than missing out and kicking yourself when its too late. [editline]17th April 2016[/editline] Like, once again not pretending I'm the most experienced person around here but.. I don't think most chicks you take out are going to literally say "kiss me" lol, it's going to be subtle and they're going to just hope you pick up on the hints most of the time.

[QUOTE=Giraffen93;50142499][img]http://rp.braxnet.org/scr/146081535126439.png[/img] i'll just stick to this users advice, and stop posting questions forever on any social media site since it's just the same repeating harassments over and over again bye bye[/QUOTE] "harassments"

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50143870]So last week I met some guy who I got along with decently enough, we wandered around the mall and were exploring the back hallways and then he pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me. And didn't seem to notice the fact that I was trying to push him away. Not a great experience for a sexual assault victim. Then I exchanged over 600 texts throughout the week with this dude from OKC, we were up until 4am talking one night... We were getting along really well and talked about grabbing coffee on Friday. He hasn't texted me since Wednesday night and never responded about setting up a time/place to meet. It's getting increasingly difficult to convince myself to meet new people.[/QUOTE] This is straight outta /r/theredpill tactic what the fuck There's gotta be a post out there how he made himself seen emotionaly distant via radio silence and people applauding this shit

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50143870] Then I exchanged over 600 texts throughout the week with this dude from OKC, we were up until 4am talking one night... We were getting along really well and talked about grabbing coffee on Friday. He hasn't texted me since Wednesday night and never responded about setting up a time/place to meet. It's getting increasingly difficult to convince myself to meet new people.[/QUOTE] Maybe you're getting yourself stuck in the dating website thing and getting the same results. I know I'm a man and all and the dating scene is different from man to woman but, I've been on Tinder for a while and I got tired of that, because I was getting the same type of women every time and was started to doubt my ability to meet new people that would care for me. The thing about dating websites is that it gives people a lot of option. It's easy for people to connect with someone at a really deep level, and that's fun and deep and all but if someone "better" comes along, you're out of the game. It's a sick universe and a free market of feelings, love and relationships that suck you in to the point where many people find themselves adding useless things to their life so that they become more attractive. (not saying it's your case, just saying my general opinion). Sure OKCupid has a better environment but it lacks the humanity and the thrill of meeting someone face to face. That's why when it comes to websites I only go as far facebook, because it's more personal, not a dating site, and I get a better chance at genuinely meeting someone without that pre-knowledge and pressure of an implied date. Actually I met my current girlfriend through facebook, and mutual friends and we immediately stepped right into texting and phone calls. I actually had this conversation with her - "What does it take to meet the right people for you". I personally believe that when you do what you like you'll make friends and friends lead to other friends and all that leads to potentially happy and healthy relationships. Dating sites might give the illusion they're an open door to a huge world of single and available people for you.. except they are not. They're a narrow view with a distorted paradigm of what value and desirability represents in someone. No one gets to really know someone through a profile, it takes much more than that.

What's a nice way to tell a guy that you don't want to hang out with him but not because of him?? I've been in a pretty severe depressive episode since coming back to the severe damage to my car and the fact that I have to give my pet turtle up to pay for it and I literally don't think I'll be any fun to be around. But I don't want him to think I don't want to hang out with him specifically.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50149910]The thing about dating websites is that it gives people a lot of option. It's easy for people to connect with someone at a really deep level, and that's fun and deep and all but if someone "better" comes along, you're out of the game.[/QUOTE] I agree, it's definitely a cultural thing there. It's just shitty that the cultural norm on dating sites is to suddenly start ignoring people if you realize you don't want a relationship with them. I don't exclusively use dating sites - I talk to plenty of people in person as well - but I haven't really met anyone in person yet who I'm attracted to who's also attracted to me.

It's really upsetting for me reading this thread, I don't think I'll ever get a relationship to work. Gonna stop comin' back, sorry for bothering you guys.

Im gonna write this here because I'm bored in a lazy rainy sunday and apparently things aren't going well with this girl I met so why not. I met this girl on Tinder a couple of weeks ago. Really gorgeous girl I didn't even believe I was meeting her when I saw her outside. We went for a beer and got a good conversation going, it felt like it was one of my best dating experiences so far. We were outside making out and then she had to go meet a friend for dinner, but we met up again in a club at night although she didn't come over so she stayed partying and I went home in the morning. After that we kept texting every now and then and we tried meeting up, but she got sick for the first week and every time I try to get something going she agrees to it but ends up flaking, replying that she has to work till 9:30pm and is just tired after that. This has been going on for a while, and she didnt even make it to a circus date with some of my other friends. Now I'm just about to give up. If it wasn't for the fact that we got along really well in the beginning I could have given up earlier. I just dont feel like asking her all the time and of course that would be stupid, maybe I'll just let her text me whenever

[QUOTE=TheCactusman;50150325]It's really upsetting for me reading this thread, I don't think I'll ever get a relationship to work. Gonna stop comin' back, sorry for bothering you guys.[/QUOTE] Don't worry about it, I used to think the same a couple of months ago. You'll find someone sooner or later.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50150244]What's a nice way to tell a guy that you don't want to hang out with him but not because of him?? I've been in a pretty severe depressive episode since coming back to the severe damage to my car and the fact that I have to give my pet turtle up to pay for it and I literally don't think I'll be any fun to be around. But I don't want him to think I don't want to hang out with him specifically.[/QUOTE] Just tell him that, basically. If a girl texted me and said "that sounds fun but honestly I'm just having a terrible week right now, I'd rather wait until I feel better" I'd understand immediately.

[QUOTE=TheCactusman;50150325]It's really upsetting for me reading this thread, I don't think I'll ever get a relationship to work. Gonna stop comin' back, sorry for bothering you guys.[/QUOTE] Relationships aren't easy, and yeah while I've never been in a romantic relationship myself, I know you can't let the times where it feels hopeless get to you too badly. I mean like a week ago I got stood up for coffee as friends with this one girl. But, even though it stung like a bitch and I felt really lonely and like I'd never have a relationship. As a result, I ended up installing a few dating/chat apps (even though in the past ive been completely frustrated with them having no luck). I ended up starting to talk to this other girl who I'm fairly certain is into me (like we've been texting and flirting all weekend). You never know what's going to happen or who you'll meet. Keep your chin up (and put a bit of effort in) and you will find someone.

[QUOTE=D3TBS;50150393]Im gonna write this here because I'm bored in a lazy rainy sunday and apparently things aren't going well with this girl I met so why not. I met this girl on Tinder a couple of weeks ago. Really gorgeous girl I didn't even believe I was meeting her when I saw her outside. We went for a beer and got a good conversation going, it felt like it was one of my best dating experiences so far. We were outside making out and then she had to go meet a friend for dinner, but we met up again in a club at night although she didn't come over so she stayed partying and I went home in the morning. After that we kept texting every now and then and we tried meeting up, but she got sick for the first week and every time I try to get something going she agrees to it but ends up flaking, replying that she has to work till 9:30pm and is just tired after that. This has been going on for a while, and she didnt even make it to a circus date with some of my other friends. Now I'm just about to give up. If it wasn't for the fact that we got along really well in the beginning I could have given up earlier. I just dont feel like asking her all the time and of course that would be stupid, maybe I'll just let her text me whenever[/QUOTE] Probably lost interest, I think you're right to just let it be. If someone is interested they'll move mountains to come hang out with you. "I'm tired after work" just seems like a really wimpy excuse to cancel.

[QUOTE=srobins;50150894] If someone is interested they'll move mountains to come hang out with you.[/QUOTE] Can confirm.

yeah well on one side I can understand her being tired. I work until 6 and after that I only feel like going to sleep and doing nothing, can't even imagine how it is to get out around 9:30 and see the whole day go by like that. But on the other hand it sounds like she doesnt want to hang out. Like saturday she apologized for having to reschedule all the time and that she would write me on sunday, then today she just wrote me thst she was chilling at home the whole time so that's a definitive no for me. i just told her if she still wants anything that she would have to reschedule. What a shame. Just when I thought I found a really hot girl with a cool personality and it didnt even go that far.

[QUOTE=D3TBS;50153997]yeah well on one side I can understand her being tired. I work until 6 and after that I only feel like going to sleep and doing nothing, can't even imagine how it is to get out around 9:30 and see the whole day go by like that. But on the other hand it sounds like she doesnt want to hang out. Like saturday she apologized for having to reschedule all the time and that she would write me on sunday, then today she just wrote me thst she was chilling at home the whole time so that's a definitive no for me. i just told her if she still wants anything that she would have to reschedule. What a shame. Just when I thought I found a really hot girl with a cool personality and it didnt even go that far.[/QUOTE] I'm sorry but yeah, she doesn't seem that interested. Being tired from work is a really legit excuse, but when people really want to meet you they'll reschedule right away. I can give you my example: I was starting to meet my current gf even though I'm from the center and she's from up north (3 hours away). Her dad lives down south so she spent the weekend with her dad so that it would be easier for both of us to meet. I went to meet her at her dad's city and it went great. 2 days later she was talking about meeting me at my city. However she spent the whole day doing some errands for her dad and cleaning up the house and her room (her dad rescues animals and they had a lab rat on the loose in her bedroom - long story). She canceled on that day but rescheduled right away to the day after. That's how you know someone really wants to meet you. Sometimes we keep insisting because not being corresponded is a tough reality but yeah - that girl's not that interested, let me tell you. She has other priorities. There are others out there (I know it's a cliché but it's true). They are out there, just keep on living and having fun. We tend to gradually move towards things and consequently important people for us.

Well well. Regarding that friend of mine whom I wrote about a week ago while suffering from hypomania. Hit her up today. Accompanied her for dinner, then got invited for coffee at her place. We had a rather late coffee, listened to classic music, talked and cuddled for several hours. She also invited me to her brother's gig this week and we're catching up at that youth locale tomorrow. It's strange funny because I convinced myself that whatever I thought a week ago was just grandiose thinking due to my lesser mania.

I relapse into addiction, I'm sitting here wondering who I am and what purpose I have in life, waiting for my dealer to return with 2500 dollars worth of speed, and now my eyes are tearing up because I just found out my ex has moved on, all while at the same time the social services are on me closely monitoring my medication and making sure I stay clean or I get sent to a rehabilitation clinic for a couple of months. What a fantastic day, I might hang myself. This is just the stress level I need to enter a full blown mania. [editline]19th April 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Solodris;50160545]I relapse into addiction, I'm sitting here wondering who I am and what purpose I have in life, waiting for my dealer to return with 2500 dollars worth of speed, and now my eyes are tearing up because I just found out my ex has moved on, all while at the same time the social services are on me closely monitoring my medication and making sure I stay clean or I get sent to a rehabilitation clinic for a couple of months. What a fantastic day, I might hang myself. This is just the stress level I need to enter a full blown mania.[/QUOTE] This is called impulsive unskillful speech. After practicing some deep jhana meditation I've come to be at peace with the situation.

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;50150760]Don't worry about it, I used to think the same a couple of months ago. You'll find someone sooner or later.[/QUOTE] I've tried so, SO, many times that I just don't see the point in trying anymore. Every rejection makes me so depressed it's unreal. I'm actually LITERALLY better off not trying.

[QUOTE=TheCactusman;50161685]I've tried so, SO, many times that I just don't see the point in trying anymore. Every rejection makes me so depressed it's unreal. I'm actually LITERALLY better off not trying.[/QUOTE] maybe you are. do something else with your life for a while. love is like a fart; if you're trying to force it, it's probably gonna be shit.

[QUOTE=TheCactusman;50161685]I've tried so, SO, many times that I just don't see the point in trying anymore. Every rejection makes me so depressed it's unreal. I'm actually LITERALLY better off not trying.[/QUOTE] First, I need to point out that being rejected is not making you depressed. Other people do not make you feel things - you make yourself feel them. Everyone has different reactions to rejection and not everyone takes it personally: therefore, it is not the fault of rejection itself that you're depressed. If you're taking it that personally it's likely because you already have self-esteem issues and a lack of social support, which maybe are issues you should address before dating. Aside from that, I've been getting rejected a shit ton, too, and I honestly think it's better to keep trying and keep getting rejected than to give up hope entirely. Rejection doesn't say anything about you or your objective value or anything like that. All that it means is that you don't relate well with the person who rejected you. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, you just haven't found someone yet whose expectations line up with yours. [editline]19th April 2016[/editline] That said, try to enjoy being single, too. Focus on building friendships as well and work on developing yourself - if your entire life is focused on getting a girlfriend, you're going to be a bit dull to talk to. And when you're talking to new people, try not to treat them as a means to an end. You can have a good conversation with someone and never talk to them again - instead of focusing on what you want out of that person, just enjoy the moment and whatever interaction you're currently having.