Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=TheCactusman;50161685]I've tried so, SO, many times that I just don't see the point in trying anymore. Every rejection makes me so depressed it's unreal. I'm actually LITERALLY better off not trying.[/QUOTE] Dating and social ability, like anything else, improves with experience. You should look at rejection as progress rather than a deterrent. When I do something stupid socially or romantically I just try to find humor in it and move on. What's the big deal with being rejected? Literally as soon as the conversation ends the awkwardness recedes and you're back to normal. Like Mannly said, you should focus on just becoming more comfortable and confident in yourself and enjoy life rather than chasing a date. If you're happy and enjoying life, people will naturally gravitate to you and a date may very well just fall in your lap. [editline]19th April 2016[/editline] Like I posted a few weeks ago about how I completely botched a first kiss and felt like a complete piece of shit.. Then went out with a friend, made a joke of it and now everything is back to normal. Awkward or embarrassing social interactions are pretty much irrelevant and meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

[QUOTE=TheCactusman;50161685]I've tried so, SO, many times that I just don't see the point in trying anymore. Every rejection makes me so depressed it's unreal. I'm actually LITERALLY better off not trying.[/QUOTE] Dude, I was straight up rejected by 6 or 7 different girls in a 3 year span with absolutely no successes in between. Completely rejected. Every single time. Didn't even kiss a girl until I was 19. I just kept trying and hanging in there, and eventually got over my social anxiety, found a girl who went on a date with me, and we ended up together. We're broken up now, but now I have so much more confidence in myself and my abilities, I learned so much from both the process of pursuing women and the process of having a committed relationship with one. You just need to keep truckin' until you succeed. There is no other alternative. Very few people are just approached by girls and immediately succeed with them. Most everybody has to work for it. We get up every day and present ourselves the best we can to the world, in hopes that today will be the day we meet someone incredible- be it a future friend, lover , employer etc. Just keep trying. If you can't even put in the effort, you don't deserve it.

I don't even know what's going on with Tinder right now; got a super-like, swiped right, and nothing happened. Apparently people aren't matching when it's done with a super-like?

Should I start trying to be more social before I try to get a girlfriend? I only have like 2-3 real friends, but it's not that I'm socially awkward or anything, I just usually don't hang out that much with other people. I still go to parties and extracurricular stuff pretty often, but outside of that I don't really hang out with the people in it. I don't feel bad about it or anything, like I prefer studying at my dorm instead of with mutual friends at the library or some coffee house, it's just that it feels like there's some kind of pressure that I should be trying to hang out with more people since it's college and a lot of my mutual friends just hang out with each other like everyday.

[QUOTE=titopei;50165165]Should I start trying to be more social before I try to get a girlfriend? I only have like 2-3 real friends, but it's not that I'm socially awkward or anything, I just usually don't hang out that much with other people. I still go to parties and extracurricular stuff pretty often, but outside of that I don't really hang out with the people in it. I don't feel bad about it or anything, like I prefer studying at my dorm instead of with mutual friends at the library or some coffee house, it's just that it feels like there's some kind of pressure that I should be trying to hang out with more people since it's college and a lot of my mutual friends just hang out with each other like everyday.[/QUOTE] you don't need to be a social person to get a girlfriend if you're comfortable with yourself already, and if you know you're not socially awkward even doubly so just go date around if you want a girlfriend or something

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;50163438]Dude, I was straight up rejected by 6 or 7 different girls in a 3 year span with absolutely no successes in between. Completely rejected. Every single time. Didn't even kiss a girl until I was 19. Just keep trying. If you can't even put in the effort, you don't deserve it.[/QUOTE] Sounds exactly the same as me, except make that about 11 in less than 2 years. I'm putting in the effort EVERY time, it's just I either get mixed signals that turn out to be nothing or they're already with someone and it's impossible to tell. [editline]20th April 2016[/editline] I can keep the effort up, it's just knowing when it's not what is required.

So gf is home alone sick andl just drove fucking 300km to take care of her for the week, and realized l forgot my bag with all my stuff back home. I'm just gonna kill myself now. Bye.

Despite my side not working out, things have been actually pretty funny recently. My best friend and her best friend met each other as a result of all of this and they both found out they mutually liked each other. They're now together and are so great for each other. Its amusing how stuff like this pans out.

Hey guys, most cliche SFSaLA question but here goes. There's this cute girl I see really often on the bus and I wanna talk to her. This is a public bus, not like a school bus or anything. I see her playing a 3ds sometimes and she has a Zelda backpack and does not seem crazy so I feel that she may have some common interests. Either way I feel like I want to make a friend. What do I say to her? Shes also wearing headphones alot so that makes it tricky. And also just the fact that, who wants some random stranger to talk to you on a public bus? 90% of the people on these buses are super creepy and while I don't consider myself to be super creepy it doesn't set a very comfortable stage for either party. A while back I posted here about really wanting a relationship and feeling like I wasn't ready and wasn't getting any closer to being ready. At this point I'm a bit better in that regard; still have that vague sense of wanting it too bad but at the same time I'm moving forward and I don't think of any sort of relationship being there to 'fix' or 'help' me. It's just hard to get out of my head. But that's not what this is about, really. I mean sure it'd be neat if something came of it?? But she seems cool and likes similar things maybe and I don't really have any friends besides co-workers so I wanna try doing something about it. Come mid-May I'll be taking Motorcycle lessons and getting my license, and so won't be taking the bus anymore. Was kind of hoping to say something to her before then. So what do I say to her? How do I avoid making her feel uncomfortable about this stranger approaching her on the bus, and how do I not come off as a creep? I'm trying not to overcomplicate it but at the same time I want to consider what it'd feel like from her perspective and I want to be respectful of that.

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I don't think it would seem creepy if you talked to her because of a shared interest like gaming. Usually what makes approaching a girl you don't know seem creepy (in my opinion) is if you're only talking to her because you think she's attractive - talking to someone over a shared interest makes it seem less like you just want to sleep with them. If you feel like you're making her uncomfortable then you can just back off in the future, no harm done. Chances are if she's got a Zelda backpack and is gaming publicly she wouldn't be too upset by someone acknowledging those things. Not sure what to say about the headphones, though. [editline]22nd April 2016[/editline] Honestly, your intentions sound innocent and sincere enough. It sounds like you're not getting ahead of yourself with trying to pursue a relationship with her - you just saw someone who shares an interest and want to get to know them. I'm sure you won't come off as creepy if you approach her.

How do you know when a girl wants to dance with you when you're dancing in a crowd Sometimes it's easy and super apparent and they lean right into you but I was doing it tonight and took the initiative (put my hand softly around this girls' waist) and she just gradually slipped out of my grasp and walked away. It's frustrating because I don't want to come off as a creeper, it seems like the only option when it comes to dancing with girls at a party is to make the first move: if she wants you, everything goes great, but if she doesn't, you look like a huge creepy asshole. It's a weird position and I don't like being in it.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50129919]Yes. I mean why not? It's not like you have anything to lose even if it doesn't develop into a relationship. Go, dude. Ask her for prom.[/QUOTE] Update on this: My school made up some dumb rule where we can't go to prom with people from other classes. So the prom is a no-go. I did however ask her out for a date and I was rejected yet again, with a made up excuse (trust me, I know a made up excuse when I see one). Today she gave me the cold shoulder in school. No idea what I did to deserve it since we've been good friends for 4 years now. I guess she just doesn't like/ want to be with me. Time to move on I guess, I feel like shit though.

I tried tinder 1 year ago and got no matches, tried it out again today and got 2 instantly. wat do, have no experience

I got a super like the other day from a girl on a tall ship visiting the harbour here overnight, she was quite good looking but they left this morning :v: I matched with a couple of girls in glasgow when I was there a couple of weeks ago but that only happened when I was in the airport waiting for the flight home.

[QUOTE=Mr.357;50181118]Time to move on I guess, I feel like shit though.[/QUOTE] Gonna let you know now that highschool dating generally is only good for experience. It will change a lot once you get older. [editline]22nd April 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=ichiman94;50181252]I tried tinder 1 year ago and got no matches, tried it out again today and got 2 instantly. wat do, have no experience[/QUOTE] Just go for it the worst that happens is you get experience.

Apparently the guy I'm seeing has been taking a lot of pleasure in giving his students pretty hard grading criteria for his biology class. And he's been reported to the dean a few times because of it. Not sure if I should take his side or not tbh lol I'm kinda trying to stay out of it because I don't wanna give the impression that I support pigeonholing students - even if they are college students - into getting bad grades but at the same time, I don't wanna be like calling him out or anything. Just gonna wait and see because he never responded to my last text.

even if he's being a dick about it i'm not sure you should comment on it, i don't think there's really a good position for you to take

You're the only one who will change in this situation - if his behavior is going to put you off of wanting to date him then it's worth addressing it, but voicing your opinion of it isn't likely to impact his behavior toward his students or change his outlook on things. Really depends on if you think calling him out and hearing his response is important to your own choices or not.

Edit: Panic attack.

I'm not actually dating him yet lmao and I'm pretty sure I only have half of the story so I'm not jumping to any conclusions yet. But it is a definite red flag to me, I think. I'm not sure yet! He's done teaching this semester though and is going to med school anyway. So I'm not even sure of the longevity of what we have going if he's moving to New York like he told me he was a few weeks ago.

Serious question: When a girl asks you out, you date her and it goes amazing but then she decides to cut off all contact with you and disappear off the face of the earth. Why? This is like the 8th time it happened to me in the last 3 years. I'd usually think that its me being creepy but i barely see any flaws to my behavior. Its always me sending a single message asking for a second date and then they're gone forever. First 3 times i just shrugged it off but now this is getting ridiculous.

[QUOTE=RzDat;50188236]Serious question: When a girl asks you out, you date her and it goes amazing but then she decides to cut off all contact with you and disappear off the face of the earth. Why? This is like the 8th time it happened to me in the last 3 years. I'd usually think that its me being creepy but i barely see any flaws to my behavior. Its always me sending a single message asking for a second date and then they're gone forever. First 3 times i just shrugged it off but now this is getting ridiculous.[/QUOTE] I knew a girl who did this. Her claim was that the closer she got to someone, the more she'd end up hurting the guy in the end, whether its through some emotional issue or something. She'd try and break out of this negative cycle but to no avail. In the end, she'd feel that the best thing to do was to cut contact completely, rather than say communicate. I wonder if there's more to it than that (and I'm sure there is) but that's what was told.

Guys do it too. It's common (even though it shouldn't be) and there are a ton of different possible reasons why she might have done it. Chances are it's not because there's anything wrong with you and is just because you aren't what those specific people were looking for in a partner.

I feel like the sort of person I'd enjoy dating the most is the sort of person I have no clue how to find. That is to say, I doubt they would be in a club, or on tinder, but maybe? I have no fucking clue how people find each other and how the demographics work. I want to find someone who is as baffled by daily life as me, and often thinks about it, but I feel like I'm not gonna find that among the drink-meet-n-fuck culture. And past that I have no clue how to just go find people. Then, there is the issue of actually seeing some girl I find attractive. How does one approach such a stranger without being intimidating or whatever? On the one hand I am conscious of this super sexualized culture and so I should expect them to be used to being apprached, on the other hand I can't even get caught looking at a girl without worrying that I've made them fear for their safety or some shit. I don't even look shady, I just have this neurosis I guess. Idk. It's the same when I'm going to university. I see a few girls I'd like to ask out, but then often they have boyfriends or something and I feel like then the whole class knows I want to meet people and am desperate or some shit. Again IDK. I have plenty of friends from highschool, it's just meeting new people that gets me. I have no clue how to human.

[QUOTE=RzDat;50188236]Serious question: When a girl asks you out, you date her and it goes amazing but then she decides to cut off all contact with you and disappear off the face of the earth. Why? This is like the 8th time it happened to me in the last 3 years. I'd usually think that its me being creepy but i barely see any flaws to my behavior. Its always me sending a single message asking for a second date and then they're gone forever. First 3 times i just shrugged it off but now this is getting ridiculous.[/QUOTE] I have borderline personality disorder and I use to that a lot to people, not saying she has it just that you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. I'd say just leave it and move on eventually you'll find someone were none of that happens. [editline]23rd April 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Zenreon117;50188617]It's just meeting new people that gets me. I have no clue how to human.[/QUOTE] Well I too have no idea how to human so the answer I came to is just be yourself.

[QUOTE=Zenreon117;50188617]I have no clue how to human.[/QUOTE] The rest of the world didn't take some class on how to be a person that you weren't invited to. All of us are figuring things out the same way you are. We've had a lot of similar experiences, we just have come to different conclusions about what they mean to us. Right now you're comparing your own worst to everyone else's best... Which is what everyone else is doing, too. You're allowed to have flaws and you don't have to impress every person you meet. Not everyone is going to like you and that's fine, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Go out and be your own flawed self - the people who appreciate your genuinity are the ones worth talking to.

you're comparing your behind-the-scenes with everybody else's highlight reel. you only see people interacting, you don't see everything that goes through their heads and what they're struggling with, and i guarantee people are too interested in themselves and making sure they're behaving right that if you fuck up, no one will even notice or remember.

One thing I've learned how to do in a business environment is when someone asks "How are you", I immediately reply with "good! How are you?" Like idk but for some reason people get excited when they're asked that in return and it tends to make them friendlier... No idea why. But it helps!

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50192296]I'm just nervous because I haven't done any research on the company, so I'm afraid they'll ask me questions I don't know the answer to. "Why are you interested in our company" "idk my mom's friend invited me so I decided to come"[/QUOTE] .. Do some research? You've got a couple of days. If it's anything like an interview, not knowing anything about them is probably the easiest way to get looked over immediately [editline]24th April 2016[/editline] Also bring your best house training. Don't wee in the plant pots.