Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;50322267]I landed an internship in Manhattan this summer (starts this wednesday) and I just got into the apartment I'm letting in Jackson Heights, Queens. It seems like a decent place but according to the internet over half of the population is 1st gen immigrants and only 15% of the population is white. It's the first time I've been in the minority and its kind of freaking me out. The people seem fine for the most part, its just that I was looking forward to making new friends, meeting new people etc. but most people here are working/middle class foreigners, not many young college student types like me. Maybe once I actually start working I'll meet people through my job and be able to hang out elsewhere but I'm really bummed out. I feel like such a fish out of water. Not only have I never lived in a big city before, but people here in general are much more rude and less likely to talk to/ be nice to strangers. It's sort of something I took for granted growing up near Atlanta. And to top it all off its really seeming like I picked the worst possible neighborhood for a young white kid to live in. I hope this all wasn't a terrible mistake.[/QUOTE] I felt similar when I visited Manhattan. You'll get used to it man. As far as meeting people, it's not like you're only allowed to be friends with your neighbors. You live in a massive city full of stuff to do 24/7, just go out and do things and you'll inevitably meet people. [editline]15th May 2016[/editline] Also I feel like the "New Yorkers are rude" thing is so overblown. There's plenty of wimps in NYC and plenty of super nice people as well. I'd say they're just more busy than rude. You'll adapt.

Yeah I'm already planning on hitting up a few bars/music venues next weekend, hopefully find some cool people that I can start to go out with regularly. I have a couple friends that live on Long Island, so I'll be able to see them every once in a while, but I really want to find a nice group of people that I can do fun things with. My internship is going to be a great oppurtunity and all, but I don't want to squander all my free time sitting around in my apartment.

So, a page or two ago there was a lot of talk about folks who fall for their best friends. Well I've got a story about mine. Last time she and I hung out, she told me she's been seeing someone for a week or two now. Ok, whatever, not that big a deal, I've been friends with her through two or three boyfriends. The thing is... AS FAR AS I KNOW, she has never cheated on any of her boyfriends with me... But we HAVE had sex several times. Now, with this new boyfriend... the two times I've seen her since they've been dating, she has made comments like I would really like this guy, and I should really meet him. And frankly it seems to me like she is just outrageously oblivious as to why that sounds (to me) like an awkward situation. I mean hey, if she and him have the kind of relationship where she could introduce me "This is my friend Loofiloo, he's my best friend and sometimes we bang" then whatever, maybe that's not so bad. But I don't imagine it's that kind of relationship. I imagine that this guy would back way off, maybe even break up with her, if he knew about me and her. I try to picture it from his perspective. If I had just started dating this girl, and I learned that her best friend is a guy, and they've had sex several times, but never dated or officially put an end to the sex, and this especially happens when they drink together (p.s. the guy I'm talking about here apparently doesn't drink), I would feel waaayyyy insecure about her and her relationship with this guy. I might just be an overly-insecure person. It's probably pretty likely. But I don't think most people would want that knowledge on their shoulders. And don't get me wrong, if she forces me to meet this guy or whatever, I'm not gonna go and TELL him that she and I have casual sex. But I would feel really awkward meeting this guy and knowing that I was banging his girlfriend shortly before they started dating. And it's also kind of hard for me to express this concern to her since SHE thinks there's just NOTHING awkward about the situation and that he and I will become the best of chums as soon as we meet. Thing is, her birthday is at the end of this month, and she's invited me to this big dinner get-together with a bunch of her friends, and I'm worried that this guy is going to be there too, and that she's going to introduce us. But I have never met any of her boyfriends since we started having sex, and I'd rather not start now. But also, as her best friend, I don't want to miss her big birthday dinner. So I'm pretty anxious. Maybe I'll get a chance to talk to her about it before the day itself though.

look who came crawling back :v: -snipped: was of that girl who told me i was a failure

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;50322646]Yeah I'm already planning on hitting up a few bars/music venues next weekend, hopefully find some cool people that I can start to go out with regularly. I have a couple friends that live on Long Island, so I'll be able to see them every once in a while, but I really want to find a nice group of people that I can do fun things with. My internship is going to be a great oppurtunity and all, but I don't want to squander all my free time sitting around in my apartment.[/QUOTE] I moved near Atlanta almost a year ago for my job and I still haven't really managed to make friends. I just hang out with coworkers every now and then and an old friend who happens to be going to school nearby. But the area I'm in is mostly middle-aged or older people. It was way busier but I already miss college and how easy it was to socialize.

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;50323602]look who came crawling back :v:[/QUOTE] Might want to censor. Not out of any moral obligation but just in case somebody does something stupid and all of a sudden Facepunch leaks into the real world.

[QUOTE=srobins;50323784]Might want to censor. Not out of any moral obligation but just in case somebody does something stupid and all of a sudden Facepunch leaks into the real world.[/QUOTE] ive put her name on my twitter and instagram because she's done worst things to my name than i have to her, my limit is phone numbers. Snapchat means shit until someone adds you [editline]16th May 2016[/editline] however i will snip the image

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;50325406]ive put her name on my twitter and instagram because she's done worst things to my name than i have to her, my limit is phone numbers. Snapchat means shit until someone adds you [editline]16th May 2016[/editline] however i will snip the image[/QUOTE] Yeah I meant it more for your sake than for hers. It'd just suck if someone started harassing her and it got back to you somehow.

Does anyone have an advice on how not to fuck up a 'flirt' attempt ? I see her once every 2-3 weeks, but there is always a third with us so it can't really happen naturally in the conversation :s: (the context is meeting my neighbors every once in a while at a bar to talk about stuff). Not even a question of lust/love, but we seem to have so much common points, I'd genuinely like to know her more. [QUOTE=jonoPorter;50308991]I need help again with the girl I gave the rose to. I'm doing something with her next Tuesday but my date idea falls flat if the weather is bad that afternoon and weather reports change every hour. Can someone suggest things you can go to during bad weather?[/QUOTE] Well depending on what you guys are into, the usual restaurant / cinema / concert / museum / video games at home... Or indoor sports like ice rink, bowling...

Can I get a girlfriend if I send her this present? [url]http://i.imgur.com/d9yBqWT.png?1[/url]

[QUOTE=OneOTrix4LiFe;50325992]Can I get a girlfriend if I send her this present? [url]http://i.imgur.com/d9yBqWT.png?1[/url][/QUOTE] This is a fallout 4 spoiler, don't click it.

just snip the link in your quote

its pretty hard to deny this falling for my best friend thing now, there's really no doubt I think. she has been in pretty much every dream I've had the past week, maybe even more too and I constantly find myself thinking of her. I really can't take this. I don't want anything more, I want to remove these feelings. its hard to not want to be closer when these unwanted feelings are lurking even though I don't want it at the same time. its tempting to pour my heart out but it could make things really awkward and ruin the friendship if I were to do so. its a nasty situation to be in since she's quite literally my only friend too.

[QUOTE=PredGD;50326613]its pretty hard to deny this falling for my best friend thing now, there's really no doubt I think. she has been in pretty much every dream I've had the past week, maybe even more too and I constantly find myself thinking of her. I really can't take this. I don't want anything more, I want to remove these feelings. its hard to not want to be closer when these unwanted feelings are lurking even though I don't want it at the same time. its tempting to pour my heart out but it could make things really awkward and ruin the friendship if I were to do so. its a nasty situation to be in since she's quite literally my only friend too.[/QUOTE] No offense but it makes me kinda cringe hearing people constantly say "I don't want anything more, I'm happy being friends" when that clearly isn't the case. It's such a rhetorical phrase, obviously you want something more and clearly you have romantic feelings so just own up to it. The issue isn't that you don't want anything more, it's just you're afraid of rejection and spoiling what you have already, which are very different things. You need to evaluate the risk and decide if it's worth it and whether or not you can live with being just friends. This is basically how I got together with my first real girlfriend, best friends followed by feelings leading to basically the best 2~ years of my life. If you guys are really such great friends she should be able to be mature and understanding if you make a move and she isn't into it. If expressing some romantic interest in her destroys your relationship, it's probably not that great to begin with.

[QUOTE=srobins;50326722]No offense but it makes me kinda cringe hearing people constantly say "I don't want anything more, I'm happy being friends" when that clearly isn't the case. It's such a rhetorical phrase, obviously you want something more and clearly you have romantic feelings so just own up to it. The issue isn't that you don't want anything more, it's just you're afraid of rejection and spoiling what you have already, which are very different things. You need to evaluate the risk and decide if it's worth it and whether or not you can live with being just friends. This is basically how I got together with my first real girlfriend, best friends followed by feelings leading to basically the best 2~ years of my life. If you guys are really such great friends she should be able to be mature and understanding if you make a move and she isn't into it. If expressing some romantic interest in her destroys your relationship, it's probably not that great to begin with.[/QUOTE] I suppose its a mix? I legitimately don't want anything more, we've always prided ourselves in the fact that we've known perfectly well where we have each other. how close we've been able to get without having any feelings pop up. I want to go back to that, remove the insecurity and this "extra" attachment. at the same time, yeah, I want to get closer but I can't imagine her being a good partner for me at all to begin with. it might just be me trying to keep denying this. this is really the worst thing I can think of happening between us, and it's happening. it might just be me, I'm probably just seeing things I want to see, but there are things she does that makes me even more unsure on her side too. lately she has been all "no feelings though heh" when saying positive things relating to me. then there's how it's not possible to sleep with me at all anymore, I haven't made any advances so not sure why it's a big deal now. we're going to an amusement park pretty early on tuesday so the plan is for me to come over tomorrow and sleep over, but today she said she was sleeping on the couch all of sudden. I can't help but feel I'm not the only one trying to deny things here, but I don't know. I might just be seeing things I want to see, or there might be some truth to it. either way, if this keeps up I'm probably gonna crack at one point anyway and pour my heart out.

If she is pretty much your only friend, that could be a big part of where this is coming from. A year or two ago, this one girl I knew was pretty much my only friend, and I had a huge crush on her. But since then I've started meeting more people, and she and I are still friends, but that crush went away at the same time. I still think she's an attractive person and all, but I don't really have a desire to be with her romantically, and I think our friendship is better for it.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;50327364]If she is pretty much your only friend, that could be a big part of where this is coming from. A year or two ago, this one girl I knew was pretty much my only friend, and I had a huge crush on her. But since then I've started meeting more people, and she and I are still friends, but that crush went away at the same time. I still think she's an attractive person and all, but I don't really have a desire to be with her romantically, and I think our friendship is better for it.[/QUOTE] this is also something I have been thinking about. about two weeks ago I believe, we were with two others we also know. my insecurity faded and my attraction to her and thoughts surrounding her were completely gone for the day. this has creeped back in place the more we've been with each other after this unfortunately. I think I just need more variety when it comes to friends really. it's a little sad to feel like I have to divert my attraction away from her, I think it would be cool to experiment some with this kind of relation, but eh. I don't want to take the chance if it's not mutual and I think we're better off as close friends and nothing more.

A woman that I was in a relationship with, loved, trusted, shared almost every waking moment with has in the span of one day started acting completely different than her usual self, almost as if she's a different person, and subsequently broke up with me. We were in a happy relationship. Both of us were happy, and both of us kept telling each other how much we love and want each other. Heck, we even wanted to get married! I kept asking her why, but she just keeps saying that she's "a new person now" and that she does not ever want to talk to me again and I had to practically beg her to not block me, simply to keep me at least a bit sane. I don't know what happened and I keep blaming myself because of it, and I have even tried committing suicide because of it. But I'm scared that even after a month in a mental hospital, I will still keep hating myself. People would usually say "Just move on", but that's easier said than done when the woman you loved so much suddenly turned into somebody else.

[QUOTE=srobins;50325540]Yeah I meant it more for your sake than for hers. It'd just suck if someone started harassing her and it got back to you somehow.[/QUOTE] I get that but honestly if it came back to me I'd straight up ignore it. She's a bitch

It seems like becoming invested in a person can take a lot out of someone. Is it like a genuine burden at times? I understand that there would probably be happy moments more often than not if everything's right but it seems like a scary world to enter. I still have yet to experience any of this but I think I'm quickly approaching that stage of my life. anyways here's a quick little story: my friend threw me and another girl into a groupchat because we shared the same(extremely common) last name. i took this as a sign that she was trying to set me up w/ her so i misinterpreted a lot of things at first until she set me straight. they started doing this stupid rhyme stuff with each other like this: [t]http://i.imgur.com/7YTh7AH.png?1[/t] and i felt left out so i wrote my own little poem [quote]holla bitch where u at bitch is fat where u at holla bitch drop the phone dig this bone dig that moan holla holla get it done dolla dolla shit is cash bitch is trash white colla bitch is done holla holla[/quote] it ended up being a bit over the top and for some reason i spent a lot of time writing a sonnet hoping it would fix everything i've said. also my friend's name is iris so hopefully it makes more sense that way [quote]from rain to flowers in the month of May, a pretty bloom of blue and violet, a sudden patch of iris led the way between a girl and boy who never met they found a sea of blue to wade across. a ship in sight, and gentle waters clear, the mariner took to the albatross and sailed until the blue instilled her fear he cursed, he swore, like sounds of thundering the words he said, like "holla bitch" were why the the ship went plundering before the girl, who swam without a hitch. perhaps the ship was all too much for them. he should have thought and learned to swim.[/quote] overall i hope i never meet this girl in person because the second poem probably made things far worse.

Not gonna lie. That's kind of awkward. Did they respond to it in anyway?

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;50330684]It seems like becoming invested in a person can take a lot out of someone. Is it like a genuine burden at times? I understand that there would probably be happy moments more often than not if everything's right but it seems like a scary world to enter. I still have yet to experience any of this but I think I'm quickly approaching that stage of my life. anyways here's a quick little story: my friend threw me and another girl into a groupchat because we shared the same(extremely common) last name. i took this as a sign that she was trying to set me up w/ her so i misinterpreted a lot of things at first until she set me straight. they started doing this stupid rhyme stuff with each other like this: [t]http://i.imgur.com/7YTh7AH.png?1[/t] and i felt left out so i wrote my own little poem it ended up being a bit over the top and for some reason i spent a lot of time writing a sonnet hoping it would fix everything i've said. also my friend's name is iris so hopefully it makes more sense that way overall i hope i never meet this girl in person because the second poem probably made things far worse.[/QUOTE] Here's a way to handle this: 1- It's your friend. A friend don't care and don't judge you. At most he/she should laugh at you in a [I]friendly[/I] way, because he/she's your friend. 2- About the girl - It's not like you recited the poems in front of her with a fedora. Trust me she prob won't judge you because of a few lines of text chat. If you meet her, assume your words (who's the man here ? Who is she to judge you anyway ?) and if she happen to talk about it (even if she prob already forgot about that particular part of your chat) you can simply joke about it and move on. Really man, nothing to worry about.

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;50330684]it ended up being a bit over the top and for some reason i spent a lot of time writing a sonnet hoping it would fix everything i've said. also my friend's name is iris so hopefully it makes more sense that way[/QUOTE] You're a jewfro and a music video with Snoop away from becoming a Professional Rapper. IMO you had nothing to apologize for, both poems were cute and I doubt she took the first one seriously. All the same, I'd wait to see their reactions before you release your next hit single.

snip

oh the poems were all just in good fun, i don't really care how it comes off or what they think. i'm sure they appreciate it anyways. idea from [url="https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1257818&p=44230609#post44230609"]this guy[/url]. i'll be writing more poems cause this other girl was impressed by 'holla bitch'

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;50332574]oh the poems were all just in good fun, i don't really care how it comes off or what they think. i'm sure they appreciate it anyways. idea from [url="https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1257818&p=44230609#post44230609"]this guy[/url]. i'll be writing more poems cause this other girl was impressed by 'holla bitch'[/QUOTE] unfortunate that he did not end his poem with "Slam dunk."

[QUOTE=Darth Ninja;50330917]Not gonna lie. That's kind of awkward. Did they respond to it in anyway?[/QUOTE] the poems fell flat in front of my intended audience and i got called weird, but i won another girl's heart when i showed them to her. you'd think i'd learn from the 20-page letter from last summer and these awkward poems, but i'm going to start working on an animation to woo another girl. the animation project is mostly for myself though so it's going to be chill this time.

I'm going to be one of those people... Online dating blows. Now granted, it does seem to work for a lot of people, but my experience has been bad. It's like these women have such high standards. I realize an attractive woman is probably recieving 40 messages a day, but to not even respond with a simple "not interested" message. Idk, maybe I expect too much? I'm not in an area where there's social things for people my age either.

[QUOTE=FrankPetrov;50343099]I'm going to be one of those people... Online dating blows. Now granted, it does seem to work for a lot of people, but my experience has been bad. It's like these women have such high standards. I realize an attractive woman is probably recieving 40 messages a day, but to not even respond with a simple "not interested" message. Idk, maybe I expect too much? I'm not in an area where there's social things for people my age either.[/QUOTE] Their profile might just be inactive though?

[QUOTE=Darth Ninja;50343119]Their profile might just be inactive though?[/QUOTE] No, because every time I find someone i would be interested in, I send them a message. Usually a few hours later, longest was a day, I get a notification that they viewed my profile.