Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;50486925]But one friend really pissed me off. She told me Tinder is full of superficial people, and I'm not going to find someone that way. Which sounds like a backhanded way to call me unattractive. She even had the guts to say to me "Do you really want to start a relationship from a [i]hookup app[/i]?" while (before and after) telling me about her amazing boyfriend that she found on Tinder and it's the best relationship she's ever had and it's all so perfect in every way. Like basically telling me all the amazing ways Tinder has made her life better, while simultaneously telling ME that I'LL never have that. She advises me to just delete the app.[/QUOTE] It's largely because you're a guy. Women have a much easier time getting noticed on dating sites than men do. She might not have been trying to insult you - she might have said not to bother with it because she thinks her situation of meeting her boyfriend there is extremely unlikely.

that's the way it is with tinder really. it's full of guys looking to get something quick and easy, girls will get a lot of likes and can afford to be choosy with who they like and meet with. I used up a days likes a few days in a row in glasgow and got maybe 5 likes back, one being a bot. don't worry about your looks or anything because you haven't had much luck with it, most guys will be in the exact same ship as you. I'm an average dude apart from my hair. as has been mentioned here when I said about this last, there are some girls that like properly long hair on a dude. a lot don't. tinder is pretty much based on how shallow people are. find them hot? like them. you might get to talking, then find out you can't stand their personality. when it comes down to it, there really isn't a substitute for just getting in front of someone, introducing yourself and talking to them.

Mildly weird situation I know this girl who I think is pretty dope I asked her out ages ago and she said she wasn't over her ex but she liked talking to me so that was still a okay but we never saw each other just text Last week I asked her if she wanted to do something fun and casual (in those words) She was totally on board for that and the night went pretty great How do I move this one forward

Ask her if she's interested on going on date, or ask something along those lines. Could just be a you're a great friend thing as well but you won't know unless you try.

so how long until i get over my ex? its been six months already, damn, it still feels like yesterday.

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;50499655]so how long until i get over my ex? its been six months already, damn, it still feels like yesterday.[/QUOTE] The feelings don't go away all together, you just learn to live with them and put them out of your mind, it becomes more of a nostalgia trip as time goes you probably won't ever magically wake up feeling 'ready' or 'completely over it', you'll just realize it stops playing at your mind so much the further along you get and the more you focus on living and enjoying your own life as for moving on, whenever you're ready really

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;50499655]so how long until i get over my ex? its been six months already, damn, it still feels like yesterday.[/QUOTE] What means this "get over my ex" you speak of? [editline]12th June 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=elasticity;50499729]The feelings don't go away all together, you just learn to live with them and put them out of your mind, it becomes more of a nostalgia trip as time goes you probably won't ever magically wake up feeling 'ready' or 'completely over it', you'll just realize it stops playing at your mind so much the further along you get and the more you focus on living and enjoying your own life as for moving on, whenever you're ready really[/QUOTE] That sounds lovely.

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;50499655]so how long until i get over my ex? its been six months already, damn, it still feels like yesterday.[/QUOTE] eh, I wouldn't beat myself too much if I were you. Took me 3 years to get over the last girl I was truly in love with. it might take less for you, who knows? just don't overthink really. Everybody recovers at a different rate.

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;50499655]so how long until i get over my ex? its been six months already, damn, it still feels like yesterday.[/QUOTE] Commit yourself to something. A year or so ago I posted here about a bad breakup that I went through, and I ended up getting through it by giving more time to other things I cared about but didn't spend as much time on when I was in a relationship. For me, music and politics were a great way to channel some of those negative feelings into something positive. Also, you should really sleep with someone new if you haven't been. And if it still feels like yesterday, I think that's a good indicator that you haven't found someone new. It sounds terrible, but the way many people get over failed relationships is jumping into the next one.

For all of you people that need dating advice and thijgs like that, this is the best place to go. A forum I go on often [url]http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php[/url]

[QUOTE=1feaF56aF1469;50509791]For all of you people that need dating advice and thijgs like that, this is the best place to go. A forum I go on often [url]http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php[/url][/QUOTE] yeaaaaah don't do this

So I'm back from an amazing week at my long distance gf's place and it was amazing. Come to think of it I'm really thinking about moving to her city for good. I've been feeling stuck here. I don't feel like there are a lot of options for me rather than finishing my previous degree at a low ranked polytechnic institute. Up at her city I could actually do the same but at an actual well ranked institute and move in close to her. I shared these thoughts with her and a friend of mine who says he can help me out by renting me a room. She was pretty happy about this decision too. So I guess this'll be it for me I guess. I'm stuck at my parents home for what it seems to be forever. My dad is making me work as a slave in his company (I've been working there since March with no pay) and I still get yelled at and guilt tripped into lending him all my life savings while not getting payed. I want to fix my PC... can't, they won't let me - "no money" they say. While they keep on siphoning whatever I have left . I want to buy a drum set, same... So if I'm poor, I'd rather be poor on my own and next to the people I love. It's been too long. This woman is something else. A real partner who's been helping me a lot. I don't see a reason to stay at my parent's home anymore and I don't know if I can ever maintain this relationship in a healthy way forever If I stay. It's a pretty hard step to take. Just moving out like that. Something I've never done before. I'm scared, but it has to be done.

So, today i've got beaten up for ideology and this is completely ridiculous. I'm a speechmaker and reading soviet poetry (mostly V.Mayakovsky) on Arbat st. in Moscow, and today planned a big action for about 5 hours to, that would make me a shitload of money. To make the show more authentic, i've attached a big magnificent soviet flag to a microphone stand. On about 3-rd hour came some guys, who seemed to have some far-right political beliefs (maybe even freaking nazis or fascists, one of them was bald-shaved) and started to importune me and my fellows, asking about my flag and demanding to remove it (of course i refused). Then this shit turned into a verbal cross-fire, that grew to the fist fight (also book, thermos bottle, lead battery, and hell knows what fight). I took a damn tangible hit to my face, and hitted that bald guy several times to the head myself, then probably became the first man, who ran across Arbat st. with 5kg AC/DC battery, intending to beat someone with it, lost my precious flag, and all this mess scared my gf, who was there. [B]WHAT THE FLYING FUCK, IS THIS EVEN NORMAL, THAT IN 21-TH CENTURY I CAN BE BEATED BY SOME FUCKING N-A-Z-I-S ON THE DAMN FUCKING MAIN TOURIST STREET OF THE CAPITAL OF MY COUNTRY, WHILE JUST DOING MY JOB?![/B]

Shi, i'm starting to realise, that kinda missed the thread, 'cause this one is more about realationship and stuff like that, but i needed to tell this shit somewhere too much.

I just had the most awkward """date""" yesterday. A little background, she's extremely smart who wants to be a doctor and is top of her class. I'm going with her to prom and she got pretty hooked lately (hugs out of nowhere and lots of "when are we gonna hang out"). cool right? i just went with it. I went to her house to chill and everything went pretty much downhill from there. At first everything was fine and dandy: I had my regular private joker attitude and she talked about her life while laughing at my jokes. Then we silently watched some of of her medical sitcoms, i was pretty puzzled and tried engaging in conversation with her about it but she was just silent and didn't answer. After sitting silently watching a 50 minute episode, she suggested coffee and i said yes. Then she started telling me more about her accomplishments and awards she won in the last year. I praised her for it but at the same time I playfully joked about her being a nerd. (and believe me i ALWAYS carefully consider my words) Next thing i know she blankly stares at me for like 20 seconds and whispering "the door is there, get out" I didn't expect this at all, she was 100% serious while saying "If you're gonna keep this up, you'll have to leave" she said. "you won't make fun of my accomplishments" I tried explaining to her that I was just having a laugh and she shouldn't take me seriously and that i'm sorry for offending her but she kept telling me that if i keep this up, i'll have to leave. She then quickly changed the subject in a more serious tone asking me random questions but after a while i just found some bullshit excuse to leave early. Did I do anything wrong? I'm supposed to go to prom with her for god's sake. (Not to mention I feel like avoiding that girl like the plague now)

you didn't do anything wrong but she's obviously extremely sensitive about her accomplishments, could be low self esteem or something like that. some people can't take jokes like that, she might be an overachiever because she was bullied or something or told she couldn't do it and so even joking about it makes her upset [editline]13th June 2016[/editline] there's a lot of reasons why she would act that way but it was definitely an overreaction, at least she calmed down after a bit

So this girl I really dig told me today she's in an open relationship and I don't quite know how to handle that I think casual dating would probably be whays best for me right now since I dont think I'm emotionally in the right place for grand commitment But I'm naturally a hugely jealous person A part of me really wants to try dating this girl and seeing where it goes but I don't 100% know what to do

[QUOTE=RzDat;50515699]I just had the most awkward """date""" yesterday. A little background, she's extremely smart who wants to be a doctor and is top of her class. I'm going with her to prom and she got pretty hooked lately (hugs out of nowhere and lots of "when are we gonna hang out"). cool right? i just went with it. I went to her house to chill and everything went pretty much downhill from there. At first everything was fine and dandy: I had my regular private joker attitude and she talked about her life while laughing at my jokes. Then we silently watched some of of her medical sitcoms, i was pretty puzzled and tried engaging in conversation with her about it but she was just silent and didn't answer. After sitting silently watching a 50 minute episode, she suggested coffee and i said yes. Then she started telling me more about her accomplishments and awards she won in the last year. I praised her for it but at the same time I playfully joked about her being a nerd. (and believe me i ALWAYS carefully consider my words) Next thing i know she blankly stares at me for like 20 seconds and whispering "the door is there, get out" I didn't expect this at all, she was 100% serious while saying "If you're gonna keep this up, you'll have to leave" she said. "you won't make fun of my accomplishments" I tried explaining to her that I was just having a laugh and she shouldn't take me seriously and that i'm sorry for offending her but she kept telling me that if i keep this up, i'll have to leave. She then quickly changed the subject in a more serious tone asking me random questions but after a while i just found some bullshit excuse to leave early. Did I do anything wrong? I'm supposed to go to prom with her for god's sake. (Not to mention I feel like avoiding that girl like the plague now)[/QUOTE] Try striking up conversation with her again at some point, but seriously that's really weird if she was totally serious. If you can't talk to each other, find someone else for prom.

[QUOTE=RzDat;50515699]I just had the most awkward """date""" yesterday. A little background, she's extremely smart who wants to be a doctor and is top of her class. I'm going with her to prom and she got pretty hooked lately (hugs out of nowhere and lots of "when are we gonna hang out"). cool right? i just went with it. I went to her house to chill and everything went pretty much downhill from there. At first everything was fine and dandy: I had my regular private joker attitude and she talked about her life while laughing at my jokes. Then we silently watched some of of her medical sitcoms, i was pretty puzzled and tried engaging in conversation with her about it but she was just silent and didn't answer. After sitting silently watching a 50 minute episode, she suggested coffee and i said yes. Then she started telling me more about her accomplishments and awards she won in the last year. I praised her for it but at the same time I playfully joked about her being a nerd. (and believe me i ALWAYS carefully consider my words) Next thing i know she blankly stares at me for like 20 seconds and whispering "the door is there, get out" I didn't expect this at all, she was 100% serious while saying "If you're gonna keep this up, you'll have to leave" she said. "you won't make fun of my accomplishments" I tried explaining to her that I was just having a laugh and she shouldn't take me seriously and that i'm sorry for offending her but she kept telling me that if i keep this up, i'll have to leave. She then quickly changed the subject in a more serious tone asking me random questions but after a while i just found some bullshit excuse to leave early. Did I do anything wrong? I'm supposed to go to prom with her for god's sake. (Not to mention I feel like avoiding that girl like the plague now)[/QUOTE] No matter how good and subtle you think you are at making jokes. There's a time and a place. And jokes worked out pretty well until she started venting and you kept on joking. Now I don't know what you said exactly, but maybe you missed the point that she was being more serious than you'd expected. Some people tolerate that, some people don't. Not that you're a monster for doing so, nor am I accusing you of misconduct and disrespect, but you can't really blame her for reacting that way with you. I'm also a joker myself but I personally hate when people do that to me when I'm trying to be serious. However I wouldn't act that way. Her accomplishments seem like a serious topic to her so don't go there unless you're willing to take it seriously. From here on out, I don't know why you feel like you should avoid her. But ok, that's up to you. I don't think that's something you shouldn't be able to fix with an honest apology. [editline]14th June 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Dysentery;50515731]you didn't do anything wrong but she's obviously extremely sensitive about her accomplishments,[B] could be low self esteem or something like that[/B]. some people can't take jokes like that, she might be an overachiever because she was bullied or something or told she couldn't do it and so even joking about it makes her upset [/QUOTE] Why is it always low self esteem when a girl doesn't want to take a sensitive subject lightly into a joking matter? Is establishing boundaries and reserving serious topics for serious tones really that revealing of having self esteem issues?

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50518677]No matter how good and subtle you think you are at making jokes. There's a time and a place. And jokes worked out pretty well until she started venting and you kept on joking. Now I don't know what you said exactly, but maybe you missed the point that she was being more serious than you'd expected. Some people tolerate that, some people don't. Not that you're a monster for doing so, nor am I accusing you of misconduct and disrespect, but you can't really blame her for reacting that way with you. I'm also a joker myself but I personally hate when people do that to me when I'm trying to be serious. However I wouldn't act that way. Her accomplishments seem like a serious topic to her so don't go there unless you're willing to take it seriously. From here on out, I don't know why you feel like you should avoid her. But ok, that's up to you. I don't think that's something you shouldn't be able to fix with an honest apology. [editline]14th June 2016[/editline] Why is it always low self esteem when a girl doesn't want to take a sensitive subject lightly into a joking matter? Is establishing boundaries and reserving serious topics for serious tones really that revealing of having self esteem issues?[/QUOTE] I actually did apologize to her today and she forgives me. She didn't vent about anything too, we just chatted about random stuff while i throw a bit of sarcasm on the side. But I still feel like that's a complete overreaction, Not to mention I made fun of myself having low grades and being overall lazy while she laughed like crazy. Don't think there's a reason to have a relationship with a girl who takes things too seriously. In my book its a recipe for disaster.

[QUOTE=RzDat;50519137] Don't think there's a reason to have a relationship with a girl who takes things too seriously. In my book its a recipe for disaster.[/QUOTE] I think there's still a conversation to be had there. Maybe something else was going on in the background. I'd give it one more chance.

[QUOTE=mindlost;50519184]I think there's still a conversation to be had there. Maybe something else was going on in the background. I'd give it one more chance.[/QUOTE] I dunno, in my point of view anything from now on will just be awkward. Not to mention my self-esteem was completely crushed from that.

Pre-meds are a bunch of stressed out Type As with an inhuman obsession for grades and awards. Believe me, I've been in their shoes. Does she have to take a big entry exam soon? When I was taking mine, I was a glowing hot ball of fury that lashed out at the tiniest thing.

[QUOTE=AlienCreature;50519348]Pre-meds are a bunch of stressed out Type As with an inhuman obsession for grades and awards. Believe me, I've been in their shoes. Does she have to take a big entry exam soon? When I was taking mine, I was a glowing hot ball of fury that lashed out at the tiniest thing.[/QUOTE] Well shit, you guessed it.

[QUOTE=RzDat;50519664]Well shit, you guessed it.[/QUOTE] There's not much you can do to make her relax, it will get 1000x better after the exam. It's a transformation, really: the day before I took mine, I would have screamed at my brother over a weird look. The day after, I was cheerful. Just be supportive.

today is going to be my last day in middle school and i will go to 9th grade on august 29th. but i'm kind of worried about the outlook of my social life. i want to be social and for many years i was always that kid who would sit alone at recess and barely talked (however, i am much more willing to talk to people online). it's not depression or anything, it's just that i'm not comfortable enough talking to people to go out and have active conversations with my classmates. i do have a few friends, but my friendship with the person that connected me with them was only started because i found out he was interested in video games too - something i think shouldn't limit who and who i don't want to be friends with. and i think that one of the main attributes that is causing this is my self-esteem. i'm shy and reluctant to say anything because i'm very afraid i'll say something embarrassing or something i should keep to myself - which is what i did all the time in 5th-6th grade and now i ridicule myself everyday thinking about those cringy things i said/did. i don't want to be a lonely loser with no friends in high school so i was wanting to have a fresh start in highschool; by that i mean i'll try to be more socially active while gladly knowing my classmates don't remember all the dumb stuff i did. and the only way i'll have a successful "fresh start" is if i raise my self-esteem and be more open. so, facepunch, do you know anything i can do to try to be more assertive/socially active?

[QUOTE=Trixil;50525122]so, facepunch, do you know anything i can do to try to be more assertive/socially active?[/QUOTE] What's something positive that you think will come from being more assertive/socially active?

I understand it's going to be a difficult concept for you to grasp, but you really need to let go of how you're perceived by others. By all means this is easier said than done, but if you're constantly questioning your own actions and reactions to things, you're going to be "in your head" far too much. It's impossible to outright dismiss every opinion from every single person, but being conscious of the fact that their opinion is just that, an opinion, can be comforting when their opinion isn't exactly kind. Try to focus as hard as you can on the conversations you're having with people. Assuming most topics are light-hearted and not uncomfortable or serious, just speak what comes to mind immediately, try not to filter yourself too much. It will likely still happen a lot (filtering yourself) but just try to be conscious of the fact that you're overriding yourself and try to change that. It's immensely difficult, even for me at 23 years old, but it's important. This isn't to say you should be outright rude, some times it's beneficial to withhold sour opinions. Just try not to be afraid to share your thoughts when it's appropriate to do so. If people bully you for sharing your thoughts, stop speaking to them and move on to another group who is more open-minded. It's not worth your time talking to people who will belittle you for being yourself, no matter how popular or w/e they are. Don't worry about your cringey memories either dude, everyone has those memories that immediately repulse them upon remembering them. Who knows, maybe some of em will make for some funny stories in a couple years!

It's okay to be nervous or socially anxious. Your emotions don't control your actions. If you're feeling nervous about approaching someone, you can recognize it and allow yourself to feel it, and act despite it. Some people might even empathize with your nervousness - lots of people are shy.

Guys, I got out of a long-term relationship two weeks ago and want to get back out there but I've only ever been in long-term relationships for the last ~4 years and have no fucking clue where to start, what do I do? Should I wait longer?