Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50563916]I think that I'm angry because I've suffered so much after this breakup and I worked really hard to rebuild my confidence and build a life away from her. I completely banned her and everything that had to do with her from my life. Let's say, I created this protecting bubble away from her and I built in my subconscious so I could be safe from her. This message exchange... it represents me letting her in, me falling for a trick, a clickbait and imprudently letting her in, and that "bubble" popped.[/QUOTE] But you didn't let her in. Like Nav said, you shut her down pretty quick as soon as you realized it was her. You handled the whole thing very well - even if she tries bullshit like this in the future, it sounds like you're fully capable of handling it at this point. It's okay to still be hurt by what happened. It's normal. It's better to face those feelings as they come rather than deny to yourself that you're still healing. Sometimes recovering from a relationship like that takes a lot longer than you expect. It's good that you're introspecting over what happened and were able to figure out why exactly it upset you.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50560960]Online dating can be for anyone. You just have to utilize the right dating service. For instance, if you're looking for something more than just a hookup, you'll probably want to use OkCupid over something like Tinder. But online dating is becoming bigger and bigger and to not use it when it's there (and best of all, [I]free[/I]) is definitely losing out on the opportunity to at least meet new people.[/QUOTE]I guess I could try it. I'm a little apprehensive because it seems like shopping for people and I'm not sure I live up to the expectation of the people on those sites.

Tinder isn't as much for hookups as it used to be. Met my current girlfriend on there, wasn't really expecting more than a simple date to get to know someone in the area (recently moved here for the Navy) and we ended up hitting it off bigtime. Had a few dates before that with other girls, all from Tinder, still talk to them but it's just platonic. Just follow the basic formula. Three pictures. One full-body picture (doesn't have to be shirtless or any of that shit, just gives an idea of what your body shape is like), one face picture, and one "activity" non-selfie picture of you doing something you enjoy. The best of the three should be your main picture, activity tends to be the most successful one unless you're fucking shredded then put body. Profile/biography shouldn't be any more than a sentence or two, emphasis on saying something that shows your personality instead of a dry description. At the end of the day, your goal should be something that makes the type of person you're looking for laugh. For example, if you want someone nerdy, put a nerdy joke down. Tinder is unique in the sense that it isn't like okcupid or other dating websites where you're literally browsing for people like you're shopping for a car. It's a quick few second decision of yes or no instead of, "Lemme read this profile and see what's up with this person." Recipe for success online (in my experience) is shoot for the date ASAP. Exchange your hellos and witty comments, ask him/her out. Messaging over the internet or whatever is [B]not[/B] how you want to get to know someone. The first messages just establish they are a real human being and not totally out of their fucking mind, the in-person interaction is how you get to know them. People constantly fuck this up and it really kills it, they spend forever exchanging messages and when it comes time to go out on a real date, they sit awkwardly and try not to make eye contact because they're already talked about everything you should talk about on a first date.

...I'm going for a coffee with a girl tomorrow... This is a HUGE improvement over anything before! I'm seriously really happy about this!

So she decided to send me a message few days after she said we are not gonna be friends anymore. Should I bother or not?

Do I state on the dating site that I've never been in a relationship before or that a no no?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50572752]Do I state on the dating site that I've never been in a relationship before or that a no no?[/QUOTE] Are you going to make a big deal of it or will it actually not be of any importance? If yes, yes. If no, no.

[QUOTE=Navarchus;50572793]Are you going to make a big deal of it or will it actually not be of any importance? If yes, yes. If no, no.[/QUOTE]It's not a big deal to me, I just want them to know what they're in for as a courtesy.

That date I went on went well. Drove for 3 hours, got stuck in morning traffic surrounded by big bad freight trucks. Stopped at a Portuguese bakery because I haven't had custards and sumol in FOREVER. Head to her place, picked her up and she directed me to a nearby Irish pub. We ate, talked for a while about tattoos, our families, work life. Eventually ended back up at her place and we sat in her backyard and talked about music, dogs, and our homes. Had to leave to make it back home in time for a doctor appointment. At the end when I got in my truck she was about to head back inside but turned around to come give me a peck on the cheek. Messaged her later when I got home and she said she had a great time and her mom was obsessed with the custards I left her. :v:

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50572932]It's not a big deal to me, I just want them to know what they're in for as a courtesy.[/QUOTE] you're probably better off just building up confidence and just being like any other dude on there, not admitting it unless asked, which i'd imagine 80% of the time doesn't happen until later on in your conversations together. and if it does i'd imagine by then you'll have established yourself enough to be otherwise worthwhile. imo don't do it

protip for anyone: don't make out or do anything further than that on the first date there's just lots of regret between both parties and some bad feelings and someone is bound to get hurt i do not recommend it though this is just from my experience, of course there are bound to be scenarios where it just works but i have yet to encounter that [editline]23rd June 2016[/editline] like it's usually not a complete deal breaker, it's just something you have to deal with, you know?

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50581241]That really varies from person-to-person, and whether if its a hookup, fling, etc.[/QUOTE] i was talking about more of a serious thing you want to pursue, but yeah i definitely agree

[QUOTE=NixNax123;50581251]i was talking about more of a serious thing you want to pursue, but yeah i definitely agree[/QUOTE] Still comes down to person to person, some people end up fine after that others don't. Though in the end if you click you click and if you don't you don't. I just wonder if there is something like quantum mechanics at play in regards to who you click with?

Looking through my matches I'm starting to notice how shallow I am. It's not as though any of the people I had crushes on in the past were supermodels, but I do seem to favour people who have certain facial features more. I certain do look at personality, but I tend to see looks as the gateway to that. Is there a beggars can't be choosers thing here or is it ok to have a bit of preference? [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50579282]What do you mean by that?[/QUOTE]Oh, I just wanted them to be more understanding if I make any beginners mistakes. [QUOTE=Systema;50579333]you're probably better off just building up confidence and just being like any other dude on there, not admitting it unless asked, which i'd imagine 80% of the time doesn't happen until later on in your conversations together and if it does, I'd imagine by then you'll have established yourself enough to be otherwise worthwhile. imo don't do it[/QUOTE]Yeah, I did decide not to mention it.

You can always have a preference. I draw the line, however, when people without basic personal hygiene expect their partners to be perfect lol. You'd be surprised how many people pull that.. It's bad.

-snipe-

What are people's stance of long-distance relationships in this thread? For nearly a year I've been dating a girl online, and the 19th (or 18th because my time was skipped a day forward) of July marks our first anniversary.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50591939]If it works, it works![/QUOTE] Then I guess it's working, we're both happy with no complaints except for one. We're too far away to kiss each other! I'm hoping before the summer ends, I can afford a trip to Indiana and meet her in person, along with meeting her family. Her mother already sees me as her step-son, and the rest of her family, dad, step-dad, sister, step-brothers, and all want to see me come up there too. She says that I'm the best thing to ever influence her life, ever since we've became friends until now I've been there for her when she was struggling with the divorce between her parents, standing up against her depression (there were a few close calls), and being in an emotionally abusive relationship with an ex named Eric (he became edgy), and ending another one named Richie who was a dick. It was after the latter did she spill her heart out to me and we officially started dating. She's never had anyone care for her like I did, and she's grateful for it. We're both happy, that's all that matters.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50590144]Looking through my matches I'm starting to notice how shallow I am. It's not as though any of the people I had crushes on in the past were supermodels, but I do seem to favour people who have certain facial features more. I certain do look at personality, but I tend to see looks as the gateway to that. Is there a beggars can't be choosers thing here or is it ok to have a bit of preference? Oh, I just wanted them to be more understanding if I make any beginners mistakes. Yeah, I did decide not to mention it.[/QUOTE] You have your rights to have preferences like everyone else dude. Plus, you have matcheS? I reopened Tinder a week ago and I got like one match, and I'm not ugly at all (I think). Maybe you are not as bad as you think.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50590163]You can always have a preference. I draw the line, however, when people without basic personal hygiene expect their partners to be perfect lol. You'd be surprised how many people pull that.. It's bad.[/QUOTE]I only really expect someone who has the same personal hygiene as me. [QUOTE=Cosa8888;50592309]You have your rights to have preferences like everyone else dude. Plus, you have matcheS? I reopened Tinder a week ago and I got like one match, and I'm not ugly at all (I think). Maybe you are not as bad as you think.[/QUOTE] Well I'm not really much of a looker, [url]http://i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag90/TheRoboChimp/Mebeard_zps6c5f2bab.jpg[/url] I'm using that site Pascall suggested: okcupid.com , which probably has a few more matches than tinder.

Don't forget to answer the little questions they have for you to answer. That's always fun to do on the app whenever I'm bored and it helps cater your matches to you.

[QUOTE=Gentleman Cat;50592000]Then I guess it's working, we're both happy with no complaints except for one. We're too far away to kiss each other! I'm hoping before the summer ends, I can afford a trip to Indiana and meet her in person, along with meeting her family. Her mother already sees me as her step-son, and the rest of her family, dad, step-dad, sister, step-brothers, and all want to see me come up there too. She says that I'm the best thing to ever influence her life, ever since we've became friends until now I've been there for her when she was struggling with the divorce between her parents, standing up against her depression (there were a few close calls), and being in an emotionally abusive relationship with an ex named Eric (he became edgy), and ending another one named Richie who was a dick. It was after the latter did she spill her heart out to me and we officially started dating. She's never had anyone care for her like I did, and she's grateful for it. We're both happy, that's all that matters.[/QUOTE] If it works, it works, but stay apprehensive. By that, I mean don't fully commit every ounce of your being to the concept of being with her forever or whatever until you actually meet her in person. There might be nuances in the way she is in person that don't show up during your online communication. I know a dude who met a gorgeous girl online, they did the online dating thing, were head over heels for each other for about a year before they actually met in person. When they finally met, he said she was everything he thought she'd be [B]but[/B] she had terrible hygiene. She smelled horrible, her breath was rancid, it was bad. He even went as far as to try and mention it to her, she said she'd try better to not be disgusting and then continued being disgusting. Kinda like buying something off eBay, don't celebrate until it's actually in your hands and you know there's nothing wrong with it. [editline]25th June 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=RoboChimp;50592490] Well I'm not really much of a looker, [URL]http://i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag90/TheRoboChimp/Mebeard_zps6c5f2bab.jpg[/URL] [/QUOTE] Lmao dude I got fucked up chameleon eyes and always have my head titled to one side but have never had issues with scoring dates and whatnot. Trust me broseph, your chances are much better than you think they are. You'll never win if you go into the game expecting to lose.

Are question about sex allowed here?

[URL="https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1499584"]Use this thread instead.[/URL]

Just got woke up after prom night, i have some mixed feelings: A. Me and prom date had a blast. Even after that little awkward incident we laughed at it and had tons of fun. Some point after midnight she got a little drunk and told me out of nowhere that she would like to consider me as a friend and nothing more. My reaction? i took it smoothly as fuck, I told her that i'm happy that she's honest with me and that i'm fine with her decision while smiling. Then we got back up and went dancing again. B. The drinks were watered as hell. I couldn't even get lightheaded for more than 20 minutes before it wearing off, so thats a bummer. C. I couldn't stand the god damn heat. Everyone was either drunk or sweaty as fuck (or both) D. After the bus dropped me back at the city i walked around until 5:20 and watched the sunrise. It sorta made me happy but i also realized i'm going to be 19 and still never had a gf, And to be honest i'm completely cool with it. I still feel like I don't miss out much. I decided that after i'm done with this month's work, i'll dedicate next month for self improvement and go back to lifting weights at the gym.

So one girl sent me a message saying I was 'cute', I'm not sure if she was a bot though. [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50592502]Lmao dude I got fucked up chameleon eyes and always have my head titled to one side but have never had issues with scoring dates and whatnot. Trust me broseph, your chances are much better than you think they are. You'll never win if you go into the game expecting to lose.[/QUOTE] I don't know, I think my standards are too high, I've mostly liked girls in the past who've turned out to already be in relationships, I guess they're out of my league or something. I'm sort of just looking for one person, not really to continuously date different people.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50604560]So one girl sent me a message saying I was 'cute', I'm not sure if she was a bot though. I don't know, I think my standards are too high, I've mostly liked girls in the past who've turned out to already be in relationships, I guess they're out of my league or something. I'm sort of just looking for one person, not really to continuously date different people.[/QUOTE] Them already being in relationships doesn't mean they're out of your league. Don't stress over it too much I've known how that feels. Eventually you find someone even if it takes a year or two or less.

[video=youtube;jAemhlXfrw4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAemhlXfrw4[/video] Chris gets it. Self management is so important in a relationship, otherwise it breaks down. Anyone going through breakup or whatever, just listen to the first few seconds :)

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50608191]It's important not to significantly rely on the other person to the point it drags them down due to neediness.[/QUOTE] I agree - I guess that comes into self management though of ones issues etc.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50604560]So one girl sent me a message saying I was 'cute', I'm not sure if she was a bot though. [/QUOTE] Did you message back? If so, did she ignore every question you asked, then quickly tell you to add her on Skype/Facebook, or to visit a sketchy-looking link? That's what bots do. If she doesn't do those things, keep talking, maybe it's a real person