Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

I'm in a bit of a dilemma. So there's this girl I've been seeing a while. She clearly is really attached to me but for some reason keeps avoiding the idea of making anything official. She's said that she's more or less self conscious about how other people would perceive it since she just got out of a 5-year relationship about 8 months ago. She's even asked for me to avoid showing affection when we met with one of her friends she hasn't seen since she broke up with her previous bf. It really bothers me quite a bit, especially when she shuts down at the confrontation about it. Also, she works insane hours to the point where we do not see each other but once every one or two weeks. At this point, what is holding me back from ending this is that when we are together, we have pretty good chemistry. Another thing to consider is that once the semester starts, we will be seeing a lot of each other and will have class together. Do you all think I should end it before this drags on for too long? Or maybe I should weather the storm until I can get a definite position?

[QUOTE=Splash Attack;50613824]I'm in a bit of a dilemma. So there's this girl I've been seeing a while. She clearly is really attached to me but for some reason keeps avoiding the idea of making anything official. She's said that she's more or less self conscious about how other people would perceive it since she just got out of a 5-year relationship about 8 months ago. She's even asked for me to avoid showing affection when we met with one of her friends she hasn't seen since she broke up with her previous bf. It really bothers me quite a bit, especially when she shuts down at the confrontation about it. Also, she works insane hours to the point where we do not see each other but once every one or two weeks. At this point, what is holding me back from ending this is that when we are together, we have pretty good chemistry. Another thing to consider is that once the semester starts, we will be seeing a lot of each other and will have class together. Do you all think I should end it before this drags on for too long? Or maybe I should weather the storm until I can get a definite position?[/QUOTE] It sounds like she may not have completely moved on from the relationship she's just exited. I'd say to be patient if you think something's there, it's not a race. But if her behavior is really making you uncomfortable, you definitely need to have some communication aboot that before proceeding to anything more serious.

[QUOTE=Splash Attack;50613824]I'm in a bit of a dilemma. So there's this girl I've been seeing a while. She clearly is really attached to me but for some reason keeps avoiding the idea of making anything official. She's said that she's more or less self conscious about how other people would perceive it since she just got out of a 5-year relationship about 8 months ago. She's even asked for me to avoid showing affection when we met with one of her friends she hasn't seen since she broke up with her previous bf. It really bothers me quite a bit, especially when she shuts down at the confrontation about it. Also, she works insane hours to the point where we do not see each other but once every one or two weeks. At this point, what is holding me back from ending this is that when we are together, we have pretty good chemistry. Another thing to consider is that once the semester starts, we will be seeing a lot of each other and will have class together. Do you all think I should end it before this drags on for too long? Or maybe I should weather the storm until I can get a definite position?[/QUOTE] How long have you guys been seeing each other? I had problems in my last relationship (RIP) until like 3-5 months in (don't really remember at this point) due to ex-based trauma, on both sides.

[QUOTE=Gentleman Cat;50591885]What are people's stance of long-distance relationships in this thread? For nearly a year I've been dating a girl online, and the 19th (or 18th because my time was skipped a day forward) of July marks our first anniversary.[/QUOTE] Sort of late reply, but do you have any tips? My girlfriend is moving to the States to college in 2 weeks and we've already decided to at least try a long distance relationship.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50563916]So my ex texted me today and for my surprise I just feel pissed off. I had removed her number at least a month after we broke up and formatted my phone a couple of times so I did lost her number for good and removed her from facebook. I completely cut off with that poisonous snake and I've been knowing peace ever since. But we all know how toxic people and sociopaths work. They keep bouncing back testing the waters. And that's what she did today. So I received one of those automated text messages you can send people when you're out of credit on your phone and you want them to call you. The number looked oddly familiar, and I suspected for a while that it was my ex. However I thought she had no business wanting me to call her so I called the number to know who it was, since I lost a bunch of contacts during my phone formatting. I hung up after two beeps because I was afraid it could be her, so I texted the number. And the conversation went as follows: Why am I telling you about this? Well, first I needed to write this down, vent. Second, the moment I knew it was her, I started shaking, like I was talking to someone who abused me (and she did). I know it looks like I kept my cool on that exchange, but for my surprise, I started shaking, and my heart started pounding in anger. I just wanted out. And that bitch had just entered in my space away from her to try and see if she could seduce me into falling in her trap of attention. I feel angry that this has happened and that I let her in. I know she's gonna keep doing this in the future. Anyway, just wanted to vent. I think that I'm angry because I've suffered so much after this breakup and I worked really hard to rebuild my confidence and build a life away from her. I completely banned her and everything that had to do with her from my life. Let's say, I created this protecting bubble away from her and I built in my subconscious so I could be safe from her. This message exchange... it represents me letting her in, me falling for a trick, a clickbait and imprudently letting her in, and that "bubble" popped.[/QUOTE] Holy friggen heck, what a bad person.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50592490]I only really expect someone who has the same personal hygiene as me. Well I'm not really much of a looker, [url]http://i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag90/TheRoboChimp/Mebeard_zps6c5f2bab.jpg[/url] I'm using that site Pascall suggested: okcupid.com , which probably has a few more matches than tinder.[/QUOTE] I don't usually post in here and this is a few days old, but I know what it's like to not be a big fan of oneself and figured I'd chime in for the hell of it. You're an attractive dude, you've got nothing to worry about. If you can learn the whole self-love thing (which admittedly is hard as hell, I struggled with it myself for yeeaars), I think you'd be surprised how attractive you are. Not to sound weird about it, it just really is crazy what that kind of a transformation can do to you. I went from looking like [url=https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/17239680/Me/28112_390250617085_6044100_n.jpg]this[/url] to [url=https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/17239680/Me/11012193_10153658814027086_4783456038801699774_n_censored.jpg]this[/url]. The only real change is that I changed the way I valued myself and my own potential. Once I cared more, I starting paying attention to the ways I could improve myself, and over time I did. Turns out, the easiest way to [I]not[/I] be able to do something is to tell yourself you can't and/or not believe you can. In a lot of cases, just putting yourself out there and carrying yourself confidently can be all it takes for things to get better in life in general, not just relationships.

[QUOTE='[LOA] SonofBrim;50619524']I don't usually post in here and this is a few days old, but I know what it's like to not be a big fan of oneself and figured I'd chime in for the hell of it. You're an attractive dude, you've got nothing to worry about. If you can learn the whole self-love thing (which admittedly is hard as hell, I struggled with it myself for yeeaars), I think you'd be surprised how attractive you are. Not to sound weird about it, it just really is crazy what that kind of a transformation can do to you. I went from looking like [url=https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/17239680/Me/28112_390250617085_6044100_n.jpg]this[/url] to [url=https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/17239680/Me/11012193_10153658814027086_4783456038801699774_n_censored.jpg]this[/url]. The only real change is that I changed the way I valued myself and my own potential. Once I cared more, I starting paying attention to the ways I could improve myself, and over time I did. Turns out, the easiest way to [I]not[/I] be able to do something is to tell yourself you can't and/or not believe you can. In a lot of cases, just putting yourself out there and carrying yourself confidently can be all it takes for things to get better in life in general, not just relationships.[/QUOTE] Wowsers, you even use your real face as your avatar. That's almost unheard of around here. You're right though - he is pretty attractive. For someone like that, how one carries oneself and dressing like you care makes all the difference.

I have a potentially weird social [media] situation that I'm not quite sure how to navigate. (names are faked, actually I have at least two friends I find myself in this situation with) A little backstory: After I graduated high school my family moved away from the city where I grew up. Not too far, about an hour or two away, but far enough that I only visited friends a few times a year and most relationships fell by the wayside (more so than they would have, anyways). Now that I've graduated from college and have a job, I'm moving again to a place much closer to where I grew up and am thinking of reconnecting with a few friends. One such friend is my buddy "Kenny". Kenny and I went to middle school together, and kept in touch through high school and the first year of college. But Kenny doesn't have a social media profile (Facebook, LinkedIn, etc) and I don't have an email address, phone number, or other way to contact him. However! Kenny was good friends with "George" in middle and high school, and George is on Facebook (and posted a picture with him and Kenny a few months back). Now, George and I weren't really friends, although we were in the same social circles in middle school and I saw him sometimes when we both were hanging out with Kenny. I didn't dislike him, I just never really got to know him; I'm not interested in reconnecting with George, just Kenny. I'm not friends with George on Facebook, I am friends with him on Steam but never chat or play with him. My dilemma is - would it be rude to reach out to George to ask him if he can connect me to Kenny? or if that sort of message would be okay, how should I tactfully tell George that I want to reconnect with Kenny without implying I'd like to hang out with him as well?

[QUOTE=Corndog Ninja;50628510]I have a potentially weird social [media] situation that I'm not quite sure how to navigate. (names are faked, actually I have at least two friends I find myself in this situation with) A little backstory: After I graduated high school my family moved away from the city where I grew up. Not too far, about an hour or two away, but far enough that I only visited friends a few times a year and most relationships fell by the wayside (more so than they would have, anyways). Now that I've graduated from college and have a job, I'm moving again to a place much closer to where I grew up and am thinking of reconnecting with a few friends. One such friend is my buddy "Kenny". Kenny and I went to middle school together, and kept in touch through high school and the first year of college. But Kenny doesn't have a social media profile (Facebook, LinkedIn, etc) and I don't have an email address, phone number, or other way to contact him. However! Kenny was good friends with "George" in middle and high school, and George is on Facebook (and posted a picture with him and Kenny a few months back). Now, George and I weren't really friends, although we were in the same social circles in middle school and I saw him sometimes when we both were hanging out with Kenny. I didn't dislike him, I just never really got to know him; I'm not interested in reconnecting with George, just Kenny. I'm not friends with George on Facebook, I am friends with him on Steam but never chat or play with him. My dilemma is - would it be rude to reach out to George to ask him if he can connect me to Kenny? or if that sort of message would be okay, how should I tactfully tell George that I want to reconnect with Kenny without implying I'd like to hang out with him as well?[/QUOTE] "hey do you still have kenny's number/e-mail/whatever", nothing awkward or rude about that

Tell me something: What is the reason exactly that you can't hang out with the other guy? I mean sure you never really talked to him before but I don't think it would be awkward for you to also develop some sort of relationship even if it's something more casual. I mean it never hurts to have more friends.

Hey people of FP, I was just wondering how do you guys tackle loneliness? I have a bunch of good mates who have been especially brilliant with me the past month or so. I guess I just miss companionship, my previous relationship was long term/serious, and it was fairly long. Any advice on how to tackle this is much appreciated! Cheers x

So I recently met a girl that apparently browses Facepunch. Fuck.

[QUOTE=Monkah;50632298]So I recently met a girl that apparently browses Facepunch. Fuck.[/QUOTE] well shit man good luck [sp]and keep this thread a secret[/sp] [QUOTE=GisG56;50632279]Hey people of FP, I was just wondering how do you guys tackle loneliness? I have a bunch of good mates who have been especially brilliant with me the past month or so since I had a bad breakup. I guess I just miss companionship, the relationship was long term/serious, and it was fairly long. Any advice on how to tackle this is much appreciated! Cheers x[/QUOTE] As someone who cant stand being isolated from friends for a certain amount of time, just remember that there are other people just like you who are alone and are either in your situation or occupying themselves with something they like doing. Watch youtube, do a hobby, and if you dont have a hobby, find one and make it. occupying yourself in other things helps. Also remember that even though you may be alone, you are also surrounded by people as well in general

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;50632501] As someone who cant stand being isolated from friends for a certain amount of time, just remember that there are other people just like you who are alone and are either in your situation or occupying themselves with something they like doing. Watch youtube, do a hobby, and if you dont have a hobby, find one and make it. occupying yourself in other things helps. Also remember that even though you may be alone, you are also surrounded by people as well in general[/QUOTE] Thank you for your understanding, and advice. I have got a few new hobbies, as well as old ones, and I have a lot of voluntary work. That's a very true fact, I will bare that in mind. I guess I have my whole life ahead of me anyways. I posted this pretty late at night tbh, so was most likely over analysing - I'll be okay, it just takes time annoyingly. Thanks again for your help. :)

So a while ago I took the time to actually put some thought into my dating profile on okcupid and I'm getting a few views/likes here and there every week or so. My biggest issue right now is I really want to date people but I have no idea how to break the ice when chatting with them for the first time. Should I outright just ask if they'd like to meet over a cup of coffee? In my experience nothing ever comes out of just trying to know the other person over chat first.

[QUOTE=StrawberryClock;50634805]So a while ago I took the time to actually put some thought into my dating profile on okcupid and I'm getting a few views/likes here and there every week or so. My biggest issue right now is I really want to date people but I have no idea how to break the ice when chatting with them for the first time. Should I outright just ask if they'd like to meet over a cup of coffee? In my experience nothing ever comes out of just trying to know the other person over chat first.[/QUOTE] you will have a much better time if she is equally as interested in talking to you as you are to her. smalltalk and conversation should flow naturally and not feel forced. Keep this in mind

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;50634873]you will have a much better time if she is equally as interested in talking to you as you are to her. smalltalk and conversation should flow naturally and not feel forced. Keep this in mind[/QUOTE] Yeah, guess nobody's been interested in me so far then.

[QUOTE=StrawberryClock;50634895]Yeah, guess nobody's been interested in me so far then.[/QUOTE] To be fair, just because you guys don't immediately have a magical connection doesn't mean there's nothing there. The principle of sourcegamer's point is true, but sometimes it takes a little effort to get past the awkward smalltalk phase. Ask them questions, learn a little about the other person and ask them to coffee if things seem to click. Don't take yourself out of the running just because you guys aren't staying up until 1am talking about your childhoods.

What is everyone's thoughts on sharing food/drinks? Like using the same straw or fork? Friend of a few years started doing this with me recently and I'm trying not to read into it too much but I'd like others' opinions.

[QUOTE=RIPBILLYMAYS;50637354]What is everyone's thoughts on sharing food/drinks? Like using the same straw or fork? Friend of a few years started doing this with me recently and I'm trying not to read into it too much but I'd like others' opinions.[/QUOTE] It's a thing that friends do

I almost forgot how much I hated dating. Chat up a girl through texts for a few days, meet up for coffee for a couple hours, and end with some decent face-sucking. And then I never hear from her again. Do you think people would still go for a make-out session with someone they didn't really like just because they initiated or just to get the date over with? I'm terrible at reading people and feel like something must've gone wrong. It wouldn't annoy me so much if I could date multiple people at the same time like others do. But I can't keep up with what conversations I've had to who across multiple people I'm into so it's basically not an option. This has really made me appreciate the stable relationship I used to have. I feel like I definitely won't take the next one for granted.

Wall incoming I've made it a point to be honest with everyone about my intentions. I find it difficult being honest with people I disagree with, unless I'm fairly close to them. Seemingly random, I know, but it's important context for my life, and this mini-story. A gal that really had a large impact on my life decided to re-add me on social media and we started talking. Small stuff, nothing too serious or anything. As I'm sure you could guess, this was very, very confusing for me, and my anxiety from that period of my life came rushing back. I decided to write out my thoughts about everything that happened between us way back when. How I felt, how she had affected me. While writing it, my anxiety was so overwhelming that my heart felt as if it was about to burst forth from my chest. However, I managed to get it all down and sent it off to her. I immediately went and exercised because hot damn I had a lot of nervous energy. Best workout of my life, too. Her response was pretty typical, I guess. She apologized, stated regret for what happened, and we continued to mend from there. However, she never gave me a clear answer for why she suddenly added me again. So that's a knot I need to untie. Regardless of that, my anxiety lifted and is gone for the most part. I feel as if a chapter of my life is about to end. I've been stuck in that period of my life in a lot of ways ever since it happened, and when I finally meet her in person and re-assess who she is and how we get along now, I'll finally be able to move on. With or without her. Regardless of what happens between the two of us, I can rest happy knowing that I maintained honesty with her. And for me, that's relief enough. /wall

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;50646955]I almost forgot how much I hated dating. Chat up a girl through texts for a few days, meet up for coffee for a couple hours, and end with some decent face-sucking. And then I never hear from her again. Do you think people would still go for a make-out session with someone they didn't really like just because they initiated or just to get the date over with? I'm terrible at reading people and feel like something must've gone wrong. It wouldn't annoy me so much if I could date multiple people at the same time like others do. But I can't keep up with what conversations I've had to who across multiple people I'm into so it's basically not an option. This has really made me appreciate the stable relationship I used to have. I feel like I definitely won't take the next one for granted.[/QUOTE] In the same boat. However, a lot of people need the whole "date experience" where you go out, hang out, and kiss at the end. Afterwords, they may decide it wasn't for them, or that they have another date lined up and want to see what they really want more.

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;50646955]I almost forgot how much I hated dating. Chat up a girl through texts for a few days, meet up for coffee for a couple hours, and end with some decent face-sucking. And then I never hear from her again. Do you think people would still go for a make-out session with someone they didn't really like just because they initiated or just to get the date over with? I'm terrible at reading people and feel like something must've gone wrong. It wouldn't annoy me so much if I could date multiple people at the same time like others do. But I can't keep up with what conversations I've had to who across multiple people I'm into so it's basically not an option. This has really made me appreciate the stable relationship I used to have. I feel like I definitely won't take the next one for granted.[/QUOTE] And today my ex randomly decides to tell me today that the she was actually into the guy she started sleeping with a day after we broke up through the entirety of our 3 year relationship. I don't know if I necessarily believe that, but either way, I thought I was over her and she just undid everything. Definitely at the lowest point of my life so far.

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;50650968]And today my ex randomly decides to tell me today that the she was actually into the guy she started sleeping with a day after we broke up through the entirety of our 3 year relationship. I don't know if I necessarily believe that, but either way, I thought I was over her and she just undid everything. Definitely at the lowest point of my life so far.[/QUOTE] Wants attention, don't fall for it, 100% never talk to her again.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50651048]If she was really into him for 3 years, she wouldn't of been with you for 3 years. Sounds like she's just trying to upset you. Don't let her succeed![/QUOTE] Thanks. You're probably right. I'm trying to just keep looking at the point of view that I dodged a bullet when we broke up. I was almost married to this girl. She wanted to get married right away to me and I wanted to wait a little bit and it's part of the reason we broke it off. [editline]5th July 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Glitchman;50651066]Wants attention, don't fall for it, 100% never talk to her again.[/QUOTE] Definitely. I'm just blocking the number for good.

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;50650968]And today my ex randomly decides to tell me today that the she was actually into the guy she started sleeping with a day after we broke up through the entirety of our 3 year relationship. I don't know if I necessarily believe that, but either way, I thought I was over her and she just undid everything. Definitely at the lowest point of my life so far.[/QUOTE] If she went out of her way to tell you that, it sounds like she was trying to convince herself of it, too. She might really believe this (or want to), but I'm sure you can remember plenty of times when you were together when she expressed genuine emotions toward you.

One thing I think that everyone should do when it comes to relationships and feelings in general is to be honest. I met that girl I asked out a while ago (she told me she doesn't want to get in a relationship because she'll be moving to a city ~300km away because of college) yesterday and guess what. She didn't move to that city and is going to choose a college in my city and she got into a relationship. I get that things can change quickly and everything but I'm pretty sure she just lied to me in order to avoid an awkward rejection. Not to mention her ignoring me when I said hi or waved to say hi while we were still in school together. It really feels like I just don't have luck with girls in general.

I've been thinking lately that I need to pretty much sever contact with my best friend. We haven't even been hanging out for a year yet, really, but here's how our relationship has gone. We became amazing friends really quickly, we had amazing chemistry, our senses of humor matched really well, and she turned out to be a really caring and sensitive person to me. After 2-3 months we started having sex occasionally. And I think the big mistake here is that we both just kind of let it happen but never addressed it in any way for a long time, just kept it hidden and tried to pretend it didn't happen, because (guess what) we also work together. Well, a couple months ago, she got a boyfriend. And the sex stopped, of course. But one day she asked me why I didn't seem too keen on meeting the guy, and why I always seem to act weird when she suggests that the three of us hang out. So I told her the truth, I think it would make me feel really weird to spend time with this guy, knowing the history I have with his girlfriend. We ended up talking about this stuff for pretty much the entire day, and it came to light that she feels deeply ashamed and regretful of all the times we've had sex, she wishes it had never happened (ALL the times it happened) and (in her words) she was just using me. At first I felt really good just that we had gotten everything out in the air and talked about everything... But the last few weeks, I've just been feeling worse and worse about what she told me, about how it all meant nothing to her and that sex with me actually made her feel so awful about herself. It's really doing a number on my self esteem. I haven't talked to her at all for over two weeks now, the longest we've ever gone without any kind of contact. And I think I need to make it a point this week to formally tell her what I've been feeling and thinking. It sucks to do, because she really is my best friend (maybe the best I've ever had) but now so many of my good memories with her are kind of tainted, and I think I need to either stop talking to her or just spend a long time away from her for the sake of my own mental health. Does it sound like I'm doing the right thing? I'm still pretty uncertain about all this business.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;50652490]I've been thinking lately that I need to pretty much sever contact with my best friend. We haven't even been hanging out for a year yet, really, but here's how our relationship has gone. We became amazing friends really quickly, we had amazing chemistry, our senses of humor matched really well, and she turned out to be a really caring and sensitive person to me. After 2-3 months we started having sex occasionally. And I think the big mistake here is that we both just kind of let it happen but never addressed it in any way for a long time, just kept it hidden and tried to pretend it didn't happen, because (guess what) we also work together. Well, a couple months ago, she got a boyfriend. And the sex stopped, of course. But one day she asked me why I didn't seem too keen on meeting the guy, and why I always seem to act weird when she suggests that the three of us hang out. So I told her the truth, I think it would make me feel really weird to spend time with this guy, knowing the history I have with his girlfriend. We ended up talking about this stuff for pretty much the entire day, and it came to light that she feels deeply ashamed and regretful of all the times we've had sex, she wishes it had never happened (ALL the times it happened) and (in her words) she was just using me. At first I felt really good just that we had gotten everything out in the air and talked about everything... But the last few weeks, I've just been feeling worse and worse about what she told me, about how it all meant nothing to her and that sex with me actually made her feel so awful about herself. It's really doing a number on my self esteem. I haven't talked to her at all for over two weeks now, the longest we've ever gone without any kind of contact. And I think I need to make it a point this week to formally tell her what I've been feeling and thinking. It sucks to do, because she really is my best friend (maybe the best I've ever had) but now so many of my good memories with her are kind of tainted, and I think I need to either stop talking to her or just spend a long time away from her for the sake of my own mental health. Does it sound like I'm doing the right thing? I'm still pretty uncertain about all this business.[/QUOTE] I think you're dealing with it the most reasonable and healthy way.