Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

As much as i hate to post this let alone think about this and bring it to light, i have through careful examination, self-assessment and past contemplation of inter-personal experiences, believe that my best friend is manipulative. It makes me sick even thinking about it, but ive always been having bad feelings about this. They all started last year and ive had this horrible suspicion just keep growing in the back of my mind for a while now. I will make a bigger post with details about him at a later time so people can truly give their opinions on whether i am just deluded, or not.

Just started dating again, had a wonderful tinder date last night that ended with a small make out session in the car. The only issue is myself, I keep worrying she didn't have a good time and I won't see her again.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50669322]No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws, and she is no exception.[/QUOTE] I know, but the good things seem to outweigh the bad things. It's also the only way for me to forget about someone. Look at the negative things, even if they're little...

I feel bad about not being friends with my ex who doesn't have anyone to be friends with, but it's way too soon to even touch on that. I'm trying to get over it and put my best foot forward, but I can't right now. I'm glad I have fam, family, and some self confidence to support me through my loneliness right now, but she doesn't. So I feel for her. It was her choice to be friends instead, and I really want to be friends again. Just not right away. Is that fair? She started venting to me last night over text about things and I gave her advice, and she said she felt like I was the only guy she dated who helped her without asking anything in return. I didn't know how to respond. She might have been drunk. I don't know what I'm doing.

[QUOTE=blacksam;50677095]I feel bad about not being friends with my ex who doesn't have anyone to be friends with, but it's way too soon to even touch on that. I'm trying to get over it and put my best foot forward, but I can't right now. I'm glad I have fam, family, and some self confidence to support me through my loneliness right now, but she doesn't. So I feel for her. It was her choice to be friends instead, and I really want to be friends again. Just not right away. Is that fair? She started venting to me last night over text about things and I gave her advice, and she said she felt like I was the only guy she dated who helped her without asking anything in return. I didn't know how to respond. She might have been drunk. I don't know what I'm doing.[/QUOTE] Man, letting her do things in her own pace is the best thing you can do for her - definitely don't feel bad about not rushing to her if she doesn't feel she's ready for it just yet.

[QUOTE=Glitchman;50673086]Just started dating again, had a wonderful tinder date last night that ended with a small make out session in the car. The only issue is myself, I keep worrying she didn't have a good time and I won't see her again.[/QUOTE] Same problem for me. No matter how well I think a date went at the time, I start overthinking the shit out of how I possibly scared her away or whatever and dwelling on stuff I think I did wrong.

[QUOTE=Rocâ„¢;50667997] In short: we just fooled around, and [B]we could have had something[/B], if I wasn't an idiot and had realized she was perfect, but now, that ship has sailed, and theres nothing I can do about it other than being friends. It has nothing to do with "oh she owes me a relationship". It's just ye olde me... Not realizing what he has...[/QUOTE] No you couldn't. Not even in any parallel universe. Not even if you went back in time a million times. Because you keep pushing back your feelings of discomfort towards how this person made you feel and turn them into some stage of self-commiseration: "oh god, I ruined this", "oh god if I've done something and put my feelings aside we could have had a real relationship", "it's my fault, it's my fault", It's not, ok? You're just lonely and you seem like you're going all in on this girl that doesn't really like you that much. Reading through your entire story, one can easily conclude she never wanted anything too serious with you to begin with. She was also lonely and unsure. And people tend to have sex and look for a little significant company with people who are near. That doesn't necessarily mean there's a shot at a serious relationship. Also, you seem to blame yourself a lot for making mistakes. Let me tell you something from personal experience. You have no idea what it's like to be with someone that really admires, respects and loves you, and that's why you settled for this one in particular. She's the best you got so far. We all can understand that. But let me tell you, from someone who's been through worse in relationships and stubbornly tried as hard as I could in similar situations until recently finding someone who loves me. When you find the right girl, it won't matter if you fuck up, cause she'll give you a chance.

I'm gonna let you in on a secret for those going after love. You'll know for certain that it's real love when the music becomes completely understable. Of course this is coming from the guy who says music is my best friend until the very end.

In my opinion, a lot of popular music doesn't really represent a healthy concept of love.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;50691787]In my opinion, a lot of popular music doesn't really represent a healthy concept of love.[/QUOTE] None the mainstream stuff, go look at some pink floyd, foo fighters, or maybe even tool. For tool it's lateralus for self love and 10,000 days for the other. If you want psychotic love the doors and nirvana are good for that.

It isn't at all like in the movies, let me tell you that. :v: I mean, sure the "chase" can get pretty creative and you can do crazy stuff to spice things up. But most of the time is worrying about mundane everyday shit. "what are we gonna eat today", "did we pay X" I feel like my parents, really.

[QUOTE=DELL;50692847]None the mainstream stuff, go look at some pink floyd, foo fighters, or maybe even tool. For tool it's lateralus for self love and 10,000 days for the other. If you want psychotic love the doors and nirvana are good for that.[/QUOTE] It may sound cliché but Lateralus and 10,000 days changed my way of looking at things. And how can it not when you've got songs with lyrics like this: [QUOTE]Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind. Withering my intuition leaving opportunities behind. Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line. Reaching out to embrace the random. Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.[/QUOTE] It's really been a help when it comes to improving myself. I'm not all the way there yet, but I'm getting there. [editline]12th July 2016[/editline] The song in question for anyone who wants to listen. [video=youtube;_tcW-j7KFgY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tcW-j7KFgY[/video]

I really need advice, and it's not about making practical lifestyle choices. I've been deviating and trying out new things. I have a FWB who is married in an open relationship. I don't need advice when it comes to him though. I need advice when it comes to this straight guy who is my age, who I have a decently big crush on. He likes me too. We talked about dating, but being in an uncommitted open relationship. He's really not wanting to fool around with me, so it makes this especially difficult because I'm sexually attracted to him. I don't have problems with anything when I'm not horny. But when I'm cuddling with him, and super horny, it gets difficult because I want him to mess around with me so badly. I'm a little concerned about the developing feelings I have for him. He's pretty gay with me, but not super gay, which is difficult in itself. What do I want? Earlier this year I manifested my desires to have a FWB and a semi-romantic uncommitted relationship with a straight guy. I can't say I chased either, they both fell right into my hands. My straight friend liked the idea of being my boyfriend but being allowed to fuck other girls. However, I expressed my concerns that I may get jealous that he won't mess with me. I wouldn't get too bothered if he slept with anyone because I wholy expect it. Anyways, what advice to you guys have? I know this isn't typical. I want to date the straight guy because I have feelings for him, but I don't want to put all of my playing cards in. I told him about the jealous thing and he said we should maybe stay friends, even though "he wouldn't hurt me" ... because he didn't like the idea of making me unjealous by pleasing me too.

What exactly is he looking for out of this? You said he isn't interested in you sexually, but wants to be your boyfriend - what exactly does that leave?

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50695022]What exactly is he looking for out of this? You said he isn't interested in you sexually, but wants to be your boyfriend - what exactly does that leave?[/QUOTE] I'm going to ask him that. Thanks for bringing it up. I think he just wants the connection we have. Because I want it too.

I have trouble being confident around women after several really bad relationships, which I think is making dating a lot harder. I'm 29 and I can't seem to maintain a relationship for more than a few months. I'm at the point where I'm looking for something a little long term, but i have no idea how to go about it. I have a good job, healthy, ect... it's just that women don't seem interested in getting to know me. They ask about my friends or find someone else. I've tried the online stuff, and never get any matches or whatever and if I do it lasts about a day until it fizzles off. I'm not impatient, but I definitely what I want now after all the shit I've been through

Wanting to settle down before you've even met someone might put some people off. If you have a very narrow expectation of how your next relationship is going to go, it might intimidate people. It might be better to take a break from dating if you've been at it for a while and try to focus on yourself - if getting in a relationship is your #1 priority right now and you're uncomfortable being single, it will show. Can't offer much else. Just don't treat people as a means to an end - just because you don't end up in a relationship with someone you went out with doesn't mean it was a waste of time.

When is it acceptable to get a girl flowers? Would it be weird to just show up with them as a surprise? I know she likes them so that's not an issue

I feel like a complete piece of shit. I broke up with my girlfriend of two month, whom I took her virginity. She was always nice and sweet to me, if a bit childish and naive. We got along fine but for some reason I felt trapped and always had to almost perform for her at times. I broke up with her last night and it killed me to see her cry like that, and see her scream and cry and tell me she loves me(she never said it before, but I knew if I would have said it she would have). It was nothing she did and I truly do wish the best for her and part of me wants her back. She lives about two hours away and thats part of why I broke up with her, that and our schedules will be so busy it would be very hard for us to find time. She would stay at my house and sometimes I found myself just wishing she would go home because I always felt the need to take her out and entertain her. I felt that I didnt give her enough attention and should have treated her better and she didnt deserve someone like me. Im writing this because I dont know what to tell her. She thinks its something she did, or maybe feels shes not pretty enough or something. I dont want her to feel depressed or insecure or the need to drink and sloot around(Shes 18, very innocent and naive and was a virgin, Im 21). She cried for hours before her friends picked her up and I tried my best to comfort her. I dropped a bomb and her and dont know how to make it right.

[QUOTE=Bleach Qeef;50700720]I feel like a complete piece of shit. I broke up with my girlfriend of two month, whom I took her virginity. She was always nice and sweet to me, if a bit childish and naive. We got along fine but for some reason I felt trapped and always had to almost perform for her at times. I broke up with her last night and it killed me to see her cry like that, and see her scream and cry and tell me she loves me(she never said it before, but I knew if I would have said it she would have). It was nothing she did and I truly do wish the best for her and part of me wants her back. She lives about two hours away and thats part of why I broke up with her, that and our schedules will be so busy it would be very hard for us to find time. She would stay at my house and sometimes I found myself just wishing she would go home because I always felt the need to take her out and entertain her. I felt that I didnt give her enough attention and should have treated her better and she didnt deserve someone like me. Im writing this because I dont know what to tell her. She thinks its something she did, or maybe feels shes not pretty enough or something. I dont want her to feel depressed or insecure or the need to drink and sloot around(Shes 18, very innocent and naive and was a virgin, Im 21). She cried for hours before her friends picked her up and I tried my best to comfort her. I dropped a bomb and her and dont know how to make it right.[/QUOTE] i feel like if you still love her and all, to continue dating her despite the distance and time two hours really isn't that far, and tbh schedules will always be busy, so while you think you weren't giving her enough attention, she probably felt that just being with you was enough, unless you truly don't have any feelings towards her anymore then don't worry about it

It's not your job to "make it right". You don't owe her a relationship and her feelings toward your breakup are not your responsibility. Your reasons for wanting to break up are completely legitimate - if she seems to have a hard time understanding your reasoning it's only because being broken up with is a hard thing to accept.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50702081]Ive always found flowers weird. I feel like people only like them because theyre told theyre suppose to like them. I would go with chocolate, at least you can eat chocolate. How long have you known her and what is her relationship to you?[/QUOTE] Known her for around a year, been my girlfriend for a couple of months.

Flowers are always cool for your girlfriend. Just don't go like overboard. Less is more, tbh.

one valentine's day I bought by gf at the time 36 roses as it was our 3rd valentines

Fuck I admitted to her over facebook chat while drunk I had feelings for her fuck what have i done ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [editline]15th July 2016[/editline] super fuck

Thats not what you want brah.

I don't think I can talk anymore. At least not at me. I can dispense information through my mouth, sort of. It doesn't always come out right and it takes me at least one try, but I don't think I can properly talk anymore.

I feel like I'm the ugly friend out of anyone who I am with at all Girls just stay away from me and go for my friends I am very, very close to topping myself but not just for this reason Edit: ban me if you want if it's against the rules to post this kind of stuff

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50726535]Are you sure they can't see your insecurities? A lot of people make them very visible, and no one likes to deal with them. Relationships are more personality than looks, unless you look like a literal swamp hag, because that would show you have a gross personality because you live in the swamp away from society. I think that's also why bigger people tend to be unattractive, because people will infer things about their personality. Usually gross, lazy, etc.[/QUOTE] i think they're pretty visible that's probably why they stay away really I'm not too large I'm pretty built but i have this condition pectus excavatum which makes my chest look really weird lol

[QUOTE=based;50727710]i think they're pretty visible that's probably why they stay away really I'm not too large I'm pretty built but i have this condition pectus excavatum which makes my chest look really weird lol[/QUOTE] man you just gotta act like youre not bothered. its all about confidence