Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Hilton;50727939]man you just gotta act like youre not bothered. its all about confidence[/QUOTE] i dont think i even come across as insecure really i dont try and hide it that much to be honest so im not sure that's the problem

[QUOTE=based;50727710]i think they're pretty visible that's probably why they stay away really I'm not too large I'm pretty built but i have this condition pectus excavatum which makes my chest look really weird lol[/QUOTE] Nobody really cares dude. Steve Reeves had pectus and you don't see anyone disagreeing about him being aesthetic as fuck. [img]http://www.evolutionofbodybuilding.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/steve-reeves.jpg[/img]

Man My dating life got so much easier once I learned to feign confidence, which gave way to actual confidence and a healthily inflated ego

Not sure if this is the right thread but i thought i'd ask for some advice. Wall of text ahead: Okay, so a few weeks ago, a new girl have arrived at work. I instantly developed a small crush on her that's been increasing. We started hugging when we say goodbye to each other (though she seems to do this to others as well) and she always asks me how i am and start laughing or giggling when i'm near her for no reason. I haven't been with her outside of work yet, (we met in the town once but she was in a hurry) only once but that was just a small get together with people from work where i managed to spend some time talking with her but my friend was there too. That same day before, she asked for my number so we could meet and go there together since she didn't know where it would take place as she is new to the town. However, i still don't know her number because she didn't call me, apparently because she had no money on her phone, but she could still message others (blame me for not having a smartphone) so i've no idea how this works and neither does she. Anyways, one day i told her i was bored and asked her if she wanted to do something after work, as nobody else was up for anything. Well, she told me she had plans already with this guy she knows and who lives in her same flat, plus they are both polish and i'm not. She also said they sometimes watch movies together and go to the beach etc... When i heard this, i was really dissapointed and felt like crap, but apparently he isn't her boyfriend, as i heard her say this before, but i was also told by my friend that they sleep together but don't have sex? I'm really not sure what is going on between them. After this, i thought i wouldn't bother with her anymore, just treated her as a friend like i treat everyone else at work. However, a few days ago at work i went up near her to pick up something, and she was talking to someone else. She randomly said my name, so i asked her what's up, and she told me how glad she was to have met me, while giggling and asked if i had facebook. I told her i do but i haven't used it in a long time and nothing was really said afterwards. She still keeps doing these things when i'm near her like giggling and stuff, and even randomly ruffled (idk if that's the right word) my hair as we walked past each other. Few days later, she sat down in front of me when we had our dinner at work and i asked her name so that i could add her on Facebook. I'm planning to add her but i haven't used my facebook account in years and i've been receiving fishy emails, notifications and such from random spanish people, and my name changed to "Kevin" and after i changed my password it required identification, but it couldn't identify me so i might have to create a new account. I really don't know what's going on now, is she interested in me, or just as friends? I'm not sure, she seems to do these things to other people at work as well, but i really can't tell. I don't meet her that much only during evenings, and lately we've been finishing at different times as well. I might try to ask her out again or something. Should i ask her if she likes me, or ask about her friend and what's going on between them? I'm really not experienced in this, and i will only be working here until the end of August.

[QUOTE=Adarrek;50731467]Story ,[/QUOTE] Seeing the fact that you only met her a few weeks ago, i'd give it more time, usually its hard figuring out if she likes you without dropping insane amount of hints that could be misleading. Of course, a common mistake is that sometimes we see kindness as attraction, so you need to think if either she likes you or just being nice. My advice? Keep around her and get to know her better. Dont rush it and just play it cool. Also try not to get attached TOO MUCH to her and start imaging your life together otherwise you'll just make it harder on yourself.

Be mates with her first. Don't get concerned about other males in her life, or you'll put her off. It's her life, not yours! [editline]18th July 2016[/editline] being too forward is also a huge turn off, but so is being lenient about it, you just have to find the balance

Thanks. Yeah i guess i'll try that. Now that i have her on facebook i guess i can talk more with her outside of work as well.

Nevermind

Anyone have tips or advice on how to change one's chemistry in order to become less infatuated with a person? I have been working on it. And I think I'm actually getting somewhere. Crushed hella hard on my straight friend, who is affectionate towards me, we hold eachother <3 But I obviously can't fuck him or date him, so I've been shifting my emotions to be less infatuated and lovey dovey towards him into more of a platonic friendship that is still affectionate.

[QUOTE=ScoobyV2;50739172]Anyone have tips or advice on how to change one's chemistry in order to become less infatuated with a person? I have been working on it. And I think I'm actually getting somewhere. Crushed hella hard on my straight friend, who is affectionate towards me, we hold eachother <3 But I obviously can't fuck him or date him, so I've been shifting my emotions to be less infatuated and lovey dovey towards him into more of a platonic friendship that is still affectionate.[/QUOTE] You can change the thoughts, which doesn't work the best at least for me.

It is not just chemistry, it is neural circuitry as well. Find somebody else. Think about somebody else, even if you don't cut ties with your current crush. Give it time. I can empathice, and probably most people around will as well.

[QUOTE=ScoobyV2;50739172]Anyone have tips or advice on how to change one's chemistry in order to become less infatuated with a person? I have been working on it. And I think I'm actually getting somewhere. Crushed hella hard on my straight friend, who is affectionate towards me, we hold eachother <3 But I obviously can't fuck him or date him, so I've been shifting my emotions to be less infatuated and lovey dovey towards him into more of a platonic friendship that is still affectionate.[/QUOTE] Emotions can be like quicksand. The more you try to struggle with them, the more problematic they'll become. Instead of trying to ignore your feelings, just accept they're there and recognize that you can have "unhelpful" feelings without acting on them. It is completely okay to have unreturned feelings for someone, and there's nothing wrong with you taking a while to move on. You can't control your feelings, so focus on what you can control - your behavior.

[QUOTE=Eriorguez;50739476]It is not just chemistry, it is neural circuitry as well.[/QUOTE] Uh, could you elaborate.

So after declining a lot of invitations out to go socialise with old friends i finally accepted one and went off to London to visit and hang out with them. It was awkward, not by my own intention, but because i stated i was nothing like i was 5 years ago when we last met in person and i can assure them that they wont like the new me, turns out they didn't :what: But afterwards on the train back i got talking to someone on the train after they asked about my tattoos and i struck up a nice conversation and they asked if i wanted to hang out sometime so i remain optimistic about that.

[QUOTE=ScoobyV2;50739172]Anyone have tips or advice on how to change one's chemistry in order to become less infatuated with a person? I have been working on it. And I think I'm actually getting somewhere. Crushed hella hard on my straight friend, who is affectionate towards me, we hold eachother <3 But I obviously can't fuck him or date him, so I've been shifting my emotions to be less infatuated and lovey dovey towards him into more of a platonic friendship that is still affectionate.[/QUOTE] why can't you fuck him or date him? the phrase "we hold eachother <3" makes me think you guys cuddle which, generally, isn't something that straight men are known to do to each other. can't hurt to ask. worst case scenario, he's like "oh no thank you i enjoy vaginas" in which case you know it will never happen so you can deal with it. best case scenario, I don't think I need to explain. [QUOTE=DELL;50739257]You can change the thoughts, which doesn't work the best at least for me.[/QUOTE] what kind of david blaine voodoo bullshit are you doing where you can just will yourself to change your thoughts on command [QUOTE=Eriorguez;50739476]It is not just chemistry, it is neural circuitry as well.[/QUOTE] speaking of david blaine voodoo bullshit the fuck are you talking about get out of here with your crystals and acupuncture

Idk he might still identify as being into women sexually but maybe he's into guys romantically. You never know unless you ask, man. These days, a lot of people are becoming more and more okay with not being 100% straight or 100% gay. Some people are bisexual, some people separate sex and romance, some people aren't into either thing, it's whatever. But everyone's an individual and you don't know their specific likes/dislikes unless you figure it out.

Some people can show romantic intimacy without the presence of sex. [editline]19th July 2016[/editline] Not limited only to people who don't have a sexual attraction to a certain demographic, but also for people who [I]can't[/I] have sex because of illness or disability.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50739862]Idk he might still identify as being into women sexually but maybe he's into guys romantically. You never know unless you ask, man.[/QUOTE] There's certainly nothing wrong with romantic and non-sexual relationships, but based on his last few posts here it doesn't seem like a non-sexual relationship is what he's looking for.

Well yeah, of course, the majority of my point was that he's never gonna know unless he asks. Making assumptions isn't gonna help him.

my ex was bisexual and she said pretty much the same thing. she told me she was romantically attracted to guys but more sexually attracted to women. in addition, she said that she found me ridiculously hot before, during and after our relationship. maybe it's my hair. it came in useful for once. last time I went out a couple of friends I hadn't seen in a while tried to plait it and it didn't end well but I enjoyed it.

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;50739830] speaking of david blaine voodoo bullshit [/QUOTE] Learn some stuff about the brain, constant thoughts will alter the brain circuits, as well as abuse and other things.

[QUOTE=DELL;50740543]Learn some stuff about the brain, constant thoughts will alter the brain circuits, as well as abuse and other things.[/QUOTE] I'm sure he knows that and was mostly calling out the use of random terminology that has no relevance to the conversation in order to sound smart. For future reference, it isn't working.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50740564]I'm sure he knows that and was mostly calling out the use of random terminology that has no relevance to the conversation in order to sound smart. For future reference, it isn't working.[/QUOTE] For future reference I have no idea if he knows that or not. So calling him out makes a whole lot of sense. Good job on your ego stroking though considering it had nothing to do with you.

i thought people from canada were supposed to be nice

[QUOTE=DELL;50740787]For future reference I have no idea if he knows that or not. So calling him out makes a whole lot of sense. Good job on your ego stroking though considering it had nothing to do with you.[/QUOTE] They're both asking you to explain what you're saying beyond using words that make no sense with or without context because I can't make heads or tails of what you're saying either. Getting hostile at them for your lack of detail and explanation is dumb. Just be more clear as to what you're talking about, especially when you're trying to give someone advice.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50740879]They're both asking you to explain what you're saying beyond using words that make no sense with or without context because I can't make heads or tails of what you're saying either. Getting hostile at them for your lack of detail and explanation is dumb. Just be more clear as to what you're talking about, especially when you're trying to give someone advice.[/QUOTE] Oh well that I didn't get, though I don't see why instead of saying to sound smart he didn't just ask for proof. Anyways if they are wondering have a read of this [url]https://experiencelife.com/article/emotional-biochemistry/[/url] For more information I ask that you do you're own research as that's the best way to learn.

any time someone tells me to look it up myself i immediately assume they're full of shit that study wasn't accredited and they had a sample size of 25 people so it's not really something you should trust at all [editline]19th July 2016[/editline] and that article's point wasn't even close to the point you were making to begin with

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;50740983]any time someone tells me to look it up myself i immediately assume they're full of shit that study wasn't accredited and they had a sample size of 25 people so it's not really something you should trust at all [editline]19th July 2016[/editline] and that article's point wasn't even close to the point you were making to begin with[/QUOTE] That was the point I was making, and if you assume people are full of shit because they told you to research. That's your problem, only idiots do work for someone else for free. Would you spend hours to prove something if you got nothing out of it?

[QUOTE=DELL;50740900]For more information I ask that you do you're own research as that's the best way to learn.[/QUOTE] You were way too vague in your original posts for us to know what you wanted us to look up. The idea that your thoughts can shape your brain is a well-known premise of psychology - surely that wasn't all you were trying to argue?

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50741069]You were way too vague in your original posts for us to know what you wanted us to look up. The idea that your thoughts can shape your brain is a well-known premise of psychology - surely that wasn't all you were trying to argue?[/QUOTE] That's actually all I was trying to argue. Sorry I have problems communicating ideas with people.