Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

i like girl but also boy

I think I'm starting to dislike my lifetime friend. Let's call him Kent. He is part of a gaming group which consist of almost all my childhood friends, it's hard to say when the group started but I think we've been together for about 6 years. Yesterday three of them were over at my place, including Kent. We started with some football, then a bit smash bros and finally board games for some hours. Too be honest, I didn't have a good time doing any of those. I suck at football, smash is alright, but the board game lasted too long. I feel Kent is way too focused on the game and not the social aspect of it. He is the "rules" kind of guy in our group, he scolds at people for not paying attention to the rules, or if they miss their turn, etc. He is unfunny and I feel I have nothing in common with him anymore. He makes the gaming feel like a chore. Back to yesterday again, It was about midnight and we didn't know what to do next. Kent wanted to play a complete new game, everyone else was too tired for the setup and more game rules (Atleast I was). So we agreed to fuck around with Wii U for the rest of the night, expect Kent. He just left shortly after that, that annoyed me. I invited him over, I did the things HE liked (football, board games) and I made food for him. But once we do something he dislikes, he just leaves. He is the guy who usually don't leave until 4 AM. I told him before he left that I do things I don't always like for the group, and that he should do the same. He didn't respond, he just sat there with his phone until he left. But maybe I should thank him, because I had the most fun that night after Kent left. The rest of us where laughing and joking as we just fucked around with various games. I felt I could finally "lighten up", if that makes sense. I haven't told the other what I feel about Kent, but I don't think I'm the only one who feel this way. I don't want to break the group apart, but I don't want it to continue as it is either.

[QUOTE=code_gs;50987211]Give him an ultimatum and tell him the truth. I did this to my best friend when he I got tired of him constantly lying and making stories up and he changed -- still great friends, although we go to different schools now. I've also ran into the same situation with a girl and I just stopped talking to her; biggest mistake of my life. Fell into a sort of depressed, self-doubting state where I blamed myself for everything. Loose ends are awful and you should always try to find a resolution.[/QUOTE] Now thats the the thing i risk when it comes to this situation. The dude is the only person i can be myself around and i would lose more breaking it off vs trying to keep a burnt out friendship. I have not gave him an ultimatum yet, but he can tell by my behavior that something is off and i am pretty sure he knows i want something to change based on how he is acting now. I will still consider breaking it to him though

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;50999191]Now thats the the thing i risk when it comes to this situation. The dude is the only person i can be myself around and i would lose more breaking it off vs trying to keep a burnt out friendship. I have not gave him an ultimatum yet, but he can tell by my behavior that something is off and i am pretty sure he knows i want something to change based on how he is acting now. I will still consider breaking it to him though[/QUOTE] Give it a little more time if you think he's trying to change on his own, but don't let the situation linger for too long -- it only hurts both parties more.

-snip- Shitty and worthless post from past midnight, I knew making such posts whilst tired as fuck wasn't a good idea...

[QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;50993197]I've known and hung out with the guy since high school. It's tough to explain, I don't necessarily not like the him it's just that he's difficult to hang or party with since he's so timid and seemingly easily frightened or offended by things. Thoa in turn can affect the atmosphere some times. Believe me we've tried getting him drunk before, but he absolutely refuses to have more than one beer.[/QUOTE] If I was in your position I would be a bit harsh and cold especially seeing as your adventuring Europe with this guy.. I can exactly imagine how he is killing your vibe on what is meant to be a life changing experience. Not saying you go overboard but perhaps sit him down after hes had one drink, have a few more in front of you and say it how it is. Tell him straight in your own way, don't make it long be kind of blunt and get it out there. Aim is you want him to have another drink by the time you finished speaking, when he has another one down him you can go from there. One night is all it takes to get someone out of their shell, if your still in Amsterdam then perfect.. If he rejects the truth then whats the worse that can happen, he stops being your "friend"? Cold shit but hey, sometimes you have to experience life for yourself and not for someone who refuses to take note.

Last June, I broke up with my girlfriend of one year for another girl. Now that my ex has removed me on everything and ostensibly gotten over me, I feel like I miss her. It's like, I would've hoped I had made more of an impact on her, but now I'll probably never see her or speak to her again and all of our memories have been erased, I can't help but feel weirdly hollow. What am I experiencing? Will it go away?

[QUOTE=Zethiwag;51001682]Last June, I broke up with my girlfriend of one year for another girl. Now that my ex has removed me on everything and ostensibly gotten over me, I feel like I miss her. It's like, I would've hoped I had made more of an impact on her, but now I'll probably never see her or speak to her again and all of our memories have been erased, I can't help but feel weirdly hollow. What am I experiencing? Will it go away?[/QUOTE] My friend had that hollow regret over a girl who moved away even though they broke up a few months before she did. He told me that for him it was temporary and felt a lot like a "missing" or nostalgia. Life moves on but your brain has trouble doing the same at all times.

Welp, continuing on about my friend and I on our trip, we've traveled to Germany now and I've been doing some thinking, and I'm starting to wonder if perhaps my friend might have Aspergers or some other disorder that makes him act the way he always has. Perhaps it's rude of me to think such a thing about him, but I've been one of his only few close friends for more than 7 years now and given my experiences it only makes sense to me to draw this sort of conclusion. To back myself up, I consider the way he shifts to the edge of his seat when a stranger sits next to him, the way he avoids eye contact, the way he doesn't seem to understand social cues, how he'll often say things at random that are completely awkward, out of place, and/or unrelated to a current conversation, how he goes into detail discussing things that others would consider strange, how he writes page long apologies to people when he thinks he's pissed them off about something that in reality they gave no second thought to, or how stressed he gets when focus is on him in a social setting. Hell even today we visited the Mercedes museum in Stuttgart with a relative of mine, and while we were checking out all the cars, he was busy browsing through the car catalogue and pointing out minuscule printing errors within the little booklet, such as the little white dots he seemed to somehow notice at the very top of a page. Thing is I don't know how to approach him about this, or if I even should for that matter. For all I know he could already even be aware he's got some social disorder and has neglected to disclose it to anyone all these years; or he could in fact just be extremely introverted and thus extremely awkward. I've never faced such a situation like this, so I'm not entirely sure if I'm being stupid right now with this or if it's a genuine thing I should speak to him about. And if I do speak to him about it then I'm worried about offending him because he's also easily offended, even by small things. I'm just concerned for him and I'm hoping I don't come off as a dick for thinking he might have a disorder because of how he acts. Should I approach him about this or should I leave it be and just...I dunno...roll with it? I consider what Royalpain suggested. To be cold and blunt. I could easily do it but I don't wanna break the dude's heart and upset the shit out of him.

I've been seeing this girl every now and then for the past three months. We met each other in class, and started to hit things off pretty well around when summer began. Our first date went great, we kissed at the end, and things seemed like they were looking good. Our second date, we went out for drinks, ended up getting a little too drunk, and ended up having sex at my place. For a while afterward, it didn't seem like anything was wrong, we still texted, she seemed ok with what happened, at least until last night. She came over to my apartment and we smoked up before going out and getting ice cream. I'll preface everything I'm about to say next by noting that we were both really stoned She wanted to go home early, which I at first didn't think much of until she told me that she didn't want what happened last time to happen again right now, which kind of caught me off guard. I walked her to her place, where we said good night before I gave her another kiss. In my stoned stupor, I made the idiot decision of asking her what was going on between us. I only wanted to clarify what she said earlier, but I came off as if I was trying to DTR, to which she said that she had had fun these past few months, but that things had just moved really fast last time. I apologized, but she told me that it wasn't my fault and I had nothing to apologize for, before telling me that she was going up to bed, and asked me "Not to get offended". Now, maybe I just wasn't in the right state to try grappling with this, but I spent a good half hour or so at a park just trying to figure out what she was saying and what I should do. I've been falling hard for this girl, but if she wants to call things off I can deal with that. If she just wants us to take things slower, I'm happy to do that, but right now I'm not sure what she wants and it's driving me up the walls. What should I do? I was up for hours overthinking what happened until I finally sobered up. All I want for now is clarification, but I don't know what I should tell her.

[QUOTE=Hikkotch;50999149]I think I'm starting to dislike my lifetime friend. Let's call him Kent. He is part of a gaming group which consist of almost all my childhood friends, it's hard to say when the group started but I think we've been together for about 6 years. Yesterday three of them were over at my place, including Kent. We started with some football, then a bit smash bros and finally board games for some hours. Too be honest, I didn't have a good time doing any of those. I suck at football, smash is alright, but the board game lasted too long. I feel Kent is way too focused on the game and not the social aspect of it. He is the "rules" kind of guy in our group, he scolds at people for not paying attention to the rules, or if they miss their turn, etc. He is unfunny and I feel I have nothing in common with him anymore. He makes the gaming feel like a chore. Back to yesterday again, It was about midnight and we didn't know what to do next. Kent wanted to play a complete new game, everyone else was too tired for the setup and more game rules (Atleast I was). So we agreed to fuck around with Wii U for the rest of the night, expect Kent. He just left shortly after that, that annoyed me. I invited him over, I did the things HE liked (football, board games) and I made food for him. But once we do something he dislikes, he just leaves. He is the guy who usually don't leave until 4 AM. I told him before he left that I do things I don't always like for the group, and that he should do the same. He didn't respond, he just sat there with his phone until he left. But maybe I should thank him, because I had the most fun that night after Kent left. The rest of us where laughing and joking as we just fucked around with various games. I felt I could finally "lighten up", if that makes sense. I haven't told the other what I feel about Kent, but I don't think I'm the only one who feel this way. I don't want to break the group apart, but I don't want it to continue as it is either.[/QUOTE] Not everyone you meet is supposed to be your friend and not all friends are meant to be forever. In the words of preacher Joel Olsteen, "If you don't get rid of the wrong friends you will never meet the right friends."

[QUOTE=TheBloodyNine;51005029]Not everyone you meet is supposed to be your friend and not all friends are meant to be forever. In the words of preacher Joel Olsteen, "If you don't get rid of the wrong friends you will never meet the right friends."[/QUOTE] same thing happened to me. After the breakup i had strong opinions about love and life i wanted to share, and little by little i started noticing how different me and my friend where in that sense, to the point i would say something and i honestly believed he said the opposite thing just to annoy me. Thats not a good sign. I started hating a lot of him and now i´ve been kinda avoiding him, i think, by now, the best is to keep a distance while i go through this process .

Okay I need a hand, I actually matched with someone on Tinder and I have absolutely no idea what to say to them. Her profile is pretty basic and just says "Who wants to go on hikes and see some cheap bands play cool music?" And she has some pictures of her hiking, one with a raccoon and another with a dog. I've been trying to come up with something interesting to say for hours but I've got nothing. I'm not asking someone else to come up with something necessarily, but how could I think about this differently? I may be overthinking it.

Make sure you tell her you should go and not ask, it shows confidence

[QUOTE=1nfiniteseed;51004248]I've been seeing this girl every now and then for the past three months. We met each other in class, and started to hit things off pretty well around when summer began. Our first date went great, we kissed at the end, and things seemed like they were looking good. Our second date, we went out for drinks, ended up getting a little too drunk, and ended up having sex at my place. For a while afterward, it didn't seem like anything was wrong, we still texted, she seemed ok with what happened, at least until last night. She came over to my apartment and we smoked up before going out and getting ice cream. I'll preface everything I'm about to say next by noting that we were both really stoned She wanted to go home early, which I at first didn't think much of until she told me that she didn't want what happened last time to happen again right now, which kind of caught me off guard. I walked her to her place, where we said good night before I gave her another kiss. In my stoned stupor, I made the idiot decision of asking her what was going on between us. I only wanted to clarify what she said earlier, but I came off as if I was trying to DTR, to which she said that she had had fun these past few months, but that things had just moved really fast last time. I apologized, but she told me that it wasn't my fault and I had nothing to apologize for, before telling me that she was going up to bed, and asked me "Not to get offended". Now, maybe I just wasn't in the right state to try grappling with this, but I spent a good half hour or so at a park just trying to figure out what she was saying and what I should do. I've been falling hard for this girl, but if she wants to call things off I can deal with that. If she just wants us to take things slower, I'm happy to do that, but right now I'm not sure what she wants and it's driving me up the walls. What should I do? I was up for hours overthinking what happened until I finally sobered up. All I want for now is clarification, but I don't know what I should tell her.[/QUOTE] You're ok as long as you don't overthink things too much. It's this simple: she's upset that she got wasted and slept with you too soon, and getting high likely made her anxious, which likely exacerbated her pre-existing feelings. Don't think about what she wants to do because of this. Assuming a bunch of shit right now will not help you. give her time to process and cool off, and do your own thing in the mean-time. Also, don't think about this stuff while stoned. I typically act a lot more emotional when I'm high as opposed to rationally while sober, and whenever my GF and I talk about serious things while I'm high, things usually don't go too smoothly. I also overthink at lightspeed because of my more emotional mindset. I'm not saying never smoke with her or have meaningful conversations with her while high, but try to avoid things that trigger your overthinking mindset and your insecurities.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51007273]Could also come off as controlling or abrasive, you don't want to command people to do something, you want their own feelings to matter too[/QUOTE] Not forceful of course, more like "Let's go hiking!" instead of "You want to go hiking?"

[QUOTE=riku2211;51007223]Okay I need a hand, I actually matched with someone on Tinder and I have absolutely no idea what to say to them. Her profile is pretty basic and just says "Who wants to go on hikes and see some cheap bands play cool music?" And she has some pictures of her hiking, one with a raccoon and another with a dog. I've been trying to come up with something interesting to say for hours but I've got nothing. I'm not asking someone else to come up with something necessarily, but how could I think about this differently? I may be overthinking it.[/QUOTE] Pro tip: Most people are not gonna message back, no matter how interesting your message is. That's my experience anyway.

I'm really angry right now. About 2 weeks ago I moved through half the country to study to a completely new place, no friends or anything. The students in the year above me have this three week long thing where they are supposed to make our class get closer together which involves clubbing and alcohol. This Saturday we went to a toga party. Sometime halfway through the night I move away from the dance floor to make a pocket in my toga and one of the students from the year above comes up to me. Let's call her C. She ask if I'm alright, I tell her that I just needed a pocket for my wallet so she turns around and walks away. I'm done by now so I walk behind her on my way to the dance floor when suddenly she jumps back and starts twerking on my hand. She turns around and looks at me like I'm some kind of creep and runs away into a group of classmates. I'm like WTF but didn't think more of it and just continued dancing and having fun. This Monday I notice that some classmates look at me strange and when I get home I see that a quarter of the class has removed me from facebook. Today I find out that C has been going around telling people I groped her. Now I don't really care what C thinks but as I mentioned before I don't know anyone here except my class and a few people from my dorm. I don't think I'm going to do anything about this except avoiding C because going around talking about it will probably just make it worse and I haven't done anything wrong in the first place. This whole thing is so stupid but hey, at least she hasn't reported me to the police AFAIK.

Confront her about it if you get a chance.

I don't think she or the others would believe me and I'd rather not talk to her about it anyway and risk giving her more fodder for shit talking. People will forget about it and get to know me in time anyway.

If you think that's for the best it's your life and probably the best move. I'm just thinking you don't want something like this to follow you. It's most likely just a misconception on her part, and if you try and explain it, you might be able to get it to die.

[QUOTE=blerb;51007287]You're ok as long as you don't overthink things too much. It's this simple: [B]she's upset that she got wasted and slept with you too soon, and getting high likely made her anxious, which likely exacerbated her pre-existing feelings[/B]. Don't think about what she wants to do because of this. Assuming a bunch of shit right now will not help you. give her time to process and cool off, and do your own thing in the mean-time. Also, don't think about this stuff while stoned. I typically act a lot more emotional when I'm high as opposed to rationally while sober, and whenever my GF and I talk about serious things while I'm high, things usually don't go too smoothly. I also overthink at lightspeed because of my more emotional mindset. I'm not saying never smoke with her or have meaningful conversations with her while high, but try to avoid things that trigger your overthinking mindset and your insecurities.[/QUOTE] Yup, you were right on the money. Right before you posted this we texted and the general gist of it was just that she felt things moved way too quickly, but she had bottled that feeling up until we got stoned, leading to that predicament. Even though we can't undo that night, she wants to take things slower for now, and I can definitely handle that. All I was uncertain about was whether or not we were even still a thing. She was appreciative that I reached out to her like that, so I think i'm just going to give her her space for a while while the school year starts up.

Frustrating when this girl I know used to like me, but I was "seeing" someone at the time so I turned her down. Then comes time when we break up I text that girl and she's not interested anymore :( you always want what you can't have!!

So a girl at work that i have seen like 1 or 2 hours added me on WhatsApp and we were just chatting a bit till i realized she was getting a bit heavy with all the kissing emoji's and how funny and comfortable i am to work with. Now this could just be the truth but it could also mean she is trying to make a move on me, my girlfriend knows this girl and she said she is quite the stalker as she stalked my gf. After making it clear that i have a girlfriend she ignored me for a week and started talking again to me soon after and the best part is she even moved her work days from Tuesday and Saturday to Wednesday and Sunday which are the days i work as well.. Like i dunno nothing happened yet but i kinda hope she really means i am just a fun guy and not a potential stalking object

[QUOTE=Blazyd;51010738]Frustrating when this girl I know used to like me, but I was "seeing" someone at the time so I turned her down. Then comes time when we break up I text that girl and she's not interested anymore :( you always want what you can't have!![/QUOTE] Too real... I broke it off with someone because I was a little afraid of disappointing them because of long distance and now they're dating someone else and internally I'm like "well shit I really fucked it" lol. Not that I'm not happy for them, but it is a little bit of a lesson learned.

By some miracle, after moving to college I've managed to socially turn myself around. I've gotten to know more people in the last two weeks than throughout my entire time in high school. But I think I need some suggestions about holding onto relationships these people. Since I met them, I've asked some of them to meet up for lunch and the likes, but little else. If I've only met them once or twice, what should I do from here? Can I just ask them to go out and do whatever? Another thing I'm worried about, and what I'd say worries me more, is about my roommate and his friends. My roommate is an alright guy, but I get the impression he's annoyed with me for whatever reason. Not entirely sure why, I can't think of anything I'd be doing that would bother him. However, his group of friends who I've done things with once or twice seem to like me. At the same time none of them know me too well, and I don't have the contacts of any of them. I'd like to be involved in what they're doing, but the only way I can really know what they're doing is when he tells me. Whenever I ask, he doesn't give me a straight answer. I know they're out doing things, he's often out of the room most of the day and shows up at around 11 PM, and I hear mentions of what they're doing when he's talking with other people sometimes. What should I do?

I kicked the shit out of my exams I don't have to redo all of last year :smile:

i've been kicking myself in the nuts recently. My ex and her bf are posting photos of them all the fucking places, its nuts. Although i blocked her from facebook, sometimes her name appears on instagram commenting to friends and such, and its too damn temping so i go into it and bam, another thing to think about 3-4 days. I seriously need some advice on self control.

I had the same issue. In my case it maybe helped that my ex never posted much on her profiles. I looked at her Facebook early this year and it turned out she'd been to New Zealand. It tugged at the heart a little as we'd been talking about making the trip together. I noticed she'd also untagged me from a number of posts on instagram, which seems a little petty to me considering they're all from about 2 years ago and it was about us playing a drinking game... The key is self control as you say. When you see the name pop up, you just need to hold back on pressing it. It took me a while to be able to just scroll past. Months at the least. Sometimes I look out of curiosity but I never really look too deeply into it, just glance and move on. Set a goal for yourself not to look for a week. Then 2, 3, a month, etc. It helped me anyway.

[QUOTE=maeZtro;51007771]I'm really angry right now. About 2 weeks ago I moved through half the country to study to a completely new place, no friends or anything. The students in the year above me have this three week long thing where they are supposed to make our class get closer together which involves clubbing and alcohol. This Saturday we went to a toga party. Sometime halfway through the night I move away from the dance floor to make a pocket in my toga and one of the students from the year above comes up to me. Let's call her C. She ask if I'm alright, I tell her that I just needed a pocket for my wallet so she turns around and walks away. I'm done by now so I walk behind her on my way to the dance floor when suddenly she jumps back and starts twerking on my hand. She turns around and looks at me like I'm some kind of creep and runs away into a group of classmates. I'm like WTF but didn't think more of it and just continued dancing and having fun. This Monday I notice that some classmates look at me strange and when I get home I see that a quarter of the class has removed me from facebook. Today I find out that C has been going around telling people I groped her. Now I don't really care what C thinks but as I mentioned before I don't know anyone here except my class and a few people from my dorm. I don't think I'm going to do anything about this except avoiding C because going around talking about it will probably just make it worse and I haven't done anything wrong in the first place. This whole thing is so stupid but hey, at least she hasn't reported me to the police AFAIK.[/QUOTE] This sort of happened to me, a rumor was started which is 100% not true, and I live in a small town and lost tons of friends over it. Even people who I tried to date found out and started avoiding me. Considering moving.