Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

Relationships require a level of commitment that not everyone is ready for, but some people want the physical affection without the romantic attachment. There's nothing wrong with that. It's a personal choice and doesn't make the relationship that those two people have any less significant or any more of anyone else's business.

Hello guys. Long time no see. Just wanted to give you all a quick update and vent a bit. So I've been with this girl since March and it's been wonderful. We're both studying and it's been an amazing long distance relationship (300km). Contrary to what people believe about LDR that they're doomed to fail, we both feel that we're growing stronger and stronger. I think due to the great communication and openness between us both. We've been spending the summer holidays together to make the most out of summer and our relationship but I can't help but feel a little anxious about going back to my last year of uni away from her. We're both a bit afraid to be honest. My plan is moving up to her city once I finish. But life twists and turns. And I'm very afraid that our life/work and oportunities will force us appart. For example if my dream work isnear or in my hometown, will I still want to move up with her? We're both commited to fight until the end but we can't help but dread a possible scenario in which we go our different ways because of life.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;51055152]Hello guys. Long time no see. Just wanted to give you all a quick update and vent a bit. So I've been with this girl since March and it's been wonderful. We're both studying and it's been an amazing long distance relationship (300km). Contrary to what people believe about LDR that they're doomed to fail, we both feel that we're growing stronger and stronger. I think due to the great communication and openness between us both. We've been spending the summer holidays together to make the most out of summer and our relationship but I can't help but feel a little anxious about going back to my last year of uni away from her. We're both a bit afraid to be honest. My plan is moving up to her city once I finish. But life twists and turns. And I'm very afraid that our life/work and oportunities will force us appart. For example if my dream work isnear or in my hometown, will I still want to move up with her? We're both commited to fight until the end but we can't help but dread a possible scenario in which we go our different ways because of life.[/QUOTE] shitty situation but good job making the most out of it. wish you the best

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You shouldn't operate on the the assumption that your crush also has a crush on you. Especially for that long. From what you've said it seems she thought you were just friends while you though you were in a relationship.

Yeah you really jumped the shark on that one.

You're framing your platonic relationship as some sort of one sided romantic one. Not to be rude, but it doesn't sound like you two were ever dating; it's not really fair to say she's having an affair with anyone as a single individual. [editline]15th September 2016[/editline] Imagine one of your best friends who you hadn't even considered sexually sprung "I love you" on you. It'd be pretty uncomfortable for everyone. Next time, make your intentions more apparent from the get go.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51057361]Assumptions never work out in relationships[/QUOTE] This is such flawless advice as well, can't tell you how many negative situations (arguments or otherwise) have come up from just assuming something of my partner.

You're right. I did delude myself way too much and acted as if the things were much more significant than they really were.

[QUOTE=Mehis;51057371]You're right. I did delude myself way too much and acted as if they were much more significant than they were.[/QUOTE] It's not wrong to enjoy the times you spent and have positive memories of them! Just get a better idea of how the other person truly feels before you dive into any ideas. The fact that attempting to tell her your feelings was so difficult is indicative of you already being pretty aware it wasn't reciprocated. Also, the best way to communicate feelings for someone is through action. Instead of spewing out a hot mess of words and then standing there awkwardly while they try to process it, just ask them on a date! It isn't much like the movies where the big "I love you" is met with resounding applause and vicious making out (at least for 99% of the population).

I think I could use some tips for establishing a presence online to keep up with people I've met in person. I don't have anything up beyond my FP account, Steam, and a blog; and nothing that people I know irl know me on. What do you all use as far as keeping up with people you meet face-to-face?

Just texting. I prefer to stick to face-to-face communication as much as possible.

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[QUOTE=racerfan;51057873]I think I could use some tips for establishing a presence online to keep up with people I've met in person. I don't have anything up beyond my FP account, Steam, and a blog; and nothing that people I know irl know me on. What do you all use as far as keeping up with people you meet face-to-face?[/QUOTE] Facebook and Twitter are actually really useful for networking even if you hardly use them beyond messaging.

What are the rules on asking a girl out on public transport?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51059145]What are the rules on asking a girl out on public transport?[/QUOTE] if i were a girl just minding her own business on public transport id probably not want some guy trying to hit it on with me

If I were a girl minding her own business on public transport I'd kill to have somebody ask me who my favorite Dota hero is Edit: Oh dude I wasn't trying to make fun of you, sorry!

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51059231]if i were a girl just minding her own business on public transport id probably not want some guy trying to hit it on with me[/QUOTE]Well, looks like I'll be single from now until death then.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51059334]Well, looks like I'll be single from now until death then.[/QUOTE] Ok have a good time

[QUOTE=srobins;51059239]If I were a girl minding her own business on public transport I'd kill to have somebody ask me who my favorite Dota hero is[/QUOTE]Pudge?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51059334]Well, looks like I'll be single from now until death then.[/QUOTE] Don't be so melodramatic. Just because you're not in a relationship right now as a young adult doesn't mean you're going to be "single until death". There are plenty of more appropriate situations you can meet women. Asking someone out on public transport sucks because if they aren't interested they're trapped there with you afterward anyway. It makes it a lot harder to reject someone outright when you have no way of removing yourself from the situation afterward. Women have to think a lot harder about how to deal with men coming onto them tactfully because we are the physically weaker sex and a lot of us have dealt with a guy who cannot take no for an answer at some point or another. You can talk to people without an endgame. Treat people as an ends in themselves, not a means to an end. If someone seems interesting to you just talk to them like a goddamn human being and let things play out as they will. You don't have to fall in love with someone to make talking to them worth your time. If nothing else it's good practice. [editline]16th September 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=srobins;51059239]If I were a girl minding her own business on public transport I'd kill to have somebody ask me who my favorite Dota hero is[/QUOTE] That would be awesome because it implies the person wants to get to know me through common interests and isn't just trying to get with me. (I have yet to get any comments on my Klingon empire shirt ): Totally saving up for an engagement ring so I'll be ready when I do) Asking someone for their digits when you hardly know them just reeks of desperation.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51059464]Don't be so melodramatic. Just because you're not in a relationship right now as a young adult doesn't mean you're going to be "single until death". There are plenty of more appropriate situations you can meet women. Asking someone out on public transport sucks because if they aren't interested they're trapped there with you afterward anyway. It makes it a lot harder to reject someone outright when you have no way of removing yourself from the situation afterward. Women have to think a lot harder about how to deal with men coming onto them tactfully because we are the physically weaker sex and a lot of us have dealt with a guy who cannot take no for an answer at some point or another. You can talk to people without an endgame. Treat people as an ends in themselves, not a means to an end. If someone seems interesting to you just talk to them like a goddamn human being and let things play out as they will. You don't have to fall in love with someone to make talking to them worth your time. If nothing else it's good practice. [editline]16th September 2016[/editline] That would be awesome because it implies the person wants to get to know me through common interests and isn't just trying to get with me. (I have yet to get any comments on my Klingon empire shirt ): Totally saving up for an engagement ring so I'll be ready when I do) Asking someone for their digits when you hardly know them just reeks of desperation.[/QUOTE]I'm not asking for a one nighter and I'm not stupid enough physically attack someone because I got rejected. In retrospect I shouldn't have asked, it's taboo to talk to random people on public transport anyway. I get the feeling from your statement you assume that I'm some sort of brash sexist, but the truth is when you've been told by everyone you've ever liked that they're already in a relationship, you start to believe that anyone you're attracted to is some sort of superior species and I assume it's like this for both genders. I won't insult your intelligence by making some excuse to cover up my cowardice when it comes speaking to strangers, but at the same time I'm sure you can understand that as good as having nice conversation is, I still feel the disappointment that comes afterwards, especially if I get on with the person. So for that reason I think it's healthier to part ways early. FFS, I need to posting in here, I have plenty of friends, the fuck is wrong me

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51059704]I'm not asking for a one nighter and I'm not stupid enough physically attack someone because I got rejected.[/QUOTE] I never accused you of the latter. What I said was that this is a real concern that the majority of women have to think about when they want to reject someone. Part of the reason we get a reputation for not being straightforward with rejection is because a lot of the time we don't know what the person is going to do if they don't get what they want. Just because you consider yourself a good person who wouldn't hurt a woman doesn't mean that every person you interact with is going to know that. As for the former, I don't think I accused you of necessarily wanting a one-night stand (I'm actually not sure where you got this from at all because my post never mentioned one-night stands), but it is always going to come across as incredibly shallow if you ask someone out who you have never talked to/approach someone based on their looks alone. The only (common) reason someone would do that is for sex. If you're deciding who to ask out based on appearance and not personality, you need to reassess your reasons for wanting a romantic relationship in the first place. [editline]16th September 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=RoboChimp;51059704]I won't insult your intelligence by making some excuse to cover up my cowardice when it comes speaking to strangers, but at the same time I'm sure you can understand that as good as having nice conversation is, I still feel the disappointment that comes afterwards, especially if I get on with the person. So for that reason I think it's healthier to part ways early.[/QUOTE] That tells me you need to talk to [i]more[/i] people, not less. There are so many incredible people out there who you've never talked to - you won't feel the need to cling to one good conversation when there will be plenty more in the future.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51059704]I'm not asking for a one nighter and I'm not stupid enough physically attack someone because I got rejected. In retrospect I shouldn't have asked, it's taboo to talk to random people on public transport anyway. I get the feeling from your statement you assume that I'm some sort of brash sexist, but the truth is when you've been told by everyone you've ever liked that they're already in a relationship, you start to believe that anyone you're attracted to is some sort of superior species and I assume it's like this for both genders. I won't insult your intelligence by making some excuse to cover up my cowardice when it comes speaking to strangers, but at the same time I'm sure you can understand that as good as having nice conversation is, I still feel the disappointment that comes afterwards, especially if I get on with the person. So for that reason I think it's healthier to part ways early. FFS, I need to posting in here, I have plenty of friends, the fuck is wrong me[/QUOTE] I'm pretty sure guy didn't accuse you personally of anything - seems to me she just described why that would potentially be an unpleasant experience from her point of you. You asked but didn't get the answer you wanted - why ask?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51059704]FFS, I need to posting in here, I have plenty of friends, the fuck is wrong me[/QUOTE] petition to change thread title to "No friends club"

I wonder, does anyone else watch a movie or TV series with his/hers bf/gf weekly?

In my situation, I have feelings for with this woman. She has feelings for me. but doesn't want them. An inbetween, or FWB, situation isn't kosher because emotions are involved. That's when it starts to get complicated. We both start making bad decisions, like sleeping with one another and making out and such. She wants to keep rolling with our weird ass inbetween situation and it's starting to screw me up because when she ISN'T as close to me as she was when we slept with each other, I start to feel sad. I've already talked to her about us dating more than is healthy and she hasn't budged. I don't want her to budge, either. I don't want to change her. My mind is already in the realm of "being in a relationship," even though I am still single. Whenever I'm not around her I start feeling poopy and when she doesn't pay attention to me it's the same. Today I decided that we need to halt the momentum because we are barrelling toward a catastrophe that's gonna screw with me a lot more than saying good bye for the forseeable future is. I really like her but it kills me to be around her because she's doesn't want anything to do with relationships. the other night we had an argument and i saw she looked afraid and she looks into my eyes and goes "i see you're in love." there's been a lot of tension between us because i have feelings for her and she has feelings for me. she doesn't want to be in a relationship at ALL, so today we were hanging out and we went down to her room and she legit just stopped talking to me. I texted her, like an asshole does, and said "i would like it if you talked me" kind of trying to get her to talk to me and she's like "we hang out so much already" so i just left, like an asshole does. we had a forty minute argument and i told her that it was difficult for me to be around her without wanting to be WITH her. She just wanted to keep stumbling blindly through this and making mistakes and I had stop it from getting too catastrophic. Did I do the right thing?

[QUOTE=darth-veger;51060087]I wonder, does anyone else watch a movie or TV series with his/hers bf/gf weekly?[/QUOTE] Well we've been following Better Call Saul together and we also watch that one baking contest show.

[QUOTE=darth-veger;51060087]I wonder, does anyone else watch a movie or TV series with his/hers bf/gf weekly?[/QUOTE] my girlfriend and i have watched all of the office together previously and are currently watching the walking dead/game of thrones together.

[QUOTE=darth-veger;51060087]I wonder, does anyone else watch a movie or TV series with his/hers bf/gf weekly?[/QUOTE] under the dome recently