Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=darth-veger;51060087]I wonder, does anyone else watch a movie or TV series with his/hers bf/gf weekly?[/QUOTE] I loaned my blu-ray set of Twin Peaks to my SO (kind of, things are still weird as per my last post in this thread) so she could watch it on her own time because we're both really busy and rarely have the time to see each other.

[QUOTE=Perman00bJr;51060105]In my situation, I have feelings for with this woman. She has feelings for me. but doesn't want them. An inbetween, or FWB, situation isn't kosher because emotions are involved. That's when it starts to get complicated. We both start making bad decisions, like sleeping with one another and making out and such. She wants to keep rolling with our weird ass inbetween situation and it's starting to screw me up because when she ISN'T as close to me as she was when we slept with each other, I start to feel sad. I've already talked to her about us dating more than is healthy and she hasn't budged. I don't want her to budge, either. I don't want to change her. My mind is already in the realm of "being in a relationship," even though I am still single. Whenever I'm not around her I start feeling poopy and when she doesn't pay attention to me it's the same. Today I decided that we need to halt the momentum because we are barrelling toward a catastrophe that's gonna screw with me a lot more than saying good bye for the forseeable future is. I really like her but it kills me to be around her because she's doesn't want anything to do with relationships. the other night we had an argument and i saw she looked afraid and she looks into my eyes and goes "i see you're in love." there's been a lot of tension between us because i have feelings for her and she has feelings for me. she doesn't want to be in a relationship at ALL, so today we were hanging out and we went down to her room and she legit just stopped talking to me. I texted her, like an asshole does, and said "i would like it if you talked me" kind of trying to get her to talk to me and she's like "we hang out so much already" so i just left, like an asshole does. we had a forty minute argument and i told her that it was difficult for me to be around her without wanting to be WITH her. She just wanted to keep stumbling blindly through this and making mistakes and I had stop it from getting too catastrophic. Did I do the right thing?[/QUOTE] I went through an extremely similar situation over the past year or so. The difference with me is that the girl I was hooking up with and spending time with all the time DID want to be in a relationship, just not with me. It started to drive me nuts because she told me over and over that I was the best friend she ever had, and it was the same thing on my end too. She really meant a lot to me, but I kept getting this feeling like she was treating me as a kind of stand-in boyfriend, having sex with me and spending a ton of time with me when other guys would turn her down or break up with her, then getting a lot more distant when she found another "serious" relationship. Eventually I just pretty much told her we should stop being friends, because I don't think we can ever reconcile the difference between what the relationship meant to me versus what it meant to her. I didn't like constantly feeling like a backup plan and so I said we should keep our distance for the foreseeable future. This all seemed to go down on pleasant enough terms, but I still see her every week or two and now she refuses to speak to me and even actively avoids eye contact. I wish she'd still talk to me, but I'd rather have her pissed off at me than go through what I did again. My point is, I think you did right. When two people have very different ideas of what their relationship is, it's probably best to take a step back from it, because somebody's going to end up getting hurt even worse in the future. You're bound to have recurring conflict if neither side is willing to concede on an issue, and when the issue is the very relationship itself, it's going to permeate all your time together. If being just friends is too strenuous for you, or being more than friends is too strenuous for her, you probably need some time apart to reevaluate. Spend a few weeks with other people and see if your feelings change.

[QUOTE=darth-veger;51060087]I wonder, does anyone else watch a movie or TV series with his/hers bf/gf weekly?[/QUOTE] Me and my ex did the entire miyazaki catalog almost except for naussica. Spoke to her the other day and she says she cant watch ghibli any more because it reminds her too much of us. So that got ruined. Sucks.

i finally know what the feeling of being betrayed is like and i dont like it at all

Okay so bus is off the table, there goes like 1/4 of my life. What about in the classroom? How do I sit close (in effort to strike up a conversation) with people I am attracted to when doing so seems ridiculously obvious, but, if I don't, those people on the other side of the class may as well not exist. I usually sit down, not knowing anyone, other people sit down in groups around me (but not next to) and I am stuck there for the rest of the term with my thumb up my ass hoping desperately that someone will accidentally stumble into a conversation with me. I am not afraid of interaction, or particularly bad at it, but I do have the feeling the people are afraid of me or something. I'm not disfigured or what I would consider below-average looking, and so I cannot for the life of me understand why I might as well be taking distance courses with the amount of social interaction I've gotten in the past 4 years of university. Then, even if I do get close to someone, there is the factor of distraction - that people are there to learn, and so do I avoid asking girls to hang out until classes are over? And if so doesn't that make me sound like a shallow asshole? Fuck me I don't understand any of this. Also: Bonus round. What are the rules about looking at people? If I look at someone is it better to let myself be caught so as to allow the other person to potentially reciprocate with a smile or something, or is that completely overthinking things and I should just look at the ground? (And when I say look at people I mean at their faces, not their ass or whatever)

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51059721]I never accused you of the latter. What I said was that this is a real concern that the majority of women have to think about when they want to reject someone. Part of the reason we get a reputation for not being straightforward with rejection is because a lot of the time we don't know what the person is going to do if they don't get what they want. Just because you consider yourself a good person who wouldn't hurt a woman doesn't mean that every person you interact with is going to know that.[/QUOTE] So what you're saying is most women assume that there's going to be conseqences for rejecting someone. [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51059721] As for the former, I don't think I accused you of necessarily wanting a one-night stand (I'm actually not sure where you got this from at all because my post never mentioned one-night stands), but it is always going to come across as incredibly shallow if you ask someone out who you have never talked to/approach someone based on their looks alone. The only (common) reason someone would do that is for sex. If you're deciding who to ask out based on appearance and not personality, you need to reassess your reasons for wanting a romantic relationship in the first place.[/QUOTE] To be honest, I detected mild hostility in your post, so I just went to the nearest negative so I could say I'm no as bad as that. I want a relationship because I don't want to die having not had that experience, ideally there has to be some physical attraction. I honestly can't tell the difference between talking to someone and asking them out, aren't you suppose to make conversation then ask to see them again, isn't that that how it works even for one nighters? I think you're alluding the fact that I may be lonely or something like t [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51059721] That tells me you need to talk to [i]more[/i] people, not less. There are so many incredible people out there who you've never talked to - you won't feel the need to cling to one good conversation when there will be plenty more in the future.[/QUOTE]I think you're alluding the fact that I may be lonely or something like that. I don't want to cling to one conversation, but I'd like a bit more than friendship, so there's always disappointment. [QUOTE=meharryp;51059835]petition to change thread title to "No friends club"[/QUOTE] What I mean is; I need to stop annoying you guys. [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51060048]RoboChimp, you make the same posts here every so often, do self-depreciation when we try to give you advice, and then leave until the cycle starts again Do you actually want advice?[/QUOTE]I have an internal conflict, part of me want's help with this, the other half just doesn't think it's worthwhile. I think I just come here when I get jealous of other people. Can't help me unless I'm willing to help myself, I get it. Cowardice vs Hopefulness. I'd hope this time I give up and stay given up.

Holy shit you're overthinking Here's my advice. Don't think of women as potential relationships/fuckholes, think of them as people because they're people. I'm too lazy to read through the rest of your posts, but that reeks of desperate and it was just a rebuttal. If you want to experience sex or whatever, if you're that desperate then pay someone. It won't help, but you'll get what you want. Honestly though if you're looking for a relationship, you need to focus on yourself first. You seem to have issues with self worth, not to mention self esteem or self confidence

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;51064120]Holy shit you're overthinking Here's my advice. Don't think of women as potential relationships/fuckholes, think of them as people because they're people. I'm too lazy to read through the rest of your posts, but that reeks of desperate and it was just a rebuttal. If you want to experience sex or whatever, if you're that desperate then pay someone. It won't help, but you'll get what you want. Honestly though if you're looking for a relationship, you need to focus on yourself first. You seem to have issues with self worth, not to mention self esteem or self confidence[/QUOTE]For god sake, I've already addressed the sexism thing in an early statement. It's not because they're women, it's because they're attractive people. I'm taking pills for self esteem issues, do don't worry. Also don't start a post with 'holy shit', it's just a blatant over reaction, makes it sound like I've just done something horrific. Self confidence isn't the issue, again, I have pills for that. The issue is finding the right person before the other guy, either that or I just don't have an luck. I don't give a fuck about what I think of myself, that's got nothing to with this. Look you guys are making this too complicated, I don't want a relationship, you're right I'm wrong I give up.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51064248]The issue is finding the right person before the other guy[/QUOTE] ???

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51063903]To be honest, I detected mild hostility in your post, so I just went to the nearest negative so I could say I'm no as bad as that. I want a relationship because I don't want to die having not had that experience, ideally there has to be some physical attraction. I honestly can't tell the difference between talking to someone and asking them out, aren't you suppose to make conversation then ask to see them again, isn't that that how it works even for one nighters?[/QUOTE] No! No it's not! Someone you've spoken to for ten seconds can change your life and that doesn't mean you ever need to see or talk to them again. Most relationships (meaning in general, not romantic relationships) are temporary and a lot of them don't need to continue for more than a few minutes to be worthwhile. Just because you get along with someone does not mean you need to keep them in your life. [QUOTE=RoboChimp;51063903]I think you're alluding the fact that I may be lonely or something like that. I don't want to cling to one conversation, but I'd like a bit more than friendship, so there's always disappointment.[/QUOTE] Yes I'm "alluding to" that. It's plainly obvious. If you weren't lonely you wouldn't be clinging to every single person you speak to who you don't hate. You wouldn't be trying to get a date with every person you see before you know a thing about who they are as a person. If you were truly not lonely, you would not be pursuing a relationship as desperately as you are right now. There are a lot of people like myself who don't even [i]want[/i] a romantic relationship because they are satisfied with the relationships they already have. I know many, many people in their 20s who are putting romance to the side while they focus on their job or education.

[QUOTE=healthpoint;51064283]???[/QUOTE] Everytime I meet someone I like they're in a long term relationship, so I obviously have to find someone before said other person. [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51064478]No! No it's not! Someone you've spoken to for ten seconds can change your life and that doesn't mean you ever need to see or talk to them again. Most relationships (meaning in general, not romantic relationships) are temporary and a lot of them don't need to continue for more than a few minutes to be worthwhile. Just because you get along with someone does not mean you need to keep them in your life. Yes I'm "alluding to" that. It's plainly obvious. If you weren't lonely you wouldn't be clinging to every single person you speak to who you don't hate. You wouldn't be trying to get a date with every person you see before you know a thing about who they are as a person. If you were truly not lonely, you would not be pursuing a relationship as desperately as you are right now. There are a lot of people like myself who don't even [i]want[/i] a romantic relationship because they are satisfied with the relationships they already have. I know many, many people in their 20s who are putting romance to the side while they focus on their job or education.[/QUOTE]Based on what you've said the only conclusion is for me to just give up, ignore the problem and hate myself anytime I feel any sort physical attraction. Look I've never had anything and I'm 28 years old and just frustrated. I'm not fucking and I don't need more friends. This bullshit of 'you'll meet someone when you're mature and love yourself' doesn't make any sort of sense to me at all so stop saying it and like I said, I give up. Now excuse me as a I retreat to my basement like a stereotypical nerd. Good day madam. The more I post here the more I hate myself. Ask for advice on asking someone out and I get told I have no friends in a condescending manner.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51064556]Everytime I meet someone I like they're in a long term relationship, so I obviously have to find someone before said other person. Based on what you've said the only conclusion is for me to just give up, ignore the problem and hate myself anytime I feel any sort physical attraction. Look I've never had anything and I'm 28 years old and just frustrated. I'm not fucking and I don't need more friends. This bullshit of 'you'll meet someone when you're mature and love yourself' doesn't make any sort of sense to me at all so stop saying it and like I said, I give up. Now excuse me as a I retreat to my basement like a stereotypical nerd. Good day madam. The more I post here the more I hate myself. Ask for advice on asking someone out and I get told I have no friends in a condescending manner.[/QUOTE] Just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't make it untrue and I'm pretty sure nobody told you you have no friends? This kind of massive over-reaction is what gets you these responses.

You don't have to love yourself to be in a fulfilling relationship. But the more you blame the circumstances surrounding your search rather than not trying other ways to develop meaningful relationships, the more childish and immature you appear to anyone. People are people and people can be awesome. Talk to someone because they're a person. Them being attractive is sometimes a good plus, but when you're upset because you talked to Suzy who you just met on the bus and she mentioned in passing that she has a boyfriend, then you need to say: "Well okay! I bet she could still be a cool friend." Whether or not Suzy is in a relationship should have no bearing on her value as a person to you. Relationships are sometimes hard, dude. This thread wouldn't exist if they weren't. But literally every time you come around and ask for advice, you shut down anything anyone says by immediately getting insulted and defensive and self-depreciating. If you're gonna respond like that every time then maybe this thread isn't the place for you to go to for advice!! Maybe look for a book or something that could help you build up the know-how to go out there and date. But people here will only tell you something so many times and have you respond with "I hate myself" before they start ignoring you and move on.

[QUOTE=metallics;51064658]Just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't make it untrue and I'm pretty sure nobody told you you have no friends? This kind of massive over-reaction is what gets you these responses.[/QUOTE]It doesn't make any sense at all, what the fuck does something completely irrelevant like being narcissistic have to with getting someone I'm attracted to go out with me? So no it doesn't make any sense. If anything telling someone to 'love themself' is some cutesy love in patronising bullshit. Being to told 'I'm lonely' is the same as saying I have no friends. I'm sick of being told the same old ineffective advice, in fact I think just asking for a date is probably more effective than anything you all say, especially Guy Mannly's 'just make friends with people' spiel. I don't have the patience or time for 50 friendszones or worthless chit chat.

"Chit chat" is how you get to know people. And it's certainly not worthless. If you're not willing to take the necessary steps like GETTING TO KNOW someone then you're honestly better off not in a relationship at all.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51064760]You don't have to love yourself to be in a fulfilling relationship. But the more you blame the circumstances surrounding your search rather than not trying other ways to develop meaningful relationships, the more childish and immature you appear to anyone. People are people and people can be awesome. Talk to someone because they're a person. Them being attractive is sometimes a good plus, but when you're upset because you talked to Suzy who you just met on the bus and she mentioned in passing that she has a boyfriend, then you need to say: "Well okay! I bet she could still be a cool friend." Whether or not Suzy is in a relationship should have no bearing on her value as a person to you. Relationships are sometimes hard, dude. This thread wouldn't exist if they weren't. But literally every time you come around and ask for advice, you shut down anything anyone says by immediately getting insulted and defensive and self-depreciating. If you're gonna respond like that every time then maybe this thread isn't the place for you to go to for advice!! Maybe look for a book or something that could help you build up the know-how to go out there and date. But people here will only tell you something so many times and have you respond with "I hate myself" before they start ignoring you and move on.[/QUOTE]If this "Suzy" character mentioned a boy friend I wouldn't immediately get mad, but I would make an excuse to stop talking and consider myself a complete fuckwitt for wasting my and her time and lower my own self esteem. [QUOTE=Pascall;51064767]"Chit chat" is how you get to know people. And it's certainly not worthless. If you're not willing to take the necessary steps like GETTING TO KNOW someone then you're honestly better off not in a relationship at all.[/QUOTE]The date is for getting to know someone. Like I said, I give up. Too many fucking rules and it's just not worth all the self loathing that comes from being rejected anyway. I just need stronger will power when it comes to ignoring people I'm attracted to. On the bright side I'll never have some bitch stealing my stuff and wasting money. All this bullshit was giving me a migraine anyway.

Okay.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51064831]If this "Suzy" character mentioned a boy friend I wouldn't immediately get mad, but I would make an excuse to stop talking and consider myself a complete fuckwitt for wasting my and her time and lower my own self esteem. The date is for getting to know someone. Like I said, I give up. Too many fucking rules and it's just not worth all the self loathing that comes from being rejected anyway. I just need stronger will power when it comes to ignoring people I'm attracted to. [B]On the bright side I'll never have some bitch stealing my stuff and wasting money. [/B] All this bullshit was giving me a migraine anyway.[/QUOTE] yeah for everyone's sake i think you should just not get in a relationship ever if that's what you think about women

I just don't understand why talking to people before asking them out is such an arduous task... It costs $0.00 to say hi and ask someone about their day.

also are you unironically arguing that every single chat you have with a person with a vagina is obligated to end in a "would you like to go on a date" jfc the entitlement (and sexism) is unreal

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51064761]I don't have the patience or time for worthless chit chat.[/QUOTE] lmao okay

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51064248][B]For god sake, I've already addressed the sexism thing in an early statement. It's not because they're women, it's because they're attractive people.[/B] I'm taking pills for self esteem issues, do don't worry. Also don't start a post with 'holy shit', it's just a blatant over reaction, makes it sound like I've just done something horrific. Self confidence isn't the issue, again, I have pills for that. The issue is finding the right person before the other guy, either that or I just don't have an luck. I don't give a fuck about what I think of myself, that's got nothing to with this. Look you guys are making this too complicated, I don't want a relationship, you're right I'm wrong I give up.[/QUOTE] that's what we call deflection nah you're being sexist [editline]17th September 2016[/editline] if you don't have trouble talking to attractive men you're just sexist

[QUOTE=Pascall;51064961]I just don't understand why talking to people before asking them out is such an arduous task... It costs $0.00 to say hi and ask someone about their day.[/QUOTE]Because I'm tried of friendszones. [QUOTE=LordCrypto;51064973]that's what we call deflection nah you're being sexist [editline]17th September 2016[/editline] if you don't have trouble talking to attractive men you're just sexist[/QUOTE] I don't know many times I have to say I'm not sexist, full fucking stop. Are you seriously trying to annoy me with this level of stupidity? Everyone fucking knows it's hard to talking to people you're attracted to. No one reply. There's nothing to say.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51065042]Because I'm tried of friendszones. I don't know many times I have to say I'm not sexist, full fucking stop. Are you seriously trying to annoy me with this level of stupidity? [B]Everyone fucking knows it's hard to talking to people you're attracted to.[/B][/QUOTE] no it isn't [editline]17th September 2016[/editline] a. friendzone doesn't exist (well not really) b. the very act of you implying that you believe in the friendzone implies that you are sexist because you don't see any woman as a potential friend, just a relationship c. please never date anyone ever you obviously think they're all going to steal your money anyways

There's nothing wrong with being someone's friend though. Therein lies the issue of the concept of the friend zone. A friendship isn't a consolation prize. Friendships are awesome things. But if you can't see the value in that then how the hell are you ever going to see the value in an actual relationship past the initial phase of "I want to bone you and call you my girlfriend"?? Relationships are ALL ABOUT talking. They're ALL ABOUT chit chat and compromise and stuff that people don't like to talk about because it doesn't fit their narrative they develop that a relationship is the end goal to existence. It's not??? Relationships can be messy and kind of fucked up but you get through it most of the times because you have an existing... Wow guess what... An existing friendship.....

i just stopped in here for a moment but i have to say the following after seeing all this- robochimp, you are not even remotely ready to maintain a relationship with another person. the lens through which you view rejection, and girlfriends as people who 'steal all your money' displays that you are not mature enough for a relationship. you need to grow as a person before you grow on other people. nobody wants to be with somebody is who is angry and rotten to the core about their relationship status, you need more time to work on yourself and iron out these issues- namely how you approach others and entirely reject those you have no chance of a relationship with. friendships are just as important as(and perhaps moreso than) romantic relationships, and usually friendships last longer. you shouldn't want a relationship for as baseless as a reason as "gaining the experience before you die". if that is one of your primary reasons for getting into a relationship with someone you are not ready to have one at all.

I've personally never dated someone who wasn't a friend beforehand. I know some people are different but I'd much rather be with someone I already know and trust rather than taking a chance on someone I don't know well.

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51065046]no it isn't [editline]17th September 2016[/editline] a. friendzone doesn't exist (well not really) b. the very act of you implying that you believe in the friendzone implies that you are sexist because you don't see any woman as a potential friend, just a relationship c. please never date anyone ever you obviously think they're all going to steal your money anyways[/QUOTE] Friendszones have fuck all to do with sexism, I could just as easily friendzone a girl who was attracted to me (not that any would be) without realising it. I know heaps of women who are just friends, but I'm not attracted to them. Anyone dating anyone has the potential to steal, people lie about themselves. [QUOTE=Pascall;51065081]There's nothing wrong with being someone's friend though. Therein lies the issue of the concept of the friend zone. A friendship isn't a consolation prize. Friendships are awesome things. But if you can't see the value in that then how the hell are you ever going to see the value in an actual relationship past the initial phase of "I want to bone you and call you my girlfriend"?? Relationships are ALL ABOUT talking. They're ALL ABOUT chit chat and compromise and stuff that people don't like to talk about because it doesn't fit their narrative they develop that a relationship is the end goal to existence. It's not??? Relationships can be messy and kind of fucked up but you get through it most of the times because you have an existing... Wow guess what... An existing friendship.....[/QUOTE]Ok whatever dude. I just said I changed my mind and don't give a fuck. From now on I'll only interact with people I absolutely have to. [QUOTE=ZombieWaffle;51065113]i just stopped in here for a moment but i have to say the following after seeing all this- robochimp, you are not even remotely ready to maintain a relationship with another person. the lens through which you view rejection, and girlfriends as people who 'steal all your money' displays that you are not mature enough for a relationship. you need to grow as a person before you grow on other people. nobody wants to be with somebody is who is angry and rotten to the core about their relationship status, you need more time to work on yourself and iron out these issues- namely how you approach others and entirely reject those you have no chance of a relationship with. friendships are just as important as(and perhaps moreso than) romantic relationships, and usually friendships last longer. you shouldn't want a relationship for as baseless as a reason as "gaining the experience before you die". if that is one of your primary reasons for getting into a relationship with someone you are not ready to have one at all.[/QUOTE]You know what, you're right. The more time I spend in this thread the more I realise I hate interacting with other people. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking posting in here in the first place, I don't want to share my time with some other person. I'm 28 I've done just about all the growing I'm going to. I'm not going to change as a person, what I'm like now is how I'm going to be until death, mature or not. [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51065121]RoboChimp, you really have to change your view on people. You cannot shut out all women as soon as you can't date them. Because let me tell you, you are over romanticizing the hell out of relationships. You're going to be so disappointed once you get in one. The grass is always greener.[/QUOTE]I don't shut out all women, just those who I feel some level of attraction to, it's too fucking awkward otherwise. [B]Point is, I've made the decision not to pursue this any longer, so no more advice, no more discussion, no more replies. End of story. [/B]

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51065206]Friendszones have fuck all to do with sexism, I could just as easily friendzone a girl who was attracted to me (not that any would be) without realising it. I know heaps of women who are just friends, but I'm not attracted to them. Anyone dating anyone has the potential to steal, people lie about themselves. Ok whatever dude. I just said I changed my mind and don't give a fuck. From now on I'll only interact with people I absolutely have to. You know what, you're right. The more time I spend in this thread the more I realise I hate interacting with other people. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking posting in here in the first place, I don't want to share my time with some other person. I'm 28 I've done just about all the growing I'm going to. I'm not going to change as a person, what I'm like now is how I'm going to be until death, mature or not. I don't shut out all women, just those who I feel some level of attraction to, it's too fucking awkward otherwise. [B]Point is, I've made the decision not to pursue this any longer, so no more advice, no more discussion, no more replies. End of story. [/B][/QUOTE] cool more hot australian babes for me

You are an insufferable human being, RoboChimp.