Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51069574]RoboChimp, why are you jealous of other peoples relationships? The honest truth to that question may give you a good hint on what you need to work on (it probably doesn't involve getting into a relationship)[/QUOTE]Well from an outside perspective it looks as though they have this sort of partnership or something, I don't really know what you call it. But it seems like it would be nice to have someone to connect with, help out and try to impress. Please don't interpret that as 'I'm lonely and need validation' or something negative. [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51069581]The fact a lot of this advice comes across as slightly-offensive to you, may mean you have some security issues you really have to start working on. All this self-depreciation, all this "well in my mind, it sounds like this...", I really think that's the root of this problem. You're just not happy with yourself.[/QUOTE]While it's true I don't hold myself in high esteem, I'm not going to burden someone with that crap. But if you want to me say it I'll say it, I just don't think I'm a likeable person with any valuable qualities or at least I don't see any reason anyone would like me. I'm socially awkward, I have borderline aspergers, I don't have enough money and I'm odd. So after all that it does make sense that no one would like me as I have nothing really to offer. I think I get it now. [QUOTE=Pascall;51069595]The thing about the advice "don't go looking for it", is that it's not entirely literal. Or, at least, it shouldn't be. Don't go looking for it essentially means that if you constantly treat every person you see as someone to date, then you will constantly be disappointed because there are such diverse populations of people that a huge percentage of them are gonna be in a relationship, not of the same sexual orientation, or just not interested! And so you're setting yourself up for failure in that regard. It's okay to be on the lookout for a relationship. But not just for the[I] sake[/I] of one. Look for relationships with people you build connections with and look for relationships both romantic AND platonic to build your network and your social standing with others. Look for PEOPLE. Not for a potential mate.[/QUOTE]I'll try, I guess. I still feel awkward about talking to random strangers. Again to be clear, I only wanted advise on building up the courage to talk to that girl on the bus.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51069575]People have said that before but I don't subscribe to that school of thought.It comes across as "you could meet your equal one day or not, just be really happy all the time no matter what happens" to be honest it does come across as a patronising version of "you need to reach a higher form of maturity". Now I'm think of looking for a relationship just to prove this wrong. [/QUOTE] To be fair, MOST people could stand to be more mature in some way or another. People don't say this to pick on you, it's just general good advice. And improving yourself doesn't have to be an enormous daunting undertaking, you can do really simple small things like learning to cook a new meal, or trying some new exercise. People don't really "finish" maturing until the day they die, and any positive change you can make, no matter how small, is still taking one step toward being a better, more well-rounded person. There's this thing the management does in a restaurant I work at, which is a little corny, but well-spirited. Every so often they post 10 random customer reviews of the place, and all the negative ones are highlighted and called "opportunities." If someone writes a review like "this sandwich had too much sauce" we don't say "I guess we're just not cut out to make that sandwich since we're obviously so shitty at it, let's just take it off the menu." We put less sauce on the sandwich. A criticism shouldn't be taken as an insult, much less a condemnation. When people give you advice it's because they WANT you to make a positive change, not because they want to shoot you down and be rid of you.

What are some reasons that lots and lots of completely unrelated people would decide to hate me? I was well-liked in my hometown but now that I've moved to college nobody likes me at all and most people openly dislike me. I can't figure out why. I don't smell bad, I'm not horrifically ugly, and I'm doing my best to be friendly. I don't understand what's going on and I'm terrified that I'm going to be lonely the entire time I'm here.

Have you... said anything in class? Or been messy or obnoxious to roommates?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51069746] But if you want to me say it I'll say it, [B]I just don't think I'm a likeable person with any valuable qualities or at least I don't see any reason anyone would like me. I'm socially awkward, I have borderline aspergers, I don't have enough money and I'm odd. [/B]So after all that it does make sense that no one would like me as I have nothing really to offer. I think I get it now. [/QUOTE] That's exactly the attitude you need to work on improving! You must love yourself before you can love someone else- as for talking to strangers, I know you can do it, you don't seem like a bad person at heart. Many of the best people are odd in some way or another, be yourself, even if that self is an odd person.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51070090]Have you... said anything in class? Or been messy or obnoxious to roommates?[/QUOTE] Class hasn't started yet. I've kept my spaces tidy and leaned towards the quieter side of things, but I've been putting a lot of effort towards being the nicest, sweetest person I can be. I don't know what's going wrong. [editline]18th September 2016[/editline] Maybe I'm too bland or something, but I've never hated someone because they weren't interesting enough on first inspection.

[QUOTE=ZombieWaffle;51070114]That's exactly the attitude you need to work on improving! [B]You must love yourself before you can love someone else[/B]- as for talking to strangers, I know you can do it, you don't seem like a bad person at heart. Many of the best people are odd in some way or another, be yourself, even if that self is an odd person.[/QUOTE] I don't like telling people this because people who suffer from anxiety, depression, PTSD, or trauma in general cannot always love themselves but are perfectly capable of having good days and bad days and being present in a relationship for someone else. I used to tell people this but the reality of it is that we can't all love ourselves all the time. It's well meaning advice but I think in this day and age it does a little more harm than good because people who don't always think well of themselves get convinced that they cannot ever possibly be in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. [editline]18th September 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=AtomicSans;51070116]Class hasn't started yet. I've kept my spaces tidy and leaned towards the quieter side of things, but I've been putting a lot of effort towards being the nicest, sweetest person I can be. I don't know what's going wrong. [editline]18th September 2016[/editline] Maybe I'm too bland or something, but I've never hated someone because they weren't interesting enough on first inspection.[/QUOTE] How do you know they openly dislike you? What are they saying?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51069746]Well from an outside perspective it looks as though they have this sort of partnership or something, I don't really know what you call it. But it seems like it would be nice to have someone to connect with, help out and try to impress. Please don't interpret that as 'I'm lonely and need validation' or something negative. While it's true I don't hold myself in high esteem, I'm not going to burden someone with that crap. But if you want to me say it I'll say it, I just don't think I'm a likeable person with any valuable qualities or at least I don't see any reason anyone would like me. I'm socially awkward, I have borderline aspergers, I don't have enough money and I'm odd. So after all that it does make sense that no one would like me as I have nothing really to offer. I think I get it now. I'll try, I guess. I still feel awkward about talking to random strangers. Again to be clear, I only wanted advise on building up the courage to talk to that girl on the bus.[/QUOTE] Hey man, I don't want to tell you how to lead your life and all, but maybe you could try working on improving aspects of your life that you don't like (Or even feel unhappy about). I mean there's always the option to change. If you don't think you are likable or have any qualities, then go do your best and try to get those qualities. Try to become a kind person, try to be creative and outgoing, or whatever it is that you would want to be. Just remember you can always do something about your current situation and how you act. You could see this as enlightenment or some special journey but tbh I think that sounds kind of dumb and even a little bit pretentious. I think if you have the guts to take a look at yourself and focus on improving your life, then all things like confidence, courage, and maybe even a relationship will kind of come at you. You have to do something to get where you want to be.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51070124]How do you know they openly dislike you? What are they saying?[/QUOTE]It's just body language, mostly. People turn away from me, don't respond to me in conversations, ignore my presence, leave the room when I enter. I heard a couple of people talking about me in the next room but I didn't listen in because I got too upset. I hope it's not that since I've moved, I've been feeling more suicidal than I've been for almost a year, and it's showing on my face or something. But I've been actively trying to hide that.

[QUOTE=ZombieWaffle;51070114]That's exactly the attitude you need to work on improving! You must love yourself before you can love someone else- as for talking to strangers, I know you can do it, you don't seem like a bad person at heart. Many of the best people are odd in some way or another, be yourself, even if that self is an odd person.[/QUOTE] i never liked the love yourself thing you can still be a fulfilling person and not love yourself because you just can't love yourself every day you don't have to love yourself, just make sure you remember the other person is as awful as you are, because in the end we pee, we poop, we fart and everyone(the greater majority of people anyways) gets turned on by stupid things we're all nasty and that's what you need to remember, if anyone thinks they're above this they're a liar, and pretentious or they have some kind of magical metabolism that destroys everything that enters their body the trick is to not be afraid because the other person is probably doing their best holding in their gas right now

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;51070155]It's just body language, mostly. People turn away from me, don't respond to me in conversations, ignore my presence, leave the room when I enter. I heard a couple of people talking about me in the next room but I didn't listen in because I got too upset. I hope it's not that since I've moved, I've been feeling more suicidal than I've been for almost a year, and it's showing on my face or something. But I've been actively trying to hide that.[/QUOTE] there's a difference between hating someone and not wanting to socialize with them

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51070296]there's a difference between hating someone and not wanting to socialize with them[/QUOTE] People are visibly put off by my presence and make a point to ignore me.

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;51070250]long[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Pascall;51070124]long[/QUOTE] You both have pretty good points, I should've clarified what I meant when I said that. Mostly what I meant by "love yourself" is to not expect a relationship with another person to fix your own problems- I see an awful lot people moving into relationships and expecting getting into a relationship to fix their problems and it usually ends in disappointment.

Yeah that's a better way to phrase it for sure.

Here's a quick rundown of a situation I've encountered. First few weeks of uni, I get close with this girl. For some reason she gets immediately comfortable with me. She's also a super cool bro, and one of the few people I can tolerate here (I'm going to a Uni that's far from my hometown). She would text me to just hang out it my dorm, even if we both had homework, and almost always made plans to hang first. Now I don't know if this was because she was just lonely and looking for friends, or if she has a thing for me. We both unanimously agree that we have become really close really fast. We both go to a party and this guy gets all over her. She doesn't do anything to stop his advances, but a few of the party goers (including me) ask if the dude is bothering her. She says it's fine. The night goes on. Next day she invites me out for breakfast, we act like nothing happened. I say nothing about the guy, because she's her own person, and it's not like we're dating. Perhaps I masked my feelings for her too much that she doesn't know I have a thing for her. Now, was I imagining that she had a thing for me? She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, so I think she's on the rebound, but is it worth getting invested in someone that goes on those sprees after a breakup?

[QUOTE=V_Buns;51070943]Here's a quick rundown of a situation I've encountered. First few weeks of uni, I get close with this girl. For some reason she gets immediately comfortable with me. She's also a super cool bro, and one of the few people I can tolerate here (I'm going to a Uni that's far from my hometown). She would text me to just hang out it my dorm, even if we both had homework, and almost always made plans to hang first. Now I don't know if this was because she was just lonely and looking for friends, or if she has a thing for me. We both unanimously agree that we have become really close really fast. We both go to a party and this guy gets all over her. She doesn't do anything to stop his advances, but a few of the party goers (including me) ask if the dude is bothering her. She says it's fine. The night goes on. Next day she invites me out for breakfast, we act like nothing happened. I say nothing about the guy, because she's her own person, and it's not like we're dating. Perhaps I masked my feelings for her too much that she doesn't know I have a thing for her. Now, was I imagining that she had a thing for me? She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, so I think she's on the rebound, but is it worth getting invested in someone that goes on those sprees after a breakup?[/QUOTE] If she just had a breakup she may be reboundin but shes entitled to do that after breaking up with someone if she wants - but that doesn't mean much. Frankly from the evidence you've been given so far it seems hard to draw any conclusions. Does she flirt openly with you or stuff or is she just hanging out with you? She might be into you and not want to rebound with you or she might just be rebounding with you or any other number of things. My advice would be to keep hanging and having a good time with her but just don't be naive about it. Also re: the whole 'love yourself thing' The whole saying 'love yourself before you love someone else' became really popular in this thread as a way of answering people who clearly want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. It's just an easy way of shortening a whole lot of statements into one sentence. Ultimately though, a truer statement is that women are people (which people in this thread sometimes like to forget), and people have a good eye for when they're being used, and if you're trying to get in a relationship with someone purely because you want to be in a relationship, then that's really the definition of using someone. Pascall you are right in that it's damaging - perhaps you don't have to love yourself but you do on some level have to have the ability to maturely recognise and address your problems before a relationship becomes a good idea in my view. A person who is mentally ill or anxious or depressed doesn't need to be cured sure, but they at least need to know these problems exist for them and be considerate of that when dealing with their partner I've said it before but it's a cruel irony for a lot of people - relationships don't really happen when you're absolutely desperate for them. That desperation is very obvious and it makes people worry about what kind of partner you will be. When your need for a relationship fills up every part of you what kind of person will you become when you no longer need one? That can be really hard to gauge and can turn people off pretty quickly

[QUOTE=Pascall;51065081]A friendship isn't a consolation prize. Friendships are awesome things.[/QUOTE] I don't think enough people truly understand or appreciate this. I met one of my two best friends online, and she's probably the best damn thing to happen to me. I love being her friend, and she loves being my friend. I don't think enough people really get what that's like, and why it's such a great thing. Especially guys who's end goal tends "gf/bang". like seriously, you don't need to be in a romantic relationship to have someone want to text you good morning and good night [I]every single day[/I] and to be there for you, and vice versa. I mean, that's literally what happens with my best friend. Sometimes what you really need is a damn good friendship.

[img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/geVmOnx.jpg[/img_thumb] Some of these Twitter memes hit way too close to home

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51071196]If she just had a breakup she may be reboundin but shes entitled to do that after breaking up with someone if she wants - but that doesn't mean much. Frankly from the evidence you've been given so far it seems hard to draw any conclusions. Does she flirt openly with you or stuff or is she just hanging out with you? She might be into you and not want to rebound with you or she might just be rebounding with you or any other number of things. My advice would be to keep hanging and having a good time with her but just don't be naive about it. [/QUOTE] i honestly don't know what constitutes as openly flirting, lol. in groups she tends to stick by me, and she's often the one to initiate sticking around after we go out to get food. we've been playing timesplitters 2 together and she's been bothering me about that lately. sound advice though, i'll stick it out. she's a super cool friend though, so if she doesn't wanna date me it's not even a loss in my opinion.

[QUOTE=ZombieWaffle;51070471]You both have pretty good points, I should've clarified what I meant when I said that. Mostly what I meant by "love yourself" is to not expect a relationship with another person to fix your own problems- I see an awful lot people moving into relationships and expecting getting into a relationship to fix their problems and it usually ends in disappointment.[/QUOTE]In the end I just want someone I can help and can help me.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51072229]In the end I just want someone I can help and can help me.[/QUOTE] yeah but that's sort of the problem. They can't help you and you can't help them even if you were together, so that's not what relationships are about in the first place even leaving aside the impossibility of fixing another person's problems

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51072229]In the end I just want someone I can help and can help me.[/QUOTE] relationships don't fix people if anything they shine lights on character flaws

how the fucke do i keep letting myself get roped up in this shit I gave my friend an ultimatum and a deep talk on how he needs to change or imma stop being his friend, and this is right after he got his girlfriend. He took it very well and he changed, but heres the thing, the girl he is dating is super nice and chill. He feels he doesnt get enough time with his girl, but the fact that his girl is super nice and always wants to include me is conflicting him. Im fine with backing off and giving him his 1 on 1 time with her. i always was fine from the beginning, but she is insistant that i come hangout with them. Now im at the point where i feel like the scumbag best friend caught in the middle. Even more also because she calls me telling me of the problems / getting to know me as friends and im just trynna lay low and let them be alone but i feel like an asshole for talking to her and it looks hella shady cause he has disagreements of her he doesn't want me to tell and she has gripes him she doesn't want me to tell The only thing i can do is keep playing ball until i find a way out of this (Sorry if the formatting is weird im writing this on a tablet)

The idea of someone's girlfriend calling their boyfriend's buddy to talk out relationship issues sounds pretty weird. I'd just stop talking to her about their relationship if you feel sketched out by it. There's nothing wrong with saying "hey, you're really nice and I like hanging out with you guys, but I don't really want to be involved in all this".

[QUOTE=Tacooo;51071278][img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/geVmOnx.jpg[/img_thumb] Some of these Twitter memes hit way too close to home[/QUOTE] Parties are such a odd on-or-off thing for me. Sometimes i am at party filled with strangers and i am having a blast and i could go on till the early morning but at i could also feel like i can't wait to get home soon while i am surrounded with friends. Like my girlfriend dragged me to this party of one of her friends and the only person i was talking with was this conspiracy dude believing the earth was flat, obama was installed by the illuminati and global warning is made up by the jews so they can earn more shekels.. What a blast

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51072351]yeah but that's sort of the problem. They can't help you and you can't help them even if you were together, so that's not what relationships are about in the first place even leaving aside the impossibility of fixing another person's problems[/QUOTE]I can do my best to help them, to be honest I did develop a deep crush on a girl once who had also been a bit of an outcast. It's great to help people out and get help, I'm not talking about some sort of co-dependence. You guys are very cryptic on what relationships are, they're not this or that or the other thing, you have to have this much maturity and you can't be depressed, have to love your self, don't try to be perfect, wanting a relationship means you shouldn't want a relationship. It's insane, just tell me something that inspires me to talk to random strangers. I understand you guys have experience, I understand you want to be useful, but I'd rather have advice on being confident and talking to people I haven't met, then learn from my own relationship experience be it good or bad than listen to 10 people's analysis of why I don't want a relationship and should be happy being single. Look, whatever reason I give for wanting a relationship someone will just tell me I don't want one. What makes this sort of advice laughable to me is that I haven't even gotten to a first date yet and people are telling me my relationship is going to be doomed. If I'm being honest I think I'm being groomed to be some sort of "perfect partner" while contradictorily being told to "be myself". My first relationship probably isn't going to last even if I did want a relationship for the right reasons. All that after date stuff is great for later on, but for right now I just want to know how talk to people and sound interesting. Once I've been on that first date I'll come back here and you guys can give me all the after date 'you'll get over her' or 'a relationship is this' advice. [QUOTE=LordCrypto;51072668]relationships don't fix people if anything they shine lights on character flaws[/QUOTE] After that calender joke, I'm not certain your advice has any weight to it. I don't want to fix anything, but it may be nice to care about someone.

You don't want advice, you want to be coddled. This thread isn't a good place for that. [QUOTE=RoboChimp;51073628]After that calender joke, I'm not certain your advice has any weight to it.[/QUOTE] Literally the laziest reason you could come up with to deflect good advice. Do you really want us to sit here and say "it's okay, some girl you find physically attractive enough to treat like a human being will fall into your lap eventually!" like it's some magical event that you have 0 control over? Do you seriously want us to fucking tell you that you have NO control over whether you get into a relationship and that self-improvement has no relation to whether people find you likeable? We can't say a few magic words and make you more confident. Life doesn't work like that. All we can do (and have done) is give advice for you to do it yourself.

We actually just shot down someone who said dating someone with mental illness isn't worth it like a few pages ago. But anyway, you're overcomplicating it. You want advice to talk to people? The most we can tell you is to find common ground with someone else. Like I said a few posts ago, the key to a good conversation is knowing when it's over. But until you're getting signs that they aren't really interested in chatting, it's cool to make small talk about the weather, about a holiday coming up, about a book they're holding, etc. You have to find an opener and not all of them will always work. Some people just won't want to be bothered and that's fine. Just try again with someone else later or the next day. Genuine compliments are always nice. Someone's shirt or shoes are cool, or someone has a nice car, or something like that. Even if it's not specifically girls you're giving compliments to, saying nice things about others - obviously you have to toe the line between genuine and creepy - can make you appear more pleasant and sociable to be around and gives the impression that you're open for socialization. It's a learning curve. For the most part, you learn by just getting out there, trying and failing.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51073628]I can do my best to help them, to be honest I did develop a deep crush on a girl once who had also been a bit of an outcast. It's great to help people out and get help, I'm not talking about some sort of co-dependence. You guys are very cryptic on what relationships are, they're not this or that or the other thing, you have to have this much maturity and you can't be depressed, have to love your self, don't try to be perfect, wanting a relationship means you shouldn't want a relationship. It's insane, just tell me something that inspires me to talk to random strangers. I understand you guys have experience, I understand you want to be useful, but I'd rather have advice on being confident and talking to people I haven't met, then learn from my own relationship experience be it good or bad than listen to 10 people's analysis of why I don't want a relationship and should be happy being single. Look, whatever reason I give for wanting a relationship someone will just tell me I don't want one. What makes this sort of advice laughable to me is that I haven't even gotten to a first date yet and people are telling me my relationship is going to be doomed. If I'm being honest I think I'm being groomed to be some sort of "perfect partner" while contradictorily being told to "be myself". My first relationship probably isn't going to last even if I did want a relationship for the right reasons. All that after date stuff is great for later on, but for right now I just want to know how talk to people and sound interesting. Once I've been on that first date I'll come back here and you guys can give me all the after date 'you'll get over her' or 'a relationship is this' advice.[/QUOTE] Alright, this is probably the best advice I can give you about approaching people. For girls, guys tend to think that we make the first move by approaching women but most of the time this is not true. Women give us subtle hints with their body language to encourage us to approach them if they like us. So if you get an inkling that a girl is doing this then just approach her and start a conversation. Worst case scenario is that you were wrong and its slightly awkward and you can move on with your life. Also remember that just because she invited you to talk to her doesn't really mean that she is looking for a relationship or to fuck you or anything. What she wants a conversation and probably sees you as a potential friend or boyfriend and wants to get to know you. If she seems uncomfortable or the conversation doesn't start to flow naturally (awkward silences, looking at phone, etc.) then she probably isn't interested so move on with your life. For approaching guys, literally just walk up and start a conversation. I do it all the time if I see someone who looks like they'd make a good friend. If he seems like he doesn't want to talk or be your friend then you can just end the conversation and you never have to talk to him again. All this can pretty much be summed up as being both self-aware and aware of others. If you walk around looking depressed and sad then people aren't going to want to talk to you which is why everyone here has been talking about the whole self-improvement stuff. Be confident, smile and let down your defences. You want to be open with people. This will be hard when you try it for the first time but just urge yourself to embrace whatever happens because its probably better than being apathetic about it. It'll get easier after that. Anyway, good luck to you my friend I hope you manage to turn your life around.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51073697]You're twisting our advice all around to make it seem contradictory. Where did anyone say "you can't be depressed"? I've been dating someone with depression for 6 years straight.[/QUOTE]I never intended to twist anything, I think perhaps I misinterpreted somethings. [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51073709]You don't want advice, you want to be coddled. This thread isn't a good place for that. Literally the laziest reason you could come up with to deflect good advice. Do you really want us to sit here and say "it's okay, some girl you find physically attractive enough to treat like a human being will fall into your lap eventually!" like it's some magical event that you have 0 control over? Do you seriously want us to fucking tell you that you have NO control over whether you get into a relationship and that self-improvement has no relation to whether people find you likeable? We can't say a few magic words and make you more confident. Life doesn't work like that. All we can do (and have done) is give advice for you to do it yourself.[/QUOTE]Coddled? I'm not familiar with that term, do you mean cuddled? You seem a bit frustrated with me so I apologise. What I want is for people to [B]stop [/B]telling me I don't want to be in a relationship because my reasons aren't good enough. I'm going to talk to people, I'm going ask people out and I'm going to look for that long term person. I'm not saying I want some trophy wife to materialise out of thin air. I just want to have an experience with someone. . I understand you can't make me confident I concede that point, but you can help me approach people by telling me what to say on approach and what seems creepy and what doesn't. [editline]20th September 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;51073725]We actually just shot down someone who said dating someone with mental illness isn't worth it like a few pages ago. But anyway, you're overcomplicating it. You want advice to talk to people? The most we can tell you is to find common ground with someone else. Like I said a few posts ago, the key to a good conversation is knowing when it's over. But until you're getting signs that they aren't really interested in chatting, it's cool to make small talk about the weather, about a holiday coming up, about a book they're holding, etc. You have to find an opener and not all of them will always work. Some people just won't want to be bothered and that's fine. Just try again with someone else later or the next day. Genuine compliments are always nice. Someone's shirt or shoes are cool, or someone has a nice car, or something like that. Even if it's not specifically girls you're giving compliments to, saying nice things about others - obviously you have to toe the line between genuine and creepy - can make you appear more pleasant and sociable to be around and gives the impression that you're open for socialization. It's a learning curve. For the most part, you learn by just getting out there, trying and failing.[/QUOTE]I have often had conversations with people, but once it's over, nothing usually comes of it due to the fact I don't know how to continue the conversation. I suppose I should just ask how to contact them and see how that goes. [editline]20th September 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Darth Ninja;51073755]Alright, this is probably the best advice I can give you about approaching people. For girls, guys tend to think that we make the first move by approaching women but most of the time this is not true. Women give us subtle hints with their body language to encourage us to approach them if they like us. So if you get an inkling that a girl is doing this then just approach her and start a conversation. Worst case scenario is that you were wrong and its slightly awkward and you can move on with your life. Also remember that just because she invited you to talk to her doesn't really mean that she is looking for a relationship or to fuck you or anything. What she wants a conversation and probably sees you as a potential friend or boyfriend and wants to get to know you. If she seems uncomfortable or the conversation doesn't start to flow naturally (awkward silences, looking at phone, etc.) then she probably isn't interested so move on with your life. For approaching guys, literally just walk up and start a conversation. I do it all the time if I see someone who looks like they'd make a good friend. If he seems like he doesn't want to talk or be your friend then you can just end the conversation and you never have to talk to him again. All this can pretty much be summed up as being both self-aware and aware of others. If you walk around looking depressed and sad then people aren't going to want to talk to you which is why everyone here has been talking about the whole self-improvement stuff. Be confident, smile and let down your defences. You want to be open with people. This will be hard when you try it for the first time but just urge yourself to embrace whatever happens because its probably better than being apathetic about it. It'll get easier after that. Anyway, good luck to you my friend I hope you manage to turn your life around.[/QUOTE]Interesting, I have slightly negative bias when people look at me, I just assume I've shaved the wrong way or she wants me to avoid looking at her which I usually adhear to. So I probably miss those hints, I guess I'll have to be more vigilant. I don't go around looking depressed in public, nor do I bring it up in conversation. But, I do have borderline aspergers , so I'm always worried I'm doing something wrong or creepy.