Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=ElectronicG19;51103674]Alright lads. I went back to uni yesterday and went to some predrinks at a friend of a friends house, and they have a new housemate and she seems pretty cool. How do I start a conversation with her without adding her on facebook and messaging her like some sort of stalker. We didn't really talk much yesterday and the house I was at isn't the sort of place I can just turn up to. Just to make it clear, I have no issues with talking to people/girls, it's just how do I get myself into the situation where I can talk to her.[/QUOTE] tell your friend their housemate seems cool and maybe they'll wingman you

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;51104789]Similar story here, I've been in an LDR for over two months now. I don't really get why everyone shoots it down tbh. Yes, it's hard, but as long as you're good at communicating and you actually trust the other person, it's very possible.[/QUOTE] People shoot LDRs down because to them the idea of being in a relationship with someone you cannot physically see, hold, kiss, or be with every day is unthinkable, unrealistic, and therefore impossible. It's not, but as you said an LDR requires communication and trust from both people in the LDR. But most importantly it requires a raw persistence/will to make the relationship work. The moment that will dwindles and fades in either of the two lovers, the relationship itself is soon to follow. I was in an LDR for a year and 1 month with my last ex. I was committed, trusted her, and was determined to make it all work out for the two of us. She however was not, and I could tell during conversation that her interest and will to remain invested in us both was fading. So she opted to betray my trust and make out with some guy in the back of his car on their first date - while she was still with me. So what did I get out of the LDR? A lot of "I told you so's" from friends and family and a big wake up call back into reality. Stories like mine are what strengthen the stigma that LDRs are doomed to fail. Because very many of them do. But that shouldn't stop people from trying if they want, because if they truly care about one another, they will succeed. I did not because my ex stopped caring about me, and looking back I think it's better this way. I can do way better than the likes of her. So, yeah. LDRs have this stigma and indeed they are hard. Very hard. After my experience I will personally never enter into another LDR no matter how much the girl attracts me. I will say they can work but I won't sugarcoat it, the odds are unfortunately extremely against you. The distance, the loneliness, the desire to see, touch, kiss and not being able to, the negativity from others about your relationship...this stuff will impact both lovers hard. I cannot stress enough just how much it can hurt both lovers to be separated like that, no matter how tough they think they are. Just more reasons people see LDRs as doomed to fail...but the right people can make it work. If any of you here are in an LDR or ever happen to find yourselves in one, do not be like my ex. Just hold on, and if you really can't do it anymore and must let go, then don't be a heartless shit about it. Good luck.

And the paranoia starts: I'm at uni and worried the guys don't like me and the girls think I'm crushing on them.

[QUOTE=Rossy167;51106313]And the paranoia starts: I'm at uni and worried the guys don't like me and the girls think I'm crushing on them.[/QUOTE] My flat/course mate has mentioned her boyfriend a lot and I'm not sure if she's unnecessarily hinting or if she's just talking about him (I think the former to start and the latter as we've chatted more). Eh, I've found if you let yourself have fun and use the fact no one fucking knows you it's far easier to dance and shit at clubs. That said I have to get up in 4 hours.

It really sucks feeling totally untrusted like that. Sometimes it feels bad when people assume your intentions. One time I was standing outside Walmart because I didn't have a ride home (I walked there from home because I was feeling down and wanted to get out of the house) and behind me I heard a cart halt to a stop, I looked behind me and there's this woman with her cart halfway through the door staring at me. After a few seconds of staring at each other because I wasn't sure what I was seeing I asked if she's stuck there and she starts questioning what I'm doing and I explain that I'm waiting/trying to get home. She reverses her cart and warns me that she's going to go get someone before she exits. I just say ok. After she's gone back inside I wasn't sure if she meant to get someone to confront me or to walk her to her car, but I walked down to the bench near Barnes and nobles/party city, sat down, then cried. I was already feeling pretty down and having someone presume I was going to hurt them just from looking at me only made me feel worse. I wish people could trust each other. I really hate feeling like I'm scaring somebody.

-snip, no one cares-

[QUOTE=NeonpieDFTBA;51106527]My flat/course mate has mentioned her boyfriend a lot and I'm not sure if she's unnecessarily hinting or if she's just talking about him (I think the former to start and the latter as we've chatted more). Eh, I've found if you let yourself have fun and use the fact no one fucking knows you it's far easier to dance and shit at clubs. That said I have to get up in 4 hours.[/QUOTE] I just had a 2 hour long debate with the UKIP supporter in our flat, which was probably a mistake, he could genuinely argue his side though, which I've literally never experienced before. I've heared "send the refugees back with AK47s" and "fuck the establishment!". Drunken but civil political debates are interesting. We were both a bit condescending at times. Partying was interesting, because I just tried to get progressively drunker and drunker to get into it and still had those worries in the back of my head. I had fun though, particularly when Mr Brightside and All The Small Things came on because I had 2 songs where I actually knew what to do with myself. Mainly flail about and scream the lyrics like you mean it. Oh and don't do Jaeger Bombs because they at least gave me and the other lot 90% Red Bull and it prevented me from getting drunk AND I'm up at 4am (also gotta be up in 4 hours) and I can't sleep.

I need advice for meeting girls at university I go out a lot, usually there are like 2-3 days a week I don't go out, either to save money or because I have class the next day. During the day, I turn up to class, go back to my accommodation during breaks for food/to kill time, and then go back to campus if I have any more lessons. Should I try to join any societies or spend more time on campus? [editline]26th September 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=NeonpieDFTBA;51106527]That said I have to get up in 4 hours.[/QUOTE] what is it with us UK boys and not going to sleep

[QUOTE=IAreLegend;51106883]I need advice for meeting girls at university I go out a lot, usually there are like 2-3 days a week I don't go out, either to save money or because I have class the next day. During the day, I turn up to class, go back to my accommodation during breaks for food/to kill time, and then go back to campus if I have any more lessons. Should I try to join any societies or spend more time on campus? [editline]26th September 2016[/editline] what is it with us UK boys and not going to sleep[/QUOTE] yeah clubs and things like that are always really good for meeting people and killing time do you not live on campus though? i'd imagine that would hinder getting to know people a decent amount but if you can't change that just spend the time you can and want going to things/meetings and just seeing if you can meet people on campus. also kind of depends on what you like to do but try going to more parties if you can or want to. at least for me that's when i've always had the most fun and met a lot of people but i'd presume that not everyone is like that or wants to be in that scene a lot

I live about a 10 minute walk away from campus. I've been meeting a lot of people, just not meeting any girls that I'd be interested in being in a relationship with or whatever. I guess I'll keep doing the same, try and join a club I'm into or something. I feel like given enough time I'm bound to meet someone. thanks for the help my dude

[QUOTE=IAreLegend;51106883]I need advice for meeting girls at university I go out a lot, usually there are like 2-3 days a week I don't go out, either to save money or because I have class the next day. During the day, I turn up to class, go back to my accommodation during breaks for food/to kill time, and then go back to campus if I have any more lessons. Should I try to join any societies or spend more time on campus? [editline]26th September 2016[/editline] what is it with us UK boys and not going to sleep[/QUOTE] Freshers week and engineers organising welcome talks without understanding freshers.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51103556]Go for a pair of black pants.[/QUOTE] i couldn't, my hair was too long and my shirt was too shit. i got a haircut and my sister bought me a shirt. interview went well and i have the job pretty much, going in tomorrow for a sit in to watch how they work before they start me. however i have an interview at a much better paying position tomorrow morning as well so depending on how that goes, i might not end up going in to the first job in the afternoon and just calling to let them know whats up.

someone said in this thread at one point that relationships expose character flaws, and thats real af cause im seeing it first-hand with my best friend's fresh relationship, and its pretty eye opening to see what goes on behind the scenes and behind the adorable pictures/statuses that get posted on facebook. all i can say is if anyone wants the 'perfect' relationship, what you see from others is not what you are exactly getting

That's true for a lot of things outside of relationships as well. We often compare our worst to everyone else's best, our own private weaknesses and flaws to the things others choose to share publicly.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51110148]That's true for a lot of things outside of relationships as well. We often compare our worst to everyone else's best, our own private weaknesses and flaws to the things others choose to share publicly.[/QUOTE] this bullshit keeps me from enjoying my life so hard while rationally i'm perfectly aware of this and have lots of real life examples proving it, the damn jealousy and envy keep getting to me the worst is making dumb assumptions like "oh i bet he/she is doing [I]this[/I] or [I]that[/I] right now" and then you accidentally learn that wasn't the case, not even close but you still don't learn

Just being able to see some of my friends both privately and publicly helps me a bit. A year ago I met this guy in my first semester of Russian who seemed like one of the "cool kids", who joked around with everyone and chatted with a lot of people in the class while I kind of hid in the corner. He looked like he had his shit together. Now we're best friends and more than anything we bonded over our weaknesses and our fears. He thinks of himself as incredibly awkward and socially retarded, but I see him as brave. I've watched him hit on women with the most hilariously awkward lines, shit I would never say out loud in a million years, and somehow make it work. It's just crazy seeing someone you know acting outgoing and bolder than you ever could be in public and then have the same person crying on your shoulder when you're alone.

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;51106694]It really sucks feeling totally untrusted like that. Sometimes it feels bad when people assume your intentions. One time I was standing outside Walmart because I didn't have a ride home (I walked there from home because I was feeling down and wanted to get out of the house) and behind me I heard a cart halt to a stop, I looked behind me and there's this woman with her cart halfway through the door staring at me. After a few seconds of staring at each other because I wasn't sure what I was seeing I asked if she's stuck there and she starts questioning what I'm doing and I explain that I'm waiting/trying to get home. She reverses her cart and warns me that she's going to go get someone before she exits. I just say ok. After she's gone back inside I wasn't sure if she meant to get someone to confront me or to walk her to her car, but I walked down to the bench near Barnes and nobles/party city, sat down, then cried. I was already feeling pretty down and having someone presume I was going to hurt them just from looking at me only made me feel worse. I wish people could trust each other. I really hate feeling like I'm scaring somebody.[/QUOTE] I know the feeling. There used to be this one girl during sophomore year which I have known for like 3 years. I talked and Interacted to her a lot and I actually thought we were somewhat friends. But last year when our old group pretty much dispersed she started to treat me like I was some kind of monster. I was very reclusive on the last years of Highschool because of the shit I had to go trough. I ended up getting the fame of being a constantly angry person because of that. I would get angry most of the times but it was never without reason. People would just assume things about me even thought they never even talked to me at all. And this girl was no different. She started treating me like I was some kind of animal that would lunge on her or try to hurt her whenever I went to talk with her. She would I shit you not physically cower like she never met me before. Even thought I never threatened or beat up anyone during my years on that school. Sometimes you gotta wonder if the people that do this know that they are hurting the other. I was so sad because of this that I deleted her contacts and anything that had to do with her once Highschool was over. People that do stuff like this don't deserve to be called friends.

I got ghosted this weekend, TWICE. It's ok, I guess, but it gets to you in some way.

Tinder is kind of cool and I'm surprised at how many matches I manage to get, but everyone on there so far has been really boring. I suggested self-euthanasia as a date idea in my profile to try and weed out super boring people but I think they just don't know what it means lol

That's weird, dude.

[QUOTE=srobins;51111188]Tinder is kind of cool and I'm surprised at how many matches I manage to get, but everyone on there so far has been really boring. I suggested self-euthanasia as a date idea in my profile to try and weed out super boring people but I think they just don't know what it means lol[/QUOTE] That's probably just going to put off all the non-crazies. Of course those might be the boring people I guess.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51111218]That's weird, dude.[/QUOTE] My Tinder profile is basically a joke profile for now because I don't have any very good pics. I finally found my camera battery so I'm going to take a decent self-portrait and clean it up but.. I thought I might catch some funny people with that? Apparently not lol

nothing wrong with having a sense of humor on your profiles I used to get adds on okcupid a lot and I think on top of stupid jokes as answers I left a few American Psycho quotes, worked fine

I'm also really amazed at how similar 90% of profiles are to a tee. If somebody had told me that everyone's profile on Tinder was "buy me pizza / i love adventures / if you have a dog swipe right" I would have said you're exaggerating, there's no way.. But here we are?

[QUOTE=srobins;51111284]I'm also really amazed at how similar 90% of profiles are to a tee. If somebody had told me that everyone's profile on Tinder was "buy me pizza / i love adventures / if you have a dog swipe right" I would have said you're exaggerating, there's no way.. But here we are?[/QUOTE] When I was using OKC, if someone included "Netflix" in their profile, I usually would close the page.

you a hulu person?

It's just such a boring and arbitrary thing to put in your profile. Everybody uses Netflix, the fact that you watch it is a given.

Likes: breathing, air, ketchup Dislikes: death, isis, not-netflix

[QUOTE=srobins;51111284]I'm also really amazed at how similar 90% of profiles are to a tee. If somebody had told me that everyone's profile on Tinder was "buy me pizza / i love adventures / if you have a dog swipe right" I would have said you're exaggerating, there's no way.. But here we are?[/QUOTE] I went through the same thing. I thought I'd find so many kinds of unique and different people and yet every profile is like "Looking for a partner in crime. Sometimes I binge-watch shows. If you're looking for sex swipe left." It's stunning how many people in the world have nothing interesting to say about themselves

My best friend broke up with her. His first relationship, not even 2 weeks. She can never make time with him and always acts petty towards him when he wants to vent the problems. If youve never had a friend you've known for years who've you shared your problems, achievements, ups and downs with, and basically consider them brothers, look soulcrushingly defeated and depressed, it really takes a toll on your mind knowing that all you can do is not enough. I also never realized how much he cared about me until he told me that he felt like such a bad friend that when i was gone one time he literally teared up for how bad he felt. It even proves that i know absolutely nothing about the people im closest to i need a fucking blunt