Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

I have this girl friend(#1), we were really close until a month ago(hang out, talk daily about anything and anyone). Here's what happened, I got invited by another girl friend of mine (#2) to hang out with her and some friends a day after her birthday party, #1 hates/dislikes #2, but I get along with both of them just fine. Well, the day after the hang out, #1 completely shuts me off and stops talking to me, doesn't even look to me or say hi back when we cross paths. As I said, this has been going almost a month now, to me its a childish act, we are all in our mid 20's, I don't get this!... A friend of ours, a mutual one, talked to her(#1) about this situation asking what happened between us, she told him that she wasn't mad but we just don't get along anymore and that and I quote "I don't know him anymore" because I was the one that stopped talking to her all of a sudden, somehow it is my fault(whaaat?). Not really sure what to do, she was clearly not ok with me going there (i don't know why, it's not up to her concern or matter) but I am thinking of being the adult of the friendship and talk to her, ask what was really wrong and why act this way, but that might be worse? What do you guys think about this situation? Oh and we see each other everyday, #1, #2, myself and the mutual friend I mentioned because we go to the same place to work/study and this is really, I don't know, uncomfortable?

Embrace the potential uncomfortableness and go confront her. She's in her mid 20's, this isn't grade school for fuck's sake. Tell her how childish you find her behavior and let her know that, yes, she is being super irrational. If she's going to continue acting like that, then she's not really a good person to hang with. Friends shouldn't act like that when someone they know hangs out with someone they don't like.

[QUOTE=Dahaka32;51115722]I have this girl friend(#1), we were really close until a month ago(hang out, talk daily about anything and anyone). Here's what happened, I got invited by another girl friend of mine (#2) to hang out with her and some friends a day after her birthday party, #1 hates/dislikes #2, but I get along with both of them just fine. Well, the day after the hang out, #1 completely shuts me off and stops talking to me, doesn't even look to me or say hi back when we cross paths. As I said, this has been going almost a month now, to me its a childish act, we are all in our mid 20's, I don't get this!... A friend of ours, a mutual one, talked to her(#1) about this situation asking what happened between us, she told him that she wasn't mad but we just don't get along anymore and that and I quote "I don't know him anymore" because I was the one that stopped talking to her all of a sudden, somehow it is my fault(whaaat?). Not really sure what to do, she was clearly not ok with me going there (i don't know why, it's not up to her concern or matter) but I am thinking of being the adult of the friendship and talk to her, ask what was really wrong and why act this way, but that might be worse? What do you guys think about this situation? Oh and we see each other everyday, #1, #2, myself and the mutual friend I mentioned because we go to the same place to work/study and this is really, I don't know, uncomfortable?[/QUOTE] She's (girl 1) trying to control you. If you did get with her shed be possessive and controlling and that's shit. if you still wanna be friends confront her just say ' you've been shunning me wassap' she'll deny coz it's embarrassing so make it easier ' we used to talk and you stopped written I started talking to x' confront/challenge but don't be aggressive, be assertive and reassuring she feels threatened that you're not interested in taking to her, show her she's wrong have a chat. She can't help it is probably something in her life maybe bullying or some childhood Friendship gone bad you can be a friend and help her self improve while accepting her flaws. you can be a normal person for being creeped out and put off by her tude you can be a pushover passenger in your own life and let her make decisions for you (don't) you can be an Asshole exploit her insecurity, fuck her then abandon her I had an ex like this we remained friends but she was too controlling we drifted apart coz I got sick of it (I saw it as an obstacle in the way of me controlling my life) I must admit I do miss having her as a friend in an entirely platonic way. Live and learn though! Imo talk to her you win or lose but you get rid of tension and take control

[QUOTE=mdeceiver79;51117054]you can be a friend and help her self improve while accepting her flaws. you can be a normal person for being creeped out and put off by her tude you can be a pushover passenger in your own life and let her make decisions for you (don't) [B]you can be an Asshole exploit her insecurity, fuck her then abandon her[/B][/QUOTE] wait what

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;51117199]wait what[/QUOTE] Some people might do that. It'd be dishonest to not list it. Maybe thats what hes into I know some people like that.

gotta take control a these crazy bitches can't reason with em or just have a chat with her and if she can't handle it then she's got her own problems to deal with

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;51117199]wait what[/QUOTE] D.E.N.N.I.S. Demonstrate value Engage Physically Nurture Dependence Neglect emotionally Inspire hope Separate entirely [editline]27th September 2016[/editline] It was a joke system to make chicks crazy about you used in S5E10 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Some people actually do it (though probably not inspired by the show, probably doing it naturally) and even the guy who plays Dennis said "What's sick about this system is that it actually does work". I wouldn't recommend it but it's probably what he's referring to

So, like, I'm really bad at picking up signals but there's this girl who lives in my hall who goes out of her way to talk to me a lot, and takes even the smallest opportunities to grab my hand or touch my arm, and she kinda constantly talks about how much she wishes she had a boyfriend or someone to cuddle with, and she kinda just goes overboard with being cute around me also she's super cute and really sweet and just seems like a wonderful person also she's currently doing homework on my bed because she "felt too lonely doing it anywhere else" even though I can hear people doing homework in the common room right now I am incompetent, what do I do

I've gotten quite a few smiles from random girls I pass on campus, and this girl came up to me and started a conversation that went really well after math class, I blanked and forgot to ask for her number, though. Not really actively looking for someone right now, still kind of working on myself, but it's nice to know that I'm somewhat attractive.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51119008]Ask her if she wants to watch netflix[/QUOTE] I don't have a TV, only computers and I don't have speakers

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;51118990]So, like, I'm really bad at picking up signals but there's this girl who lives in my hall who goes out of her way to talk to me a lot, and takes even the smallest opportunities to grab my hand or touch my arm, and she kinda constantly talks about how much she wishes she had a boyfriend or someone to cuddle with, and she kinda just goes overboard with being cute around me also she's super cute and really sweet and just seems like a wonderful person also she's currently doing homework on my bed because she "felt too lonely doing it anywhere else" even though I can hear people doing homework in the common room right now I am incompetent, what do I do[/QUOTE] It sounds like she's totally into you. I could be wrong, of course, but she's giving a lot of really good signals. Ask her out to bowling or some other generic fun thing you can do in town. Let her know you're interested, too, and if y'all click, it should fall into place really easy.

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;51119075]It sounds like she's totally into you. I could be wrong, of course, but she's giving a lot of really good signals. Ask her out to bowling or some other generic fun thing you can do in town. Let her know you're interested, too, and if y'all click, it should fall into place really easy.[/QUOTE] I really hope so. Maybe I should just straight-up ask, knowing how bad I am at flirting.

If she's already on your bed its Netflix time dude [editline]28th September 2016[/editline] You have a 0.00% chance of failure, go for it

Yeah dude that's pretty much assured. Lock that shit down if you want to

[QUOTE=srobins;51119321]If she's already on your bed its Netflix time dude [editline]28th September 2016[/editline] You have a 0.00% chance of failure, go for it[/QUOTE] my laptop has crappy speakers :cry:

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;51119597]my laptop has crappy speakers :cry:[/QUOTE] do not let small things like this stop you from having a good time with her edit: there are other things you can do if you're opposed to netflix on a laptop

I have a hard time understanding what anyone could see in me so this is really kind of a big shock

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;51119039]I don't have a TV, only computers and I don't have speakers[/QUOTE] Go buy some shitty speakers pronto or something. Borrow some from a bro if you have to. Oh wait shes there right now yeah fuck the speakers you won't need them.

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;51119597]my laptop has crappy speakers :cry:[/QUOTE] SHE AIN'T THERE FOR THE SOUND SYSTEM

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;51119647]I have a hard time understanding what anyone could see in me so this is really kind of a big shock[/QUOTE] Maybe I'm late, but get off Facepunch and go for it. Now. Go. Doesn't matter what, just suggest doing something. Straight up ask if you have to. If she likes you, she'll just find it cute.

Well, she had to leave for a while, but I'll ask her if she wants to get breakfast tomorrow. [editline]27th September 2016[/editline] It's not like I'll never see her again. She lives literally 25 feet from me and last night she stole my phone out of my pocket to put her number in, so things are okay

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51119855]Don't take too much time going to the next step, or she'll lose interest[/QUOTE] The way you phrased that makes it sound kind of sterile and creepy but I get what you mean

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51119876]Well, she'll probably assume you're not interested after she's doing some pretty big hinting with no feedback for it[/QUOTE] Yeah. I'm scared that I've been reading things wrong and she's not really interested in me, she just wants to be friends or something, so I'm pretty apprehensive about taking another step, especially since I've never done this before

I've never had a just-friend stick their hand in my pocket.

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;51119890]Yeah. I'm scared that I've been reading things wrong and she's not really interested in me, she just wants to be friends or something, so I'm pretty apprehensive about taking another step, especially since I've never done this before[/QUOTE] I think people have posted about this before but it's probably worth reiterating: It's better to err on the side of being a little overconfident than second-guessing everything to the point of exhaustion and missing out on some great opportunities. I think everyone here will agree that from what you've described she's very interested and basically just sitting around waiting for you to make a move. Better to act on it than miss out, and worst case scenario she just goes "oh, I just want to be friends" and you've got yourself a cool friend. [editline]28th September 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=OvB;51119896]I've never had a just-friend stick their hand in my pocket.[/QUOTE] "Haha stop man, that tickles!"

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;51119890]Yeah. I'm scared that I've been reading things wrong and she's not really interested in me, she just wants to be friends or something, so I'm pretty apprehensive about taking another step, especially since I've never done this before[/QUOTE] If a girl steals your phone to puts her number in it, and comes chill on your bed, then im sure she's at least somewhat interested. Go on ask her out!

I wish someone was into me like she is into you [editline]28th September 2016[/editline] The point is you gotta be into her too :smug:

[QUOTE=srobins;51120113]I think people have posted about this before but it's probably worth reiterating: It's better to err on the side of being a little overconfident than second-guessing everything to the point of exhaustion and missing out on some great opportunities. I think everyone here will agree that from what you've described she's very interested and basically just sitting around waiting for you to make a move. Better to act on it than miss out, and worst case scenario she just goes "oh, I just want to be friends" and you've got yourself a cool friend. [editline]28th September 2016[/editline] "Haha stop man, that tickles!"[/QUOTE] I'm concerned about the possibility that I might do something that comes across as creepy, because I'm not super great with people in general. But oh well, I'm going to try. We made plans for breakfast tomorrow, and maybe during that I'll ask her if she wants to go out and do something later in the day. Shame we're both so busy with classes though. [editline]27th September 2016[/editline] also I have absolutely no idea how to ask a girl out [editline]27th September 2016[/editline] but she's so cute and wonderful, and I've made so many mistakes with hesitating too much or keeping feelings to myself, so I figure if I'm going to make another mistake, might as well make it in the opposite direction

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;51120311]I'm concerned about the possibility that I might do something that comes across as creepy, because I'm not super great with people in general. But oh well, I'm going to try. We made plans for breakfast tomorrow, and maybe during that I'll ask her if she wants to go out and do something later in the day. Shame we're both so busy with classes though. [editline]27th September 2016[/editline] also I have absolutely no idea how to ask a girl out [editline]27th September 2016[/editline] but she's so cute and wonderful, and I've made so many mistakes with hesitating too much or keeping feelings to myself, so I figure if I'm going to make another mistake, might as well make it in the opposite direction[/QUOTE] Yeah you should definitely push yourself to do this, it'll be good for you

I have a broad question for you folks. Do you think a lack of trust in a person is justified even when they haven't done or said anything definitive to warrant it? For context, I've been thinking about my time with my ex. Despite how much I liked her, I don't think I ever truly trusted her. I don't really have a solid, concrete reason not to trust her, either. I just have a lot of smaller red flags that came off as weird to me at the time. Admittedly, I have a lot of trust issues when it comes to infidelity (and it constantly affects my actions and decision making, which ia a huge bummer), and it's entirely possible that I was just projecting my insecurity onto her. It ended up killing our relationship, too. I just couldn't shake the feeling that she was being dishonest in some way. Not infidelity per se, but something in general. That said, I can't change any of that now. However, my question remains. So yea answer it if ya want