Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

Hey guys. People I know are planning to spend the weekend together, but they haven't invited me to join them yet. Like, we've been chilling on TS together for the past week or so and they keep talking about it, they even told some other guy that he could come even though he lives across the entire country. Would it be weird for me to ask if I could also join them? Like, asking for an invite? I'm not a very social person and I don't want to seem weird or pushy or something, I dunno.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51184970]Even if she is, that's her problem, not yours. And I'm only speaking anecdotally here, but most people I know who have been through trauma would not appreciate being patronized and coddled like they can't handle their own problems.[/QUOTE] She isn't being coddled or patronized, I don't think I've ever let on that I noticed. I talk to her like anyone else. Figured it might be better if I don't directly say something about it. I was gonna let her talk about it when she felt like talking about it. [editline]10th October 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Ray551;51185590]Hey guys. People I know are planning to spend the weekend together, but they haven't invited me to join them yet. Like, we've been chilling on TS together for the past week or so and they keep talking about it, they even told some other guy that he could come even though he lives across the entire country. Would it be weird for me to ask if I could also join them? Like, asking for an invite? I'm not a very social person and I don't want to seem weird or pushy or something, I dunno.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't think it'd be weird. Maybe something like "Do you think I could join you guys?". If they decline, I'd advise not arguing, and telling them to have a good time. [editline]10th October 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=HumbleTH;51185059]How do I loosen up? Every time I'm in any type of social situation, I tend to act way too tense and I'm just unable to have fun. I also can't really hold a conversation with anyone but a few close friends and small talk seems like a foreign concept to me.[/QUOTE] When I'm scared or tense with people I try to tighten my brain and I guess inhibit feeling. It's hard to explain. I don't know how I'd teach it to anyone but I sort of pretend the feeling in my chest and thoughts aren't there. Maybe my history of going to acting classes and practice made this? You could also think about the worst outcome and how unlikely that outcome is. Sorry, not very helpful. I'd also like to hear some good advice on this subject.

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;51185059]How do I loosen up? Every time I'm in any type of social situation, I tend to act way too tense and I'm just unable to have fun. I also can't really hold a conversation with anyone but a few close friends and small talk seems like a foreign concept to me.[/QUOTE] I need a few more details to answer that concisely. Are you uncomfortable with social interaction? Are you forcing yourself into it? Is it a bad environment? Figuring out why you're not having fun is the key to loosening up.

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;51185059]How do I loosen up? Every time I'm in any type of social situation, I tend to act way too tense and I'm just unable to have fun. I also can't really hold a conversation with anyone but a few close friends and small talk seems like a foreign concept to me.[/QUOTE] Small talk leads to big talk. Focus on picking up on details they mention and elaborate on those. That's literally how conversations escalate into meaningful ones. You'll be able to discern if they'd be a good friend to you after a bit of discussion.

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;51185957]She isn't being coddled or patronized, I don't think I've ever let on that I noticed. I talk to her like anyone else. Figured it might be better if I don't directly say something about it. I was gonna let her talk about it when she felt like talking about it. [editline]10th October 2016[/editline] I wouldn't think it'd be weird. Maybe something like "Do you think I could join you guys?". If they decline, I'd advise not arguing, and telling them to have a good time. [editline]10th October 2016[/editline] When I'm scared or tense with people I try to tighten my brain and I guess inhibit feeling. It's hard to explain. I don't know how I'd teach it to anyone but I sort of pretend the feeling in my chest and thoughts aren't there. Maybe my history of going to acting classes and practice made this? You could also think about the worst outcome and how unlikely that outcome is. Sorry, not very helpful. I'd also like to hear some good advice on this subject.[/QUOTE] I don't understand. If she didn't tell you about her having that problem how did you find out? And if she has a boyfriend and kid it sounds like he should be the on helping her deal with that.

[QUOTE=plunger435;51186132]I don't understand. If she didn't tell you about her having that problem how did you find out? And if she has a boyfriend and kid it sounds like he should be the on helping her deal with that.[/QUOTE] From what I saw and experienced in school with her over the course of a year. It becomes obvious after even a few interactions. I also expressed to my coach that I was feeling nervous/on my toes around her because she seems scared and acts strangely when you try to talk to her, and they told me that her old school bullied her. Whether that's the root of it, I wouldn't know. All I know is she acted strangely, seemingly in fear if a guy talked to her and I noticed her school schedule was shaken up to accommodate her. I also was walking with another friend and my former boss, Heather when we both saw her looking sad on some stairs and Heather took initiative and sat beside her and talked to her about it. I didn't know what to do so I just waited. I vaguely remember her saying something about being shy but I'm not sure if it was at me. Other students also organized card signings and birthday parties and such for her, one told me I should get her dum dum lollipops and chocolate ice cream as a birthday present last year, so I did. I was in a school made for people with issues, whether it be social, legal, or just life happening. I was there myself because I ran out on my senior year due to an abusive SO, they let anyone of all ages come and finish their diploma (not a GED). Lot of felons, single parents, socially awkward etc., even a 70 year old woman was in my algebra class. I don't think a single person there was problem free, and I don't mean that in an insulting way. I also agree, which is I was surprised to hear she had a boyfriend, and even more surprised to see him holding a baby when he visited the school one day. I don't know the story about that. For all I could know the boyfriend is the reason she's nervous to talk to males. It's possible the baby isn't hers or even his. I never bothered to ask. She doesn't talk about them. She also posts those "cry for help" type things on facebook. Just the other day I saw her post a thing saying that she needs to be constantly reminded that someone's cool with her because of crippling anxiety making her think otherwise. I may have worded it wrong when explaining, I really do think she's a cool friend but I also noticed the peculiar behavior, it's not the cause for a feigned friendship. I'd just rather not have friends think I'm going to hurt them, or that anyone would do so without cause. I know I can't help her through it entirely, but I figured at the least I could be a good friend, and in my opinion, from my own experiences with my own problems, it can mean a lot. I try to be there for as many friends as I can. But, like her, I am also a bit anxietal and I foolishly assumed that what could possibly just be forgetting a setting or being busy or something unguessable was related to what I've seen and even more foolishly assumed it's me. I don't know if it is or not but now that I'm in my right state of mind I can see why it was silly to jump like that. If she was still scared of me she probably wouldn't have answered the add. Or maybe her anxiety comes in waves. I have no idea. Either which way, I've chosen to just ignore it for now. I regret that I let anxiety get the better of me and posted about it before I could rationalize it myself. I'm probably gonna start taking the anti-anxiety medication when I wake up instead of at 6pm.

[QUOTE=ZombieWaffle;51185993]I need a few more details to answer that concisely. Are you uncomfortable with social interaction? Are you forcing yourself into it? Is it a bad environment? Figuring out why you're not having fun is the key to loosening up.[/QUOTE] This was a specific situation that made me think about this. I was playing ping pong with a coworker (we're both 17) and I felt pretty uncomfortable there. First of all, I'm a fairly competitive person and more often than not, it can be hard for me to shake off the notion of playing to win. Second of all, which I think is a pretty big part of the problem, I just felt like a klutz most of the time, especially when I went to get the ball. I'm a fairly tall person and I did fumble around a few times. Third, I just had no idea how to respond most of the time. Pretty much anything I said was mumbled and just a random series of words that could probably fit together. Oftentimes, I have no idea how to respond to the simplest questions. Just off typing this, I guess that my main problem is putting too much weight on what other people think of me. I have like 2-3 people that I talk to fairly regularly and once I get to know someone, I just stop caring as much what they think of some random shit I do. I think I know the cause of this too. I've been bullied throughout 4th-8th grade (just 4 years though, as i skipped 6th grade due to moving), most extensively through 4th-5th grade, and I think that stigma is still here and I tend to be paranoid about my every move. How can I combat those feelings?

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;51186267]This was a specific situation that made me think about this. I was playing ping pong with a coworker (we're both 17) and I felt pretty uncomfortable there. First of all, I'm a fairly competitive person and more often than not, it can be hard for me to shake off the notion of playing to win. Second of all, which I think is a pretty big part of the problem, I just felt like a klutz most of the time, especially when I went to get the ball. I'm a fairly tall person and I did fumble around a few times. Third, I just had no idea how to respond most of the time. Pretty much anything I said was mumbled and just a random series of words that could probably fit together. Oftentimes, I have no idea how to respond to the simplest questions. Just off typing this, I guess that my main problem is putting too much weight on what other people think of me. I have like 2-3 people that I talk to fairly regularly and once I get to know someone, I just stop caring as much what they think of some random shit I do. I think I know the cause of this too. I've been bullied throughout 4th-8th grade (just 4 years though, as i skipped 6th grade due to moving), most extensively through 4th-5th grade, and I think that stigma is still here and I tend to be paranoid about my every move. How can I combat those feelings?[/QUOTE] Yeah, middle school is a rough time for a lot of people and many end up damaged. Remember, you're there with others to have a good time- don't let your competitive edge get in the way of your enjoyment, it's not about who wins in a match like that. Being clumsy is also a pretty minor issue, not many people will remember that about you and it, by and large, won't affect their opinions of you. Don't let whatever happened to you in those four years damage your social life now, you've grown quite a bit since then, after all. Concerning your communication issue, I'm not entirely certain what to say- I think you could be too focused on making a good impression and far too worried about other people's perceptions, so you get too caught up in those feelings to make meaningful conversation, rather than letting your thoughts flow naturally. Seriously, you nailed it on the main problem, the solution is simple (on paper): stop worrying so much about what other people think of you! At the end of the day, the only opinion that truly matters concerning yourself is, well, yourself.(and most people never remember others' fleeting mistakes anyways)

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;51186216]From what I saw and experienced in school with her over the course of a year. It becomes obvious after even a few interactions. I also expressed to my coach that I was feeling nervous/on my toes around her because she seems scared and acts strangely when you try to talk to her, and they told me that her old school bullied her. Whether that's the root of it, I wouldn't know. All I know is she acted strangely, seemingly in fear if a guy talked to her and I noticed her school schedule was shaken up to accommodate her. I also was walking with another friend and my former boss, Heather when we both saw her looking sad on some stairs and Heather took initiative and sat beside her and talked to her about it. I didn't know what to do so I just waited. I vaguely remember her saying something about being shy but I'm not sure if it was at me. Other students also organized card signings and birthday parties and such for her, one told me I should get her dum dum lollipops and chocolate ice cream as a birthday present last year, so I did. I was in a school made for people with issues, whether it be social, legal, or just life happening. I was there myself because I ran out on my senior year due to an abusive SO, they let anyone of all ages come and finish their diploma (not a GED). Lot of felons, single parents, socially awkward etc., even a 70 year old woman was in my algebra class. I don't think a single person there was problem free, and I don't mean that in an insulting way. I also agree, which is I was surprised to hear she had a boyfriend, and even more surprised to see him holding a baby when he visited the school one day. I don't know the story about that. For all I could know the boyfriend is the reason she's nervous to talk to males. It's possible the baby isn't hers or even his. I never bothered to ask. She doesn't talk about them. She also posts those "cry for help" type things on facebook. Just the other day I saw her post a thing saying that she needs to be constantly reminded that someone's cool with her because of crippling anxiety making her think otherwise. I may have worded it wrong when explaining, I really do think she's a cool friend but I also noticed the peculiar behavior, it's not the cause for a feigned friendship. I'd just rather not have friends think I'm going to hurt them, or that anyone would do so without cause. I know I can't help her through it entirely, but I figured at the least I could be a good friend, and in my opinion, from my own experiences with my own problems, it can mean a lot. I try to be there for as many friends as I can. But, like her, I am also a bit anxietal and I foolishly assumed that what could possibly just be forgetting a setting or being busy or something unguessable was related to what I've seen and even more foolishly assumed it's me. I don't know if it is or not but now that I'm in my right state of mind I can see why it was silly to jump like that. If she was still scared of me she probably wouldn't have answered the add. Or maybe her anxiety comes in waves. I have no idea. Either which way, I've chosen to just ignore it for now. I regret that I let anxiety get the better of me and posted about it before I could rationalize it myself. I'm probably gonna start taking the anti-anxiety medication when I wake up instead of at 6pm.[/QUOTE] Just so much over analysing

but I was explaining, not analysing

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;51186526]but I was explaining, not analysing[/QUOTE] Yeah and I'm saying I think the thought process your explanation provides is full of over analysing!

Just trying to be thorough, but I'll look over some text about overanalysis and see if I can reduce it. It comes very naturally and its hard to not do if I have some free time, also think a lot about what if's. Maybe I can channel that into something more productive. [editline]11th October 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=HumbleTH;51186267] Just off typing this, I guess that my main problem is putting too much weight on what other people think of me. I have like 2-3 people that I talk to fairly regularly and once I get to know someone, I just stop caring as much what they think of some random shit I do. I think I know the cause of this too. I've been bullied throughout 4th-8th grade (just 4 years though, as i skipped 6th grade due to moving), most extensively through 4th-5th grade, and I think that stigma is still here and I tend to be paranoid about my every move. How can I combat those feelings?[/QUOTE] The first part is totally normal. Knowing someone a little better usually takes the edge off in my experience. Like ZombieWaffle said, you might have kept your mind stuck on thinking about what they're thinking, but it also sounds like you had to focus on ping pong at the same time. Might just need a little practice prioritizing focus. When I feel the way you describe in that last sentence sometimes I try to think of the worst outcome and its probability being pretty low. I've found it helps.

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;51186216]I may have worded it wrong when explaining, I really do think she's a cool friend but I also noticed the peculiar behavior, it's not the cause for a feigned friendship. I'd just rather not have friends think I'm going to hurt them, or that anyone would do so without cause.[/QUOTE] Again: it is not your problem. If y'all already know each other then the gift giving thing isn't quite so weird, the way you had worded it before made it sound like you never talked. Anyway, you know she deals with mental health issues. You don't work at the school. You don't have training working with people who deal with mental disorders. It's not your job to know how to accommodate that. You're a normal person and you're behaving like a normal person. It doesn't sound like you've done anything that would normally get a fear reaction. How she's reacted is not your responsibility and not being able to anticipate an abnormal response does not detract from you being a good friend.

Thank you. That was really well put.

I know this probably a really stupid question, but how do I get someone who just wants to fuck? Like I don't want to date anyone, I'd just prefer a fwb type thing or even a one night stand. I just realized these things were actually real so I was wondering how I could get in on that. I need an active sex life because I'm 21 in a few days and I want to be able to go to bars and pick up chicks and stuff. I guess that's how you say it. Sorry for sounding dumb [editline]12th October 2016[/editline] I just have had no sex life ever so it's kind of weird. The first and only time I had sex (if you want to call it that) the girl said I was bad at it, left the morning of, and never spoke to me again

Tinder.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51191417]Tinder.[/QUOTE] Can confirm, friend stuck with Tinder for 2-3 days and managed to bang. Some areas really have desperate girls

Is quick bangs all tinder is good for?

Nah I've met some neat people on Tinder just to talk to for funsies. But the way the platform is designed is more conducive to hooking up.

So, nobody responded to the message I put up 3 days ago, so I figures people were to put off by its size to read it. I will try to summarize it. I met this girl forma the first time on a party, she had it on her apartment and everyone there had fun, then we went clubbing and I found myself dancing with one of her friends because she made an approach and I didn't really know how to say no. Meanwhile, the hostess was off with another male friend who had a girlfriend already, and I didn't see her until the end of the night, but they didn't do anything else but dance. Then, two days later, she invited us to another party again, this time had fun in the apartment and then went clubbing, but this time, she and I talked the whole way there by ourselves, and she seemed to be having a good time and laughing at my jokes. Then, on the club we danced in a normal way for 2 hours. Another friend, got his wallet stolen and to calm him down after we managed to find it without all the money, I had to take him back to the dorma before he started a fight. Now, 5 days have passed, and I haven't heard anything from neither of the girls, but I should mention the one I danced with on the first night wasn't there on the second. I didn't mind, since I'm more interested in the one I talked with, but since I have never been in a relationship or tried to get into one, I don't know what to do at all. I was thinking on asking her out to coffee in the mall on Friday, but a friend told me that I should wait to be in more parties with her, but I don't want to do that since the university year has already started proper and I don't think there will be that many more parties, and besidea, I want to approach her while she's not drunk. My fear is that when we talked and danced, that she was merely amused but not interested and that she will say no to my invitation. What should I do?

I only just picked up Tinder for the first time a week ago and I dunno what to tell you. User success may vary I guess, but my experience leaves me with mixed signals and confusion. You can read my experience as an example and then maybe you guys can tell me what's up since (I think) I'm terrible with this texting bs. My first [I]and only[/I] match thus far was this cute chick that responded slowly. I knew that game, so I took my time responding as well to prove I'm patient. My initial introduction was a funny story, then she told me one, then Pokemon came up (she's into Pokemon, easy) so I threw out a sly innuendo utilizing Pokemon names. All of a sudden she didn't respond, so I waited. Nothing came so I sent another message with a goofy little joke about her silence before I went to work, to remind her I existed. She did respond a few hours later and she laughed at it, then responded well to my innuendo and basically said, "Yeah I wouldn't mind riding your dick." Great, I asked for her number. She complimented my cat in one of my pics and then gave me her number. After I got home from work I messaged her by phone. I was direct with that first text saying let's hang tomorrow and go grab a bite to eat, do this, do that, etc etc. She says she can't because she's in Toronto atm for Thanksgiving. I ask her when she's back to which she says Thursday. I tell her let's hang Friday since I don't work then. She says "Ohh yeah maybe" and then it all ends there. I respond with a concrete time and location for a meetup and ask her if that'll work for her. Radio silence. "Alright" I think, I'm used to this. I'll just wait another day. Nothing. Halfway through today I wait and send another little joke message about the silence and ask again if Friday will work. Nothing. I'm still waiting but I already know she's gone and I'm shit outta' luck. It confuses me because I don't know what I did wrong. Did she seriously lose interest just like that? Her responses have all been positive thus far, but out of the blue it's suddenly game over for me? I didn't say anything stupid as far as I can tell. Or is she just (truly a rare case) actually unable to respond for whatever reason and I'm getting worked up over it for no reason? Can I be advised? It just doesn't add up. [QUOTE=Ctrl;51191742]My fear is that when we talked and danced, that she was merely amused but not interested and that she will say no to my invitation. What should I do?[/QUOTE] Just ask her out, what have you got to lose? It's a simple coffee date, she won't look at you as if you're asking to marry her. Coffee dates are great ways to connect with people and you've already got your foot in the door by the seems of it, so just take the next step in and ask. Even if she says no, then whatever.

[QUOTE=Ctrl;51191742]So, nobody responded to the message I put up 3 days ago, so I figures people were to put off by its size to read it. I will try to summarize it. I met this girl forma the first time on a party, she had it on her apartment and everyone there had fun, then we went clubbing and I found myself dancing with one of her friends because she made an approach and I didn't really know how to say no. Meanwhile, the hostess was off with another male friend who had a girlfriend already, and I didn't see her until the end of the night, but they didn't do anything else but dance. Then, two days later, she invited us to another party again, this time had fun in the apartment and then went clubbing, but this time, she and I talked the whole way there by ourselves, and she seemed to be having a good time and laughing at my jokes. Then, on the club we danced in a normal way for 2 hours. Another friend, got his wallet stolen and to calm him down after we managed to find it without all the money, I had to take him back to the dorma before he started a fight. Now, 5 days have passed, and I haven't heard anything from neither of the girls, but I should mention the one I danced with on the first night wasn't there on the second. I didn't mind, since I'm more interested in the one I talked with, but since I have never been in a relationship or tried to get into one, I don't know what to do at all. I was thinking on asking her out to coffee in the mall on Friday, but a friend told me that I should wait to be in more parties with her, but I don't want to do that since the university year has already started proper and I don't think there will be that many more parties, and besidea, I want to approach her while she's not drunk. My fear is that when we talked and danced, that she was merely amused but not interested and that she will say no to my invitation. What should I do?[/QUOTE] you should ask her out [editline]12th October 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;51191747]I only just picked up Tinder for the first time a week ago and I dunno what to tell you. User success may vary I guess, but my experience leaves me with mixed signals and confusion. You can read my experience as an example and then maybe you guys can tell me what's up since (I think) I'm terrible with this texting bs. My first [I]and only[/I] match thus far was this cute chick that responded slowly. I knew that game, so I took my time responding as well to prove I'm patient. My initial introduction was a funny story, then she told me one, then Pokemon came up (she's into Pokemon, easy) so I threw out a sly innuendo utilizing Pokemon names. All of a sudden she didn't respond, so I waited. Nothing came so I sent another message with a goofy little joke about her silence before I went to work, to remind her I existed. She did respond a few hours later and she laughed at it, then responded well to my innuendo and basically said, "Yeah I wouldn't mind riding your dick." Great, I asked for her number. She complimented my cat in one of my pics and then gave me her number. After I got home from work I messaged her by phone. I was direct with that first text saying let's hang tomorrow and go grab a bite to eat, do this, do that, etc etc. She says she can't because she's in Toronto atm for Thanksgiving. I ask her when she's back to which she says Thursday. I tell her let's hang Friday since I don't work then. She says "Ohh yeah maybe" and then it all ends there. I respond with a concrete time and location for a meetup and ask her if that'll work for her. Radio silence. "Alright" I think, I'm used to this. I'll just wait another day. Nothing. Halfway through today I wait and send another little joke message about the silence and ask again if Friday will work. Nothing. I'm still waiting but I already know she's gone and I'm shit outta' luck. It confuses me because I don't know what I did wrong. Did she seriously lose interest just like that? Her responses have all been positive thus far, but out of the blue it's suddenly game over for me? I didn't say anything stupid as far as I can tell. Or is she just (truly a rare case) actually unable to respond for whatever reason and I'm getting worked up over it for no reason? Can I be advised? It just doesn't add up.[/QUOTE] she probably decided she didn't want to sleep with you after all.

[QUOTE=Zenreon117;51191693]Is quick bangs all tinder is good for?[/QUOTE] Not really, you can also get some nice dates out of it but the point is that you like or dislike people purely on their appearance, so if someone basically thinks you are hot they would like you.

[QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;51191747]I sent another message with a goofy little joke about her silence before I went to work, to remind her I existed. [/quote] [quote=UntouchedShadow;51191747]Halfway through today I wait and send another little joke message about the silence [/QUOTE] don't do this

yeah thats cringey stuff man. if someone isn't texting back just leave it. [editline]13th October 2016[/editline] when i was on tinder i'd send a first message and talk as long as there was a message to respond to. there were times where id have a great conversation with them but they would stop talking to me, and i've done the same to girls on tinder.

[QUOTE=NixNax123;51192404]don't do this[/QUOTE] "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." [editline]12th October 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;51191747]Nothing came so I sent another message with a goofy little joke about her silence before I went to work, to remind her I existed.[/quote] [QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;51191747]Halfway through today I wait and send another little joke message about the silence and ask again if Friday will work.[/QUOTE] There is nothing you could possibly say in that scenario that doesn't sound like "please pay attention to me". Your previous text each time didn't just disappear into the ether. Either she didn't have a chance to respond yet (which was possible the first time) or she didn't want to respond.

Take my retarded story from a couple pages back as a warning and as evidence to what happens when you don't stfu when she's not responding to you :saddowns:

I get mixed opinions about this particular thing. It's always either don't say anything because you sound needy, or it's wait a day or two and then message again or it'll seem like you don't really care. Well whatever now, just another lost cause. Im sure as hell not going to send anymore messages because I honestly can't be arsed to hold someone's attention like that for longer than I need to. If she honestly just loses interest in me all of a sudden like that, I'm out.

[QUOTE=Zenreon117;51191693]Is quick bangs all tinder is good for?[/QUOTE] Nah, I know people who have gotten into relationships as well - and why not? Just because it's on the surface a very superficial platform, physical attraction is basically a requirement in most relationships anyway.

I've been doing the tinder for about 8 months on and off. Some stats for me so far: 16 matches 1 match was a bot 3 of them I didn't talk to at all (had second thoughts after matching) 4 of them actually exchanged a few messages with me (and half of them were the first to message) 1 of those 4 actually seemed interested in a date, then went dark as soon as I suggested exchanging numbers 1 of those 4 told me she wanted to hook up, then went dark as soon as I said I was on board 8 of them I messaged once and got no kind of response whatsoever. [editline]12th October 2016[/editline] I don't know if I'm just bad at talking to people online or what but I have not been able to meet one person from tinder. But the girls who show interest in me irl seem to practically throw themselves at me, and then my struggle is just to go ahead and act on the really obvious signs they give me and not come off totally oblivious. The last girl I was with eventually just said to me one night "we should make out" and that was the first sign I actually picked up on. And a girl at my new job seems interested in me. There are lots of little things, like how she'll always smile when she notices me, and makes it a point to find me and talk every time we work together, and once asked me to stay late so she could spend more time with me (not that I was able) and told me the other day that she was really sad the past few days because I wasn't at work with her, and she missed me. I'll probably try and ask her out next time I see her. Or at least get her number or something. I know everyone will rightfully say it's a bad idea to get involved with a coworker, I've even been there and done that and it went pretty horribly last time. But this is just a part-time side job for me to get a little extra money, and I can absolutely afford to quit it if drama arises. At this point in my life I'm way more interested in making friends (especially if one turns into a girlfriend) than I am in holding onto this half-decent job.