Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;48557599]Alright, so remember that girl I mentioned in the last thread who I met at a party? Yeah, she went silent. :v: I'll be blunt with the details: I met her for the first time there, she offered me her number, then she initiated making out with me, she seemed into me, blah blah. A day later I text her, she asks who I am, I tell her it's me, and I got no response since, and I haven't sent her anymore texts since either. The only reason I'm even bringing this up is because I'm confused, and I'm wondering why, and want to learn from it. I've never had anything like this happen with a girl, where they showed so much interest in me and then suddenly go quiet like that. It's just downright strange. I can't for the life of me think of what might have gone wrong. Being the pessimist I am, it's my assumption she lost interest. Should I even bother trying to initiate contact again?[/QUOTE] You wake up the next day of partying. How do you feel? Do you feel like you're having fun like in the party? Probably not. Same with the girl. She must definitely have a mood change. Also, I agree with the intoxication part from the post above.

[quote]Okay guys be prepared for a wall of text. So about three months ago I met this girl when hanging out with one of my mates and we got along pretty well. Anyway managed to get her number and we started talking and pretty soon we were texting all the time and it was then that I realised that I could have something with this chick. Met up a few times after that and then we started phoning each other every night for multiple hours (like before we both go to sleep). During this time I learnt about her last relationship which was a trainwreck; she dated a dude for 5 months and in that time had a miscarriage after which he found about it he broke up with her. This made me realise that its gonna take a lot of trust building before we start a relationship. It became pretty confusing during this time as well because she was giving me signs that she wanted something with me and had feelings for me but also that she didnt want a relationship. Anyway after about 2 months me, her and her best friend (now a good friend of mine as well) were hanging out and her ex texted her. She began to talk with him over the next week and even caught up with him the next weekend. At this point I was really worried because I thought she might pick him over me. She hung out with him a second time 2 weeks later and they made out with him(her best friend was there and told me about it). That absolutely gutted me but she was still showing me signs that she has feelings for me and stuff so i tried to assume that it was just meaningless. She has mega trust issues so I have been scared to ask her for a relationship as whenever Ive brought up anything related she has blown it off. However about 2 weeks ago we were watching movies and cuddling when things escalated and we ended up having sex. This actually improved things quite a lot and she is way more open with me. Thing is I dont know if I should ask her for a relationship or not... What are your thoughts guys?[/quote] Okay so bit of an update on this one. So our "interaction" (for lack of a better word) actually got way better over the past few weeks and I was really quite happy with where we were. But then she started hanging out with her ex again and was getting distant and shy when telling me about it. So she saw him 2 times in one week and it was getting to me so I just asked her about her intentions towards him and towards me. She replied with this: [quote]Worst possible time you could ever ask after the shit my parents just gave me but whatever No im not getting back with my ex, and wont ever cause our lives are different Yes we are friends and it is working cause we don't fight anymore Yes im going to hang out with him cause we get along and I dont have many friends atm and I can get outside opinions on important things And it's not like im trying to hide the fact im hanging out with him cause I've been pretty honest[/quote] Anyway she was already in a bad mood when she sent that but I didnt know unfortunately. So after this things have actually gotten a lot better as I understand what is going on between them. She also mentioned she is not ready for a relationship yet as she has a lot going on in her life at the moment (moving out which is causing family stress and such). We are still having sex regularly and enjoying intimate moments and such so I dont mind that we are not "in a relationship". Im just not sure what direction I should take this from here or whether I should just roll with it. Just wanted to know you's guys thoughts on this? Extra insight is always appreciated :)

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;48552807]I just can't catch a fucking break. Right after I asked that girl if she wanted to start dating again and she said "Yeah I'd really like that", the way we flirt in person and over text for WEEKS and we end up kissing for christ sakes she suddenly turns around and says she just doesn't feel it anymore and just sees me as a friend. I've been racking my brains for days wondering what I did wrong, but all my friends tell me that was a shitty thing of her to do and that I shouldn't worry about it. I'm not too upset about it, yeah I know there's other fish in the sea and I'll find someone else but just.... Goddamn it. I really thought it was going to work out for once.[/QUOTE] Ever hear the expression, "Shit or get off the pot?" You kinda fell victim to that. One thing people sometimes forget is nothing is locked in, someone saying yes to you asking them out or whatever doesn't mean the work is over you can relax and take your time. You said you flirted and stuff for weeks before things escalated, weeks is wayyyyy too long. She probably just got really bored and lost whatever feelings she had. I wouldn't say it's fucked up or whatever, flirting and texting isn't enough to keep the flame alive for a lot of people. By the time things got around to escalating, it was probably past the point of no return. With relationships, you have to set a pace and stick with it. Once a level of commitment is involved, then maybe you can slow down. But you won't get very far with anyone if you let the goofing around phase last too long. Or maybe she just thought you were a bad kisser/your breath smelled. I've had it happen. Life is suffering.

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;48560672]Ever hear the expression, "Shit or get off the pot?" You kinda fell victim to that. One thing people sometimes forget is nothing is locked in, someone saying yes to you asking them out or whatever doesn't mean the work is over you can relax and take your time. You said you flirted and stuff for weeks before things escalated, weeks is wayyyyy too long. She probably just got really bored and lost whatever feelings she had. I wouldn't say it's fucked up or whatever, flirting and texting isn't enough to keep the flame alive for a lot of people. By the time things got around to escalating, it was probably past the point of no return. With relationships, you have to set a pace and stick with it. Once a level of commitment is involved, then maybe you can slow down. But you won't get very far with anyone if you let the goofing around phase last too long. Or maybe she just thought you were a bad kisser/your breath smelled. I've had it happen. Life is suffering.[/QUOTE] Well we're mutual college friends, and we were flirting for weeks because we weren't back in town yet. We ended up kissing a few days after we got back, so that's the timeframe there. I know my breath didn't smell because I'd brushed my teeth and used mouthwash 30 mins prior and she actually told me multiple times I wasn't a bad kisser, so it must have been something else, god knows what. Honestly I'm not terribly upset I just feel like I've wasted my time and want things to work out for once.

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;48563700]Well we're mutual college friends, and we were flirting for weeks because we weren't back in town yet. We ended up kissing a few days after we got back, so that's the timeframe there. I know my breath didn't smell because I'd brushed my teeth and used mouthwash 30 mins prior and she actually told me multiple times I wasn't a bad kisser, so it must have been something else, god knows what. Honestly I'm not terribly upset I just feel like I've wasted my time and want things to work out for once.[/QUOTE] Maybe she just freaked and didn't want to do it. People are messes half the time, and it's difficult to find someone without some sort of massive issue that seriously affects their relationships with other people. I wouldn't think or worry about it too much.

while we're on the subject, how can someone actually be a bad kisser? I'm new to the field but it seems fairly straightforward. 1. mash mouths together 2. touch her butt a little

so i brought a girl home last night and tried to fuck but i couldnt get it up because i was wasted. should i give her a call and ask her on a date, i'm not sure i'm really bad at reading signs but she seems keen. shes a friend of a friend.

of course not. you could get cooties.

so is that a yea?

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;48563700]Well we're mutual college friends, and we were flirting for weeks because we weren't back in town yet. We ended up kissing a few days after we got back, so that's the timeframe there. I know my breath didn't smell because I'd brushed my teeth and used mouthwash 30 mins prior and she actually told me multiple times I wasn't a bad kisser, so it must have been something else, god knows what. Honestly I'm not terribly upset I just feel like I've wasted my time and want things to work out for once.[/QUOTE] It might not be your fault it lasted too long, but it can still happen. It's bad timing to start something with someone like that when you won't be able to meet up for weeks, even if it's totally out of your control, they can still get bored of everything. I ran into that a lot in college, and am running into it in the military now. People just get burnt out fast from all that stuff, you shouldn't make a move until you know you can capitalize on it.

[QUOTE=Sector 7;48563891]while we're on the subject, how can someone actually be a bad kisser? I'm new to the field but it seems fairly straightforward. 1. mash mouths together 2. touch her butt a little[/QUOTE] shoving ur tongue in someone's mouth who isn't down for it is a big thing too I've never really been into tongue but a few guys I've dated have assumed that it was cool and it got really gross. So. There's that.

[QUOTE=Pascall;48564105]shoving ur tongue in someone's mouth who isn't down for it is a big thing too I've never really been into tongue but a few guys I've dated have assumed that it was cool and it got really gross. So. There's that.[/QUOTE] can't imagine not frenching it'd be a super dealbreaker if someone can't even french or doesn't like to, obviously don't just jam it in there but it just feels like a natural ramp-up as you start going

[QUOTE=Pascall;48564105]shoving ur tongue in someone's mouth who isn't down for it is a big thing too I've never really been into tongue but a few guys I've dated have assumed that it was cool and it got really gross. So. There's that.[/QUOTE] no offense pascall but you're not the average person in a relationship generally speaking relationships have some element of sexual contact

Well I'm aware of that lmao I just mean that there's definitely a nice way to do it and there's a gross way to do it

[QUOTE=Sector 7;48563891]while we're on the subject, how can someone actually be a bad kisser? I'm new to the field but it seems fairly straightforward. 1. mash mouths together 2. touch her butt a little[/QUOTE] A bad kisser is someone who is too direct, too rough. Like you just have said. I obviously believe you aren't just doing those steps. You have some steps in between such as: -Caress her hair -Look at her eyes -Start slowly kissing her Then yes, you are mostly doing it right. If you grab a girl and kiss it like if were a pillow....you are doing it wrong.

That's not what my anime pillow says to me though.

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;48564151]no offense pascall but you're not the average person in a relationship generally speaking relationships have some element of sexual contact[/QUOTE] Eh, I still agree with Pascall. Its weird although ocassionally enjoyable. Generally the bf and I don't french. He's a sloppy kisser anyway tho

The only bad kiss experience I ever had was a girl who made it feel like she was devouring my mouth with her lips. Frenching is pretty awesome if both people are on the same page though. There's something about it that I can't quite put my finger on, but it just feels so damn riveting.

Funnily enough, the gf and I generally can't get off each others faces when we're alone together. Hell, our first kiss together was out in a busy city in front of thousands (a capital mind you). Some people really enjoy it, others are grossed out by it often. Being in a relationship helps you work out what actions are best.

The only girl I've been with who was a really bad kisser made me feel like I was kissing a fleshlight. Her lips were so damn stiff and she had a lip ring that got in the way I was like what the fuck woman relax your mouth. And by fleshlight I mean like a stiff rubber/plastic type deal. I've never used a fleshlight before though so I have no idea what they actually feel like. I promise.

Just from my own experience, girls seem like they're usually gentler kissers than guys tend to be. A lot of the guys I've kissed seem to think the objective is to give me a bruised lip.

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;48566189]The only girl I've been with who was a really bad kisser made me feel like I was kissing a fleshlight. Her lips were so damn stiff and she had a lip ring that got in the way I was like what the fuck woman relax your mouth. And by fleshlight I mean like a stiff rubber/plastic type deal. I've never used a fleshlight before though so I have no idea what they actually feel like. I promise.[/QUOTE] If you meant a stiff rubber plastic thing why didn't you say something less awkward Could've said butt plug

I'll only go for a rougher, more passionate kiss when the moment calls for it. Otherwise, it's all gentle, soft stuff.

So I've had a bit of a slump in my confidence with this girl I've been mentioning on here. I just got moved back to day shifts after a month of working over nights so I finally get to see her at work again. I was planning on asking her out today. My issue though is I'm not sure she's even interested at all. She had a dance at her uni last night and posted a status afterward that said "best part of my day? (Some guy she's friends with)". She doesn't really reply to my messages all that much anymore, just views them. I just don't know what to think of it all and if I should even bother asking her out :/

Only real preference with kissing is that I like a good bit of tongue, which seems to be an unpopular opinion among the people I've talked to

Not being able to french must be horrible

[QUOTE=crazykyle16;48567557]So I've had a bit of a slump in my confidence with this girl I've been mentioning on here. I just got moved back to day shifts after a month of working over nights so I finally get to see her at work again. I was planning on asking her out today. My issue though is I'm not sure she's even interested at all. She had a dance at her uni last night and posted a status afterward that said "best part of my day? (Some guy she's friends with)". She doesn't really reply to my messages all that much anymore, just views them. I just don't know what to think of it all and if I should even bother asking her out :/[/QUOTE] Does she work at the same place as you? If the answer is yes, don't bother asking her out. Is she showing any signs she's interested? If the answer is no, you should probably not bother asking her out. There needs to be some basis of interest there. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for failure.

I think I got good performance boost at work yesterday. On monday I started working on one serious bug and managed to fix it in 2 days and submit it on wednesday morning. On friday one of our biggest clients called in and asked for patch/fix for that specific bug by next friday (next friday from today) as they have some big release coming up and they need that bug fixed. And here I am, with fix ready to go. What a coincidence.

It's not a "it's never gonna work" thing. It's a "it's fucking rude" thing. I mean two people may very well work together and still be a-okay in a relationship together but it's a simple fact that asking someone out while they're on the clock is rude and isn't a great way to kickstart something like that because someone on the clock is like 90% of the time not the person they are off the clock, depending on the job. Like if you and a person at work are giving mutual signs that it's cool both on and off the clock then it's like sure, whatever. But you don't ask someone out who ain't giving you the OK, especially if they're working because it's not cool to sort of pigeonhole them into being overtly nice to you if they want to say no.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;48571346]So you guys always say "don't ask someone out where you work" but I know 2 couples from the same workplace that are getting engaged now after meeting each other at said work place. I think there's a lot more to look at than just "You work together = can never date" [editline]29th August 2015[/editline] Although in the above situation I agree[/QUOTE] I refer to it more in the case of someone you don't work with, as in the amount of people as a customer that ask about asking an employee somewhere out, which is 100% no. I think dating CAN be done at work but it matters a lot where you are and the situation and you do also need to be prepared for if it does go sour that will effect you work situation. Generally its a bad idea, but it can be done.