Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=NightmareX91;48737688]There is this girl who I have liked for a few years now, and I think I should finally attempt to ask her out as I will most likely feel like shit if I don't go through with it. Problem is: she has her eyes set on someone else, I am hilariously bad at conversations and I am afraid of ot being yet another awkward relationship, should I succeed. All of our conversations so far over the years have been rather short and awkward, so I have no idea how to go about this.[/QUOTE] "Hey, how've you been?" *her response* Insert appropriate reaction like "That's good!" or "Oh, I'm sorry to hear" if something negative. "I was wondering if you'd wanna go out to (place) on (day) at (time)" Maybe no so specific but definitely something along the lines. Just do it, bud. [editline]22nd September 2015[/editline] Take her on some dates, talk to her, get to know her. It won't be awkward. You'll become comfortable around her after a while.

[QUOTE=Exigent;48737722]"Hey, how've you been?" *her response* Insert appropriate reaction like "That's good!" or "Oh, I'm sorry to hear" if something negative. "I was wondering if you'd wanna go out to (place) on (day) at (time)" Maybe no so specific but definitely something along the lines. Just do it, bud. [editline]22nd September 2015[/editline] Take her on some dates, talk to her, get to know her. It won't be awkward. You'll become comfortable around her after a while.[/QUOTE] I'll give that a go, thanks.

[QUOTE=Chaseymusica;48737172]I've been dating this girl for almost a year now and I think I love her I mean I feel really strongly about her and can't stand to be apart and she's really great and gets me and is supportive and she's a good person but I keep having these urges. There's this girl I was friends with whom became close friends with me very quickly because we had very similar experiences and we could talk about anything and she has gotten extremely attractive more so than she already was. Lately I find myself fantasizing about her and not my girlfriend. I still am attracted to her and enjoy our sexual relationship and such and she's great but it's confusing to feel so strongly that I crave a sexual relationship with this girl and honestly if I wanted i could probably get it and we could hook up but it's so weird. I'm so at ends with it yet the thought of her and I is intense and intriguing to me but I really care about my girlfriend. I feel like a crazy asshole[/QUOTE] Same thing happened to me. I decided to go for the secondary girl. Left my girlfriend, got with the secondary, stopped talking to both. That's just how it ended. But now I'm happier than I was in the original relationship. It's entirely up to you, what you think is the better decision, and what you want. Maybe use some SWOT if you can't decide, or even just a positive/negative list?

[QUOTE=NightmareX91;48737742]I'll give that a go, thanks.[/QUOTE] Just realize that they're a person too and that someone starting conversation isn't going to be awkward unless you make it entirely awkward. Go up with confidence, speak clearly, look at them directly, just how you'd talk to a friend. She's no different.

Don't plan conversations in your head like it's a formula, because it will never go out as planned. Because when things start going out of plan you won't know what to do and end up being more awkward and insecure. Dialogue is not like online chat. People don't speak in turns. You have to adapt. I take my math professor's analogy into dating too: "Don't memorize formulas, learn do decompose and adapt to problem solving by analyzing each step of the problem. You gain dating experience by experimenting. Not by following plans.

Has anyone else had the problem where a person you like suddenly stops texting you, even though everything in the conversation has gone well? This other person out of nowhere just stopped texting me and left me dry after I replied to their text, it was kinda near 11:30 though, so I don't know.

Got paid at work, first time after starting job almost 2 months ago (when I started I missed the payroll deadline). Tax system is so complicated and nobody taught me a shit about it, got ripped off 50% of taxes. So angry now.

[QUOTE=puppy156;48738226]Has anyone else had the problem where a person you like suddenly stops texting you, even though everything in the conversation has gone well? This other person out of nowhere just stopped texting me and left me dry after I replied to their text, it was kinda near 11:30 though, so I don't know.[/QUOTE] You're being paranoid. Either they fell asleep or they're busy. Don't let it get to you, they'll answer eventually.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;48738250]Got paid at work, first time after starting job almost 2 months ago (when I started I missed the payroll deadline). Tax system is so complicated and nobody taught me a shit about it, got ripped off 50% of taxes. So angry now.[/QUOTE] dont you get them back in tax returns? [editline]22nd September 2015[/editline] also what does one do if they think they might have social anxiety

[QUOTE=puppy156;48738226]Has anyone else had the problem where a person you like suddenly stops texting you, even though everything in the conversation has gone well?.[/QUOTE] Yes. It's called insecurity.

[QUOTE=Psygo;48738365]also what does one do if they think they might have social anxiety[/QUOTE] obviously this might be kind of an incendiary opinion but I think social anxiety for the most part is a load of bullshit it seems to me like tons of people use the label to victimize themselves and never get comfortable with the idea that social skills require lots of time, exposure, and practice

Social anxiety is a real thing, but a lot of people DO use it as an excuse to not actually place themselves outside of their comfort zone and get acquainted with social norms and expectations. Anxiety is more than just being slightly nervous to talk to people. Personally, I see social anxiety as a complete and total inability to socialize without the real threat of being overwhelmed and pushed into anxiety attack territory. Sort of up there with agoraphobia.

this is why I haven't done anything about it yet, I really don't know if it's a real thing for me. and I don't really know how to find out if it's a real thing.

I sometimes wonder too if most of the people that go online telling they have social issues were actually diagnosed by a professional. I know it's actually a thing, but truth is most people that claim having it are just people with tremendous lack of motivation or just got enclosed to a lifestyle that has become their comfort zone and just come up with any excuse to delay getting the fuck out of it.

I see people like that on the internet and thank god that, despite all my faults, I will never be as far gone as some of these people. It's terrible, but it keeps me going.

I've never been completely against self-diagnosis, but it's always better to go get it confirmed by a psychiatrist.

[QUOTE=Sector 7;48738602]obviously this might be kind of an incendiary opinion but I think social anxiety for the most part is a load of bullshit [/QUOTE] I agree that definitely lots of people do use it as an excuse - but it is obviously a real thing. I've never had any social anxiety apart from totally ordinary awkwardness etc., except for recently shortly after I started university I think the stress of living in halls and pushing myself to go out possibly while I felt ill made me start associating 'I'm going out!' excitement with feeling physically ill like having a tense stomach, feeling physically sick and feeling extremely anxious. It wasn't ever too extreme but I was very worried for a while because I seemed to feel that way just before going out even when I totally did want to see those friends and had been looking forward to going out all day- even when I got back home and saw my normal friends I still had a few pangs of it. I wouldn't label it real social anxiety and I did just push myself through it by making myself calm down and knowing that I'd feel fine within 5 minutes of being out the door- but I was very shocked to see just how ill my body could make me feel for literally no reason, and there were several times I came very close to just calling off going out because I felt sick (but wasn't). So I can definitely see just how inhibiting a genuine condition could be as well as how easily it might start

I've had anxiety about calling people on the phone recently. It's really weird too, because in all my years of life, it's never been the slightest issue for me, and if anything, I'm way more sociable than I've ever been in my life, but this still happened. Last week I was texting a friend and she told me her grandfather died. I asked her if she was holding up ok, and I never got a response, so I figured it must have hit her pretty hard. So the next day, I resolved I'd call her on the phone to see how she's doing. For some reason, I ended up sitting around the house for about an hour before I could work up the nerve to call her. And she didn't even answer in the end. I don't know why this suddenly happened to me. I would think maybe I just need to call a lot of people to get myself accustomed to the act, but I don't want to harass my friends with tons of phone calls :v:

Or get a job in a call center. Trust me, it will go away.

[QUOTE=Psygo;48738727]this is why I haven't done anything about it yet, I really don't know if it's a real thing for me. and I don't really know how to find out if it's a real thing.[/QUOTE] The issue isn't that people are wrongly diagnosing themselves with it. A ton of people have social anxiety just because of how today's culture is and how easy it is for us to avoid face-to-face communication. If you think you have social anxiety, you probably do, diagnosis itself isn't a big deal and it's petty for people to sit around talking about whether your disorder is "real" or not. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and responds to the same treatments as a duck, then you might as well just call it a duck for the sake of convenience. The issue is that people are approaching mental disorders like this in a counterproductive way. A large part of solving any phobia or directed anxiety is to increase your exposure to the thing that bothers you. Avoiding socialization altogether is just going to make your anxiety worse. [editline]22nd September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Loofiloo;48739534]I've had anxiety about calling people on the phone recently. It's really weird too, because in all my years of life, it's never been the slightest issue for me, and if anything, I'm way more sociable than I've ever been in my life, but this still happened.[/QUOTE] This is actually an incredibly common anxiety for people to have today because we rarely talk over the phone in our culture. Today most people either use text-based communication or audio with video included. Over the phone you lack the visual cues of face-to-face communication which might be what makes some people anxious about it. If you have to move, you'll get over it pretty quick. I had this same anxiety up until a couple weeks ago. Too much time wasted talking to customer service.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48740443]Or get a job in a call center. Trust me, it will go away.[/QUOTE] this is a pretty stupid idea

Yes, that's why I was being ironic.

[QUOTE=Psygo;48738365]dont you get them back in tax returns? [editline]22nd September 2015[/editline] also what does one do if they think they might have social anxiety[/QUOTE] Yeah you do but you need to go through some fuck ton of forms to apply for tax returns.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;48741174]Yeah you do but you need to go through some fuck ton of forms to apply for tax returns.[/QUOTE] Yeah no you just do your taxes like everyone else. If it's fixed now so that you pay the correct percentage you should get it back in tax returns. I paid 50% for an entire year on purpose and got it all back when I changed my tax bracket. [editline]23rd September 2015[/editline] Unless ireland somehow fucked up.

Is there any way of telling if you're in the early stages of balding or whether it's just in your head? I'm almost certain my hair is thinning and I've noticed it falling out quite a lot but my parents have said I'm just being a hypochondriac and it's stressing me out consider I'd rather not start balding in my 20's.

honestly if you're in good shape I don't think balding is an issue

[QUOTE=BigBadWilly;48543178]Welcome to the Social Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread (v8)! Do you have problems with your friends? Do you need help asking that girl out? General advice? Chat? Ask us here! We have a plethora of users with loads life experience, ready to help you out, right now! Little tip for those giving advice - be nice, be tactful, and be honest. Think before you post and if you're not 100% sure if you're right, don't post. There's nothing worse than the feeling of knowing that you fucked someone's situation up by giving the wrong advice. It also helps if you watch the 2005 film "Hitch" starring Will Smith, as it's essentially the love advice handbook. (I disagree but this was in the last OP so whatever) For those receiving advice - Don't be afraid to ask questions, but be receptive, be polite and don't complain if you hear something you don't want to hear. Half the advice given in this thread will be of the sort that the receiver will not be pleased about. Sometimes it is hard to hear the truth. [URL="steam://friends/joinchat/103582791433756842"]CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE STEAM CHAT[/URL] Past Versions: [URL="http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1133771"]V1[/URL] [URL="http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1152241"]V2[/URL] [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1160400"]V3[/URL] [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1220984"]V4[/URL] [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1250101"]V5[/URL] [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1257818"]V6[/URL] [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1446327"]V7[/URL] Updated: -Fixed Hyperlinks for previous verisons[/QUOTE] Very interesting... but you might want to takee the "Dumb x 4" into consideration...

are you a bot [editline]22nd September 2015[/editline] tell the truth

I'm currently in Highschool, I'm a Sophomore, and I feel very passive. I don't really interact with a lot of people, I have friends I talk to, but I find it very difficult to share my opinions on everyday topics, like music, shows I like, etc. One time in the 8th grade, English Class, I had a special bond with the teacher, and we shared a connection, we had the same senses of humor, which made me more comfortarable with the class and teachers. I really want to be more social with others, and find that medium I had in english classs, but have it in life in general, any tips?

Okay, huge cheeseball alert It's official I love my girlfriend and I'm thinking of doing some DIY stuff and some non-DIY stuff for our one year anniversary! I'd just like some opinions on what I've got in mind. She always liked the tie-dye t-shirts I made when I was younger so I'm going to make one in blue and grey/dark grey for her (her favorite colors). I'm going to make a mixtape using songs we love to tell the story of us so far and at the end I'm going to cover one of her favorite songs on my guitar and that'll be the last one. She loves edible arrangements, so I'm going to get her one of those. And lastly, a jar with a bunch of notes in it from me and confessions. The last one is up for debate and I really need some ideas or if some of these are down-right stupid.