Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=carcarcargo;48742171]Is there any way of telling if you're in the early stages of balding or whether it's just in your head? I'm almost certain my hair is thinning and I've noticed it falling out quite a lot but my parents have said I'm just being a hypochondriac and it's stressing me out consider I'd rather not start balding in my 20's.[/QUOTE] I think it's pretty common for your hair to recede or thin to some extent in your 20s. My hair on top of my scalp receded a bit and got noticeably thinner in my early 20s, but it hasn't gotten any worse for several years. And still [i]really[/i] thick in the back and on the sides. Still, it's not unheard of to get the genetic shit end of the stick in that department. I've got a friend who's 26 and is totally bald on top. I wouldn't worry about it. You can still look good with thinner hair (or no hair), and hey, being too stressed about it might just make it worse. That part might be bullshit, but being stressed out is pretty much always worse in general.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;48742955]I've already got a few gray hairs, I'm exited to put a "Silver Fox" bumper sticker on my vehicle.[/QUOTE] I have a gray left sideburn. Life is good.

[QUOTE=jbthekid;48743723]I have a gray left sideburn. Life is good.[/QUOTE] Man I am SO CLOSE to having the coolest gray hair. See I've got this tiny patch of vitiligo on my forehead. Most people don't even notice it. But it comes RIGHT up to my hairline, and based on what I've read, if it was just slightly bigger and spread beyond my hairline, into my hair, I'd have an awesome streak of white hair right at the front of my bangs. As it is now, I just occasionally have one or two white hairs right there at the edge, but never enough to be noticed. I have to really look for them.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;48743762]Man I am SO CLOSE to having the coolest gray hair. See I've got this tiny patch of vitiligo on my forehead. Most people don't even notice it. But it comes RIGHT up to my hairline, and based on what I've read, if it was just slightly bigger and spread beyond my hairline, into my hair, I'd have an awesome streak of white hair right at the front of my bangs. As it is now, I just occasionally have one or two white hairs right there at the edge, but never enough to be noticed. I have to really look for them.[/QUOTE] You'll get there. I'm 22, but my grandfather apparently had a head of gray hair pretty early on so I'm guessing that's where I'm getting it from. Honestly I think it'll be pretty tight to have gray hair. It's just cool.

Are we seriously discussing hair and baldness on a love advice thread? Cause l have lots of it :v:

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48743811]Are we seriously discussing hair and baldness on a love advice thread?[/QUOTE] Woah I didn't even realize that... Someone posted about hair and I replied, but just now I can see that it's pretty irrelevant.

not irrelevant imo, your appearance is pretty important for social interactions

Not just appearance, but hygiene too. Many of my friends ask me for advice on how to approach men/women they like. As I always suggest: before you approach anyone, make sure you're always clean and smell good. No one likes the smell of sweat and body odour.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48743811]Are we seriously discussing hair and baldness on a love advice thread? Cause l have lots of it :v:[/QUOTE] I don't see the problem considering it can have a pretty noticeable impact on both your social and dating life.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;48740640]The issue isn't that people are wrongly diagnosing themselves with it. A ton of people have social anxiety just because of how today's culture is and how easy it is for us to avoid face-to-face communication. If you think you have social anxiety, you probably do, diagnosis itself isn't a big deal and it's petty for people to sit around talking about whether your disorder is "real" or not. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and responds to the same treatments as a duck, then you might as well just call it a duck for the sake of convenience. The issue is that people are approaching mental disorders like this in a counterproductive way. A large part of solving any phobia or directed anxiety is to increase your exposure to the thing that bothers you. Avoiding socialization altogether is just going to make your anxiety worse. [/QUOTE] I never said I was planning on avoiding socialization though. I just don't have any clue what I'm supposed to do if I think I have it. The reason I'm really not sure if I have it though, is I have no problem with groups, and I have no problem talking to people. I only have problems talking to people if it's to ask for work or similar things like that.

Never posted here before. I work at Pizza Hut and I was taking out the recycling, these two damn fine girls are walking past so I drop a casual 'Lookin' good!'. The one on the left gave a cute smile and says 'Hey, thanks!' and continues walking and I think nothing of it, BUT she comes back with her friend and asks if I work here (we were in a carpark). We got talking, one thing led to another and I got her phone number. Now this girl is stunning - 17, white, curly brunette, thin, dressed nicely, a little shorter than me (i'm 6ft). Let's call her B. The other girl is good-looking also - similar age, she's a light shade of brown, black hair to her waist, let's call her A. Then only odd thing is that they weren't wearing any shoes (just girls i guess?). Anyway, so a couple days later I give B a call, no answer so i send a text. These girls are bffs or something, i get a reply from A (B didn't have credit) and I organize to hang out the next day. They both show up, presumably to make sure i'm not some rapist axe murderer or whatever, I take them in my car (which has a giant dent in the back due to being rear-ended, but they don't seem to care), we grab an ice cream by the beach and just walk/chill for a while. Things are a little awkward because it's me and two girls when i'm interested in one (B) but i just play it cool, ask lots of questions and try not to be a weirdo. During this, I found out B has a boyfriend whom she is living with at the moment, but apparently the relationship is volatile and she's deliberately being difficult in order to get the guy to break up with her. Still, we had a lot of fun hanging out and it's pretty safe to say we're both attracted to eachother. Ended up going to the library to help one of their friends (J) with some homework (ie. do their homework for them) and I was able to put my intellect to use helping them with that. I had to pretend not to be interested in B so J wouldn't catch on and tell B's bf or whatever. J got a lift home with J's bf, who i later found out was worried about me being there with J. Apparently guys get really worried about their gfs even hanging out with other guys, which is kinda funny seeing as i'm interested in B and not J. Furthermore, I was getting kinda hungry and i had to start work soon. We went through the Maccas drive-through and i bought them a bit of food before saying our goodbyes. Overall things went cool and we had fun! The only thing that worried me at the time was that B had a bf, i've been in a similar situation with a girl and it was a shit experience. It's been a day or two since then. I just called B to organize another hang-out/date, she told me she and her bf were no longer an item (her tactic worked) and that she would love to hang out, so i'm feeling pretty awesome! Phew, sorry about the wall of text. Here are some things i've learned about B so far, let me know if there's anything really worrisome: - firstly, she's incredibly attractive :) - she dropped out of year 12 but will possibly revisit it through other pathways - no job - she moved out of home when she was 16 to escape from her crazy, argumentative parents - has been living with her now ex-bf (they argued a lot over petty shit), i am unsure what is going to happen now that they are broken up regarding her accomodation - i asked what she wants out of a guy, she said she wants a guy who isn't angry and can give/take sexual favours, ie. not self-centered - i noticed some scars on her arms/legs, looked like self-harm - she likes pop/rap music played on the radio which doesn't really fit with my tastes, but it's not a deal-breaker for me - i can still enjoy it.

I was hoping I could seek advice on a problem that's been with me for nearly my whole life. I feel that - in general - I'm really narcissistic, spiteful and quite aggressive of a person. I've felt it in nearly all walks of life; towards my family, the few friends I had, in work, school, college and just about everywhere. Whenever I make an attempt to change it, it always end up with the same method, I just try to act like I'm not and that makes me feel worse and sometimes sad. Particularly with my mother, from my point of view, she doesn't seem to show that she cares about me even though she's claimed that she does. Whenever we talk, she always just asks me about what financial state I'm in, or points out some of the flaws I show while working around the house or with anything else really. I find it unsettling that I currently want to move out really bad because I can't bear the thought of having to live with this person for another week; if not another few years.

[QUOTE=ilmon3y;48745973]I was hoping I could seek advice on a problem that's been with me for nearly my whole life. I feel that - in general - I'm really narcissistic, spiteful and quite aggressive of a person. I've felt it in nearly all walks of life; towards my family, the few friends I had, in work, school, college and just about everywhere. Whenever I make an attempt to change it, it always end up with the same method, I just try to act like I'm not and that makes me feel worse and sometimes sad. [/QUOTE] Have you suffered from depression at all?

[QUOTE=Cam00;48746202]Have you suffered from depression at all?[/QUOTE] Was never diagnosed, but was on prozac at one point, so yeah I guess.

[QUOTE=ilmon3y;48746427]Was never diagnosed, but was on prozac at one point, so yeah I guess.[/QUOTE] If you weren't diagnosed with depression, what was your diagnosis they were giving you Prozac for? [QUOTE=Psygo;48744677]I never said I was planning on avoiding socialization though. I just don't have any clue what I'm supposed to do if I think I have it. The reason I'm really not sure if I have it though, is I have no problem with groups, and I have no problem talking to people. I only have problems talking to people if it's to ask for work or similar things like that.[/QUOTE] Mental disorders generally imply maladaptation, meaning the person has trouble adapting to certain aspects of life. There are symptoms for every disorder that will technically show up as traits in most people (everyone has situations they're uncomfortable with, and it doesn't always imply a mental disorder), but the real determining factor is whether those symptoms are actually a hindrance in your life. It really depends on whether you consider your symptoms to be impeding on your ability to succeed socially. If you think you have social anxiety and feel that overcoming those symptoms would be beneficial for you, counseling would be a good option. Having an idea of what your symptoms are and what disorder it might be implying will probably help your counselor make a diagnosis more efficiently, and would mean you can do some research on your own on how to deal with these difficulties as well. [editline]23rd September 2015[/editline] But even if you aren't sure if social anxiety is the right term, I would suggest talking to a counselor if you're having difficulties. Counselors generally will start off with a general assessment that will give them an idea of any areas you might be having difficulty in - even if you don't have a disorder like social anxiety, you can still get help with whatever symptoms you're concerned about.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;48746924]If you weren't diagnosed with depression, what was your diagnosis they were giving you Prozac for?[/QUOTE] I can remember this was at my local doctors office; was some young guy I had to see me. I explained to him at the time that I had the typical feelings you would get while being depressed, so he told me to try some. I suppose - officially - the diagnoses was probably depression/anxiety but I honestly can't remember what he said. They didn't suit me very well; even after a couple of months of taking them. Was sleep deprived and more aggressive towards people while I was on it, so I stopped.

so on monday i sorta casually asked this girl for her number and she gave it to me weve been texting almost nonstop since then but im running out of ideas to talk about, we're supposed to meet up on wednesday for a study session but until then i was trying to keep in contact with her, but at this point i dont know what else to talk about it feels like literally every casual topic has been touched at some point. at this point im just hoping she continues the text conversations when she wants to because i feel like i cant anymore as an aside, what do you do at study groups? ive never done them before and she hasnt either. my friend may or may not join us, if he does i think itll go smoothly but if he doesnt i fear it might be super awkward

you study

[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;48758296]you study[/QUOTE] Good one.

Me and this girl didn't work out, I'm a bit sad about it but she's happy she canned it, I'm not too sure how I feel, but I made a few mistakes and I blame myself for everything so whatever

[QUOTE=Blueridge;48757680]so on monday i sorta casually asked this girl for her number and she gave it to me weve been texting almost nonstop since then but im running out of ideas to talk about, we're supposed to meet up on wednesday for a study session but until then i was trying to keep in contact with her, but at this point i dont know what else to talk about it feels like literally every casual topic has been touched at some point. at this point im just hoping she continues the text conversations when she wants to because i feel like i cant anymore [/QUOTE] I don't see why you need to talk to each other every waking minute/hour/day. If you have nothing to talk about, just wait until you go to the study group.

Ok this might be a hard one to answer but I was texting my friend today and I can't tell if she's really pissed off at me or if she's just fucking around. The whole text exchange goes Me: Hey you free for lunch today? Her: I have class I'm sorry Me: Wow [her name] says she has too much CLASS to be seen with a lowlife like me :U Her: Wow [my name] gets really clingy and tries to make everything about him Like I really cannot tell if she's just making a fucked-up joke or if I managed to really piss her off with my own joke.

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;48760011]Me and this girl didn't work out, I'm a bit sad about it but she's happy she canned it, I'm not too sure how I feel, but I made a few mistakes and I blame myself for everything so whatever[/QUOTE] I think it's pretty easy to blame yourself in that situation, but unless you really fucked up somehow it's usually no one's fault when it doesn't work out. Be kind with yourself man. [editline]25th September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Loofiloo;48760769]Ok this might be a hard one to answer but I was texting my friend today and I can't tell if she's really pissed off at me or if she's just fucking around. The whole text exchange goes Me: Hey you free for lunch today? Her: I have class I'm sorry Me: Wow [her name] says she has too much CLASS to be seen with a lowlife like me :U Her: Wow [my name] gets really clingy and tries to make everything about him Like I really cannot tell if she's just making a fucked-up joke or if I managed to really piss her off with my own joke.[/QUOTE] Well I can't really tell but your "joke" does make it seem like you're taking it personally. Unless you usually tease your friends like that in which case I guess she's taking the piss as well.

[QUOTE=_Axel;48760783]Well I can't really tell but your "joke" does make it seem like you're taking it personally. Unless you usually tease your friends like that in which case I guess she's taking the piss as well.[/QUOTE] I mean, she's telling me she has class (as in school) and the joke is that I interpreted as class, as in upbringing, social status, etc. Now I can't tell if she even got the joke, or how I should reply. I usually don't have to think about shit this much.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;48760934]I mean, she's telling me she has class (as in school) and the joke is that I interpreted as class, as in upbringing, social status, etc. Now I can't tell if she even got the joke, or how I should reply. I usually don't have to think about shit this much.[/QUOTE] I really can't tell, I don't know her more than you do. But if you're in doubt I suppose you're better off apologizing in case she took it the wrong way.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;48760934]I mean, she's telling me she has class (as in school) and the joke is that I interpreted as class, as in upbringing, social status, etc. Now I can't tell if she even got the joke, or how I should reply. I usually don't have to think about shit this much.[/QUOTE] ya but sometimes text exchanges seem more srs than they really are, but idk her or how you guys talk to each other.

[QUOTE=sj72004;48760225]I don't see why you need to talk to each other every waking minute/hour/day. If you have nothing to talk about, just wait until you go to the study group.[/QUOTE] yeah that makes sense. generally i dont talk to the person at all until we meet up and i feel like that botches some potential relationships. im trying to get to the point where i can actually keep a friendship going for more than school related purposes i think i like this person and im pretty sure she knows it but i dont want to seem too clingy

[QUOTE=PollytheParrot;48741064]this is a pretty stupid idea[/QUOTE] Well I mean, call centers being literally one of the shittiest jobs out there aside, this is actually not a terrible thing? I have social anxiety (undiagnosed but honestly I dont need a doc to tell me it is More Than Obvious) and I get major major anxiety with phones, but, some of my jobs have directly required me to use a phone and there is no getting out of it when it is For Work. It helped me sort of get over it a bit when I absolutely had to do it rather than stressing and putting it off and trying to find a reason not to. It helped me acclimatize some and be better at personal calling as well. I've fallen a bit out of it now I rarely have to call out at work but I actually answer the phone at home now rather than pretending its not there so tbh its not a terrible idea to take up something which has phone duties. That was sort of a random unnecessary ramble. I'm in sort of an odd mood I guess don't mind me

same thing happened with me and driving I used to get massive driving anxiety (violent leg shakes when I had to go on the highway, general sense of doom 24h before a trip to somewhere new) but then I got a job 50 miles away and it disappeared in two weeks

[QUOTE=Rhenae;48764111]Well I mean, call centers being literally one of the shittiest jobs out there aside, this is actually not a terrible thing? I have social anxiety (undiagnosed but honestly I dont need a doc to tell me it is More Than Obvious) and I get major major anxiety with phones, but, some of my jobs have directly required me to use a phone and there is no getting out of it when it is For Work. It helped me sort of get over it a bit when I absolutely had to do it rather than stressing and putting it off and trying to find a reason not to. It helped me acclimatize some and be better at personal calling as well. I've fallen a bit out of it now I rarely have to call out at work but I actually answer the phone at home now rather than pretending its not there so tbh its not a terrible idea to take up something which has phone duties. That was sort of a random unnecessary ramble. I'm in sort of an odd mood I guess don't mind me[/QUOTE] Well yeah when you're force to face something you'll probably get over it, but going literally so far as to get a job in a call center just to tackle "talking on the phone" anxiety is just a bit much/overkill/overinvestment/mountains-out-of-molehills