Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Shifty Pete;48779379]I kinda get peeved when I'm legitimately being friendly/curious and I receive passive-aggressive bullshit and insults to my intelligence, so yeah, [B]I egged her on because I found it funny how annoyed she was getting over it.[/B][/QUOTE] "What a waste of my time and effort. Maybe I should stop trying so hard." Im confused by your posts.

[QUOTE=Shifty Pete;48779379]I kinda get peeved when I'm legitimately being friendly/curious and I receive passive-aggressive bullshit and insults to my intelligence, so yeah, I egged her on because I found it funny how annoyed she was getting over it.[/QUOTE] This is what you get for acting like an ass to people you actually know. Acting like this gets you nowhere in life. Be it social, education or workplace. [IMG]http://41.media.tumblr.com/9c7fbbc7e866a91bb3063e072a3ae0b9/tumblr_ntqk3bRt8m1t16m1po1_1280.png[/IMG]

Look, I was hanging out with these girls over a period of a couple of weeks. We had fun and got to know eachother, i bought them food and coffee sometimes. I didn't expect anything in return. However, when i'm treated like crap I'm not going to pretend to be okay with it in some desperate attempt to remain friends. From the limited perspective of what i've posted it's easy to make assumptions about me and how I act. Honestly I've been having a hard time lately and I just want to vent. If you have some constructive criticism I will listen, but please don't jerk me around. This thread is supposed to be friendly.

If girls start acting like a dick to you, the wise thing is to just stop talking to them. Not really worth the stress just to try and get a one-up on them.

Aight so me and this girl I saw over tinder are looking at reviving this thing that was going on For clarification sake, we never dated but we fell I split things off because we fought every night and I could not have this negativity cloud my life any longer and make my depression worse but I started to miss her She nice enough, checks on me after my date bails over a stupid "eye opening post" she read, and was making sure I was alright but threw snobby references in like "I'm pretty perfect, but sure" Anyway the next day, I was in my apartment (on holidays RN in Melbourne) and got pretty drunk. Starting to connect the dots and sent a text along the lines of "I also realised people lie, thanks for helping me realise that" and it started a war Now during this time we were seeing each other, we agreed to "see each other exclusively", think of this as a relationship that has no ties, it's like putting handcuffs on someone but no chains. You can very easily run off. The thing at this time was going absolutely to the pits, so I was talking to someone else on the side and slept with this girl from okc. Now I consulted some websites like blahtherapy to double check what I was doing wasn't bad (I get guilty far too often over small things) and after going through 4 different anonymous people, they said it wouldn't be a problem since we weren't dating Back to the present, during this war she called me a psycho, a creep, an over obsesser, and basically a tool for getting her attention that she craved. Also confessed to never deleting tinder, just unmatching me and keeping her options available. So I hit back with that I slept with someone and let me tell you my phone, burnt Think of dropping your phone through all atmospheres, it was a crisp, the outrage was fucking enormous. A day later I was at the casino betting some money and basically being a low life, she text me wondering why I lashed that attack and I apologised because it was a dumb move. But she got super duper upset at me sleeping with someone and "could never be sure if I'd be loyal" thanks to that. But she text back saying she was over it but idk, I think me and her want to try again because we miss each other (heavily implied) but tonight she didn't respond to me asking if the feeling was mutual I understand this seems silly to repeat a dead end but I'm basically lonely as it is and we got along well when we weren't fighting. I just don't know, if I consult my best friend about it id be scolded But can you lot tell me if I was a terrible person for breaching this "thing" we had by venturing off elsewhere, I told her I wouldn't give a shit if she slept with someone since we weren't dating, but yeah I just want advice idk

[QUOTE=Shifty Pete;48779499]Look, I was hanging out with these girls over a period of a couple of weeks. We had fun and got to know eachother, i bought them food and coffee sometimes. I didn't expect anything in return. However, when i'm treated like crap I'm not going to pretend to be okay with it in some desperate attempt to remain friends. From the limited perspective of what i've posted it's easy to make assumptions about me and how I act. Honestly I've been having a hard time lately and I just want to vent. If you have some constructive criticism I will listen, but please don't jerk me around. This thread is supposed to be friendly.[/QUOTE] Here's some constructive criticism: Don't act like a jerk to people around you. It wont get you anywhere. If you don't want to hear simple stuff like that then what you're looking for is an echochamber.

[QUOTE=Shifty Pete;48779499]Look, I was hanging out with these girls over a period of a couple of weeks. We had fun and got to know eachother, i bought them food and coffee sometimes. I didn't expect anything in return. However, when i'm treated like crap I'm not going to pretend to be okay with it in some desperate attempt to remain friends. From the limited perspective of what i've posted it's easy to make assumptions about me and how I act. Honestly I've been having a hard time lately and I just want to vent. If you have some constructive criticism I will listen, but please don't jerk me around. This thread is supposed to be friendly.[/QUOTE] don't wanna be an ass but isn't it a bit weird to say you weren't looking for anything in return then complain about being friendzoned either way yeah, there's no point in trying to argue with someone who gets mad for something as silly as you not knowing weed slang

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;48779623]Aight so me and this girl I saw over tinder are looking at reviving this thing that was going on For clarification sake, we never dated but we fell I split things off because we fought every night and I could not have this negativity cloud my life any longer and make my depression worse but I started to miss her She nice enough, checks on me after my date bails over a stupid "eye opening post" she read, and was making sure I was alright but threw snobby references in like "I'm pretty perfect, but sure" Anyway the next day, I was in my apartment (on holidays RN in Melbourne) and got pretty drunk. Starting to connect the dots and sent a text along the lines of "I also realised people lie, thanks for helping me realise that" and it started a war Now during this time we were seeing each other, we agreed to "see each other exclusively", think of this as a relationship that has no ties, it's like putting handcuffs on someone but no chains. You can very easily run off. The thing at this time was going absolutely to the pits, so I was talking to someone else on the side and slept with this girl from okc. Now I consulted some websites like blahtherapy to double check what I was doing wasn't bad (I get guilty far too often over small things) and after going through 4 different anonymous people, they said it wouldn't be a problem since we weren't dating Back to the present, during this war she called me a psycho, a creep, an over obsesser, and basically a tool for getting her attention that she craved. Also confessed to never deleting tinder, just unmatching me and keeping her options available. So I hit back with that I slept with someone and let me tell you my phone, burnt Think of dropping your phone through all atmospheres, it was a crisp, the outrage was fucking enormous. A day later I was at the casino betting some money and basically being a low life, she text me wondering why I lashed that attack and I apologised because it was a dumb move. But she got super duper upset at me sleeping with someone and "could never be sure if I'd be loyal" thanks to that. But she text back saying she was over it but idk, I think me and her want to try again because we miss each other (heavily implied) but tonight she didn't respond to me asking if the feeling was mutual I understand this seems silly to repeat a dead end but I'm basically lonely as it is and we got along well when we weren't fighting. I just don't know, if I consult my best friend about it id be scolded But can you lot tell me if I was a terrible person for breaching this "thing" we had by venturing off elsewhere, I told her I wouldn't give a shit if she slept with someone since we weren't dating, but yeah I just want advice idk[/QUOTE] "Exclusive" generally means that sleeping with someone else is considered cheating. You're not a terrible person, but the fact that you and her convoluted the purpose of what you had going was really just setting yourself up for failure. She doesn't seem to want to be with anyone besides you and wants you to reciprocate, but if you're not about that life, you really shouldn't pursue it. At the same time though, she seems to not be about commitment either if she didn't want an outright "relationship" label. I dunno, honestly it seems like a recipe for disaster and confusion and misunderstandings and I'm not sure why you would think that putting yourself in that situation would sound like a good idea. I understand you're lonely, but it's not really worth it to throw yourself into something that could potentially cause more problems just because you crave companionship.

[QUOTE=Pascall;48779689]"Exclusive" generally means that sleeping with someone else is considered cheating. You're not a terrible person, but the fact that you and her convoluted the purpose of what you had going was really just setting yourself up for failure. She doesn't seem to want to be with anyone besides you and wants you to reciprocate, but if you're not about that life, you really shouldn't pursue it. At the same time though, she seems to not be about commitment either if she didn't want an outright "relationship" label. I dunno, honestly it seems like a recipe for disaster and confusion and misunderstandings and I'm not sure why you would think that putting yourself in that situation would sound like a good idea. I understand you're lonely, but it's not really worth it to throw yourself into something that could potentially cause more problems just because you crave companionship.[/QUOTE] I don't know, she's like, serious about things. We never had sex because she wanted to make sure I wasn't all about that, like I understand that logic but to me it branded this entire thing as being serious. I've never been in a serious relationship, some of the best things started by fucking around, but she wanted to do it the other way. i didn't mind it, Im open to it all. It was just that, when we fought, she would depart super early and leave me hanging on a loose thread. She also would fight with me while I was working, since I'm a delivery driver, I couldn't have her bloating my screen when I needed to hear and concentrate on the GPS and road. She also made work pretty shit when we fought So I told her tonight I wanted changes if we were to try again, she acknowledged what I said but no where did she agree, she just kind of said "yeah I understand" but no "we can try" You've basically said what my best friend will say when I tell her, I'm just trying to consult, but my rise for being independent has hit me again, so I've got multiple issues. Idk if I'm for it, I just want someone to love and appreciate me and call me theirs, but at the same time I want to go around and see what's out there, but she came pretty close to being what I want. It doesn't hurt to try again, but if it becomes what it was before, I'm going to leave

Give yourself an ultimatum then, if you're gonna try again. Like, "If [I]this[/I] happens, then I'm gonna do what's good for myself and leave." You gotta give limitations and expectations or else it's probably not gonna get better.

We're all in agreement that me being grumpy and participating in a silly argument was pointless and accomplished nothing. A momentary lapse of reason while under stress. [QUOTE=Zukriuchen;48779647]don't wanna be an ass but isn't it a bit weird to say you weren't looking for anything in return then complain about being friendzoned[/QUOTE] I didn't expect anything and I had the hindsight not to get attached, but having a girl brush you off still sucks. At least this time it sucks much less than my first encounters with girls where I didn't have a clue what I was doing.

[QUOTE=Pascall;48779839]Give yourself an ultimatum then, if you're gonna try again. Like, "If [I]this[/I] happens, then I'm gonna do what's good for myself and leave." You gotta give limitations and expectations or else it's probably not gonna get better.[/QUOTE] I have some rough ideas in my head but I need to think about what I really want, maybe a good time for thought is on the plane tomorrow

How do college relationships work? I was gonna ask some girl out on a date and I only kinda know her, I met her at a party and we didn't hook up or anything. I started asking around and people were like "yeah man its kinda weird to just ask someone you're not really close to out" and they were telling me that it's better to just try and make situations to hang out with her before going on a real date and now I'm like really doubting my decision to ask her out on a date.

[QUOTE=IMoo;48780235]How do college relationships work? I was gonna ask some girl out on a date and I only kinda know her, I met her at a party and we didn't hook up or anything. I started asking around and people were like "yeah man its kinda weird to just ask someone you're not really close to out" and they were telling me that it's better to just try and make situations to hang out with her before going on a real date and now I'm like really doubting my decision to ask her out on a date.[/QUOTE] How college relationships work: (will differ based on region, culture, and on an individual basis) 1) You meet girl/guy (at party, work, class, magic the gathering tournament etc) 2) You strike up some sort of social interaction (small talk, large talk, talk about politics, talk about nihilism, talk about World of Warcraft PvP builds) 3) You inwardly gauge the responses to your attempts at social interaction (do they make her happy, seemingly interested, disgusted, terrified, fatalistic) 4) If you decide that things seem okay, you look into continuing the interaction on a more personal basis (ask for her number, fax her, send smoke signals, semaphore flag waving, interpretive dance) 5) Assuming she agrees, you very surreptitiously send messages making sure they are devoid of: patheticness, seeming desperate for sex, seeming desperate for attention, seeming desperate, Oedipus fantasies) 6) Throughout the course of your interactions you will build up rapport with her and once you understand her mind better you'll be able to suggest a mutual activity where you two can have fun and further your relationship (magic the gathering tournament). Now, if you're in college college, this process can be a bit simplified: 1) Drunkenly listen to person complain about their friends, their job, their asshole father, Obama 2) Agree with everything 3) Fuck in the public restroom

[QUOTE=IMoo;48780235]How do college relationships work? I was gonna ask some girl out on a date and I only kinda know her, I met her at a party and we didn't hook up or anything. I started asking around and people were like "yeah man its kinda weird to just ask someone you're not really close to out" and they were telling me that it's better to just try and make situations to hang out with her before going on a real date and now I'm like really doubting my decision to ask her out on a date.[/QUOTE] Just ask her out mang. I got the same response from people in college, but most of those people could never score a date. The most they ever got was one night stands from parties. Especially in college, not many people go out on dates, not many girls are used to it. You earn bigtime points in most books simply by asking them out on dates, since it's something most guys never do. You'd be surprised how few girls have been asked out beyond booty calls, and how excited they get when you do it. Chicks would get fucking hyped and end up way overdressed because they never got to go on dates. So ask her out. Don't get me wrong, she might still say no, but don't underestimate the effectiveness of a simple date in college. It could get you a massive leg up on the competition.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;48769021]Also, when people talk about coincidences, they're only looking at the times coincidental things actually happened. You're ignoring all the times that nothing coincidental has happened, which is most of the time.[/QUOTE] stolen from "why do buses come in threes" [img]http://i.imgur.com/Oypn27M.png[/img]

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;48781840]stolen from "why do buses come in threes" [img]http://i.imgur.com/Oypn27M.png[/img][/QUOTE] An excellent read that book

So imma need your guys' opinion on if this chick likes me or not. Imma start from the beginning so bear with me. I met her in math class, but we only just exchanged names or whatever and did a bit of small talk. During the class we were separated into groups and I wasn't put into her group so we didn't talk during class at all. I expected to never actually talk to her again, but after class she was there waiting for me, so I got her number and we went to get lunch together. After that I walked her to her next class, and during the walk she mentioned not wanting us to drift apart in case I met her friends. Later that day we were gonna get dinner together but it was very crowded so we decided to just go on a walk. During the walk she told me how fun it is to spend time with me and how she feels like she's known me for much longer than just one day. At the end of our quite long walk, I was going to get some food (she didn't want any) and she told me that she wanted to pay for me cause of how much fun she had with me. I declined cause I think that's hella weird. I'm not going to go into details of the next few days but we've been spending a lot of time together and going on walks and exploring the campus. She constantly compliments me about how nice and kind and smart I am. Yesterday she told me that she visited my room to surprise me but I wasn't there (I was in the shower). We also went on a fairly long walk yesterday across the beach, and she was constantly telling me how happy she was to meet me and how much she likes spending time with me. Today during lunch she told me that she wants to start introducing me as her friend from childhood (even though we've known each other for like 3 days lmao) So I don't get it is she being just really nice to me or does she maybe like me? I have no prior experiences with girls and in high school i avoided girls like the plague, so this is really new to me. She's qt and likes anime btw so if she does like me it's like a gold mine that I've stumbled upon

Sounds like she likes you. But don't get super ahead of yourself and "fall in love" or whatever. Gotta just let it gel. Ask her out somewhere. Can't hurt.

[QUOTE=Pascall;48782226]Sounds like she likes you. But don't get super ahead of yourself and "fall in love" or whatever. Gotta just let it gel. Ask her out somewhere. Can't hurt.[/QUOTE] We've pretty much agreed to go on walks together like every night. Does that count?

Change it up a little bit.

[QUOTE=Pascall;48782421]Change it up a little bit.[/QUOTE] We also eat together quite often and do homework together. What more does she want????? man I knew I shouldn't have stopped watching anime this real life shit is way too complicated Oh yeah we also explored the chem building and the library yesterday (she seemed to enjoy it)

It's not that she WANTS more, it's that you should be offering a good variety of stuff for you guys to do together? And not just as "hanging out" if you wanna pursue something more. You gotta make it clear that it's something that will be considered a date before you actually go there.

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;48778356]Consider if the expectations you make are a part of the reason, you're most likely putting a lot of pressure on her to take a girlfriend role way too early. And.. bro... She literally told you she didn't want a relationship. When someone tells you that, they are talking about [I]a relationship with you[/I]. When she started taking with her ex you should have accepted that this wasn't going anywhere good, even if you "won", you'd have a girlfriend so flaky she can't even tell you if she likes you each day of the week.[/QUOTE] No no, maybe I didnt give enough info. But i didnt and i dont want any relationship. The fact is when she started talking to me after a waaay looong hiatus, my friend already told me he was done with her and was dating other girls (confirmed it). I didnt know she was still talking with him. I only knew it after she came asking me what I wanted with her. [editline]28th September 2015[/editline] I mean i had the info because my friend broke his ligaments, I went to his house to give him support 2 weeks ago and I found her sitting next to him in his bed. I was like, wtf? .

[QUOTE=Cutthecrap;48783178]No no, maybe I didnt give enough info. But i didnt and i dont want any relationship. The fact is when she started talking to me after a waaay looong hiatus, my friend already told me he was done with her and was dating other girls (confirmed it). I didnt know she was still talking with him. I only knew it after she came asking me what I wanted with her. [editline]28th September 2015[/editline] I mean i had the info because my friend broke his ligaments, I went to his house to give him support 2 weeks ago and I found her sitting next to him in his bed. I was like, wtf? .[/QUOTE] She's not exclusive with you and she's already been explicitly clear that she doesn't want to be exclusive with you. It's really not your business who else she's intimate with. She's cut things off with you because despite her being extremely clear about not wanting a relationship, you're acting like she's your girlfriend and getting upset over things that she never committed to in the first place. She's been abundantly clear that you're not in a relationship together, and yet you say things like "I'm scared she's going to leave me for the other Tinder guy". [editline]28th September 2015[/editline] Like there's nothing wrong with preferring a monogamous relationship to being friends with benefits, but be honest with yourself here. Being friends with benefits isn't working for you, and being FWB with someone who you have non-mutual feelings for is not a good idea.

Man, I always do this. I get so attached and infatuated with people, and things go so amazing for a little while. And then I start to notice things little things they do, little things that annoy me. I try my best to let these things slide, I've been in a couple long term (2+ year) relationships and I know when to pick my battles. But it just seems like every time I have something good going, I find these stupid little things and it ends up ruining the relationship. Well, that was a wonderful moment of happiness until well. It ended of course. Forever alone, le sigh.

[QUOTE=Cutthecrap;48783178]No no, maybe I didnt give enough info. But i didnt and i dont want any relationship. The fact is when she started talking to me after a waaay looong hiatus, my friend already told me he was done with her and was dating other girls (confirmed it). I didnt know she was still talking with him. I only knew it after she came asking me what I wanted with her. [editline]28th September 2015[/editline] I mean i had the info because my friend broke his ligaments, I went to his house to give him support 2 weeks ago and I found her sitting next to him in his bed. I was like, wtf? .[/QUOTE] Did you quote the wrong post or are you using two accounts in the same thread? Cause I haven't said anything you this account :v:

[QUOTE=KaideKillsYou;48783486]Man, I always do this. I get so attached and infatuated with people, and things go so amazing for a little while. And then I start to notice things little things they do, little things that annoy me. I try my best to let these things slide, I've been in a couple long term (2+ year) relationships and I know when to pick my battles. But it just seems like every time I have something good going, I find these stupid little things and it ends up ruining the relationship. Well, that was a wonderful moment of happiness until well. It ended of course. Forever alone, le sigh.[/QUOTE] Hence the nature of infatuation. It can last up to 3 years, longer in unique circumstances (like long distance relationships, since you don't interact frequently enough or on a deep enough level to "burn out," you can keep a weaker form of those drugs running for a very, very long time). You can't really say you know a person, or have a particularly strong bond with them, until the infatuation drugs go away and you see them for who they really are. That is why so many people, including yourself, have that super awesome amazing period, only to fall off a cliff at some random point. Your instinct is taking over, telling you to find someone else because it wants you to reproduce with as many different partners as possible, increasing the genetic variation (and likelihood of survival) amongst your offspring. "Love" is, in its most basic form, the concept of staying attached to someone despite not having those floaty crazy feeling drugs running through your blood. It's seeing a person for everything they really are, having your body tell you to fuck off and find someone else, but still deciding they're the one you want to be with. People harp about love coming from the heart, but in reality, it's your brain overriding basic human instinct. It goes against everything thousands of years of survival have ingrained into our psyche. It overrides everything, from basic self-preservation, to the basic desire to reproduce, taking priority over just about everything short of keeping your heart beating and your diaphragm contracting. There's nothing wrong with infatuation or relationships ending, don't let it get you down. Just keep plugging away, eventually someday you'll come across someone who you feel the infatuation drop off after 2-3 years but... what is this new feeling... she(or he, whatever) plastered long ass hairs all over the walls in the shower and instead of being pissed at them for being a gross human being, I'm happy they're my gross human being. It's subtle, you won't know it has happened until well after the fact. But it will happen. Just keep putting yourself out there, it's a crapshoot. All about taking stabs in the dark until you actually hit something, then trying not to fuck that shit up.

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;48784074]Did you quote the wrong post or are you using two accounts in the same thread? Cause I haven't said anything you this account :v:[/QUOTE] Damn, stupid me. I quoted the vrong post :V [editline]29th September 2015[/editline] Yeah I mixed up two messages [editline]29th September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;48783372]She's not exclusive with you and she's already been explicitly clear that she doesn't want to be exclusive with you. It's really not your business who else she's intimate with. She's cut things off with you because despite her being extremely clear about not wanting a relationship, you're acting like she's your girlfriend and getting upset over things that she never committed to in the first place. She's been abundantly clear that you're not in a relationship together, and yet you say things like "I'm scared she's going to leave me for the other Tinder guy". [editline]28th September 2015[/editline] Like there's nothing wrong with preferring a monogamous relationship to being friends with benefits, but be honest with yourself here. Being friends with benefits isn't working for you, and being FWB with someone who you have non-mutual feelings for is not a good idea.[/QUOTE] Hahahaha Just like I've been asked Are you sure you've quoted the right message?:what: Or you didnt read the previous message related to it?

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;48781575]Just ask her out mang. I got the same response from people in college, but most of those people could never score a date. The most they ever got was one night stands from parties. Especially in college, not many people go out on dates, not many girls are used to it. You earn bigtime points in most books simply by asking them out on dates, since it's something most guys never do. You'd be surprised how few girls have been asked out beyond booty calls, and how excited they get when you do it. Chicks would get fucking hyped and end up way overdressed because they never got to go on dates. So ask her out. Don't get me wrong, she might still say no, but don't underestimate the effectiveness of a simple date in college. It could get you a massive leg up on the competition.[/QUOTE] Idk it's just a couple of people say like "they're gonna question themselves about whether or not i asked her out because netflix n chill or if i actually like her" or "you'll be putting them on the spot and make them uncomfortable if they know you like them" so I just started like doubting my decisions on whether they're the right one.