Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

Hey, this is a side-hug only thread. Keep your lips away from cheeks you dirty pervs. Dude. Seriously. Are you on your puberty or something? A kiss in the cheek has "emotional impact" to you? You got "really drunk" and you feel guilty because you gave a cheek kiss. Usually people get worried when they wake up in someone's bed after getting "really drunk", not a kiss in the cheek. Try visiting my country then and you'll have the highest emotional impact of your life, because we greet the opposite sex with 2 kissed in each cheek. Two. (well except if you want to greet formally or professionally). But still, girls here, they ain't gonna let you handshake them. They're going to make you cry yourself to sleep. :cry:

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48790463]Hey, this is a side-hug only thread. Keep your lips away from cheeks you dirty pervs. Dude. Seriously. Are you on your puberty or something? A kiss in the cheek has "emotional impact" to you? You got "really drunk" and you feel guilty because you gave a cheek kiss. Usually people get worried when they wake up in someone's bed after getting "really drunk", not a kiss in the cheek. Try visiting my country then and you'll have the highest emotional impact of your life, because we greet the opposite sex with 2 kissed in each cheek. Two. (well except if you want to greet formally or professionally). But still, girls here, they ain't gonna let you handshake them. They're going to make you cry yourself to sleep. :cry:[/QUOTE] I get what you're trying to say - but there was no need to be a dick about it. "In my country" usually almost never justifies your point or increases validity, I felt bad, I don't feel so bad now. I wanted to make sure that everyone else thought it was nothing much to keep to myself and they agreed - that's fine. I still don't like that I did it, I still felt like I was going to cry. Sorry, if the thought of losing the person I love over something trivial worries me, then it does.

Settle down a little, Behemoth.

seriously though that's the weirdest shit (the kissing, not renegadecop's penis shaking [and there's a sentence i never thought i'd say]) i honestly cannot comprehend how someone would get so worried about a kiss on the cheek

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;48791483]seriously though that's the weirdest shit (the kissing, not renegadecop's penis shaking [and there's a sentence i never thought i'd say]) i honestly cannot comprehend how someone would get so worried about a kiss on the cheek[/QUOTE] i dunno, i suppose i just panicked a little. i'm a lot better now though. i dunno what it was, it was more me trying to explain that i got drunk kissed someone on the cheek in a game. i dunno?? maybe i was more panicked about how it actually sounded to her rather than the actual action

[QUOTE=tommofandan;48793770]i dunno, i suppose i just panicked a little. i'm a lot better now though. i dunno what it was, it was more me trying to explain that i got drunk kissed someone on the cheek in a game. i dunno?? maybe i was more panicked about how it actually sounded to her rather than the actual action[/QUOTE] Don't tell her? Its a kiss on the cheek it isn't like you put your dong in her dooder. Like seriously what you did isn't a big deal.

So I finally met up with this one girl I've been talking to for a little while, drove to her town when she finished college and we kinda just walked around and chilled in a park and chatted and whatnot, things went really well and we got on really well despite a little bit of expected awkwardness. Eventually she asks if I want to go back to her place for a bit, I agree to go and she warns her parents are in so they might ask a question or two, no biggie. Literally the second I follow her into the door and the mum realises it wasn't her daughter that just closed the door I see a confused face lean around the corner which instantly asks who the random guy is. Me and mum exchange awkward introductions and everything, seems nice enough. Girl asks me if I wanna head up to her room so we can do whatever so obviously I say sure, only for us to get halfway up the stairs and have the mum call her daughter back down...So I kinda just wait, she comes back up after a shit ton of whispering and stuff and says "my mum wants to talk to you". At this point I just go "uhhh...okaayy" and reluctantly plod back down to see whats up, to be greeted with the mum basically asking what my intentions are and a load of other awkward stuff. So the two of us end up sat on the stairs while the mum asks millions of questions and tries to cook their dinner at the same time. :v: Needless to say I was absolutely fucking petrified the whole time, although I coped very well, the mum even said she was jealous. The girl apologised a thousand times over as I walked back to my car and asked if I still wanted to see her again, no brainer really, she is super cute. Wont be rushing back to her house anytime soon though. :v: Seeing her again this weekend. Such a good feeling after doing fucking nothing like this for quite literally years.

I thought my parent experiences were weird but fuck does that take the cake, hey at least it worked out well though. Good for you man get out there!

Yea, Mum's just looking out for her daughter. This type of parent is actually the best to get to know and befriend because they become a second mum.

so the study session thing wasn't too bad it ended up being just a normal meetup where we talked and did some homework i want to ask this girl out on a date but due to not having a car it i cant really go anywhere. i do live about 15 mins away (walking speed) from her though so i was thinking of asking her out on a walk around the neighborhood next week when theres no classes. she says she likes bike rides so i thought it was suitable enough. thoughts?

[QUOTE=Blueridge;48799701]so the study session thing wasn't too bad it ended up being just a normal meetup where we talked and did some homework i want to ask this girl out on a date but due to not having a car it i cant really go anywhere. i do live about 15 mins away (walking speed) from her though so i was thinking of asking her out on a walk around the neighborhood next week when theres no classes. she says she likes bike rides so i thought it was suitable enough. thoughts?[/QUOTE] Go for it, I always thought that being outside for real is more fun when you're wanting to talk to someone. I'm having problems of my own. So it's been a week so far since me and my S.O. hooked up. Things were actually going pretty smooth, we texted each other each night, did a lot of things together. But that was all in the honeymoon period, which is now over. Suddenly she stopped texting me at night, it's always me starting the conversations, giving the hugs and kisses, I feel like she's putting no effort forward. There's another problem too, she has this ex-boyfriend she keeps telling me about - he's pretty weird, like he texts her all night and all day wanting her back. Frankly, all she does now whenever I get the chance to talk to her is complain about him - 80% of the conversations we have are about him. I don't know, things were going really well last week when we talked to each other and now that she's bringing all this drama to me I feel like I want out, I have a bad feeling this'll turn into a lot of heartbreak and fighting. The other problem is, I really enjoy her company too - I just feel like it's me putting all the effort forward, and it's almost like trying to talk to a brick wall. I just really don't know what to do, this is just unknown territory for me and I just need some guidance. To sum it up, I guess the person I'm with I feel like doesn't really care, and I don't know if I should break it off or keep going.

sounds like you should break up

Man I was all worried about this and it turned out to just be nothing [QUOTE=Loofiloo;48760769]Ok this might be a hard one to answer but I was texting my friend today and I can't tell if she's really pissed off at me or if she's just fucking around. The whole text exchange goes Me: Hey you free for lunch today? Her: I have class I'm sorry Me: Wow [her name] says she has too much CLASS to be seen with a lowlife like me :U Her: Wow [my name] gets really clingy and tries to make everything about him Like I really cannot tell if she's just making a fucked-up joke or if I managed to really piss her off with my own joke.[/QUOTE] So it all turned out to be a joke. I feel kind of silly now, I got all worried over nothing. I saw her today and the first thing she does is put her head on my shoulder and tell me how much she missed me, since we haven't hung out in like a month. She also told me my hair looked [i]beautiful[/i] which made me rly fukn happy

[QUOTE=puppy156;48799936]There's another problem too, she has this ex-boyfriend she keeps telling me about - he's pretty weird, like he texts her all night and all day wanting her back. Frankly, all she does now whenever I get the chance to talk to her is complain about him - 80% of the conversations we have are about him.[/QUOTE] So a) she is talking to him every night (because if she really didn't want him to text her then she would either have stopped replying or blocked his number), and b) she is constantly thinking about him. It sounds like she's withdrawing from your relationship and is already fixated on someone else.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;48800960]So a) she is talking to him every night (because if she really didn't want him to text her then she would either have stopped replying or blocked his number), and b) she is constantly thinking about him. It sounds like she's withdrawing from your relationship and is already fixated on someone else.[/QUOTE] what do i even say though, that's been on my mind for the last few days. i definitely don't want to sound rude or anything.

[QUOTE=puppy156;48805251]what do i even say though, that's been on my mind for the last few days. i definitely don't want to sound rude or anything.[/QUOTE] I've had this experience with a couple of girls. One is like you said -- goes from being all lovey and caring one minute to putting forth little to no effort the next. I was too love-drunk to realize it at the time, but she didn't have my interests at heart, and she couldn't even have the guts to tell me she didn't want to be with me -- she made up a lie about her mom not wanting us together that I fell for at the time. The second one always, always, always complained about her ex's. And if this girl not giving you attention isn't bad enough, constant talk about (or with) her ex's is a huge red flag. It means she is not always thinking about you, because any decent person knows that is out-of-bounds when you're in a relationship. The more she talks about past boyfriends, I think the more likely she will wander from the relationship. You wouldn't be rude for bringing it up, regardless of how defensive she gets. Tell her it makes you uncomfortable, and if she keeps doing it, leave. Take it from me, if she can't respect you, it'll only lead to complications down the road.

Dang, crushing on a close friend really does suck. Even after I've been rejected my emotions are still on a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment :v:

[QUOTE=tommofandan;48793770]i dunno, i suppose i just panicked a little. i'm a lot better now though. i dunno what it was, it was more me trying to explain that i got drunk kissed someone on the cheek in a game. i dunno?? maybe i was more panicked about how it actually sounded to her rather than the actual action[/QUOTE] it strikes me as odd that being so worried about kissing someone else would drive your emotions and insecurities in such a terrible way, why did you ever took part in a kissing game. even if you were that drunk, feels more like you wanted it but regreted at the very last moment.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48811632]Dang, crushing on a close friend really does suck. Even after I've been rejected my emotions are still on a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment :v:[/QUOTE] Heyo this happened to me, let me give you some advice This will happen but do not fret, it will take you a while to get over them. To you, they seem perfect and viable, like someone you could really be with but it can't happen due to a range of emotional reasons What I've done in the past when I was in your boat was to be super lowkey about it and concentrate on finding others either on tinder, okc or even going to clubs/parties, you'd be surprised but there's someone better waiting for you around the corner Tho it seems hard to see that rn and I get that. Make sure your feelings don't overwhelm her, you can be her greatest best friend and even tho it may suck because you can't have those intimate feelings and you may get a little jealous when you see her with others, just try to let that slide as best as possible and keep your door open [editline]4th October 2015[/editline] also don't think this is some "beta tier bullshit", being good friends with girls is acceptable, anyone who says otherwise is a fuckwit

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48811632]Dang, crushing on a close friend really does suck. Even after I've been rejected my emotions are still on a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment :v:[/QUOTE] This also happened to me (someone might remember from this thread several years ago) We both knew each other for several years and she knew I liked her but always said I was really sweet but she didn't like me like that. I tried to move on but I couldn't keep my mind off her. One night she messaged me and said she was thinking about leaving her boyfriend because of her new feelings for me. We lasted about a year before we broke up on decent terms because of her religion and what she wanted in a marriage in the future. We had a lot of arguments afterwards but 2 years later we're decent friends again. There's a lot of heart ache involved with liking a close friend and it might not always work out but you never know what will happen unless you try I guess. Just weigh your options, if you don't want to loose their friendship, move on. Just don't be pushy with any feelings for her, just be a good friend and try to have fun.

asked the girl i was interested in if she was single and she said no. i texted her afterwards apologizing for being awkward there and she said she didnt find it awkward at all, so now we're friends and all that kinda sucks knowing that someone very relatable to me was taken so a more intimate relationship is out of the question but a friendly one is just as good i think, im getting a bit tired of the daily cycle of classes, homework, going hope and eating, and then more classes, with a once a week video game club. having someone to talk to would be nice

[QUOTE=Pascall;48779839]Give yourself an ultimatum then, if you're gonna try again. Like, "If [I]this[/I] happens, then I'm gonna do what's good for myself and leave." You gotta give limitations and expectations or else it's probably not gonna get better.[/QUOTE] I just want to update on this situation of mine, we spoke but the conversation was still sliding away, after ~3 days of silence she removed me off Facebook and I decided to put the nail in the coffin I've met a few people from going out to a pub on Wednesday and I have an FWB so honestly, I don't need her or this, and it was fun while it lasted but eh, oh well

[QUOTE=Blueridge;48819826]asked the girl i was interested in if she was single and she said no. i texted her afterwards apologizing for being awkward there and she said she didnt find it awkward at all, so now we're friends and all that kinda sucks knowing that someone very relatable to me was taken so a more intimate relationship is out of the question but a friendly one is just as good i think, im getting a bit tired of the daily cycle of classes, homework, going hope and eating, and then more classes, with a once a week video game club. having someone to talk to would be nice[/QUOTE] I dunno, I've been really close friends with girls who have boyfriends. You can still have someone to talk to. Even if you're attracted to the girl it's totally fine most of the time. If she really is such a good friend then it should be no big deal if all you ever are is friends. And this actually gives you a great opportunity to neutrally figure out if she's [i]actually[/i] a great friend or if it's just your crush making you think all that stuff. I had myself a crush earlier this year, and I [i]told myself[/i] so hard that even if we never date, I still want to stay friends because she's a cool person anyway. I slowly came to learn we just have a few big interests in common, but her personality eventually became so repulsive to me that I was able to realize she's really been a pretty shitty friend to me.

So is it cool to just message someone on steam/Facebook/twitter just saying 'hi' and hoping a conversation goes off. Obviously I do that with good friends but not really just school friends or people in my class, and I would like 'school friends' to turn into actual friends and I don't really know how to go about making that happen.

I dont see why it wouldnt be cool, I have some friends that start off conversations saying hi to me over steam and Ive been starting stuff saying "hi hows your day been" in texts to get something going. Obvious but just use common sense, if they dont respond theyre probably busy or dont want to talk at the moment

I don't know man "hi" is pretty plain, why not spice it up with a friendly "hail satan"?

[QUOTE=Rossy167;48826525]So is it cool to just message someone on steam/Facebook/twitter just saying 'hi' and hoping a conversation goes off. Obviously I do that with good friends but not really just school friends or people in my class, and I would like 'school friends' to turn into actual friends and I don't really know how to go about making that happen.[/QUOTE] How do you react when ppl type you a PM syaing "hi" ??? I assume you don't really think about it which is probably what most ppl do cause there's nothing weird about that.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48826608]How do you react when ppl type you a PM syaing "hi" ??? I assume you don't really think about it which is probably what most ppl do cause there's nothing weird about that.[/QUOTE] Nobody ever does that to me though. I assumed either people didn't do it or nobody wants to talk to me.

euuuh shit so i found my old ex's new fb page, added her, we talked a bit then i, perhaps a bit too soon, [B]perhaps being an understatement[/B], asked her to start dating again. a bit of context, around 2011-2012 she was obsessing over me, and i didn't give a shit about dating in general. then she suddenly went silent, i wondered where the fuck was she, but didn't give enough shits to actually search. now she doesn't really trust me that I want to be with her again, y'know saying stuff like "why didnt you find somebody else?" and so on how do I salvage this aaaaa

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48826608]How do you react when ppl type you a PM syaing "hi" ??? I assume you don't really think about it which is probably what most ppl do cause there's nothing weird about that.[/QUOTE] Might sound silly, but I respond less often when friends just message me with something like "hey" without a follow-up just because it means they don't have anything to discuss and it usually ends up with them expecting me to carry the conversation. [editline]4th October 2015[/editline] If you actually don't have a specific thing you wanted to talk about then you can at least follow up with "how's it going?" or something.